Tuesday, May 26, 2009       Edition: #4026
More From the Sheethouse!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Radar Online reports model Gisele Bundchen has told friends she & her NFL quarterback husband Tom Brady are expecting a baby which, if true, would be her first, his second (so far from the couple – the sound of silence) . . . Christie’s auction house had been hoping to get upwards of $15,000 in a memorabilia sale next month for a poem about a dead dog thought to have been penned by Bob Dylan, but it turns out the handwritten lyrics are actually a song by late Canadian country singer Hank Snow (oops, not even close!) . . . The good news is, country album sales are down only 3.9% this year compared to an overall decline in music sales of 13%; the bad news is, the “Hannah Montana” soundtrack accounts for almost 6% of those ‘country album’ sales . . . Movie star Scarlet Johansson is set to release a follow-up to her 2008 album of Tom Waits covers, “Anywhere I Lay My Head”, with a collection of duets with singer/songwriter Pete Yorn entitled “Break Up”, which was actually recorded in 2006 then sat on the shelf (be sure to blow the dust off before playing) . . . An LA couple who work as real estate agents are suing a writer on CBS-TV’s “CSI” for $6 million in damages, claiming a pair of shady characters on the show were named after them in revenge for a real estate deal gone bad (Mr & Mrs Shyster allege the program hurt their real estate business) . . . And Archie Comics’ official blog has confirmed that, after almost 70 years, perpetual cartoon teenager ‘Archie’ is set to get married in an upcoming issue, 5 years after graduating from ‘Riverdale High School’ and completing college (who are you betting on – ‘Betty’ or ‘Veronica’?).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Green Day appears in a rerun show.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Jamie Foxx (“Blame It”) performs.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – New “American Idol” Kris Allen is a guest, then later drops in on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Actor/country singer Dwight Yoakam is on.
• “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” – Tonight Hugh Jackman is scheduled to finally premiere the film in Mexico City. The opening had been set for April 29th but was postponed due to Swine Flu.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Black Eyed Peas – Today a new song entitled “Alive” is released on iTunes. It’s the first single from their 5th studio album,“The E-N-D”, due out June 9th.
• Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band – They’ll play 3 shows at Giants Stadium in East Rutherford NJ this Fall before it’s torn down to make way for the NY Giants’ new $1.3 billion-home.
• Coldplay – Frontman Chris Martin says being sued for alleged plagiarism has inspired him to become a better songwriter. Or at least a better thief.
• Creed – Frontman Scott Stapp says the reunited group is set to record a new album, tentatively titled “Full Circle”, to be completed within 5 weeks, hopefully for an August release.
• Eminem – His website claims a TV ad for his new album “Relapse” has been banned by censors for being too gory. The spot features a maniacal-looking Eminem submerged in a bathtub full of blood interspersed with shots of severed limbs.
• Green Day – They’re refusing to put out a ‘clean’ version of their new album “21st Century Breakdown” for Walmart to sell. The retailer has a long-standing policy of not carrying CDs with ‘objectionable language or content’.
• Jack Ingram – This week the “Barefoot & Crazy” singer is filming a guest appearance on “Army Wives” (Lifetime) in Charleston SC. The episode is tentatively scheduled to air in August.
• TI – He must turn himself in to authorities at a Forrest City, Arkansas low-security prison by noon today to begin a 366-day jail term for illegal weapons possession. A last-minute request for a 10-day delay so he could find a prison closer to his Atlanta home was rejected.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “New in Town” ( Romantic Comedy ): Renée Zellweger portrays a Miami-based consultant who is shipped out to small-town Minnesota for a new project, causing her to reassess her big-city values and, in the process, meet the man of her dreams. Co-stars Harry Connick Jr, Frances Conroy, and Rashida Jones. Partially shot in Winnipeg.
• Also released today: “Diana Krall, Live in Rio” (musical concert); “Land Of the Lost: The Complete Series” (TV); “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – Year 9” (TV); and “We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story” (animation).

