Wednesday, May 27, 2009           Edition: #4027
More Sheet For Brains!

British Kate Moss is set to reveal the scandalous backstage secrets of the fashion world by writing a novel about a young model who is catapulted to stardom (in fact, she’s hired author Louise Wener to ghost-write the book – Moss probably won’t even READ it) . . . The crew on the set of now-shooting movie “The Baster” is said to be tiring of 40-year-old star Jennifer Aniston’s dog, a 13-year-old corgi-terrier named ‘Norman’ who’s so spoiled he has his own chair near the director; special organic meals from the actors’ catering van; and his own personal doggy masseuse (no wonder no one wants a relationship with her!) . . . “Variety” magazine reports  social messaging website Twitter will be the basis of a proposed new TV series in which participants are put on the trail of celebrities in a ‘revolutionary competitive format’ (it’s “Stalking For Dollars”) . . . “Night At the Museum: Battle Of the Smithsonian” may currently rule the North American box office but “Angels & Demons” remains the international box office champ, racking up $190 million so far worldwide compared to $70 million for the “Museum” sequel . . . “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” is heading back to the bigscreen with an entirely new cast centered around the character most famously played by Sarah Michelle Gellar in the 1997-2003 TV series (it was first a 1992 movie starring Kristy Swanson) . . . 37-year-old actress Christina Applegate is urging us to sign a petition to help save her ABC-TV series “Samantha Who?” (fickle fans are already asking Christina who?) . . . And rumor has it 83-year-old Hugh Hefner is courting British billionaire Richard Branson as a potential buyer for the “Playboy” empire he founded 56 years ago, which reports say carries a price-tag of $300 million – a tad steep for a company that lost $13 million in the first quarter of ‘09 (but still, the mansion … the parties … the grotto … the babes – how about 299?).


• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Jennifer Hudson (“If This Isn’t Love”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Ciara (“Love Sex Magic”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – New “American Idol” Kris Allen.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – The Dead (formerly Grateful Dead).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – “American Idol” runner-up Adam Lambert.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Sarah McLachlan (“Don’t Give Up on Us”).


• Aerosmith – Fed up with blogs using his likeness without permission and making false statements, frontman Steven Tyler has attempted to sue. Trouble is, he doesn’t know the identity of the troublesome bloggers involved so he filed a lawsuit against ‘unnamed bloggers’. When they failed to show up in court, the judge dismissed the case.
• Bob Dylan – He & Paul McCartney are moving ahead with plans to duet together. Word has it they’ll team up in a California studio this Summer.
• Kylie Minogue – The 40-year-old Aussie/British pop star is reportedly engaged to her 31-year-old Spanish boyfriend of 7 months, Andres Velencoso. They first met at a party thrown by burlesque star Dita von Teese last October. He moved into her London home in February.
• Madonna – 22-year-old Brazilian model Jesus Luz has spoken publicly for the first time about his relationship with the 50-year-old diva, denying reports of an impending wedding and calling her ‘nothing but a friend’.
• Michael Buble – A year after his long-term relationship with British actress Emily Blunt ended, the 33-year-old crooner has once again found a steady girlfriend, 22-year-old Argentinian TV star Luisana Lopilato.
• Rick Ross – The Miami-based rapper’s ex-girlfriend Tia Kemp isn’t holding back while promoting her new tell-all book “Tia’s Diary: Deeper Than Rap”. Among her many accusations about her ex: “He’s a fake and a fraud, an abusive person and a deadbeat dad.” Ouch!


Researchers at the Center for Micro-Photonics at Swinburne University of Technology in Victoria, Australia have created a new material that may lead to discs that can store 10,000 times more data than current DVDs. They’ve increased the storage density to 1.1 terabytes per cubic cm by writing data on the material that’s layered in stacks. (What this techno-babble means to you is your MP3 player will soon be able to store every piece of music ever recorded, for which you will still refuse to pay nada … you cheap bastard!)


