Wednesday, May 16, 2007        Edition: #3532
Can You Believe This Sheet?

TODAY one of artist Andy Warhol’s most iconic portraits known as “Lemon Marilyn” goes up for auction at Christie’s in NYC (from a series of 13 silkscreen images of Marilyn Monroe) and it’s expected to fetch over $15 million (the anonymous current owner purchased it in 1962 – for $250!) . . . TONIGHT the new Mark Burnett/Steven Spielberg reality show “On the Lot” debuts (FOX), in which aspiring filmmakers vie for a $1-million DreamWorks studio contract (weekly ‘film premiere’ episodes air MONDAYS beginning JUNE 4th; then results episodes TUESDAYS) . . . ABC-TV’s “Grey’s Anatomy” spinoff for the 2007-08 season, centering on ‘Dr Addison Shepherd’ (Kate Walsh) after her move to LA, is tentatively titled “Private Practice” (it should be called “Troweled-On Eye Makeup”) . . . NBC-TV’s hit drama “Heroes” is also getting a spinoff, “Heroes: Origins”, which will take over the show’s MONDAY time slot during summer hiatus and focus on characters not yet introduced . . . Billionaire author JK Rowling says her 7th ‘Harry Potter’ book (“Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows” due JULY 21st) may not be the last in the series after all – she’s considering an 8th that would include extra material not used in the series, with all proceeds going to charity (“Harry Potter & The 500 Pages of Leftovers”) . . . Sylvester Stallone has pleaded guilty in a Sydney, Australia court to bringing banned muscle-building hormones into the country back in FEBRUARY, and is now facing a penalty up to $18,500 on each charge . . . According to “Maxim” magazine’s 8th annual ‘Hot 100′ list, 2007’s hottest woman in the world based on buzz & beauty is – Lindsay Lohan (huh?) . . . The infamous ‘Sheriff Joe’ Arpaio, who runs the controversial ‘Tent City’ prison facility outside Phoenix AZ where inmates are forced to wear striped uniforms, pink underwear, and serve in chain gangs, says he’s spoken to LA officials about taking Paris Hilton off their hands for her upcoming 45-day sentence and they’re actually considering the offer because of severe overcrowding . . . And a backlash to the ‘Free Paris’ petition has popped up online, a ‘Jail Paris Hilton’ petition that urges she serve her full sentence, and it’s proven to be the more popular – enticing well over 60,000 signatures so far (NET:

• Avril Lavigne – TODAY she appears on both “The View” (ABC/CTV), and “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Beyoncé – Fashion house Armani has signed her as the face of its new fragrance, Emporio Armani Diamonds, for both print & TV ads. The new scent is due in stores THIS FALL.
• Gretchen Wilson – TONIGHT she performs “One Of The Boys” on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• Joss Stone – TONIGHT she’s on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Master P – The gangsta rapper-turned-music impresario is launching No Limit Records, a new record label for ‘street music without offensive lyrics’. No sexist or misogynist content allowed!
• Modest Mouse – TONIGHT they guest on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Pink – She’s become so taken with Australia while touring there that she & her husband, motocross champ Carey Hart, are considering buying a home in Sydney or Melbourne.
• Rolling Stones – Keith Richards so impressed Johnny Depp with his acting skills on the new “Pirates Of The Caribbean” movie, he dubbed him ‘Two-Take Richards’. Keith plays ‘Captain Jack Sparrow’s father and the cast & crew were amazed at his natural acting chops.
• Silversun Pickups – TONIGHT they’re on “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” (NBC).
• Snow Patrol – The Northern Irish rockers have just parted company with their manager, Jazz Summers, who is credited with masterminding the band’s rise to fame over the past 5 years. Let the lawsuits begin!

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Password Fatigue’ – Mental exhaustion and frustration caused by having to remember a large number of passwords.
• ‘VBS’ (‘Visible Bra Straps’) – A new poll finds 57% of women think it’s THIS SUMMER’s worst fashion faux pas. A third claim it ‘looks cheap’. Even 42% of men say it’s unattractive. When it comes to VBS, Britney Spears is a repeat offender … if she’s even wearing a bra, that is.
• ‘Wall Wart’ – The transformer on the end of a power cord that connects to an electronic gadget. Anyone who has tried to plug more than one into an electrical outlet knows the problem … wall warts are so big they at least partially block the adjoining socket, making it impossible to use.

