Wednesday, May 5, 2010        Edition: #4255

Industry observers note that “American Idol” ratings may be slipping because fan buzz among young TV viewers seems to have shifted to “Glee” (ironically becoming more popular than its ‘lead-in’) . . . Meantime, “American Idol” judge Randy Jackson has started his own record label, DreamMerchant21, specializing in dance music from the likes of “AI” alum Kimberley Locke (this could be almost as successful as his TV dance show) . . . Jordin Sparks is the latest “American Idol” headed to Broadway, the season 6 winner joining the cast of “In The Heights” for a 12-week stint beginning in August (they should retitle the show “Broadway Idol”) . . . Actress Halle Berry’s baby daddy, Canadian model Gabriel Aubry, is said to be so unhappy with the media furor surrounding his daughter Nahla following her parents’ high profile breakup he’s considering lawyering up and launching a custody battle, with the aim of taking his 2-year-old to Canada to live away from the spotlight (the mommy with the money ain’t gonna let this happen) . . . Actor Mickey Rourke admits that when it comes to “Iron Man 2” (which he’s in), he has ‘no idea what it’s about’ (the producers say thanks for the promo) . . . And 6 pages of a script purported to be for the May 23rd “Lost” finalé (ABC) have surfaced online and no one seems to know if it’s for real (we’re skeptical: The cast is somehow inexplicably dining in a New Jersey restaurant where ‘John Locke’ wanders over to the jukebox and puts on Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin” …).


• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Harry Connick Jr performs; Lady Gaga performs a pre-taped medley of “Bad Romance” & “Alejandro” for a rumored $250,000-fee; another finalist is eliminated (Big Mike is the new ‘Vote For the Worst’ candidate).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Melissa Etheridge (“Fearless Love”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Godsmack (“The Oracle”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Roger Waters (“The Wall Live” tour); New Pornographers (“Together”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Willie Nelson (“Country Music”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Court Yard Hounds (“Court Yard Hounds”).


• Chely Wright – She’s come out of the closet as a lesbian just as her autobiography, “Like Me: Confessions Of a Heartland Country Singer”, and her new album, “Lifted Off the Ground”, are released. Her biggest hit was “Single White Female” in 1999, which made it to #1.
• Jane’s Addiction – Tonight the new lineup of Perry Farrell, Dave Navarro, Stephen Perkins, and new bassist Duff McKagan debuts at the Bardot club in Hollywood CA, the first time the current configuration performs live. Entrance is free but limited to the first 100 fans in line.
• K’Naan – The Somali-Canadian rapper has been added to the line-up for the “World Cup Kick-Off Celebration Concert” June 10th in Johannesburg, South Africa. He’s recorded a version of his song “Wavin’ Flag” as Coca-Cola’s promotional anthem for the 2010 World Cup.
• Lady Antebellum – The album “Need You Now” is now certified double-Platinum and the title track has just gone triple-Platinum.
• Lady Gaga – She originally wrote her hit “Telephone” for Britney Spears to use on her “Circus” album … but Britney passed. Oops! Here’s Brit’s version …
• Lil Wayne – The incarcerated rapper is facing further legal action over his hit “Lollipop”, as little-known rapper Dirahn Gilliams claims he should have been credited for writing portions of it. (“Back it up like burp burp”, for instance?)
• Mariah Carey – She’s the first to get an iced-up iPad. The custom rhinestone-encrusted edition has been given to her as a gift from cosmetics company Elizabeth Arden.
• Miranda Lambert – She & her mom are on the cover of the “Country Weekly” Mother’s Day issue.
• Michael Jackson – Tonight in London, the dancers he handpicked for his doomed “This Is It” comeback are embarking on the “Still the King” club tour of Europe. All those taking part were featured in the concert film.


