Thursday, May 24, 2007        Edition: #3538
Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

TODAY-Monday is “Star Wars Celebration IV” in Los Angeles, the annual get-together of sci-fi nerds to honor George Lucas’ 30-year meal ticket (the original “Star Wars” film opened MAY 25, 1977) . . . TODAY a British version of “Rock & Roll Fantasy Camp” gets underway, a 6-day outing for wannabe rock stars who’ll pay circa $18,000 for the privilege of jamming with geezer rockers like Bill Wyman (ex-Rolling Stones), Jack Bruce (ex-Cream) & Gary Brooker (ex-Procol Harem) at London’s Abbey Road studios before playing a gig at the Cavern Club in Liverpool, where The Beatles got their start (NET: . . . TONIGHT the pre-taped “VH1 Rock Honors” air (VH1), with Nickelback, Queens of the Stone Age, Gretchen Wilson, and many others paying tribute to the music & influence of Genesis, Heart, Ozzy Osbourne, and ZZ Top . . . Consumer groups in Italy are lobbying to have 65-year-old Barbra Streisand’s European tour kickoff in Rome canceled due to the ‘absurd & shameful’ ticket prices (circa $200-$1,200) being charged for the JUNE 15th concert at Stadio Flamino (hmm, seems they aren’t familiar with promoter Michael Cohl) . . . A stage musical version of “The Addams Family” is scheduled to hit the boards on Broadway during the 2009-10 season (yeah, that’ll really kill as a show-stopper: “They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky, they’re altogether ooky, The Addams Family …”) . . . 41-year-old aging model/actress Elizabeth Hurley has been dumped as the face of Jordache and replaced by 33-year-old Heidi Klum, who shot her first ad for the jeans LAST WEEK with director Brett Ratner (“On the Lot”) . . . And after 15 seasons, NBC News has decided not to renew “Dateline NBC” anchor Stone Phillips’ contract (when he heard about it, Phillips did a quick head bob, turned to peer into camera 2 and gave a couple of quick blinks for sincerity, then looked down at this script in reflection).

• Clay Aiken – TONIGHT the “American Idol” alum does “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Joss Stone – TODAY she performs on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Kellie Pickler – Her trouble-prone pop Clyde Pickler has been arrested again, this time charged with larceny & obtaining property under false pretense. He was released from prison in 2006 after serving 3 years for stabbing his neighbor.
• Martina McBride – THIS MORNING she guests on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).
• Satellite Party – TONIGHT Perry Farrell’s new band does “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Sugarland – They’re inviting fans to create a video interpretation of their new single “Everyday America” and upload it at The winning entry will be featured on giant screen during their summer concert tour.

“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” ( Action Adventure ): The 3rd and final instalment of the Disney franchise (maybe) has been bumped up to an odd Thursday 8 pm opening across North America. Why? You can only jam so many people in on a Friday night. This time ‘Captain Barbossa’, ‘Will Turner’ & ‘Elizabeth Swann’ (Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom & Keira Knightley) must sail off the edge of the map, navigate treachery and betrayal, and make their final alliances for one last decisive battle. Chow Yun-Fat joins the cast as ‘Captain Sao Feng’ and the Stones’ Keith Richards does a cameo turn as ‘Jack’s’ father ‘Captain Teague’. The original film (2003) grossed more than $650 million worldwide; the 2nd (2006) pulled in over a billion. And this one??

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “A Flowering Evil” – Julia Roberts will produce & star in this drama about British wildlife conservationist Joan Root, who was murdered in her Kenyan home LAST YEAR by opponents of her environment work in the Lake Naivasha area. The film is inspired by a “Vanity Fire” article about her life and death.
• “Righteous Kill” – Screen luminaries Robert De Niro & Al Pacino will team up for this crime drama about a serial killer. The Oscar-winners have co-starred in films before, most notably “The Godfather 2” (1974) and “Heat” (1995), but this will be the first time they share more than a few scenes together. Shooting begins this AUGUST in Connecticut.
• “The Passenger” – Elijah Wood has landed the lead role in this bio-film based on the life of punk rocker Iggy Pop that will focus on his early career with The Stooges. The band recently reunited for a tour in support of their first new recording in over 30 years, “The Weirdness”. Iggy has reportedly given his blessing to the movie but will not take part in it.
• “Powder Blue” – Oscar-winner Forest Whitaker & Jessica Biel will team up for this indie film about a suicidal ex-priest and a stripper with a terminally ill son. We’re guessing it’s not a comedy. The project begins shooting in JULY for a 2008 release.
• “What Happens in Vegas” – Ashton Kutcher & Cameron Diaz are in talks to star in this romantic comedy about 2 strangers who wake up after a debaucherous night on The Strip and discover that they are married. Is this the Britney Spears story?

