Thursday, May 21, 2009       Edition: #4023
You’re Up to Your Eyeballs in Sheet!

This morning AOL’s has the exclusive premiere of the debut single from last night’s “American Idol” winner (NET: . . . 30-year-old “Ghost Whisperer” actress Jennifer Love Hewitt has recorded a new country tune, her first new recording since 2002 (she’s released 4 albums in Japan, where she’s a big pop star) . . . 65-year-old actor-turned-restaurateur Robert De Niro already owns more than 20 eateries worldwide, including the famed Nobu chain, and may consider snapping up one of NYC’s most famous restaurants, Tavern On the Green in Central Park (it’s appeared in numerous movies, including “Edward Scissorhands”, “Ghostbusters”, and “Wall Street”) . . . According to the UK Film Council, last year saw the highest worldwide box office for British films since records began in 2002 as the UK’s share of the global movie market rose to 15% or more than more than $4 billion (thanks to “Mamma Mia!”, “Quantum of Solace” et al) . . . 43-year-old British actress Elizabeth Hurley tells “Hello” magazine the reason we haven’t seen her in a movie since 2004 is she ‘sacrificed her movie career to concentrate on raising her son’ (BS translation: No one would hire me after 40) . . . Rumors of cancer-stricken actor Patrick Swayze’s death have been greatly exaggerated (again), causing his rep to label them ‘reckless’ (or how about ‘wrong’) . . . Thieves have broken into the home of 27-year-old former “OC” actress Rachel Bilson and stolen hundreds-of-thousands-of-dollars-worth of jewelry, designer clothing, and a collection of vintage shoes (a minuscule size 5 – don’t cha just hate her?) . . . And this week 37-year-old NBA star Shaquille O’Neal (Phoenix Suns) has begun a course at Syracuse University’s Newhouse School of Public Communications with an eye toward hosting his own radio and/or TV show when his playing days are done (wow man, get ready to take a HUGE pay cut!).

• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Green Day promotes the new album “21st Century Breakdown”.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Busta Rhymes (“Touch It”) is a guest.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Anglo-American indie rock band The Kills are featured.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – 1980s pop star Lionel Richie performs. He’s hinting that a reunion of his former group the Commodores will be announced by year-end.

• Amy Winehouse – She’s been rushed to hospital in St Lucia for the 2nd time this month. Word is she ‘fell ill’ at her rented house on the island, forcing friends to call an ambulance. No details have been offered other than she’s since been discharged.
• Pussycat Dolls – Nicole Scherzinger is planning to leave the group after they complete their current tour commitments, reports “Herald Sun”. The story suggests she wants to focus on a solo career.
• Rihanna – Her new mystery man, with whom she’s been spotted 2 nights-in-a-row, has been outed. “New York Post” says he’s 22-year-old actor/musician Aubrey ‘Drake’ Graham.
• The Who – Tonight Roger Daltrey & Pete Townshend perform a rare acoustic gig at Emirates Stadium in London in support of the Teenage Cancer Trust. Daltrey has been a longtime patron of the organization.

“Terminator Salvation” ( PG-13 Sci-fi Thriller ): This 4th film in the series opened with midnight screenings last night. Christian Bale stars as ‘John Connor’, who is joined in his attempt to defeat ‘Skynet’ by a man who’s been rescued from the past … or perhaps the future? Co-stars Sam Worthington, Anton Yelchin & Helena Bonham Carter. Cameos from the series’ original stars, Arnold Schwarzenegger & Linda Hamilton (voice-over). The biggest promotional boost came from Christian Bale’s infamous curse-laden on-set  tirade. “Terminator 5”is already scheduled for 2011.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Breaking Dawn” – “Twilight” star Robert Pattinson has confirmed that this will be the 4th film in the vampire series. Speaking at the “Cannes Film Festival”, the 23-year-old said he’s currently in the final days of shooting the 2nd film, “New Moon”, in Italy and will start the 3rd movie, “Eclipse”, in October.
• “The Dry Land” – 25-year-old “Ugly Betty” star America Ferrera is producing & starring in this drama that follows a young soldier’s difficulties in readapting to small-town life following a tour of duty overseas. Ferrera says she hopes the movie ignites discussion about the issues facing returning military personnel. Written & directed by Ferrera’s boyfriend, Ryan Piers Williams, the film is scheduled to open in 2010.
• “Martin Luther King Jr Story” – The estate of the iconic civil rights leader has authorized Steven Spielberg’s DreamWorks studio to make a bio-pic. The clergyman, activist, and Nobel Peace Prize winner was assassinated in Memphis TN in 1968 at age 39. No screenwriter or casting decisions have yet been announced.
• “The Other Side” – Lindsay Lohan has actually found work, starring in this indie comedy alongside Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi & Alanis Morissette. The story centers on a grad student who spends a summer working at a scientific institute on a remote island. There she discovers an eccentric community of characters who are hiding a secret. Shooting is set for October on an island off the coast of Massachusetts.
• “Terms of Embarrassment” – Actress Rita Wilson, wife of Tom Hanks, has written and will star in this comedy about a middle-aged couple who end up attending the same college as their son, thereby causing the kid massive embarrassment. While she has produced films such as “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” and “Mamma Mia!”, this is Wilson’s first-ever screenplay.


