Wednesday, May 9, 2007        Edition: #3527
Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘N Fresh!

TODAY through May 19th the inaugural “High Line Festival”, a 10-day mash-up of music, film, comedy, visual art & performance curated by David Bowie, takes place in a new public park built on an elevated railway line in west Manhattan, featuring French electronica duo Air, Montréal indie rockers Arcade Fire, Bang on a Can All-Stars, Deerhoof, and other emerging acts (NET: . . . LAST NIGHT’s episode of “Law & Order: Criminal Intent” (NBC/CTV), starring Kristy Swanson as a former stripper-turned-model who mysteriously dies just days after her young son, required 3 hairdressers, 3 make-up artists, 4 wardrobe specialists, and a host of others to get the ‘Anna Nicole’ look just right . . . Warner Bros is set to ban all preview screenings of its movies in Canada in an attempt to clamp down on the ‘rampant film piracy’ here (hmm, so much for those exclusive premieres for radio station winners) . . . An LA Superior Court judge has decided David Hasselhoff can only phone his kids until a MAY 21st hearing decides how that leaked 3-month-old video (2-weeks-old, according to his ex-) showing him growling obscenities at his teen daughter will affect his long-term visitation rights (these days, custody battles are fought less in court and more on YouTube) . . . Word is Paris Hilton could break out of her 45-day jail sentence 6 days ahead of schedule if she’s eligible for a ‘Good Time/Work Time’ credit, but she MUST serve 39 days minimum . . . Meantime, Hilton’s lawyer has filed notice with the court that her 45-day jail sentence will be appealed, a formal notification that does not offer any grounds for the appeal (stalling technique #1 of many more to come) . . . And the rumor just won’t die that Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie (in Prague to shoot her next movie “Wanted”) have been regularly enjoying steamy threesomes with 23-year-old, 5 ft-11 in Czech fashion model Karolina Kurkova (as if 2 of the world’s most beautiful sharing the sack isn’t enough!).

• Aqualung – TONIGHT the “Pressure Suit” singer (real name Matt Hales) performs on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• Blake Shelton & Miranda Lambert – The country singing couple insists they love to spend time … apart. Shelton says the romance would be a disaster if they spent more time together. Haven’t they heard? Absence makes the heart go wander.
• Christina Milian – The “Dip It Low” singer claims she’s been asked to appear on “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) but has declined … because her professional dancing skills would give her ‘an unfair advantage’. That’s right, she won’t participate because she might win.
• George Michael – YESTERDAY he pleaded guilty to ‘Driving While Unfit Due to Drugs’ on the 1st day of his London trial. The 43-year-old blamed ‘tiredness and prescribed drugs’ for the offence. In other words, he did it but it wasn’t his fault. His sentence has yet to be decided.
• Jessica Simpson – The pseudo-actress/wannabe singer’s size 7, four-and-a-half-inch heel boots from her embarrassing video “These Boots Made For Walkin’” are up for bid on eBay, with proceeds going to Sole4Souls, a charity which provides shoes to the needy. Hurry, bidding ends SUNDAY!
• Justin Timberlake – He claims he’s returned to his Tennessee roots by writing & producing a new country song for Reba McEntire. “The Only Promise That Remains” is dedicated to his country-fan grandfather. Meantime, word has it Madonna has become so impressed with JT as a songwriter, she’s invited him to spend the summer in London working on further tracks for her next album.
• Michael Buble – His girlfriend,  British actress Emily Blunt (“The Devil Wears Prada”), says she hates hearing her attempts at singing. She does backup vocals on “Me & Mrs Jones”, a track on his new album, “Call Me Irresponsible”.
• Taylor Swift – Her debut single “Tim McGraw” has just been certified digital gold for more than 100,000 legal downloads.

Cutting edge vocab …
• ‘Biopassword’ – A newly developed security software that records a computer user’s keyboarding rhythm, something that’s said to be as unique as a fingerprint. After recording 9 samples of an individual’s typing, learning how long the keys are held down and the time between keystrokes, the system can then instantly recognize users when they sign on.
• ‘Dark Tourism’ – Travel to places where people have suffered or died in tragic or spectacular circumstances, ie: war battlefields such as Vimy Ridge; NYC’s ‘Ground Zero Memorial’; Holocaust museums; military cemeteries, etc.
• ‘Pay As You Throw’ (aka ‘P-A-Y-T’) – A waste disposal fee based on how much garbage a household or business generates. (“Hey, don’t be tossing those rags in the trash. We’ll take them to the thrift store. Then they’ll be responsible for the PAYT when they toss ‘em.”)