What’s called ‘freebirthing’, self-delivering babies at home with no drugs, no midwife, and no medical help is gaining popularity in both North America and Europe. Proponents say that for years the medical community has taken something that’s natural and tried to make it into a ‘disease’, but now women are taking their power back. Opponents of the trend believe that every mother needs at least the care of a midwife during labor & birth and those with more complex pregnancies may need a doctor as well. After all, they ask, who’s around to help if things go wrong during unassisted births? (And you can’t get over-the-counter epidurals.)
– Reuters

Along highways and railway tracks lies an often-ignored food supply … roadkill. In Spokane WA, volunteers with the Inland Northwest Wildlife Council’s roadkill recovery committee work with the Department of Fish & Wildlife and law-enforcement agencies to retrieve deer, elk, and moose that are killed or injured on area roads. Each year the program collects about 5,000 lbs of meat, which is then donated to a local mission. But rest assured, it’s healthful food because only the freshest roadkill is used. (What’s the proper wine to serve with gopher?)
– “Utne Reader”

A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … coffee can be good for you. Recent Harvard research suggests it may help ward off type 2 diabetes, and a UCLA review of nearly 400 studies finds it may protect against certain types of cancer. (And according to our study here, first thing in the morning it helps you speak in something besides guttural grunts.)
• Scientists say … when people hear the name ‘Bob’, they think of someone with a round face. Miami University researchers believe the association occurs because Bob is a ‘round sounding’ name. Huh? (As opposed to Clarence, a square-sounding name.)
• Scientists say … sleeping with someone on the first date actually increases the chance of a long-term relationship. According to biologist Barry Gibb, author of “The Rough Guide to the Brain”, sexual relations spark chemical changes in the brain which lead it to desire more love and commitment. (Gibb came up with this theory after every other pickup line he tried failed miserably.)

Search engine Google has made a commitment to clamp down on advertisements for companies selling on-demand essays to university students. Essay-writing has become a lucrative industry, with websites charging anything from $150 to $10,000 for a professionally written essay by an academic or tutor. Critics say the practice is unethical and devalues the effort of students who work hard to get their degrees. (So it’s back to doing it the hard way – paying the smart kid with the Coke-bottle glasses.)
– “GQ”

Ancient Egyptians used crocodile dung as an ingredient in a spermicide to prevent pregnancy.

• “Tell you what Simon, you get up and perform. Get up there and show us how it’s meant to be done.”
– Ozzy Osbourne in “Heat” magazine, challenging snarky Simon Cowell to put up or shut-up.
• “This is the end for now. I think everybody is exhausted and needs some time off. We’re all going to take a little break.”
– “Pirates of the Caribbean” producer Jerry Bruckheimer, leaving open the possibility that we may see even more of ‘Captain Jack’.


1941 [66] Bob Dylan (Zimmerman), Duluth MN, folk/rock/pop singer/songwriter (“Like a Rolling Stone”)/Lifetime Achievement “Grammy Award” (1991)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1988)

1945 [62] Priscilla Presley (Wagner), Brooklyn NY, ex-Mrs Elvis Presley (1967-73)/sometime film/TV actress (“Naked Gun” series/”Dallas” 1983-88)/Lisa Marie Presley’s mommy

1955 [52] Rosanne Cash, Memphis TN, country singer (“Runaway Train”, “I Don’t Want to Spoil the Party”)/daughter of Johnny Cash & his first wife, Vivian Liberto

1960 [47] Kristin Scott Thomas, Redruth UK, movie actress (“The English Patient”, “Mission: Impossible”)

1967 [40] Eric Close, Staten Island NY, TV actor (‘Martin Fitzgerald’ on “Without A Trace” since 2002)

1969 [38] Rich Robinson, Atlanta GA, rock guitarist (Black Crowes-“Hard to Handle”, “She Talks to Angels”)/lead singer Chris Robinson’s brother/Kate Hudson’s ex-brother-in-law  FACTOID: The Black Crowes are hitting the road to tour again, beginning JUNE 15th in Jackson MS.

• “Brothers Day”. If you have one, give him a quick punch on the arm … just to let him know you care.

• “Escargot Day”, celebrating the only gourmet food you can harvest off your driveway. How come we’ll eat snails but not slugs? Aren’t they the same thing?