Recent rumors floating around online that simply are not true …
• The planet Mars will make a once-in-our-lifetime, remarkably close approach to Earth in August of this year. The truth: Not until 2287 will Mars come closer to Earth than it did back in 2003.
• Consumers can receive a free laptop from the Ericsson cellphone corporation simply by forwarding an email message to 8 friends. The truth: A bogus email purportedly circulated by the company is total fiction.
• Margarine is just 1 molecule away from plastic. The truth: While much of the negative stuff we hear about margarine is true, this particular myth is not. There is not 1 molecule of anything that you could add to margarine to turn it into plastic.
• Placing Lemon Fresh Joy dishwashing liquid in a saucer or spraying Listerine in the air will kill off all the pesky mosquitoes in your yard. The truth: Either may work on a few skitters immediately but neither has any long-term impact.


A snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 85% of women admit they have worn dirty clothes.
• 60% of employees say they’ve caught the boss playing online games while on-the-job.
• 39% of those who’ve cheated on their significant other admit they now regret it.
• 25% of office workers have a paperweight on their desks but less than a third ever use it.
• 4% of those who earn a high school diploma this year will be aged 20 or over.
• 1% of women claim they have sex every day. (They must be ‘working women’.)

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Bet Dieting’ – A new method of losing weight by betting on your own success. Participants make a commitment one of several similar websites to lose a certain amount of weight over a defined period of time. If they fail to meet their targets, money is withdrawn from their account and paid to a charity … whose views they disagree with. This ‘anti-motivator’ scheme is said to be achieving success rates of up to 85%.
• ‘Vaping’ (short for ‘vaporing’) – Using a battery-powered electronic cigarette that contains no tobacco, gives off no smoke, but delivers nicotine through heated water vapor. As yet, there is no scientific proof that ‘e-cigarettes’ are effective smoking-cessation tools but they do deliver a nicotine hit and keep your hands busy. (Can you still burn company time by lurking around outside the office entrance during a ‘vape’ break?)


This week in France the Church of Scientology is in court on charges of … organized fraud. Registered as a religion in the United States, with celebrity members such as John Travolta, Scientology enjoys no such legal protection in France and has faced repeated accusations of being a money-making cult. The group’s Paris headquarters and its bookshop are defendants in the case. If found guilty, they could be fined $7 million and ordered to halt their activities in France. (Tom Cruise is threatening to never propose in Paris again.)
– “The Independent”

• In Tampa FL, a girl has suffered the consequences of a series of bad decisions: she skipped school; was driving around while texting which distracted her so she failed to stop at a traffic light; causing her to crash her vehicle … into a police cruiser. (Wow, that’s strike 5!)
– ABC News
• In Taiwan, a groom who had too much wine & beer to drink at his wedding reception has fallen into a coma … and died. The 35-year-old insurance company employee passed out at home after celebrating at a high-end restaurant in Taipei with more than 100 wedding guests. (Today’s morality question: Should his wife be able to collect on the life insurance?)
– “Liberty Times”
• 22-year-old Kristin Georgi of Mount Pleasant PA, who became 84-year-old lumber magnate Joe Hardy’s 3rd wife after a quickie Las Vegas wedding, has filed for divorce after 5 months because … she says she can’t keep up with him. (Those little blue pills really ARE something!)
– “Curious Times”
• For its ‘Grow Your Own’ campaign, Britain’s Royal Horticultural Society is asking for donations of … clean, unwanted bras. Why? Due to their conical shape, bras are ideal containers for turning into hanging baskets. The serious message behind the ‘bra-skets’ idea is that you don’t need a lot of space to start growing your own food … just a bit of imagination. (We used my mother-in-law’s old triple-Ds to plant a pair of oak trees in the backyard.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

Researchers in Japan have identified a gene that appears to determine cyclical hair loss in mice and believe it may also be responsible for hair loss, or alopecia, in humans. Researchers at the National Institute of Genetics in Mishima think the gene, which has been named ‘Sox21′, is involved with the stem cells that form the outer layer of hair shafts. While examining human skin samples, they’ve found evidence of this same gene. (Great news … soon you can stop spray-painting your head!)
– “China Daily”

New research by the psychology department at the State University of New York at Stony Brook suggests that the single factor most likely to kill a marriage is … boredom. According to the study, couples who endure a dull, daily routine grow increasingly unhappy. The researchers found that boredom at the 7-year mark strongly predicts future unhappiness and loss of intimacy within 9 more years. Conversely, shared challenges and exciting diversions can keep long-term relationships stimulating. (Maybe your wife’s cute little sister isn’t busy this weekend?)