A new service in Britain called ‘Safe Text’ sends cellphone messages that self-destruct as soon as they’ve been read. Here’s how it works: Users first sign up to gain access to a special web page from where they send their safe messages. Along with the message, the receiver gets a warning that they will only have one chance to read the text before it’s deleted. The service currently offers users up to 10 free messages per day. However, it says that if millions sign up for the service, it may have to reassess the idea of keeping it free. (Most kids send 10 messages … a minute.)

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Collaborative Consumption’ – The organized sharing, bartering, lending, trading, renting, and swapping of various commodities through online and real-world communities. (In example, ‘Zipcar’ communal cars which you pick up and drop off as needed.)
• ‘Downager’ – Someone who tries to act younger than his or her age. (“I know you’re grandma’s a downager and all … but that navel ring has really gotta go.”).
• ‘Umfriend’ – A person you have ‘benefits’ with, but not a real relationship of any kind. (“Oh hi Melissa, this is my … um … friend Julia. Julia, this is my … um … friend Melissa.”)


Spanish scientists at the University of Valencia say a chance encounter with a beautiful stranger provides the same adrenalin rush as jumping out of a plane. The study finds that spending just 5 minutes with someone you find attractive is enough to trigger the release of the stress hormone cortisol. The effect is the same as the ‘fight or flight’ mechanism the body feels when in danger. If the cortisol level is too high it can bring on a heart attack or stroke. The researchers say men experience the effect most … especially if they feel the woman is out of their league. (This is why hot women are often single?)

A new study on childhood bullying by University of Michigan researchers has found some disturbing results …
• Odds of being bullied are 63% higher for an obese child compared to a healthy-weight peer.
• Obese children are picked on more, regardless of gender, race, social skills, or academic achievement.
• Obese children who are bullied suffer higher likelihood of depression, anxiety, and loneliness.
• While 45% of mothers say their children are bullied, only 25% of kids will admit it.
(Picking on the ‘fat kid’ is nothing new. What else were you bullied for?)

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 70% of women say they’d rather clean the bathroom than try on bathing suits.
• 60% of men say they’re nostalgic for the days when ‘a handshake was a handshake’.
• 39% of us are embarrassed by our middle names.
• 33% of women say they have regretted changing a hairstyle.
• 30% of us have a problem with different food items touching each other on our plates.
• 7% of single women are planning a nose job before their wedding.


According to Mary Mitchell, author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Etiquette”, there are several dos and don’ts when it comes to giving compliments. A few of the basics …
• Be Sincere – Complimenting someone just because you think it’s a good idea is a bad idea. Phoniness is easy to spot and destroys credibility.
• Be Specific – “That was a wonderful casserole” is better than “You’re a terrific cook.” “That sales research was right on target” is better than “Great job!”
• Don’t Compare – Never compare one person’s accomplishments to another’s. Compliments should be consistent with the setting and the relationship between giver and receiver.


One of the side effects of so-called ‘metrosexuality’ seems to be the affliction of men with the same unrealistic body images that women have been dealing with for years. There’s even evidence the new fashion standard has given rise to male anorexia. Next month, British mannequin maker Rootstein debuts its latest male form, ‘Homme Nouveau’, a feminized and not so beefy version with a 35-inch chest and 27-inch waist. By comparison, the average waist size of an American male in 2006 was 39.7 inches. (That mannequin called ‘Le Gut Grande’.)
– “New York Magazine”


• A female oyster over her lifetime may produce more than 100 million young.
• Kittens are born both blind and deaf, but the vibration of their mothers’ purring is a physical signal that the kittens can feel. It acts like a homing device, signaling them to nurse.
• A mother giraffe often gives birth while standing, so the newborn’s first experience outside the womb is a 6-ft (1.8-meter) drop.