YOU COULDN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP:
• A 27-year-old man in Saarbruecken, Germany told paramedics a masked mugger blasted him in the crotch in a bungled robbery but cops found a hole in his statement when they noticed the gunshot had miraculously left his pants intact. It’s then the truth came out … the loser had forgotten to put the safety on when stuffing a pistol in his pocket to impress pals. (Never try to prove your manhood or you may lose your manhood!)
– Ananova News Service
• The ‘Gastric Band’ is a restrictive girdle placed around an obese patient’s stomach to give the sensation of a full stomach after eating small meals. But fitting the band requires surgery with potential side effects, so a 35-year-old UK woman has opted for an alternative … $1,200-worth of hypnotism to convince her she’d had the surgery when she hadn’t. And it’s worked: she’s gone from 216 lbs to 151. (Wouldn’t it be cheaper just to cinch up your belt at the dinner table?)
– “Daily Mirror”
• A man heavily in debt had been contemplating suicide on a bridge in Guangzhou, China for hours when a passerby came up, shook his hand … then pushed him over the edge. The man fell 26 feet onto an emergency air cushion laid out by police and survived, suffering only spine and elbow injuries. It seems the passerby had become fed up with the suicidal man’s ‘selfish activity’ which had backed up traffic around the bridge for 5 hours. (Now THAT’S road rage!)
– Xinhua News Agency
• Spanish police have arrested 23 gang members who crisscrossed the country pulling off thefts from moving vans in a 2-year crime spree. And the moving vans were actually moving during the heists! The daredevil highwaymen used a car to pull in front of a van, forcing it to slow down; then a daring gang member would crawl down the hood of a trailing pick-up truck and leap to the back of the big rig with a suction cup device to hang on to while prying open the rear doors. The loot was then passed back to the pickup … without the van driver ever noticing! (There’s got to be a safer way to make a living in Spain … bullfighting maybe?)
– “Times of London”

LOVE POTION:
In an attempt to find the secret to successful long-term relationships, scientists have been    studying a small creature known as the prairie vole, one of nature’s few strictly monogamous species. The results of their experiments show that these fluffy little bundles secrete high levels of a peptide hormone known as vasopressin when they settle with a mate, a chemical which ‘rewards’ the brain for fidelity. Interestingly, vasopressin is also secreted by humans. (An anagram of ‘prairie vole’ is ‘I repair love’.)
– PopBitch.com

A BETTER MORNING ROUTINE:
Experts recommend these simple ways to improve your health each morning …
• Sleep an Extra 20 Minutes – Postponing your wake-up time even just a few minutes can lower your levels of the hormone cortisol, allowing you to be more relaxed during the day.
• Weigh Yourself – First thing in the morning you get the most accurate read on your weight. It can fluctuate by up to 3 lbs during the day.
• Slather on Sunscreen – For the best protection, apply it year-round a full 30 minutes before going outdoors. That’s how long it takes for the stuff to soak in and become effective.
• Bask in the Morning Light – Exposure to natural light signals your body to cut off production of melatonin, a hormone that makes you sleepy. Sunlight is also a natural antidepressant.
• Eat Breakfast Early – A hearty starter, ideally eaten within a half-hour of waking, helps avoid weight gain. People who eat a morning meal are one-third less likely to be obese.
– Condensed from “Redbook” magazine.

OWN TO RENT:
Phoenix, Arizona suffered one of the largest tumbles in housing prices for any urban area since the Great Depression. But now, after the big real estate bust, there’s a giant boom in the market for foreclosed homes. There’s an unrelenting stream of foreclosures to choose from as hundreds are offered in regular auctions in front of the county courthouse. Investors are buying up properties at discounted prices, then promptly turning around and … renting them back to the former owners. (This is how to go from an owner to a renter without ever moving.)
– “New York Times”

TOP EARNING “AMERICAN IDOL” ALUMNI:
Based on touring income, recording royalties, and endorsement deals over the past year …
5. Kellie Pickler ($2.3 million)
4. Jordin Sparks ($3.1 million)
3. Kelly Clarkson ($4.2 million)
2. Jennifer Hudson ($5 million)
1. Carrie Underwood ($14 million)
– “Forbes Magazine”

DID YOU KNOW?