• Each year there are approximately 20 billion coconuts produced worldwide.
• The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.

“Getting your flirt on is the best thing in the world, but when it comes to sharing bodily fluids with a person I don’t know … no thank-you.”
– Pop singer Katy Perry, who apparently knew the girl she kissed.


1936 [73] Louis Gossett Jr, Brooklyn NY, movie/TV actor (Academy Award-“An Officer & a Gentleman”/Emmy Award-“Roots”)

1971 [38] Paul Bettany, London UK, movie actor (“Da Vinci Code”, “A Beautiful Mind”)/married to actress Jennifer Connelly since 2003  UP NEXT: Reprising his voice role in “Iron Man II”, now filming.

1975 [34] André 3000 (Benjamin), Atlanta GA, hip-hop artist (OutKast-“Hey Ya!”, “The Way You Move”)/movie actor (“Semi-Pro”, “Hollywood Homicide”)  COMING UP: “Transformers: Revenge Of the Fallen”, opening June 24.

1975 [34] Jamie Oliver, Clavering UK, celebrity TV chef (“Jamie at Home”, “Jamie’s Kitchen”, “The Naked Chef”) who’s now worth an estimated $50 million

• “Ancestor Honor Day”, a day to reflect on the contributions of those who’ve gone before us.

• “Senior Health & Fitness Day”, the 16th annual observed on the final Wednesday of May to encourage older adults to participate in health promotion events organized by over 1,000 local organizations.

• “Sunscreen Day”, to create awareness of the importance of using protection against harmful UV rays from the Sun. Medical professionals advocate the use of sunscreens with a Skin Protection Factor (SPF) of 15 or more. Some are now saying that the potent new 60 SPF is required. In any event, you should slather on the goo even on overcast days as UV rays can penetrate clouds.

1919 [90] 1st ‘Pop-Up Toaster’ (and the 1st person to try and pry out a stuck piece of toast with a knife is electrocuted)

1999 [10] Montréal engineer Julie Payette becomes the 1st Canadian aboard the International Space Station

1884 [125] 22-inch-tall ‘General Mite’ marries 19.5-inch Millie Edwards (just lookin’ for a little nookie)

1994 [15] ‘Highest Temperature Ever Produced’ in a lab … 920 million degrees F at Princeton University (almost as hot as a leather car seat on a Summer afternoon)

[Thurs] Sierra Club Day
[Thurs] Amnesty International Day
[Fri] Jay Leno’s final “Tonight Show” (NBC)
[Fri] “Drag Me to Hell”; “Up” open in movie theaters
[Sun] MTV Movie Awards (LA)
[Sun] World No-Tobacco Day
This Week Is … International Pickle Week
This Month Is … Better Hearing & Speech Month


• You haven’t blinked in 4 hours.
• You have a sudden urge to ride a donkey in the mountains of Colombia.
• You’re up to 4 heart attacks a day
• Andy Dick tells you to calm down.
• Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
• People rub up against you to stay awake.
• You’ve tweeted 200 times in the last minute, and used all 140 characters each time.
• The vampires are bouncing off the walls.
– Adapted from

Follow your dream! Unless it’s the one where you’re at work in your underwear during a fire drill.

Next time you’re heading to the movies, first check out It tells you the best times in each movie to run to the restroom without missing much of the onscreen action. For instance, during “Night At the Museum: Battle Of the Smithsonian”, the ideal time is said to be 45 minutes into the film, when ‘Larry’ and ‘Napoleon’ begin discussing relationships.

Which music act/movie star/TV star did you worship as a kid that you’re now embarrassed to admit?

Today’s Question: Married people do THIS twice as often as single people.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Apologize.


Start off every day with a smile and get it over with.

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