Scientists in Spain have discovered that the air in the cities of Madrid & Barcelona is laced with trace amounts of cocaine, LSD, amphetamines, opiates, and cannabinoids. Not that residents are going to get high on the stuff – one scientist says even if we lived for a thousand years we couldn’t consume the equivalent of a dose of cocaine by breathing the air. The researchers say the readings may have registered greater than average as the testing stations were located on university campuses. (It’s a wonder the aroma of dirty laundry didn’t foul the readings.)
– “Daily Telegraph”


Human rights activists seeking a ban on the use of loud music to exert psychological pressure on detainees in US custody are appealing to Bruce Springsteen and Eminem to join their campaign against music as torture. The effort, entitled the ‘Zero dB Project’ (for ‘zero decibels’), was launched at the end of last year by the UK charity organization ‘Reprieve’, which represents dozens of prisoners still being held at the Guantanamo Bay military prison in Cuba. (Loud music hurts but the Geneva Conventions also forbid more than 2 straight hours of Leonard Cohen.)
– Reuters

It’s fairly safe to say these insanely titled books will never get the bigscreen treatment …
• “The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories”
• “Castration: The Advantages & The Disadvantages”
• “Curbside Consultation Of the Colon”
• “Excrement in the Late Middle Ages”
• “The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America”
• “Zen of Farting”


Bad news for this year’s university grads – research shows the consequences of graduating during an economic downturn can last for up to 15 years! The repercussions can include lower earnings and a slower climb up the career ladder. Observers say the current crop of grads is facing the toughest labor market in at least 25 years. (But don’t worry, that Political Science degree is sure to set you up for something in the fast-food biz.)
– “Wall Street Journal”


It’s finally barbecue season! Here are a few hints on how to make it a healthier one …
• Bypass burgers and fill the grill with seafood and lean cuts of meat. You don’t have to gorge on fatty burgers and bratwurst just because you’re cooking outside.
• Disrobe your chicken before cooking. Or you can leave the skin on to seal in moisture, then pull it off after cooking. It will save you a load of calories and saturated fat.
• Fruits & veggies pick up an alluring new taste when grilled. Try skewering apricots, eggplant, mushrooms, pineapple, peaches, squash, zucchini. They taste good and they’re good for you!
• Grill delicate foods in foil packets. It allows you to cook all sorts of food outdoors. Let each member of the family design his or her own packet.
• Splurge on lessons. Do you know how often to flip a piece of meat and when to do it? How to tell when the food is done without cutting into it? The more you know, the more fun you’ll have.
– Condensed from “Reader’s Digest”.


Experts say that golfers who use the new generation of thin-faced titanium drivers to propel the ball further should consider wearing … ear plugs. How so? Ear specialists at the UK’s Norfolk & Norwich University Hospital say their research suggests the ‘sonic boom’ the metal club head makes when striking the ball can damage hearing temporarily and perhaps permanently. Some golfers describe the sound as ‘like a gun going off’ and have experienced  tinnitus (ringing) and reduced hearing afterward. (Other examples of golf causing deafness: “Honey, we were going out for brunch …where are you going with your golf bag?” “What?” or “Did I just see you drop a new ball on the other side of that tree?” What’s that?”)
– BBC News

Before “Mortal Kombat” came along in 1992, violence in videogames was largely unheard of or ignored because of its extreme pixelized simplicity.