• “Morning Radio Wise Guy Day”, honoring you dedicated fools who get up before 5 am to start the day with humor, music and information.

2000 [07] Tom Cruise blockbuster “Mission: Impossible 2” opens in theaters, earning $93 million in its 1st week

2000 [07] 1st ‘Gay Romantic Kiss on TV’ occurs on season finalé of “Dawson’s Creek” as ‘Jack’ (Kerr Smith) & ‘Ethan’ (Adam Kauffman) lock lips (producers claim previous gay kisses on TV were ‘jokes’ and not ‘romantic’)

1996 [11] Leann Rimes releases her debut hit “Blue”

2000 [07] Britney Spears’ album “Oops! … I Did It Again” sells 1.3 million copies, the most-ever first-week sales for a female artist

1901 [106] 1st  annual “Victoria Day” holiday as designated by Prime Minister Wilfrid Laurier after the death of the Queen earlier in the year

1932 [75] Canadian Broadcasting Corporation is established (next day, the first layoffs are announced)

1935 [72] 1st baseball game ‘under the lights’ as Reds beat Phillies 2-1 at Cincinnati’s Crosley Field

1982 [25] Christina Samane of South Africa gives birth to ‘Heaviest Known Baby’ – a 22-lb, 8-oz male whopper (she names it ‘Ouuuuuch’)

1986 [21] Montréal Canadiens skate past Calgary Flames 4-3 to capture a 23rd Stanley Cup Championship, at the time the most titles ever by a North American pro sports franchise

1988 [19] John Moschitta sets “Guinness World Record” for ‘Fast Talking’ … a blazing 586 words-per-minute

[Fri] Tap Dance Day
[Fri] Dickens World theme park opens (Chatham UK)
[Sun] Ancestor Honor Day
[Sun] 91st Indianapolis 500
[Sun] The Police world tour begins (Vancouver)
[Mon] Memorial Day (no “BS” service)
[Mon] Hamburger Day
This Week Is … Safe Boating Week
This Month Is … Revise Your Work Schedule Month


• Black – Dignified and impressive without being showy, black lovers want to give the appearance of mystery, but their preference for black may also indicate a suppression of desires and worldliness, suggesting hidden depths and inner longings.
• Blue – The world’s most popular favorite color is soft, soothing, compassionate and caring. Blue fans are patient, persevering, conscientious, sensitive and self-controlled. They like to be admired for their steady character and wisdom.
• Green – The color of harmony and balance, it symbolizes hope, renewal, and peace. It is usually preferred by the gentle and sincere. Greens are generally frank, community-minded people, fairly sociable but preferring peace at any price.
• Orange – The color of luxury and pleasure appeals to the flamboyant and fun-loving person who likes a lively social life. Orange people may be inclined to dramatize a bit, but they are generally good-natured and popular.
• Pink – Embodies the gentler qualities of red, symbolizing love and affection without passion. Women who prefer pink tend to be maternal. Pink people desire protection, special treatment, and a sheltered life. They require affection and like to feel loved and secure.
• Purple – These folks tend to be unconventional, tolerant, and dignified, likely to achieve positions of authority. People who like purple are highly individual, fastidious, witty, and sensitive, with a strong desire to be unique and different.
• Red – The color of strength, health, and vitality is favored by those who are outgoing, aggressive, vigorous, and impulsive … or who would like to be. Red lovers can be abrupt at times, determined to get all they can out of life, and quick to judge people and take sides.
• White – It symbolizes a desire for simplicity or the simple life. It can also indicate a desire for perfection and impossible ideals. If you are an older person, it may express the desire to recapture lost youth and freshness.
• Yellow – The color of happiness, wisdom, and imagination is a favorite of the adventurous who are searching for novelty and self-fulfillment. Yellow usually goes with a sunny and shrewd personality, with a good business head and a strong sense of humor.
– “The Healing Power of Color” by Betty Wood

What’s your favorite shower singing tune?

• What part of you body gets measured with a ‘Brannock Device’. [That’s the name of the adjustable metal instrument used by a sales clerk to measure feet in a shoe store.]
• What kind of bottle has a ‘kick’? [The indentation on the bottom of a wine bottle is named the ‘punt’ or ‘kick’.]
• Even if you’re no musician, odds are you have a ‘harp’ in your living room. Why? [That’s the name of the metal hoop that runs over the top of a lamp on which you attach the shade.]

I chose the path less traveled … but only because I was lost.

Today’s Question: Women say the average is 15 minutes; guys say less than 5 minutes. What?
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Phone call.

Weirdos are the spice of life.

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