New  Harvard School of Public Health research suggests that teens who drink a pint or more of milk a day are almost 50% more likely to develop acne than those who rarely or never drink milk. It is thought that hormones that occur naturally in milk contribute to making skin greasy and blocking pores. And processing milk to make low-fat versions seems to raise the levels of the hormones, making the situation worse. So now kids, you gotta not only give up chocolate and fried food, but milk as well. (Apparently all food is bad for you in some way.)
– “Daily Mail”

• Is this the world’s worst job? Four workers cleaning an 18-foot fish feces filtration tank at the Australis Aquaculture fish farm in Turners Falls MA were airlifted to hospital after a tank support broke and they fell into the poop where they became trapped … for 45 minutes. All four have since recovered. (However, no one will go within 50 feet of them.)
– AP
• A Chinese grandmother who went to hospital with a headache has been found to have a bullet in her head … for 64 years. 77-year-old Jin Guangying of Shuyang remembers that she was shot in 1943 during WW2 by the invading Japanese army. The surgeon who removed the rusty bullet says he’s amazed it remained there so long without causing major problems. (You’d think she would have noticed the extra navel in her forehead.)
– Ananova News
• A court in Hamburg, Germany has awarded thousands in damages to soccer stars whose names were used to sell … vibrators. The players, Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn, sued adult toy manufacturer Beate Uhse after it marketed special-edition vibrators bearing the names ‘Michael B’ and ‘Olli K’ without permission. The court awarded $67,000 to each player. (After they successfully proved they’d been royally screwed … er, screwed out of royalties.)

Scientists at Britain’s Sheffield University have developed artificial plastic blood which can be used as a substitute in emergencies. The researchers say their creation could be very useful to EMS workers and the military because it’s light to carry, does not need to be kept cool, and can be preserved longer. The fake blood is made of plastic molecules that have an iron atom at their core, which conveys oxygen throughout the body. The artificial blood is expected to be cheap to produce. (And won’t require bribing donors to attend clinics by offering free cookies.)
– BBC News

A new online poll asks when great artists came up a tad short. The top (bottom?) 5 …
cites great artists for coming up short
5. The Clash – “Cut the Crap”
4. Van Morrison – “Beautiful Vision”
3. David Bowie – “Tonight”
2. The Rolling Stones – “Dirty Work”
1. Bob Dylan – “Down In the Groove”
– “Rolling Stone”

Japanese motorists may one day pump their cars full of sake, the fermented rice wine that is Japan’s national drink, if a University of Tokyo pilot project to create bio-fuel is successful in the mountain resort of Shinanomachi. The government-funded effort will produce cheap rice-origin ethanol brew with the help of local farmers who will donate farm waste such as rice hulls. Japan is currently the world’s 2nd-largest-gasoline consumer after the USA. A liter of gas in Japan sells for around 135 yen per liter, about $1.23 CDN. the equivalent of $4.25 per gallon. (Things are looking grim when it’s cheaper to fill up on cocktails than gasoline.)
– Reuters

The new “Guinness Book of World Records” title for ‘Tiniest Dog’ is being battled over by a pair of Chihuahuas: A 1-year-old from Leesburg FL called ‘Dancer’ that measures just 4-inches-tall; and ‘Chiqulla’ from Valley Cottage NY who’s just 3.5-inches tall, but she’s only 5-months-old and may not be finished growing. She’ll have to wait until DECEMBER when she has her 1st birthday to officially claim the title. (We have rats bigger than that in the station basement!)
– “New York Post”

It wasn’t until the 20th century that people decided dandelions were a weed. Before the invention of lawns, they were more likely to be praised as a great source of food and medicine than destroyed. In fact, gardeners used to weed out the grass to make room for the dandelions.
– “New York State Conservationist”

“I can’t do a Mandy Moore kind of movie, a chick flick. I have to do a ‘Girl, Interrupted’.”
– Pop singer Avril Lavigne, overestimating her acting skills to the Australian press. So far her total onscreen time in movies amounts to about a minute-and-a-half.


1953 [54] Pierce Brosnan, Drogheda, Ireland, movie actor (“The Matador”, former ‘James Bond’-“Die Another Day”, “Tomorrow Never Dies”)  UP NEXT: Plays ‘Sam Carmichael’ in the bigscreen version of the musical “Mamma Mia!”, coming in 2008.