Recent sales figures from research firm Mintel International show a whopping 49% increase in retail sales of dark chocolate over the past 3 years. The dark chocolate phenomenon began about 5 years ago with reports of its health benefits, and has been boosted by chocolate-makers marketing it as a guilt-free indulgence. Some companies are even touting dark chocolate as a ‘health food’. However, some nutritionists warn against overselling that idea. They agree there is strong scientific evidence of dark chocolate’s antioxidant benefits, but warn that it is also high in fat and calories. Bottom line – if you consume about 1 ounce of dark chocolate a day, you will see some cardiovascular benefits. (An ounce … that’s just a tease.)
– Reuters

Based on affordability by median income earners and return on investment …
5. Washington DC (rounded off median home price: $431,000)
4. San Francisco CA ($737,000)
3. Sacramento CA ($375,000)
2. Miami FL ($371,000)
1. San Diego CA ($602,000)
– “Forbes”

40% of 3-month-old babies are already watching television, according to a new study published YESTERDAY. University of Washington researchers also found that by the time they’re 2-years-old, a whopping 90% of kids are already tuning in to TV. UW pediatrics professor Frederick Zimmerman warns that, despite popular belief, there’s no evidence whatsoever that TV viewing has any educational benefit to pre-schoolers. Over the last decade, since “Teletubbies” broke the taboo of gearing programs to children under 3, programs have been targeting younger and younger viewers. And soon they’ll be available in Canada 24/7 as BabyFirstTV, a 24-hour cable channel for babies, launches by the end of JUNE. (Admit it, parents. It’s not for educational purposes … it’s just an electronic babysitter.)
– Globe & Mail”

In the near future it will be possible to make multi-dimensional objects, such as the lost battery cover for your cellphone or your daughter’s favorite doll, on hi-tech new computer printers. You’ll  simply download 3-dimensional plans online, then push ‘Print’. Hours later, a solid object will be ready to remove from your printer. The technology, which involves a halogen light bulb melting and shaping nylon powder, has been used in industrial design shops for about a decade but the cost (over $100,000) was prohibitive to home use. But now Desktop Factory plans to start selling its first home-use 3-D printer later THIS YEAR for $4,995. And it’s expected prices will fall to $1,000 or less within 4 years. (“Dad, I lost my old toothbrush. Can you print me a new one?”)
– “New York Times”

When pigs are happy, their tails are tightly curled. When they’re unhappy, their tails are straight and limp.
– BBC News Magazine

“I made an error in judgment. We all make mistakes, however this is about accountability. This was my wake-up call. I also want to apologize to my fans, ABC Television and my design team for my lapse in judgment and the embarrassment I have caused.”
– A press release from 41-year-old “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” host Ty Pennington about his arrest for DUI. We seem to get at least one of these after each weekend in Lalaland.


1918 [89] Mike (Myron Leon) Wallace, Brookline MA, retired CBS-TV journalist (“60 Minutes” 1968-2006)

1936 [71] Albert Finney, Manchester UK, movie actor (“A Good Year”, “Erin Brockovich”)

1946 [61] Candice Bergen, Beverly Hills CA, TV actress (‘Shirley Schmidt’ on “Boston Legal” since 2005, 4 Emmy Awards-“Murphy Brown” 1988-98)/movie actress (“Miss Congeniality”)

1949 [58] Billy Joel, Bronx NY, oldies singer (“Just the Way You Are”, “My Life”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1999)/rehab veteran

1950 [57] Tom Petersson, Rockford IL, classic rock bassist/singer (Cheap Trick-“The Flame”, “I Want You To Want Me”)

1962 [45] David Gahan, Epping UK, alt-rock singer (Depeche Mode-“Policy of Truth”, “I Feel You”)

1979 [28] Pierre Bouvier, Montréal QC, rock singer (Simple Plan-“Untitled [How Could This Happen To Me?]”, “Welcome To My Life”)

1979 [28] Rosario Dawson, NYC, movie actress (“Grindhouse”, “Sin City”)

• “Lost Sock Memorial Day”, a day to remember those singular hose that went into the washing machine or dryer never to return. (Play “Taps” for them?)

