Monday, May 10, 2010        Edition: #4258
Bullseye!


WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:

• Today “Project Runway” host Heidi Klum & soul-singing hubby Seal are celebrating their 5th wedding anniversary, something they’ve done each year with a renewal of wedding vows at a costume party. This year, guests are asked to dress as brides & grooms. (Whichever they prefer.)
– E! News
• Reality star Heidi Montag-Pratt (“The Hills”) isn’t done having surgery … and Ryan Seacrest is to blame! That’s according to Spencer Pratt, who claims his wife was happy with her newly enhanced F-cup rack until a visit to Seacrest’s radio show. According to Pratt, when Heidi entered the studio Ryan told her that her boobs didn’t look that big to him and she was ‘taken aback’. (That’s when she says things like, “Wha?”)
– LifeandStylemag.com
• 22-year-old actress/singer Hilary Duff’s hockey player fiancé Mike Comrie (Edmonton Oilers) reportedly grinds his teeth so loudly the couple has to sleep in separate rooms. A ‘friend’ says It makes the most awful, nails-on-chalkboard noise and Hilary is losing sleep, so Comrie has agreed to get some medical help. (Simple solution … wear your game mouthguard to bed, dude!)
– ContactMusic.com
• 22-year-old adult film star Sasha Grey is set to heat up the HBO series “Entourage”, landing a recurring role as a romantic interest for Adrien Grenier’s ‘Vincent Chase’ character. The storyline is reportedly inspired by actor Charlie Sheen’s late 1990s affair with former XXX actress Ginger Lynn. Grey will make her debut in the upcoming 7th season, which begins in June. (If they’ve run out of juicy stories from actor/producer Mark Wahlberg’s life, they could mine Sheen for about 3 more seasons!)
– TVGuide.com
• The tale of 76-year-old talk show host Larry King’s latest marriage mess just keeps getting weirder. A family friend now claims King agreed to have a baby with his wife’s sister, Shannon Engemann (46). That’s what led 7th wife Shawn Southwick (50) – who had her own affair with their sons’ baseball coach – to file for divorce. But in a strange twist, it looks like Shawn’s sibling rivalry could end up saving her marriage, as it motivated her to seek counseling. (A 76-year-old planning to have a child via a 46-year-old is just plain icky!)
– NationalEnquirer.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/A Channel) – The remaining 5 celebs perform with their partners.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Crash Kings (“Crash Kings”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Wild Light (“Adult Nights”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Wilco (“Wilco The Album”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – A week of special shows saluting the Rolling Stones’ iconic album “Exile On Main Street” (reissued May 18th) kicks off with Green Day (“American Idiot” on Broadway).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – “American Idol” castoff Aaron Kelly.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tom Petty (“Mojo”, coming June 15th).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Limp Bizkit (“Gold Cobra”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Elvis Presley – It’s been widely reported that he died in 1977 from cardiac arrhythmia, an irregular heartbeat, possibly brought on by drug dependency, obesity, and a weak heart. But in the new book, “The King and Dr Nick”, his longtime physician Dr George ‘Nick’ Nichopoulos says he’s come to believe that the actual cause of death was … chronic constipation.
• Kelly Clarkson – Her new song “Wash Rinse Repeat” is a lash-out at OneRepublic’s Ryan Tedder, whom she accuses of ripping off Beyonce’s “Halo” when he wrote Clarkson’s 2009 song “Already Gone”.
• Lady Gaga – She’s reportedly failed to return 4 of 7 pieces of underwear from Rigby & Peller, which supplies undergarments to Britain’s Queen Elizabeth. The handmade prototypes were supposed to be on loan to wear in Gaga’s next music video. The company says it needs the ‘priceless’ pieces back in time for its upcoming Fall/Winter fashion show. A spokesperson for Gaga says, “We’ve nothing to say.”
• Muse – Their brand new track, “Neutron Star Collision (Love Is Forever)”, will be the lead single off this Summer’s soundtrack to “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” (opening June 30th). The Brit band has appeared on all of the “Twilight” movie soundtracks.
• Nine Inch Nails – Trent Reznor is apparently having second thoughts about retiring the band. In a fan letter he says “NIN is not dead, I am about to work on some material that I believe will be quite different than previous NIN very soon.”
• Taylor Swift – She’s donated $500,000 to Nashville, Tennessee’s flood relief effort.
• U2 – Today Bono and fellow activist Bob Geldof guest-edit the Toronto-based “Globe & Mail” newspaper, specifically a special section devoted to “Emerging Africa”. This is the first time they’ve edited a North American paper. Bono previously guested at Britain’s “The Independent”.
• Vanessa Carlton – She’s being treated with antibiotics after being bitten by a pit bull while jogging near her father’s northeastern Pennsylvania home. The dog is now under a 10-day quarantine. Carlton is best known for her 2002 hit “A Thousand Miles”.