1951 [58] Al Franken, NYC, US Senator-Minnesota (currently under appeal)/former talk show host (Air America Radio)/author (“Lies & the Lying Liars Who Tell Them”)/comedian (“Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot”)/former “Saturday Night Live” writer/performer (1975-80, 1985-95)

1966 [43] Lisa Edelstein, Boston MA, TV actress (‘Dr Lisa Cuddy’ on “House MD” since 2004)

1976 [33] Kardinal Offishall (Jason Harrow), Toronto ON, rap/hip-hop/reggae fusion artist (f/Akon-“Dangerous”)

1978 [31] Adam Gontier, Norwood ON, rock singer/guitarist (Three Days Grace-“Never Too Late”, “Pain”)


• “Memo Day”, a day for office workers who are tired of memos from bosses to post their own. The ultimate act is to post a memo complaining about … too many memos. (Then clean out your desk and go home.)

• “Pickle Week”, recognizing the ‘World’s Most Humorous Vegetable’. (Broccoli, zucchini, and squash are demanding a recount!)

• “Wait Staff Day”, set aside for restaurant managers and patrons to show appreciation for the efforts of servers. What we wanna know is why restaurant owners get away with paying minimal wages and then expect customers to supplement servers’ incomes.


1994 [15] World’s 1st ‘Genetically-Engineered Tomatoes’ go on sale, priced at $2.79/lb

1927 [82] Charles Lindbergh arrives in Paris, France after crossing the Atlantic aboard ‘Spirit of St Louis’ (66 other aviators had already completed trans-Atlantic flights but ‘Lucky Lindy’ is first to do it alone)

1997 [12] Then-Toronto Blue Jay pitcher Roger Clemens notches his landmark 200th career win by beating NY Yankees 4-1 (afterward, he says the big win makes him feel like a teenager … again)

[Fri] Maritime Day
[Fri] “Dance Flick”; “Night At the Museum: Battle Of the Smithsonian” opens in movie theaters
[Sat] World Beard & Moustache Championships (Anchorage AK)
[Sat] International Jazz Day
[Sun] Brothers Day
[Mon] Geek Pride Day
[Mon] Memorial Day (USA)
This Week Is … Backyard Games Week
This Month Is … Brain Tumor Awareness Month


• Hangover
• Bad Sushi
• Nine Minute Snooze
• Old Lady Drivers
• Alien Conspiracy
• Total Amnesia
• Slept
– Thanks to Eric Elbogen.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.


Each of the answers to the following clues about well-known products has a number in it …
• This hardware store product can be used to loosen rusted nuts & bolts. [WD-40]
• This is company that makes ‘Post-it’ notes and ‘Scotch’ brand tape. [3M]
• This drink is mostly made from tomatoes but also contains several other vegetables. [V8]
• How many flavors of ice-cream is Baskin-Robbins known for? [31]
• For many years, this lemon-lime soft drink was advertised as the ‘un-Cola’. [7-Up]
• This brand of haircare products is produced by the Alberto Culver Co. [VO5]
• This major American film studio was formed in 1935. [20th Century Fox]
• This blend of several fruit juices is made by Minute Maid. [Five Alive]
• For many years, this was the number of advertised products made by Heinz. [57]
• This automatic toilet bowl cleaner is supposed to last for 4 months. [2000 Flushes]
– Adapted from

Which would you rather have … a perfect body or a perfect-looking partner? (In an “Elle” magazine survey, 60% of guys say they’d rather date a woman with a perfect body than have one, but 90% of female respondents would rather have a perfect body than a perfect boyfriend.)

• ‘Shark Chum’
• ‘Old Styrofoamsides’
• ‘HMS Colander’
• ‘Crushed in the Tentacles Of a Giant Squid’
• ‘Narwussy’
• ‘El Kaputo’
• ‘Rime Of the Ancient Tax Preparer’
– Thanks to Jim Ruland


Today’s Question: THIS inanimate object causes the most injuries.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Bicycles.

An opportunist is a person who goes ahead and does what you always intended to do.

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