• “Receptionists Day”, in recognition of the frontline personnel in business and education, the ones responsible for a good first impression. (And besides, they’re really bitter about “Administrative Professionals Day” a couple weeks back.)

• “School Nurses Day”, celebrated annually on the WEDNESDAY during “Nurse’s Week”.

• “Small Business Day”. A small business is defined as one with fewer than 100 employees. Many of today’s small businesses used to be big businesses.

• “Third Shift Workers Day”, honoring everyone who works the night shift. Ask for calls from people with unusual all-night jobs.

1987 [20] Actor Tom Cruise marries actress Mimi Rogers (wife #1 lasts 3 years)

1899 [108] 1st ‘Lawn Mower’ is patented (thereby ruining weekends)

1944 [63] 1st ‘Eye Bank’ opens, in NYC (“The Eye Bank, we’ll keep an eye out for you!”)

1960 [47] 1st public sale of ‘Contraceptive Pills’

1997 [10] 1st graduate from 1st university operating entirely online (you can bet that ‘Virtual Diploma’ from International University is now truly beyond worth!)

1984 [23] Chicago White Sox & Milwaukee Brewers finish 8 hour, 6 minute game; longest-ever MLB game in elapsed time (Chicago wins 7-6 in 25th inning … on the 2nd day)

[Thurs] Clean Up Your Room Day
[Thurs] Trust Your Intuition Day
[Fri] Eat What You Want Day
[Sat] Limerick Day
[Sat] Kite Day
[Sat] International Nurse’s Day
[Sat] Native American Day
[Sat-Sun] US Rock, Paper, Scissors Championship (Las Vegas)
[Sun] Mothers Day
[Sun] “7th Heaven” series finalé (CW)
This Week Is … Goodwill Industries Week
This Month Is … Good Carkeeping Month


Expecting a little bundle of joy at any moment? Do the kid a favor and don’t pick one of these …
• Butch … Used to be a really macho name, but its now more often used as an adjective.
• Colin … When pronounced ‘KOH-lin’, it sounds like you’re talking about your intestines.
• Dick … As a name it’s now worth Dick-all. Especially since Dick Cheney tarnished its rep.
• Earl … High school slang for vomit. Also now associated with Jason Lee’s loser character on TV’s “My Name Is Earl”. (‘Ralph’ is also a no-no unless the kid constantly blows chunks.)
• Fanny … A polite word for buttocks (and worse in the UK). Truly bad for a female of any age.
• Gaylord … You might as well slap a ‘Beat Me Up’ sign on your son’s back.
• John Thomas … Slang for a guy’s package. Destined to hear the same jokes as ‘Dick’.
• Mary Jane … Slang for  marijuana. No matter how pristine she lives her life, she’ll gain the rep of being her school’s dealer.
• Randi – British slang for horny. Not bad, though somewhat worse for girls than boys named Randy.
• Woody … Bad in high school but younger kids don’t know about it. That’s probably why it was considered okay as the name of the hero in the family movie “Toy Story”.
(Ask listeners to contribute more horrific names as a public service.)

• Scottish author Sir James Barrie was born 147 years ago TODAY. What’s his most famous story?
a. “Thumbellina”
b. “Peter Pan” [CORRECT]
c. “Debbie Does Dallas”
• TODAY is the 80th anniversary of the Australian government moving to its new capital. And what city would that be?
a. Sydney
b. Melbourne
c. Canberra [CORRECT]
– Wikipedia

• Which is the world’s largest participation sport?
a. Bowling.
b. Table tennis. [CORRECT, with more than 40 million competitive players alone.]
c. Golf.
– “Weekend Telegraph”

When you fill out a form asking for age or weight, do you lie? (According to a “Men’s Health” poll, 73% of men and fully 85% of women will tell you they weigh less than they actually do.)

BS ‘5-IN-10 GAME’:
The fastest game in radio lasts less than a minute! Contestant has 10 seconds to name items in each of the following 5 categories. You keep track of the numbers and decide if the answers are valid. In 10 seconds name …
• Things that might cause your partner to dump you.
• Stuff you can buy at a ball game.
• Aromas that make you really, really hungry.
• Popular names for cats.
• Things your mom wouldn’t want to receive for “Mothers Day”.

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.

Today’s Question: Women spend an average of 41 hours a year doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Shoe shopping.

Freedom is doing what you like; happiness is liking what you do.



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