Monday, May 24, 2010        Edition: #4268
Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

• Today famous person Lindsay Lohan is due in Beverly Hills Court – again – and could be facing a 180-day prison sentence for violating the terms of her probation. Judge Marsha Revel was not amused when Lohan failed to show last Thursday, her lawyer claiming she’d had her passport stolen while attending the “Cannes Film Festival” in France. Online photos have subsequently been published, showing an unconcerned Lohan partying aboard a private yacht. Judge Revel is so steamed it seems, she’s postponed a planned vacation in order to handle the case personally this morning. (The mood in the courtroom is gonna be tense … real tense.)
• A new Indonesian film entitled “Little Obama” will document the childhood of US president Barack Obama from the ages of 6-to-10, when he lived in Jakarta. The child version of Obama will be played by 12-year-old actor Hasan Faruq Ali, who hails from New Mexico and also moved to Indonesia as a youngster. A childhood playmate of Obama’s says Hassan ‘has the walk and the posture of Barry’ (Barack), but the prez was a better ping-pong player. The film’s slated to be released June 17th in Indonesia, around the same time Obama is expected to visit. So far it’s unclear if the film will get a US release. (Maybe at Tea Parties?)
• Things got a bit awkward when actress Renée Zellweger recently decided to surprise her actor-boyfriend Bradley Cooper by bringing his dog to the Philadelphia set of his now-shooting movie “Dark Fields”. Golden retriever ‘Charlotte’ became ill and began vomiting everywhere – all over the set as well as Renée’s rental car. Word has it the actress remained calm and dutifully cleaned everything up, then took the pooch for a long walk until she felt better. (You know, she has the same impact on us.)
• Golfer Tiger Woods’ still livid estranged wife Elin is reportedly asking for $750 million from her philandering hubby in order to buy her silence. Otherwise, it’s a big ‘NO’ to the requested lifetime confidentially agreement that would prevent Elin from doing a tell-all or any interviews post-divorce that would reveal the dirty details of Tiger’s amorous adventures. Reports also say Elin now wants full custody of their kids after it was initially thought they’d share joint custody. Sources say divorce negotiations have ‘turned extremely testy’. (Hell’s Fury = Scorned Woman X 1,000.)
– “Chicago Sun-Times”
• 28-year-old Tila Tequila is finally seeking professional help, the bisexual reality star committing to do the next season of VH1’s “Celebrity Rehab” … if it doesn’t get canceled first. It’s unclear what personal demon Tila will try to conquer with the help of Dr Drew, but it certainly won’t be her addiction to attention. However, there’s one major catch: VH1 is having problems finding other ‘celebrities’ to rehabilitate and if they don’t sign a cast quick, the show could be killed. So far, no word on who else the show has its sights set on. (Suggestions, anyone?)
• And “Celebrity Apprentice” finalist Bret Michaels has suffered a small ‘warning stroke’. Early last week, he felt numbness in his arm, which he thought might be from rehabbing twice a day from his earlier brain hemorrhage. But when it persisted, he returned to the hospital where tests have revealed he not only experienced a stroke but also has … a hole in his heart. Both conditions are said to be ‘treatable’. (Man, this guy is snakebit!)

• “The Bachelorette” (ABC) – Ali Fedotowsky begins her quest to find true love as 25 bachelors try to win her heart.
• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – The Hold Steady (“Heaven Is Whenever”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV) – The final 3 couples perform 2 dances each.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Natasha Bedingfield (“Pocketful of Sunshine”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Damian Marley w/Nas (“Distant Relatives”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Holly Golightly (“Medicine County”); Sia (“Some People Have Real Problems”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Mishka (“Talk About”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – “American Idol” castoff Casey James.
• “Law & Order” (NBC) – Tonight the series finalé of the now-iconic crime procedural show airs after 456 episodes across 20 seasons. At it’s peak (1991-2004), the show starred the late Jerry Orbach as ‘Detective Lennie Briscoe’. Since premiering in 1990, the show has spawned 2 successful spinoff series (“Criminal Intent” and “SVU”). “Law & Order” reruns now fill 5 hours of programming on TNT … daily. Actor Richard Belzer jokes that the 2-note ‘doink-doink’ effect that airs during scene transitions is the sound of creator/producer Dick Wolf’s cash register.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Keane (“Night Train”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Paper Tongues (“Ride to California”).
• “24” (FOX) – In the series finalé, ‘President Taylor’ closes in on a world-changing objective; and ‘Jack Bauer’ (Kiefer Sutherland) tackles one last job. Who would have thought they could drag this concept out into 8 full seasons (or 8 twenty-four-hour days, if you will) since 2001? Don’t worry about suffering withdrawal … a movie is being promised.