RECIPE FOR LOVE?
Recent research seems to suggest that couples who cook together stay together. The study reveals that 67% of men & women between the ages of 25-and-34 have cooked together at some point while dating. A third of them still cook together as often as 3-to-4 times a week after getting married. (If you ask us, too many spouses spoil the broth.)
– UPI

WAYS TO MAKE YOUR CAR LAST LONGER:

• Change the oil regularly. It’s the cheapest way to keep a car from having major problems.
• Check your tire tread. This will help you get the best mileage possible.
• Place coffee grounds in a plastic container and poke holes in the top. They’ll absorb nasty odors in your car.
• Spring for a car ‘spa day’.  If your paint has any luster left, a wax job will bring the look of your vehicle back to life.
• Buy touch up paint and fix the dings and dents yourself.
• Keep your battery clean. If there is liquid around the area, use a rag to wipe it off.
• Keep your service records. It’s a good way to make sure your mechanic is honest as well as keep on top of what fluids have to be changed, tires rotated, etc.
– Driverside.com

MOOD RING:
An Israeli company called eXaudios has developed a computer program known as ‘Magnify’ that decodes the human voice to identify a person’s emotional state during a phone call. The program monitors the call in real time and simultaneously lists the caller’s emotions onscreen. Some companies are already using the system in their call centers to measure the mood of customers. eXaudios is even testing the software’s use in diagnosing medical conditions. (The mood of customers on the line with call centers? That’s easy … ticked.)
– Discovery.com

TOP TWEETS OF THE PAST WEEK:

• Boy George: “Why hate Justin Bieber? He’s the new Donny Osmond! Leave the kid alone, bullies!”
• Drake: “When a young man complains that a young lady has no heart, it’s pretty certain that she has his.”
• Erykah Badu: “Please bring a canned good , remove your shoes at the coat check , and be naked under your trench.”
• Courtney Love: “Note to self: Never let a man throw me ever again. I can love him all I want but he can’t throw me with his insanity.”
• Blink 182′s Mark Hoppus: “I wonder if tanning salons in Arizona have seen a sudden downturn in business?”
– Condensed from Billboard.com

IF THE CELLPHONE’S ROCKIN’:

According to the recent Retrevo Gadgetology Report, 48% of those polled under age 25 say they check or update Facebook or Twitter ‘first thing’ in the morning. Perhaps more disturbing is the claim made by 25% who say they’ve taken a phone call while having sex. And 1-in-10 say they would definitely answer a text during sex. (If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, try to find a nice girl with no thumbs.)
– TP

BS WAYS TO RUIN A DATE:

A few deal-breakers when it comes to dinner dates (as if you need help screwing up, guys) …
• Telling your date regaling stories that involve strippers. (“So then the 3 of us head back to my place and …”)
• Eying your waitress. (“Whoa, nice tatas!”)
• Too much mention of ‘brodeo’. Save your banter about ‘the guys’ for a night out with said guys. (“You remind my of my friend Ed …”)
• Giving awkward compliments. (“What an interesting mole!”)
• Answering your phone, especially during dinner. (“Nuthin’. What are you up to?”)
• Paying too much attention to what she’s eating. (“So why don’t you eat meat?”)
• Forcing her to dance. (“It’s a slow one … we can clutch!”)
• Talking about your ex- (your date already hates her), your mom (are you a mama’s boy?), or your financial problems (you are gonna pay, right?).
– Adapted from Mademan.com

