Wednesday, May 24, 2006        Edition: #3289
Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT, will it be Taylor Hicks or Katharine McPhee who wins the voting on the “American Idol” 5th season finalé (FOX/CTV)? (we’ll have to suffer through 2 ridiculously padded hours to find out) . . . One thing we do know is 4th-season winner Carrie Underwood will officially end her “Idol” reign by singing her latest hit, “Don’t Forget to Remember Me” (how apropos!) . . . And this could make for an interesting face-to-face encounter – “Desperate Housewives” star Teri Hatcher has tix for good seats in the audience, only a couple weeks after being unceremoniously dumped by “AI” host Ryan Seacrest via phone (cool, egg him!) . . . Although there are versions of “Idol” produced around-the-world, “American Idol” itself screens in some 154 countries worldwide . . . Even though he was too busy directing “Mission Impossible 3“ to participate in it, “Lost” co-creator JJ Abrams promises TONIGHT’s 2nd season finalé (ABC/CTV) is ‘incredible’ (well that would make it right on par with the entire series) . . . THIS FALL a line of 6-inch plastic replicas of “Lost” characters will hit stores, including ‘Jack’, ‘Kate’, ‘Hurley’, ‘Locke’, ‘Charlie’ & ‘Shannon’ (circa $20 per set) and a ‘hatch’ for them to play in, priced at about $25 (Michelle Rodriguez’s character ‘Ana-Lucia Cortez ‘ may also be available – but only in prison garb) . . . And “X-Men: The Last Stand” star Hugh Jackman reveals that his wife Deborra-Lee Furness insisted that he keep his ‘Wolverine’ costume after shooting the 3rd installment (opening FRIDAY) because she really, really likes it when he wears it … in the bedroom (“Hey, whose fur is this all over the sheets?”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Arctic Monkeys – 19-year-old bassist Andy Nicholson has walked away from their North American tour, citing fatigue. Nick O’Malley, former member of obscure band The Dodgems, will fill in until he recovers.
• Gnarls Barkley – TONIGHT the UK chart-toppers (“Crazy”) are on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”.
• Gretchen Wilson – She’s co-writing her autobiography, “I’ll Tell You What a Redneck Woman Is”, for publication this NOVEMBER.
• Prince – He’s just been voted ‘World’s Sexiest Vegetarian’ for 2006 in PETA’s annual online poll. His female counterpart is 25-year-old “Veronica Mars” actress Kristen Bell.
• Rob Zombie – TONIGHT the rocker-turned-horror movie director guests on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Tragically Hip – TONIGHT they’re being awarded honorary fellowships from the prestigious Royal Conservatory of Music at the “Royal Occasion Gala” in Toronto.
• The Wreckers – TONIGHT Michelle Branch & Jessica Harp drop in on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson”.

QUIT PLAYING DEAD, AL:
In the past year, Albert has learned to fetch, swim through hoops, and play soccer. That’s pretty amazing for – a goldfish. He’s even earned a listing as ‘Fish with the Largest Repertoire of Tricks’ in the upcoming edition of “Guinness World Records”. The savvy swimmer was educated by 41-year-old software engineer Dean Pomerleau, who was prompted to try dog-training tricks on the family goldfish after his daughter asked for a puppy. He’s since established the world’s only ‘fish-training academy’ and written a book on fish education. (Great, but his daughter still wants to know what happened with the puppy thing.)
– “Globe & Mail”

HOW TO REMEMBER YOUR DREAMS:
• As you fall asleep, assure yourself that you will remember.
• Keep pen and paper within reach.
• Sleep late. The longer you dream, the longer the REM (dream) periods become.
• When you wake up, don’t move or open your eyes.
• Lie still and try to retrieve a fragment of the dream. You’ll probably catch it by the tail. Gently reel it in: What came before that? And before that?
• Open your eyes, write down the dream and give it an apt title.
– “American Health”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A look at life by the numbers …
• 76% of commuters who drive to work do it alone … but would prefer some company.
• 68% of adult respondents describe their bedroom antics as ‘predictable’.
• 67% of Canadian preschoolers are read to each day by an adult.
• 36% of couples say the most important thing in a relationship is to agree on goals & values.
• 33% of us completely clean our plate when eating.
• 20% of guys have called in sick at least once due to a bad hair day.
• 18% of divorced people say that if they had it to do over again … they wouldn’t.

HEY, I KNOW YOU:
Children are first able to recognize their own faces in the mirror at 16-to-24 months, writes Jonathan Miller in his book “Mirror, Mirror”. (An ability you lose at 40 when you look in the mirror first thing in the morning.)
– “Psychology Today”

BS BUZZWORDS:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Fertility Tourism’ – The new practice of traveling to another country for fertility treatments in order to bypass regulations in one’s own country. (“Next month we’re doing a fertility tour to Spain to pick up a dozen eggs.”)
• ‘Fratire’ – You’ve heard of ‘chick lit’? Well now publishers are attempting to create the male equivalent: testosterone-fueled books with lots of action and debauchery. (“I’m into this new fratire paperback series … mostly cuz it has centerfolds.”)
• ‘Socially Produced’ – Something created in collaboration with a lot of people, these days typically a website á la Wikipedia. (“No ma’am, I didn’t cheat on my project. It was just socially produced by plagiarizing the ‘net.”)

DID YOU KNOW?
• More movies are produced in India than in Hollywood.
• The parachute was invented before the airplane.
• The most popular first name in the world is ‘Muhammad’.
• A typical soft drink serving contains 10 teaspoons of sugar.

