Monday, May 14, 2007        Edition: #3530
It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet … Ahhhh!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Jennifer Lopez is reportedly receiving death threats that are believed to come from militant animal rights nuts enraged by her wearing (not to mention selling) furs and animal skins. The letters have been sent directly to her home and she’s afraid for her life, so frightened apparently that hubby Marc Anthony has had her security entourage scheduled to work around-the-clock.
– “News of the World”
• Terrified Paris Hilton is said to be taking self-defense classes so she can protect herself from violent inmates in jail. She’s purportedly asked her personal trainer to help toughen her up after receiving chilling threats on her Website, including: “We’re going to get you” and “I’m gonna kill you”. Apparently inmates have free Internet access and lots of time to e-mail their hostility.
– “The Sun”
• Pamela Anderson says she won’t be attending the world premiere of her new movie “Blonde & Blonder” at the annual “Cannes Film Festival” which kicks off THIS WEEK. Anderson stars alongside Denise Richards in the comedy which was written by her brother Gerry Anderson. Pammy says she & her brother always dreamed of making silly movies together – but in the backyard for their parents – so this is exciting. Apparently not exciting enough to entice her to France though. She says she’s having her own premiere with her kids, in bed with popcorn.
– “Contact Music”
• “My Name is Earl” star Jaime Pressly gave birth to a baby boy on FRIDAY in Los Angeles. She & fiancé Eric Cubiche named the baby Dezi James. Well, thank goodness it wasn’t one of those wacky show biz names!
– TMZ.com
• Model Naomi Campbell, who never knew her father, says her mother has agreed to go into therapy with her. It seems Naomi largely grew up on her own because her mom, a ballet dancer, had to leave her daughter at home with a nanny much of the time until she was 12. Ah, now we see where all the anger comes from!
– “W Magazine”
• Filmmaker George Lucas is so interested in enticing Sean Connery into appearing in the new “Indiana Jones” film, he’s had him written him into the script without the actor yet agreeing to appear in the movie. Lucas, who has secured Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, and Shia Labeouf for the series’ 4th instalment, is willing to rewrite the story if Connery refuses to reprise his role from 1989s “Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade”, but he’s still hoping he can convince the recently retired actor to appear.
– “Daily Star”

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Big & Rich – TODAY they’re hosting the “ACM Poker Tournament” at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. A limit of 100 players will compete and help rack up some chips for charity.
• Bucky Covington – TONIGHT the former “American Idol” finalist performs his country hit “A Different World” on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Coldplay – Bassist Guy Berryman has separated from his wife just 6 months after the couple celebrated the birth of their 1st child.
• Elvis Costello & the Imposters – TONIGHT they perform an exclusive Webcast concert for “Late Show With David Letterman” that will be streamed live on CBS.com at approximately 8:25 pm ET. The band’s appearance on the show will be broadcast MAY 18th.
• Kelly Clarkson – TODAY she’s on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Miranda Lambert – TONIGHT she’s on the “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Sheryl Crow – She’s just picked up the must-have Hollywood accessory … an adopted kid. She’s named the 2-week-old American-born boy ‘Wyatt’, after her father.
• Taylor Hicks – It seems today is “American Idol” alumni day. TONIGHT LAST SEASON’s winner performs on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SCHED:
• Brian May & Roger Taylor of the classic rock group Queen are planning to turn TONIGHT’s 5th anniversary of the stage musical “We Will Rock You” in London into a star-studded affair by attending the show’s birthday party at the Dominion Theatre and dragging along the glitterati.
• A day ahead of the annual “ACM Awards”, the Academy of Country Music is hosting a new artist showcase in Las Vegas. The nominees for ‘Top New Male’, ‘Top New Female’, and ‘Top New Duo/Vocal Group’ will perform, including Craig Morgan, Chris Young, Heartland, Kellie Pickler, Little Big Town, Miranda Lambert, Rodney Atkins, Taylor Swift, and the Wreckers.