A NOSE FOR DIRECTION:

Researchers in Manchester, England think they’ve found the key to why some people seem to never get lost. It may be due to exceptional magnetic bones found in their noses and sinuses similar to the magnetic structures found in homing pigeons, which help them perform amazing feats of navigation. (That’s not nose hair … just iron filings!)
– PA News

BS AMAZING SPORTS FACTS:
• Major League Baseball teams use about 850,000 balls per season.
• Bill Klem served the most seasons as a Major League Baseball umpire – 37 years, starting in 1905. He also officiated 18 World Series.
• Fishing is the biggest participant sport in the world.
• Golf is the only sport ever played on the Moon. Astronaut Alan Shepard teed off February 6, 1971.
– DidYouKnow.org

BS CHRONOMETER 05.10.10


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1955 [55] Chris Berman, Greenwich CT, ESPN/ABC-TV sportscaster (“SportsCenter”, “Monday Night Countdown”, “Sunday NFL Countdown”, “Baseball Tonight”)

1960 [50] Bono (Paul Hewson), Dublin, Ireland, rock singer (U2-“Vertigo”, “Beautiful Day”)/only person nominated for an Oscar, Grammy, Golden Globe, and Nobel Prize  BS FACTOID: He took his name from a billboard advertising ‘Bono Vox’, a hearing aid store.

1965 [45] Linda Evangelista, St Catharines ON, fashion model (1 of the 5 original ‘supermodels’)/Canadian Walk of Fame (2003)/VH1 Fashion Awards Lifetime Achievement Award (1996)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Clean Up Your Room Day”. What, once a year? Were you born in a barn?

• “Trust Your Intuition Day”, a day to listen to your ‘gut feelings’ and act upon them. Is it true – are women better at this than men?

• “World Lupus Day”, to create awareness of the potentially fatal autoimmune disease capable of damaging virtually any part of the body. 9-out-of-10 people with lupus are women. 80% of new lupus cases are diagnosed among women ages 15-to-44.
NET: http://www.worldlupusday.org

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

1996 [14] Tornado disaster thriller “Twister” opens in movie theaters

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .

1963 [47] The Rolling Stones’ first-ever recording session (Keith Richards is a youngster of 57)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

1908 [102] 1st (unofficial) ‘Mother’s Day’ held, at the request of Philadelphia PA’s Anna Jarvis

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1983 [27] Lee Chin Yong performs a record 170 continuous chin-ups in Seoul, Korea

AND REMEMBER . . .

[Tues] Eat What You Want Day
[Tues] Bon Jovi “Special Edition Reissues” released
[Wed] 63rd Cannes Film Festival begins
[Wed] Limerick Day
[Wed] School Nurse Day
[Wed] Third Shift Workers Day
[Wed] Receptionists Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .

Children’s Book Week / Etiquette Week / Nurses Week / Nursing Home Week / Police Week / Reading is Fun Week / Salute to Moms 35+ Week / Salvation Army Week / Stuttering Awareness Week / Tourism Week / Universal Family Week / Women’s Health Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 17 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS RULES OF ETIQUETTE:
It’s “Etiquette Week”, a good time to review some helpful ways to be mannerly …
• When decanting wine, always make sure to tilt the paper cup.
• Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
• Though uncomfortable, say ‘yes’ to socks & shoes for your wedding.
• Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle … especially when driving.
• Do not lay rubber while driving in a funeral procession.
• Never take a beer to a job interview.
• Ear cleaning is a job that should be done using your OWN car keys.
• Even if you’re certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:

He’s seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.

BS ‘I MISSED MOTHER’S DAY’ CONTEST:

Odds are many of your listeners forgot to contact mom on Sunday. So this morning’s the perfect time to help get them off the hook. Find callers who missed “Mother’s Day”, then set up an on-air conference call with their moms. Your job is to act as mediator, offering any kind of lame excuse for your participants’ oversight.

BS PHONE STARTER:

What other names did you consider before finally naming your pet?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: 75,000 of THESE are stolen out of cars every year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Air-bags.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.


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