• The house cat is the most popular pet in the world. More than 600 million cats live among humans worldwide. (And about a billion more in the back alleys of Europe.)
– “Scientific American”
• Only 26 people a day, on average, used Yangyang International Airport last year. Built on South Korea’s east coast just 7 years ago, it now sits empty, a moth-balled monument to overestimated demand. (On the upside, parking is now only 5 bucks an hour!)
– BBC News
• Minuscule magnets found in ant antennae may explain why the insects always seem to know where they are going. Researchers suspect the mini-magnets are a key component of a sophisticated nature-made GPS system. (Now young boys have an alternative to using a magnifying glass to torture ants.)
– Discovery Channel

BS CHRONOMETER 05.26.09


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [61] Stevie (Stephanie) Nicks, Phoenix AZ, oldies singer (“Leather & Lace”, Fleetwood Mac-“Dreams”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1998)

1949 [60] Hank Williams Jr, Shreveport LA, country singer (“That’s How They Do It In Dixie”, “All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight”)

1964 [45] Lenny Kravitz, NYC, rock singer/guitarist (“Again”, “Fly Away”)

1971 [38] Matt Stone, Houston TX, TV writer & producer (“South Park” co-creator with Trey Parker)/movie producer (“Team America: World Police”)

1981 [28] Isaac Slade, Denver CO, rock singer/pianist (The Fray-“You Found Me”, “How to Save a Life”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Blueberry Cheesecake Day”. Well okay … if we have to!

• “Bob Day”, honoring anyone with the name. Why is it they always seem to turn out to be the ultimate OK guy?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1979 [30] John Belushi & Dan Aykroyd make their final appearances as regular cast members of “Saturday Night Live” (NBC)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .

1969 [40] John Lennon & Yoko Ono begin their famed 7-day ‘Bed-In for Peace’ in Suite 1742 of the Queen Elizabeth Hotel in Montréal (on the final day, they record “Give Peace a Chance”)

1994 [15] Elvis rolls over in his grave as ‘King of Pop’ Michael Jackson secretly weds ‘The ‘King’s’ daughter, Lisa Marie Presley, in the Dominican Republic (she files for divorce in January 1996, perhaps pleading temporary insanity)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

1968 [41] 1st non-American-based MLB team, Montréal Expos, officially formed (RIP)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2001 [08] More than 2,000 people pose naked in downtown Montréal in 12 C weather for a nude group photo-shoot by NYC artist Spencer Tunick, who specializes in taking shots of nude crowds in urban centers (only 300 had been expected)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Senior Health & Fitness Day
[Wed] Sunscreen Day
[Thurs] Sierra Club Day
[Thurs] Amnesty International Day
[Fri] Jay Leno’s final “Tonight Show” (NBC)
[Fri] Phil Spector sentencing scheduled (LA)
[Fri] “Drag Me to Hell”; “Up” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Frozen Yogurt Week
This Month Is … Haitian Heritage Month

BULL’S BITS


BS REASONS A ‘TERMINATOR’ MAKES A GOOD PET:
• If it ever runs away you can be sure that it will ‘be back’.
• Much better at math than a dog.
• Built-in Xbox 360 emulator is a real money-saver.
• ‘Destroy’ is a far more impressive trick than ‘Sit’.
• Instead of annoying barking or meowing, you get memorable quotes.
• Alimony payments mysteriously disappear.
• Free wi-fi.
– Adapted from BBspot.com.

BS PHONE STARTER:

What are the possible side effects listed for the medication you’ve been prescribed? (Often they’re worse than what you’re suffering from.)

BS U-PICK PASTA TRIVIA:

• What pasta name means ‘little spindles’?
a. Capellini.
b. Fusilli [CORRECT]
c. Gnocchi
• What pasta name means ‘cooking pot’?
a. Lasagna [CORRECT]
b. Cannelloni
c. Vermicelli
• What pasta name means ‘little tongues’?
a. Cannelloni
b. Spaghetti
c. Linguine [CORRECT]
– Braingle.com

BS WHYZITS:

• Whyzit when you get what you want, you don’t want it as much?
• Whyzit that whenever you get more help at work, you get less done?
• Whyzit tourists travel 2,000 miles just to get their picture taken beside their car?
• Whyzit propane grills always seem to run out of gas when you have company over?
• Whyzit only I can prevent forest fires? Isn’t that a lot of pressure?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m telling you for the 50-thousandth time, stop exaggerating!

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: Doing THIS 20 minutes-a-day can significantly reduce your level of stress.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Cleaning.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

If it happens, it must be possible.


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