TOWARD FRESHER FOOD:
The average piece of produce travels more than a thousand miles before it lands on a supermarket shelf. Usually, we have no idea where our food comes from and even less of an idea about the conditions under which it was produced. That’s part of the reasoning behind the new push for ‘localtarianism’, the movement to not only eat organic food but locally-grown food whenever possible. It’s fresher because it spends less time between farm and table and is therefore more nutritious. You also end up supporting your local economy.
– “ Science & Spirit Magazine”

HONEY VS VINEGAR:
A recent study published in the “Journal of Experimental Social Psychology” makes it official: Constantly nagging someone to do what you want doesn’t work, as the person you are harassing will automatically rebel in order to assert their autonomy. And the more controlling you are, concludes the study, the more the individual will do exactly the opposite of what you want. (So [co-host], whatever you do don’t be rushing out to get me coffee this morning.)
– ABC News

QUIT BUYING STUFF ALREADY!
There’s been a lot of talk recently about ‘ethical consumerism’, the idea of buying green products and ‘fair trade’ products that help local economies. Environmentalist Jess Worth says the problem with the concept is that it’s an oxymoron. The very definition of the word ‘consume’ is ‘to cause to vanish’, so a ‘consumer’ is ‘a person who squanders, destroys, or uses up’. Worth says it’s consumerism that’s destroying the planet, so sometimes the most ethical shopping choice you can make is to buy … nothing. (It all goes back to the ‘3 Rs’ … reduce, reuse, recycle.)
– “New Internationalist”

DRUNKS AIN’T FUNNY:
Scientists have just managed to prove what stand-up comedians have known for years – alcoholics have trouble understanding jokes. In controlled experiments, German neuro-scientists showed a group of alcoholics and a group of healthy control subjects the set-up to a joke and then a choice of punch lines, only one of which made any sense and was legitimately funny. 92% of the teetotalers chose the correct punchline, compared to just 68% of the boozers. (Does this prove that Jay Leno is an alchy?)
– “Scientific American”

HOW TO TALK TO BABIES:
Some advice from language experts …
• When your baby makes babbling noises, pay attention and make eye contact. Respond with real words such as ‘I agree’. This teaches the baby that conversation is a back-and-forth thing.
• Instead of baby talk, use normal sentences like ‘Here’s your bottle’.
• Speak softly in what researchers call ‘parentese’. That’s the soft, high-pitched, loving tone that babies understand more easily.
• Read to your baby. It’s a great way to bond and helps develop listening ability and vocabulary.
– “Newsweek”

WHEN IN JAPAN, BRING SOME CHANGE:
When it comes to vending machines, the Japanese are voracious. According to the Japan Vending Machine Manufacturers’ Association, there are 5.51 million machines in the country, or about 1 for every 23 people. And the variety of products you can pull out of them is seemingly endless; everything from hot stew to farm-fresh eggs to vegetables to DVD rentals. Why are machines so popular? Observers say the Japanese have a yen for automation because they like to purchase things without having to talk to people. (After doing the drive-thru to get coffee this morning, that’s understandable.)
– “Japan Times”

WHAT YOUR TOADIES CAN TELL YOU:
People read palms so why not toes? KC Miller, a certified reflexologist and author of the book, “Toe Reading: Are You Walking Your Destined Path?”, claims to be is a ‘scientific’ toe reader. According to her, here’s what your toes tell about you …
• The big toe is your ‘ether toe’ or ‘destiny toe’.
• The 2nd toe is your ‘air toe’, which tells about communication.
• The middle toe is all about fire; it’s your ‘do it or don’t do it’ toe.
• The 4th toe is the ‘water toe’, which reflects on your relationships.
• And the pinkie toe is the ‘earth toe’, telling stories of trust on the left side, and prosperity on the right.
All this talk of toes is nothing new; the technique was purportedly developed by the ancient Egyptians. To get a modern toe read from Miller in an online consultation, you’ll have toe the line and pay $65. (But we’re guessing she’ll do a phone job for you free to get the publicity.)
PHONER: 480.994.9244 (Southwest Institute of Healing Arts)
NET: http://toereadingonline.com/
– “Hartford Courant”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• A former park ranger by the name of Roy Sullivan holds the record for surviving the most lightning strikes … 7 of them! But he eventually committed suicide, reportedly after being rejected in love. (Awww!)
• North Americans chew 10 million pounds of gum per year. (Most of which can now be found under seats at the movies.)
• About 1 in 6 people are fingernail-biters. (The good news is … most bite their own.)

SHE SAID IT:
“Even if I wanted to be anorexic, I just don’t have what it takes. After 4 hours of being anorexic, I’d be like, ‘It’s been 4 whole hours! Feed me!’”
– “Ugly Betty” star America Ferrera, who likes her curvy figure.

THE BULL SHEET 05.14.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [63] George Lucas, Modesto CA, really rich filmmaker (“Star Wars” series, “Indiana Jones” series)  FACTOID: In his honor, geeks have declared TODAY “Star Wars Day”.