STYLE STATEMENTS:
Which spring fashion trend for women will you be buying into?
• Platform wedges.
• A pair of skinny jeans.
• Dressy Bermuda shorts.
• An eyelet blouse.
– “Chatelaine”

HEALTHY DISGUISE:
Whole wheat bread is looking a whole lot less wheat-y these days. That’s because food processors are selling more of a newly popular flour that merges whole-wheat health benefits with the color, taste, and texture of white bread. The secret is ‘white wheat’, a grain that can be milled to resemble pancake-friendly all-purpose flour, but is as healthy as traditional whole wheat. It’s a sneaky way to eat Wonder-type bread and still get whole grain. (Now if they could just get tofu to taste like sirloin …)
– AP

SECRET GUY TURN-ONS:
A few surprising things a lot of guys like in a woman …
• A love of food and the ability to pack it away.
• The occasional obscenity.
• That she isn’t a neat freak.
• A little ‘extra padding’.
• A passionate interest in something, whether or not he’s also into it.
– Match.com

AND WE QUOTE:
• “We get a lot of criticism but if Eva was among our ranks, then that would stop.”
– A rep for the National Rifle Association, which wants “Desperate Housewives” star Eva Longoria to become its new face after she recently declared she was a fan of target shooting.
• “Men lie no more than women but they tend to lie to make themselves look better, while women are more likely to lie to make the other person feel better.”
– University of Massachusetts psychologist Robert Feldman in the latest “Journal of Basic & Applied Psychology”.

THE BULL SHEET 05.24.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [65] Bob Dylan (Zimmerman), Duluth MN, folk/rock/pop singer/songwriter (“Like a Rolling Stone”)/’Lifetime Achievement’ “Grammy Award” (1991)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1988)

1945 [61] Priscilla Presley (Wagner), Brooklyn NY, ex-Mrs Elvis Presley (1967-73)/sometime film/TV actress (“Naked Gun” series/”Dallas” 1983-88)/Lisa Marie Presley’s mommy

1955 [51] Rosanne Cash, Memphis TN, country singer (“Seven Year Ache”)/daughter of Johnny Cash

1960 [46] Kristin Scott Thomas, Redruth UK, movie actress (“The English Patient”, “Mission: Impossible”)

1967 [39] Eric Close, Staten Island NY, TV actor (‘Martin Fitzgerald’ on “Without A Trace” since 2002)

1969 [37] Rich Robinson, Atlanta GA, rock guitarist (Black Crowes-“Hard to Handle”)/lead singer Chris Robinson’s brother/Kate Hudson’s brother-in-law

1988 [18] Billy Gilman, Hope Valley RI, country singer (“One Voice”)/youngest-ever “Grammy Award” nominee at age 12 (2001)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Brothers Day”. If you have one, give him a quick punch on the arm … just to let him know you care.

• “Escargot Day”, celebrating the only gourmet food you can harvest off your driveway.

• “Morning Radio Wise Guy Day”, honoring you dedicated fools who get up before 5 am to start the day with humor, music and information.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2000 [06] Tom Cruise blockbuster “Mission: Impossible 2“ opens in theaters, earning $93 million in its 1st week

2000 [06] 1st ‘Gay Romantic Kiss on TV’ occurs on season finalé of “Dawson’s Creek” as ‘Jack’ (Kerr Smith) and ‘Ethan’ (Adam Kauffman) lock lips (producers claim previous gay kisses on TV were ‘jokes’ and not ‘romantic’)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1996 [10] Leann Rimes releases her debut hit “Blue”

2000 [06] Britney Spears’ album “Oops! … I Did It Again” sells 1.3 million copies, the most-ever first-week sales for a female artist

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1901 [105] 1st  annual ‘Victoria Day’ holiday as designated by PM Wilfrid Laurier after the death of the queen earlier in the year

1932 [74] Canadian Broadcasting Corporation is established (next day, the first layoffs are announced)

1935 [71] 1st baseball game ‘under the lights’ as Reds beat Phillies 2-1 at Cincinnati’s Crosley Field

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1982 [24] Christina Samane of South Africa gives birth to ‘Heaviest Known Baby’ – a 22-lb, 8-oz male whopper (she names it ‘Ouuuuuch’)

1986 [20] Montréal Canadiens skate past Calgary Flames 4-3 to capture a 23rd Stanley Cup Championship, at the time the most titles ever by a North American pro sports franchise

1988 [18] John Moschitta sets Guinness World Record for ‘Fast Talking’ – 586 words per minute

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Tap Dance Day
[Thurs] “So You Think You Can Dance 2″ debuts (FOX-TV)
[Sat] Ancestor Honor Day
[Sun] Indianapolis 500
[Mon] Hamburger Day
[Mon] Memorial Day (USA)
This Week Is … Safe Boating Week
This Month Is … Revise Your Work Schedule Month

BULL’S BITS

THE TRUTH BEHIND MEN’S BS PHRASES:
What they say . . . What they mean.
• “I’m a romantic.” . . . “I’m poor.”
• “You’re the only girl I’ve ever cared about.” . . . “You are the only girl who hasn’t rejected me.”
• “I don’t know if I like her.” . . . “She won’t sleep with me.”
• “I had a wonderful time last night.” . . . “Who the hell are you?”
• “I have something to tell you.” . . . “Get tested.”
• “I’ve been thinking a lot.” . . . “You’re not as attractive as when I was drunk.”
• “I need you.” . . . “My hand is tired.”

BS BRAIN STRAIN:
Q: Can you name the first 4 “American Idols” in order?
A: Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard, Fantasia Barrino, and Carrie Underwood.

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• What’s the one big way your family differs from your partner’s family?
• What word can you think of that didn’t exist when you were a kid?
• Who’s the best boss you ever had? Why?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: If you are average, you will have lost half of THESE by age 60:
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Your taste buds.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Two wrongs are … only the beginning.


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