• The Eagles – A total of 4 shows on their “Long Road Out of Eden 2010” tour have had to be rescheduled due to 62-year-old bassist Timothy Schmit undergoing unexpected surgery. The Summer leg of the tour was scheduled to finally get underway last night in San Diego CA. Concerts in Philadelphia and Hershey PA have been canceled altogether. Both were to feature the Dixie Chicks and Keith Urban. (Could the real problem be ticket prices as high as $200?)
• Kenny Chesney – He earned the most money among country artists in the period from June ‘09-June ‘10, according to a new ranking by “Forbes” magazine. Chesney’s estimated gross earnings from concert tickets, merchandise & album sales, publishing income, and endorsement & licensing agreements totals $50 million, followed by Toby Keith at $48 million.
• Lady Antebellum – Their fist-ever headlining tour will kick off September 20th with David Nail as special guest. The kick-off venue for the 35-city trek is due to be posted on their website today. In related news, Lady A’s next single will be “Our Kind of Love” from their chart-topping album “Need You Now”.
• Slash – He says he’s unhappy about the ‘lack of spirit’ in the current rock scene and claims there’s ‘nothing positive’ to talk about when it come to ‘the next big thing’.
• U2 – 50-year-old Bono was rushed to hospital in Munich, Germany for emergency back surgery Friday after an injury occurred during rehearsals. That casts doubt over the band’s upcoming tour schedule; Live Nation has already postponed the first date of the North American leg of the “U2360” tour, June 3rd in Salt Lake City, Utah.

A new Vision Critical poll conducted in Canada, the US, and the UK asks consumers their most trusted sources of information. ‘Family’ (79%) and ‘Friends’ (68%) came out on top, followed by various incarnations of the media …
7. Online Blogs … 8%
6. Online Social Networks …. 13%
5. Print Magazines … 28%
4. TV … 31%
3. Online News Sites … 39%
2. Print Newspapers … 41%
1. Radio … 45%
(That’s right, radio is the most-trusted media source for information. Time to blow our own horn!)

When men get together with their pals the main topic of conversation is not their wives and/or girlfriends or work, it’s sports. Nearly 90% of men questioned in a OnePoll international survey say they talk about their favorite teams and players when they get together with friends. Significant others come in a distant 2nd at 45% and work trails behind at 34%. And of all sports, soccer dominates most male conversations in Brazil, China, England, France, Germany, Ireland, Mexico, Russia, and South Africa – which is hosting the World Cup next month. (A lot of guys also talk about their TVs … on which they watch sports life-size.)

• Including the just-opened “MacGruber”, 11 movies have been made based on “Saturday Night Live” sketches. Among the best: The original “Blues Brothers” and “Wayne’s World” films.
• In Greece, trombonists and hairdressers can retire early because their professions are classed as ‘unhealthy’.
– “The Independent”
• 12 is the optimum age for lying, according to the Institute of Child Study at the University of Toronto.
– “Magazine Monitor”
•  Jigsaw puzzle sales reached a weekly peak of 10 million in 1933.
– “Daily Mail”
• Sextuplets are born once in every 4.5 million pregnancies.
– BBC News


1938 [72] Tommy Chong, Edmonton AB, comedian (“Cheech & Chong’s Hey Watch This”)/movie actor (“Up In Smoke”)/TV actor (“That ’70s Show” 1999-2006)

1941 [69] Bob Dylan (Zimmerman), Duluth MN, folk/rock/pop singer/songwriter (“Like a Rolling Stone”)/Lifetime Achievement “Grammy Award” (1991)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1988)

1945 [65] Priscilla Presley (Wagner), Brooklyn NY, ex-Mrs Elvis Presley (1967-73)/sometime film/TV actress (“Naked Gun” films/”Dallas” 1983-88)/Lisa Marie Presley’s mommy