1952 [55] David Byrne, Dunbartin, Scotland, classic rock singer (Talking Heads-“Burning Down the House”)/composer (Oscar-“The Last Emperor”)

1969 [38] Cate Blanchett, Melbourne, Australia, movie actress (“Hot Fuzz”, “Babel”, 2005 Oscar-“The Aviator”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Dance Like A Chicken Day”. Everybody now: “Dadda dadda dadda dah, dadda dadda dadda dah, dah dah dah dah …”

• “Help Clean Up Your Street Day”. (So [co-host], guess you’re moving, are you?)

• “International Online Romance Day”, a day to fall in love in a chat room … with who knows what.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1998 [09] Final episode of “Seinfeld” airs on NBC-TV (90 minutes of Jerry counting his money)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1998 [09] Celebrated crooner Frank Sinatra dies in a Los Angeles hospital at age 82

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1874 [133] 1st ‘Admission Charge’ and 1st ‘Goal Posts’ used in a football game (Harvard University beats Montréal’s McGill University 3-0)

1904 [103] 1st time Canada competes in Olympics and Montréal policeman Etienne Desmarteau wins the hammer throw for Canada’s 1st Olympic medal (St Louis MO)

1993 [14] 1st pro sports team to wear ‘Designer Uniforms’ (NBA’s Charlotte Hornets [now in New Orleans] don a stylish ensemble of a sleeveless pinstriped teal shirt and breezy pleated shorts by Alexander Julian)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1991 [16] ‘World’s Largest Burrito’ weighs in at 1,126 lbs (later causes a reaction measuring 6.3 on the Richter scale)

2003 [04] 50-year-old golfer Vinenzo Frascella finishes his round at Orton Meadows Golf Course in Peterborough UK despite being hit by lightning – TWICE within 30 minutes (refuses to divulge his shocking score, but says it was a ‘stinker of a day’)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] 42nd ACM Awards (Las Vegas)
[Wed] Biographers Day
[Wed] Employee Health & Fitness Day
[Wed] Wear Purple For Peace Day
[Wed] 2007 Cannes Film Festival begins
[Thurs] Pack Rat Day
[Fri] International Museum Day
[Fri] Bike to Work Day
[Fri] “Shrek the Third” opens in movie theaters

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Alcohol & Other Drug-Related Birth Defects Week / Art Week / Bike Week / Educational Bosses Week / Historic Preservation Week / Police Week / Public Relations Week / Public Transportation Week / Raisin Week / Reading is Fun Week / Running & Fitness Week / Salvation Army Week / Stuttering Awareness Week / Women’s Health Week / Work At Home Moms Week /  World Trade Week

BULL’S BITS

BS ‘CHICKEN & EGG GAME’:
Which came first …
• Mothers Day or Fathers Day? [1st official Mother’s Day celebrated in 1914. Father’s Day became common in 1924.]
• The used car dealer or lemonade? [Lemonade goes way back; it was a favorite of Chinese Emperors. 1st used car dealer didn’t come along until the Motor Car Co of London in 1897.]
• The skyscraper or ‘Spider-Man’? [1st skyscraper: Chicago’s 10-story Home Insurance Co Building, completed in 1885. 1st “Spider-Man” comic published by Marvel in 1962.]
• The inch or the centimetre? [The inch was first described by the Romans to mean one-twelfth of the length of a human foot. In 1305, King Edward I decreed that an inch should be the measure of 3 dried barleycorns. The metric system wasn’t developed until 1795 in France.]
• The match or the cigarette lighter? [Surprisingly, it’s the cigarette lighter, invented in 1816 by a German chemist. The friction match didn’t arrive until 1827.]
• Alka-Seltzer or the restaurant? [1st place known as a ‘restaurant’ was the Champ d'Oiseau, which opened in Paris in 1765. Alka-Seltzer wasn’t marketed until 1931.]

BS TRIVIA:
Q: In what popular playground game would you use a ‘taw’?
A: The term is actually used in 2 games: It’s the marble used as a ‘shooter’ in the game of marbles, and also the disc or stone tossed on squares in hopscotch.
– “Webster’s College Dictionary”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
What do you get if you cross a robot with a pirate? Arrrrrrgh 2D2.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Women on average have about 3% more of THIS than men.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Intelligence.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A dog is the only thing on Earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

BS BOUNTY HUNTERS!
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