Friday, May 1, 2009        Edition: #4009
Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
IBM is in the final stages of completing a computer program to compete against human “Jeopardy!” contestants, an attempt to make a giant leap in the field of artificial intelligence (IBM previously created a chess-playing program that beat the world champion in 1997) . . . In the May 11th episode, “Gossip Girl” (CW) will plant seeds for a potential spinoff that would follow the adventures of ‘Lily’ as a teen in 1980s LA (Brittany Snow would star) . . . Eco-friendly actress Rachel McAdams (“State of Play”) has launched the GreenIsSexy.org website to raise awareness of green clothing alternatives, such as underwear made from soy or bamboo (ouch!) . . . After a failed attempt at reconciliation, 48-year-old Oscar-winning actor Sean Penn (“Milk”) has filed for separation from his wife of 13 years, actress Robin Wright Penn (“State of Play”), and requested he be exempt from spousal support (dream on, dude!) . . . “American Idol” judge Paula Abdul will be shocked when Sacha Baron Cohen’s new movie “Bruno” rolls out this Summer because he reportedly interviewed her in his persona as an outrageous gay Austrian fashion correspondent and she never caught on (hard to believe, brain-dead Paula gullible?) . . . And Simon Cowell’s half-brother Tony tells “The Sun” that Simon started his show biz career as a ‘runner’ on the UK movie set of the 1980 horror film “The Shining”, where his duties included ‘polishing Jack Nicholson’s axe’ between takes (we always knew he was an axe-polisher!).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Beale Street Music Festival” (Memphis TN) – Today-through-Sunday the annual street bash that used to be a blues fest features an eclectic mix of talent: Al Green, Fall Out Boy, James Taylor, Katy Perry, KoRn, Rise Against, The Roots, Snoop Dogg, and Theory Of a Deadman.
NET: http://www.thebealestreetmusicfestival.com
• “The Clearwater Concert: Creating the Next Generation of Environmental Leaders” (NYC) – On Sunday American folk music legend Pete Seeger turns 90-years-old. His birthday bash/environmental event at Madison Square Garden has dozens of acts singing a salute, including Bruce Springsteen, Dave Matthews, Eddie Vedder, Emmylou Harris, John Mellencamp, and Steve Earle.
• “Cold Case” (CBS/CTV) – Sunday the first episode of the 2-part season finalé airs, which features a total of 16 Pearl Jam songs. It’s the first time the band has allowed a TV show to use tracks from their entire catalogue.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Jason Aldean (“She’s Country”) performs.
• “Kennedy Center Spring Gala” (Washington DC) – Sunday night this black-tie charity event at the Kennedy Center Concert Hall features notable women in the arts, such as Amy Poehler, kd lang, Kathleen Turner, LeAnn Rimes, Reba McEntire, Patti LaBelle, and others.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Justin Timberlake hosts; Ciara is the musical guest.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning No Doubt performs.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – This morning Dolly Parton (“9 to 5: The Musical”) is a guest as the show’s Broadway cast performs.

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Chris Brown – After winning a delay in the Rihanna assault case, his lawyer now plans to seek a complete dismissal due to alleged police leaks in the investigation. The next hearing has been set for May 28. (Does anyone ever get convicted of anything in La La Land?)
• Coldplay – Drummer Will Champion has been experimenting in the studio with a new drum machine that can run at a rapid-fire 168 beats-per-minute. (They’re working on a dance album?)
• Dierks Bentley – Tonight he kicks off his 1st-ever Australian tour, which includes performances in Perth, Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane. He’ll be opening shows for Brooks & Dunn.
• Lily Allen – She claims she’s now taken a vow of celibacy to ‘help improve her music’.
• Madonna – Word has it she’ll hand ex-husband Guy Ritchie custody of their kids for 3 months this Summer while she reprises her “Sticky & Sweet” tour in Europe. (Free babysitting!)
• No Doubt – Saturday they embark on a 45-date Spring/Summer tour at the Borgata Hotel Casino in Atlantic City NJ. Sunday they play the “Bamboozle Festival” in East Rutherford NJ.
• Tim McGraw – He’s under new management! He’s split with his longtime manager and signed with Red Light Management founder Coran Capshaw, primary manager for the Dave Matthews Band.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:

• “Battle For Terra” ( PG Animated Adventure ): A space explorer (voiced by Luke Wilson) crash-lands on the planet ‘Terra’, where he befriends a pair of rebellious alien teens (Evan Rachel Wood & Justin Long). The debut animated feature from Canadian production company Snoot Entertainment debuted at the “Toronto Film Festival” back in 2007.
NET: http://www.battleforterra.com
• “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Matthew McConaughey plays a committed bachelor/womanizer who is haunted by the ghosts of past girlfriends while attending his younger brother’s wedding. Co-stars Jennifer Garner. Interestingly, the film was intended to star Garner’s real-life hubby Ben Affleck when it was shelved 6 years back.
NET: http://www.ghostsofgirlfriendspastmovie.com
• “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): Hugh Jackman stars as ‘James Howlett’, also known as ‘Logan’, and best known as ‘Wolverine’. The chronicle of his younger years as a mutant traces his falling out with ‘Victor Creed/Sabretooth’ (Liev Schreiber) and his entry into the ‘Weapons X’ project. Co-stars Ryan Reynolds & Will I Am. Features multiple after-credits endings spread around on various prints. Shot in Australia & New Zealand.
NET: http://www.x-menorigins.com

GROCERIES BY GPS:
UK scientists are working on a device that works like a car navigation system to help senior shoppers (not to mention the rest of us) who become baffled trying to find items in today’s gigantic supermarkets. It’s part of government-funded research to find new ways of using digital technology to help the elderly. The sat-nav shopping device is likely to use both the Global Positioning System and the latest cellphone technology. Newcastle University is also testing a gadget for dementia patients so they can be tracked if they get lost. (How about one to find your teenager on a Saturday night?)
– “Daily Telegraph”

GUYS ‘N HEELS:
A high-heel running festival in Nanning, China is highlighted by … men racing in 3-inch (8-cm) stilettos. A race spokesman says many of the male runners have found it ‘exciting’ to run in shoes they don’t normally get to wear. The 2-week long event also features races for women and couples. Women are even more challenged, having to run in heels of at least 4 inches (10 cm). So far there have been no sprained ankles; amazing considering participants run back and forth along a 65-ft (20-m) track … while jumping hurdles. (Now there’s a bar promotion for you!)
– Ananova News

THE VIRTUAL SKY IS FALLING:

According to US think-tank Nemertes Research, web users soon face regular ‘brownouts’ that will freeze computers as capacity runs out in cyberspace. It’s predicted consumer demand, already growing at 60% a year, will exceed supply as early as next year. That’s due to more-and-more of us working online and the popularity of high-bandwidth sites like YouTube. The fear-mongers predict we’ll initially experience computers going offline for several minutes at a time. Then, by 2012, computers are likely to operate at a much reduced speed, making the Internet merely an ‘unreliable toy’. (Considering the billions-upon-billions in online business this would cost, odds are it’s not going to be allowed to happen.)
– “Times of London”

MAMA CURDS:
A new art exhibition in London features cheese made from … human breast milk. Mexican artist Raul Ortega Ayala has named his show “Alejandra Ortiz-Reynoso” after the woman who donated the milk. The cheese is served on crackers to art patrons in order to ‘explore our first encounter with food, emphasising its territoriality and boundaries’, according to the artist. A rep assures that women donate the milk voluntarily. You would hope! (Odd how this seems unsavoury … consuming milk & cheese from other species is actually what’s weird about us.)
– “Daily Express”

BS AMAZING FACT:

People born in May are most likely to think of themselves as lucky, according to a survey by Britain’s University of Hertfordshire. Conversely, people born in October are least likely to think of themselves as lucky. (Are you a ‘Pooh’ or an ‘Eeyore’?)
– BBC News