1955 [55] Rosanne Cash, Memphis TN, country singer (“Runaway Train”, “I Don’t Want to Spoil the Party”)/daughter of Johnny Cash & his first wife, Vivian Liberto

1960 [50] Kristin Scott Thomas, Redruth UK, movie actress (“Nowhere Boy”, “The English Patient”)

1963 [47] Jimmy Ashhurst, Naples, Italy, rock bassist (Buckcherry-“Sorry”, “Lit Up”)

1969 [41] Rich Robinson, Atlanta GA, rock guitarist (Black Crowes-“Hard to Handle”, “She Talks to Angels”)/lead singer Chris Robinson’s brother

1982 [28] Cody Hanson, Plano TX, rock drummer (Hinder-“Use Me”, “Lips Of an Angel”)


• “Brothers Day”. If you have one, give him a quick punch on the arm … just to let him know you care.

• “Escargot Day”, celebrating the only gourmet food you can harvest off your driveway. How come we’ll eat snails but not slugs? Aren’t they the same thing?

• “Morning Radio Wise Guy Day”, honoring you dedicated fools who get up before 5 am to start the day with humor, music and information.

• “Victoria Day” in Canada, commemorating the birth of Britain’s longest-reigning monarch, Queen Victoria, on May 24, 1819. The holiday originated in 1901 after her death, as a memorial day for her role in Canada’s confederation. Along with “Canada Day” (July 1), it’s the only purely Canadian holiday that’s not celebrated elsewhere.

• “WhitMonday” or “Pentecost Monday”, a movable feast on the Christian calendar. Today in St Ives, England is the annual “Dicing For Bibles”, a WhitMonday tradition since 1675 in which children throw them bones to win themselves a copy of the good book. In recent years, the dicing has been moved from the altar to a more ‘suitable place’. (Basement bingo hall?)

2000 [10] Tom Cruise blockbuster “Mission: Impossible 2” opens in theaters, earning $93 million in its 1st week

2000 [10] 1st ‘Gay Romantic Kiss on TV’ occurs on season finalé of “Dawson’s Creek” as ‘Jack’ (Kerr Smith) & ‘Ethan’ (Adam Kauffman) lock lips (producers claim previous gay kisses on TV were ‘jokes’ and not ‘romantic’)


2000 [10] Britney Spears’ album “Oops! … I Did It Again” sells 1.3 million copies, the most-ever first-week sales for a female artist

1901 [109] 1st  annual “Victoria Day” holiday as designated by Prime Minister Wilfrid Laurier after the death of the Queen earlier in the year

1932 [78] Canadian Broadcasting Corporation is established (next day, the first layoffs are announced)


1986 [24] Montréal Canadiens skate past Calgary Flames 4-3 to capture a 23rd Stanley Cup Championship, at the time the most titles ever by a North American pro sports franchise

1988 [22] John Moschitta sets “Guinness World Record” for ‘Fast Talking’ … a blazing 586 words-per-minute


[Tues] Missing Children’s Day
[Tues] Tap Dance Day
[Tues] Geek Pride Day
[Wed] Senior Health & Fitness Day
[Wed] “American Idol” season finalé (FOX)
[Thurs] “Sex & The City 2” opens in movie theaters
[Thurs] “So You Think You Can Dance” season premiere (FOX)


Cover the Uninsured Week / International Whistler’s Week / Safe Boating Week / Week of Solidarity With People of Non-Self-Governing Territories


A highlight bit culled from 17 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• “I’m a romantic” . . . “I’m poor.”
• “You’re the only girl I’ve ever cared about” . . . “You are the only girl who hasn’t rejected me.”
• “I don’t know if I like her” . . . “She won’t sleep with me.”
• “I had a wonderful time last night” . . . “Who the hell are you?”
• “I have something to tell you” . . . “Get tested.”
• “I’ve been thinking a lot” . . . “You’re not as attractive as when I was drunk.”
• “I need you” . . . “My hand is tired.”


It’s the ‘Sarah Palin Lookalike Strip Contest’ … the name says it all.

What’s your favorite shower singing tune? Let’s hear it!


Whenever you drive, you put your life in your foot’s hands.

Today’s Question: 55% of guys admit they’ve gotten jealous about THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: The size of a friend’s TV.

Sometimes we choose the road less traveled … only because we’re lost.

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