1943 [67] Michael Palin, Sheffield UK, TV adventurer (“Himalaya”, “Pole to Pole”)/comedian (Monty Python’s Flying Circus 1969-74)/movie actor (“A Fish Called Wanda”, “And Now For Something Completely Different”)

1959 [51] Brian Williams, Elmira NY, TV news anchor (“NBC Nightly News” since 2004)

1984 [26] Wade MacNeil, Hamilton ON, indie rock guitarist (Alexisonfire-“No Rest”, “Young Cardinals”)

1988 [22] Adele (Adkins), Enfield UK, soul singer/songwriter (“Hometown Glory”, “Chasing Pavements”)

1989 [21] Chris Brown, Tappahannock VA, R&B/hip-hop singer (f/T-Pain-“Forever”, “Run It”)/former Rihanna abuser

• “Cartoonists Day”, kicking off “Cartoon Art Appreciation Week”, to create greater public awareness of and appreciation for the cartoon. Why today? “The Yellow Kid”, the first newspaper comic strip, was first published on this day in 1895.

• “Cinco de Mayo”, a Mexican holiday commemorating the 1862 victory over French troops at the Battle of Puebla. Mexicans everywhere celebrate with parades and fiestas. That’s likely the reason today is also called “Totally Chipotle Day”, a celebration of the smoked jalapeno pepper.

• “Hoagie Day”, celebrating the super-sized sandwich also known as a sub, grinder, hero, Italian sandwich, po’ boy, wedge, zeppelin, or torpedo. What’s the best combo?

• “International Midwives Day”, observed since 1991 in over 50 nations worldwide to recognize and honor these healthcare professionals who are experts in women’s reproductive health.

• “Occupational Safety & Health Professionals Day”. Hey guys, thanks for all the rules about the tools.

• “Oyster Day”, celebrating the mollusk delicacy enjoyed by many. (What brave soul could have first decided to eat one of these things?)

1988 [22] 1st live TV broadcast from atop Mt Everest (nowadays there are so many people tramping up and down, you could stage a concert)


1999 [11] Garth Brooks is named ‘Artist Of the Decade’ at the “Academy of Country Music Awards”


1980 [30] 1st non-British player to win “World Snooker Championship” (Canada’s Cliff Thorburn)

2004 [06] Picasso’s 1905 painting “Boy With a Pipe” sells for $104 million at Sotheby’s in NYC, setting a new record for an auctioned painting

[Thurs] Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy
[Thurs] No Diet Day
[Thurs] No Homework Day
[Fri] Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day
[Fri] “Babies”; “Iron Man 2” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Life Coach Recognition Week
This Month Is … Motorcycle Safety Month


• Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
• What if the “Hokey Pokey” really is what it’s all about?
• If a pig loses its voice, does it become ‘disgruntled’?
• If swimming is good for your shape, why do whales look the way they do?
• If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t there more happy people?


What’s your absolute least favorite thing to do? (In a recent poll, ‘attending a funeral’ was tops, followed by ‘going to the dentist’, and ‘paying taxes’.)


We tell you the star’s birth name, you tell us the assumed name we know them by. Here’s an easy one to start you off …
• Destiny Hope Cyrus … Miley Ray Cyrus
• Frances Ethel Gumm … Judy Garland
• Reginald Kenneth Dwight … Elton John
• Demetria Guynes … Demi Moore
• Carlos Irwin Estevez … Charlie Sheen
• Caryn Johnson … Whoopi Goldberg
• Declan MacManus … Elvis Costello
• Paul Hewson … Bono
• Albert Einstein … Albert Brooks
– Excerpted from “Woman’s Day”


There’s a tremendous feeling of guilt in the air. It must be getting close to Mother’s Day.

Just in time for “Mothers Day” here are some …
• Someday your face will freeze like that!
• What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do THAT, too?
• You’re going to put an eye out with that thing!
• If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times!
• Don’t put that in your mouth, you don’t know where it’s been!
• Why? Because I said so, that’s why.
• Don’t use that tone with me!
• There’s enough dirt in those ears to grow potatoes!
• Don’t pick it, it’ll get infected!
• I’m not just talking to hear myself.
• Did you flush?


Today’s Question: Use of THESE has gone up over 350% in the last year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Printable coupons.

Enjoy your life. If you don’t, no one else will.

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