BS CHRONOMETER 05.01.09


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [59] Dann Florek, Flat Rock MI, TV actor (‘Capt Donnie Cragen’ on “Law & Order Special Victims Unit” since 1999)

1966 [43] Johnny Colt, Cherry Point NC, rock musician (since 2005 Train-“Drops of Jupiter [Tell Me]”, 1989-97 Black Crowes-“Hard to Handle”)

1967 [42] Tim McGraw, Delhi LA, country singer (“Nothin’ to Die For”, “Last Dollar [Fly Away]”)/movie actor (“Four Christmases”, “Friday Night Lights”)/Mr Faith Hill since 1996

1984 [25] Patrick Eaves, Calgary AB, NHL forward (Carolina Hurricanes)

SATURDAY –
Movie actress Christine Baranski (“Mamma Mia!”) is 57; Fashion designer Donatella Versace is 54; Country singer Ty Herndon (“It Must Be Love”) is 47; Movie actor Dwayne Johnson (“Race to Witch Mountain”) is 37;  Soccer star David Beckham (LA Galaxy, England) is 34; Rock singer Steve Bays (Hot Hot Heat) is 31; Pop singer Lily Allen (“The Fear”) is 24; Rock singer/guitarist Jim Almgren Gandara (Carolina Liar) is 23.

SUNDAY –
Folk singer Pete Seeger (“Where Have All the Flowers Gone?”) is 90; Oldies singer Frankie Valli (The Four Seasons) is 75; Country bassist John Hopkins (Zac Brown Band) is 38; Alt-rock singer Paul Banks (Interpol) is 31.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Aiken Lobster Race”, the 25th running of the world’s only ‘thoroughbred lobster’ derby, scuttles in Aiken, South Carolina. The Kentucky Derby spoof race features live Maine lobsters.
• “Canadian Tulip Festival” through May 18 in Ottawa-Gatineau. The world’s largest tulip festival is a direct result of the gift of 100,000 tulip bulbs from Holland’s Princess (later Queen) Juliana in 1945 as thanks for providing her a home during WWII.
• “Couple Appreciation Day”, a day to tell a duo how cool you think they are together. Something to do with encouraging a marriage. (Or maybe a ménage?)
• “International Tuba Day”, observed annually on the 1st Friday of May to celebrate the musical instrument that seems to get no respect, and to recognize tubists around-the-world who struggle with the ‘weight and size of their instrument’. Whoa!
• “Lei Day”, the 81st annual in Hawaii. Observed since 1928, it’s when people give one another the gift of a kiss and a lei. Hey, you gotta like that!
• “No Pants Day”, an annual prank celebration on the 1st Friday of May which is growing in popularity worldwide. The idea is to go about your normal business … without wearing trousers. The challenge is to do so while acting as if there’s nothing strange going on.
• “Mother Goose Day”, which actually honors many different writers. The term was first used in the title of the nursery rhyme collection “Mother Goose’s Melody” about 1765. The name caught on and nursery rhymes have been attributed to ‘Mother Goose’ ever since. What’s the most violent nursery rhyme? “Rock-a-Bye Baby”? “Jack & Jill”?
• “New Homeowner’s Day”. Congratulations, you’ll be debt-free in about 25 years! Got your repair manual yet?
• “Save the Rhino Day” … and trade ‘em with your friends!
• “School Principals Day”. It’s a dirty job but some militaristic Nazi’s gotta do it!
• “Telecommuting Day”, to encourage employers to develop programs for employees to work at home at least part of the time (aka ‘Work in Your Bathrobe Day’).