1954 [53] Dafydd (Dave) Rhys-Williams, Saskatoon SK, NASA space shuttle astronaut (STS 90)

1964 [43] Boyd (‘BT’) Tinsley, Charlottesville VA, alt-rock musician (Dave Matthews Band-“Where Are You Going”, “Crash Into Me”)

1966 [41] Janet Jackson, Gary IN, pop singer (“Call on Me”, “All For You”)/9th and youngest child in the dysfunctional Jackson family

1969 [38] David Boreanaz, Buffalo NY, TV actor (‘Special Agent Seeley Booth’ on “Bones” since 2005, “Angel” 1999-2004, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” 1997-99)

1973 [34] Tori Spelling, Beverly Hills CA, TV personality (“Tori & Dean: Inn Love” 2007, “Dancing With the Stars” 2007, “Beverly Hills 90210” 1990-2000)/married to Canadian actor Dean McDermott (2006)

• “Biographers Day”, a day to start reading or writing a biography. What would you call yours?

• “Canada-Wide Science Fair”, the 26th annual all THIS WEEK in Truro NS, displaying over 400 projects from students across the country at the Nova Scotia Agricultural College & Nova Scotia Community College. So what’s the weirdest science on display?
PHONER: 902.896.5500 (Steve Karrel)/902.896.5540 (Michael Price)/902.485.7960 (Chris Boulter)

• “Cannes Film Festival 2007”, attracting show biz glitterati to the French Riviera through MAY 27th.  Founded in 1939, it’s widely considered the world’s most prestigious film fest. Movies competing for this year’s Palme d’Or grand prize include Quentin Tarantino’s “Death Proof” (his half of the “Grindhouse” double feature); Wong Kar Wai’s “My Blueberry Nights”, starring Norah Jones, Jude Law, and Natalie Portman; and director David Fincher’s recent serial killer story, “Zodiac”. Non-competition films expected to attract attention include “Ocean’s 13”; Michael Moore’s new documentary “Sicko”; and “A Mighty Heart”, starring Angelina Jolie.

• “Employee Health & Fitness Day”, observed annually on the 3rd WEDNESDAY in MAY to promote the benefits of physical activity in enhancing the overall health & productivity of    organizations. Founded in 1989, it has now enlisted tens-of-thousands of participants from employers around-the-world.

• “Wear Something Purple for Peace Day”, the first intergalactic holiday, as declared by a wacko group called ‘The Moderns’ who contend aliens will not communicate with Earth due to our violent nature. The goal of this observance is to make the world a peaceful place and thereby encourage alien species to make contact.

1929 [78] The “Academy Awards” are inaugurated in Hollywood CA (“Wings” wins ‘Best Picture’)

2002 [05] “Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones” opens in movie theaters

2000 [07] Prince tells a press conference he will go back to using his name instead of the unpronounceable symbol he adopted to ‘free himself from undesirable contracts’

1866 [141] 1st ‘Root Beer’ is marketed (Charles Elmer Hires)

1891 [116] ‘Spam’ is introduced by Geo A Hormel & Co (pink goo in a can)

1965 [42] ‘Spaghetti-Os’ arrives on stores shelves (even ickier pink goo in a can)

[Thurs] Pack Rat Day
[Fri] Visit Your Relatives Day
[Fri] International Museum Day
[Fri] Bike to Work Day
[Fri] “Shrek the Third” opens in movie theaters
[Sat] World premiere celebration of “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” (Disneyland CA)
[Sat] FA Cup Final (Wembley UK)
[Sat] US Armed Forces Day
[Sat] 2007 Preakness Stakes (Baltimore MD)
This Week Is … Dog Bite Prevention Week
This Month Is … Allergy & Asthma Month


• The only thing in the whole wide world that’s good for you is pork.
• ‘Vitamin E’ should actually be called ‘Vitamin F’ but the capsule manufacturers had already printed up the labels for it.
• Rogaine makes a real zesty salad dressing.
• If you cut a human in half, each half regenerates into a whole ‘nother human being.
• Pistachio nut shells have more nutrition than the actual pistachios themselves.
• Margarine is neither good nor bad for you. They just change the findings every few years to mock your intellect.
• Every bite you take into a celery stick brings you one day closer to your grave.
• The appendix, once believed to have no significant function, in actuality regulates the human body’s ability to tolerate visiting in-laws.
• The more beer, the better.

Should you ever lend money to a friend for plastic surgery?

Today’s Question: The average guy today has less of THIS than the average guy did 20 years ago.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Testosterone.

The real world is a figment of our lack of imagination.


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