SATURDAY –
• “Free Comic Book Day”, an annual promotional effort since 2002 by the North American comic book industry to help bring new readers into independent comic book stores.
• “Homebrew Day”, a celebration of the joys of making beer in the basement that began in 1988.
NET: http://www.beertown.org/events/bigbrew/index.html
• “Jane’s Walk”, the 3rd annual celebration of late urban activist Jane Jacobs with free neighborhood walking tours Saturday & Sunday giving insights into urban history, planning, and design in close to 50 cities across Canada & the US.
NET: http://www.janeswalk.net
• “Kentucky Derby”, the 135th running of the 1st jewel in the Triple Crown of horse racing, in Lexington KY. An annual excuse for celebs to gather and drink mint juleps. (80 years ago in 1929 the Derby winner was named after its trainer, meaning ‘Clyde Van Dusen’ the horse won for Clyde Van Dusen the trainer.)
NET: http://www.kentuckyderby.com/2009/

SUNDAY –
• “Be Kind to Smelly People Day”. Hose them down and introduce them to hygiene products!
• “Hug Your Cat Day”, a highlight of “National Pet Week”. Um, good luck with this idea!
• “Sibling Appreciation Day”, a day to let brothers & sisters know you care. (Or maybe to add up all the times you got ratted on, your hair pulled, your dessert stolen … and get even!)
• “Significant Other Day”, sort of an anniversary celebration for unwed couples. (Meaning, the male half will forget.)
• “Two Different Colored Shoes Day”, a day to break out of the mold and be creative with footwear.
• “UNmothers Day”, an annual event a week before “Mothers Day” to honor women who’ve consciously chosen not to be mothers. It’s also “Single Mother’s Day”, celebrating those who do the work of 2 parents all by themselves.
• “Wordsmith Day”. Wow, how scintillating yet somehow egregious!
• “World Press Freedom Day”, as declared by the UN to recognize the value of freedom of expression, and the sacrifices journalists have made to attain this freedom. For instance, some 189 journalists & media assistants have been killed in Iraq since the US invasion in 2003.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

1939 [70] “Batman” debuts as a comic strip hero in DC Comics

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1967 [42] Elvis Presley marries Priscilla Beaulieu (divorce in 1973)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

1941 [68] ‘Cheerios’ cereal 1st introduced (sells far better than ‘Glumios’)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1978 [31] Steve Weldon slurps 100 yards of spaghetti in record 28.73 secs (Austin TX)

1991 [18] 44-year-old Texas Ranger Nolan Ryan pitches MLB record 7th ‘No-Hitter’ (beats Toronto Blue Jays 3-0)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Melanoma Monday
[Mon] Respect for Chickens Day
[Mon] World Laughter Day
[Tues] World Asthma Day
[Tues] Cartoonists Day
[Tues] Cinco de Mayo
[Wed] No Diet Day
This Week Is … Teacher Appreciation Week
This Month Is … International Business Image Improvement Month

BULL’S BITS


MAY DAY MAY DAY!
A few facts about May 1st …
• In ancient times today was celebrated by … getting it on in the woods! As late as the 16th Century it was still customary for the ‘humbler classes’ to venture out in at an early hour to gather flowers which they later brought home … ‘with all possible signs of joy and merriment’.
– “Chambers’s Book of Days”
• Dancing round a maypole wasn’t always merely skipping with ribbons, it was … ritual phallus worship! Afterward the dancers would ‘head for the open meadows’.
– “The Independent”
• The Victorians de-sexed the maypole by giving it long ribbons, unknown before 1830, that were elaborately plaited by dancing children.
– “Times of London”
• Since 1889, “May Day” has been officially observed in some 66 countries as a workers’ holiday known variously as “Labor Day” or “Day Of the International Solidarity of Workers”.
– answers.com
• The use of ‘May Day’ as a distress signal is thought to have developed as an anglicized version of the French word m’aidez (help me).
– madmariner.com

BS PHONE STARTER:

In a tough economy, the tough make cuts. What’s the absolute last thing you’ll hack from your household budget? Last things to go in a new poll: cellphone, cable TV, the gym membership.

BS RANDOM JOKE:

I’m defending her honor … which is more than she ever did.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to a relationship expert, THIS is the #1 thing a woman can do to drive her man crazy.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Talk about …having to talk.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Never argue with a fool. He may be doing the same thing.


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