Wednesday, May 17, 2006                                         Edition: #3284
Don’t Forget to Renew Your Subscription or You’ll Be Sheet Outta Luck!

SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY the 59th “Cannes Film Festival” kicks off with the world premiere of Ron Howard’s “The Da Vinci Code”, starring Tom Hanks (top contenders in the actual competition through May 28th are Sofia Coppola’s “Marie-Antoinette” starring Kirsten Dunst, and “The Hawk Is Dying” starring Paul Giamatti) . . . Spoon-bending psychic Uri Geller and 2 partners have bought the modest 4-bedroom Memphis TN house that Elvis Presley lived in before Graceland with a winning bid of $905,100 on eBay (would you pay to go see a place Elvis lived in for less than a year?)  . . . A business tycoon who bid $108,000 in a UK charity auction for a 60-second kiss from model Kate Moss was too embarrassed to accept the prize in front of his wife, so he gave it to the runner-up bidder – Hugh Grant’s girlfriend Jemima Khan (apparently he wasn’t too embarrassed to have her witness same-gender spit-swap) . . . Meantime, a fan has bid more than $50,000 in another auction for a private yoga lesson from actress Gwyneth Paltrow (proving she’ll bend over backwards for charity) . . . No surprise here – NBC has officially cancelled Matt LeBlanc’s lame sitcom “Joey” after it limped through a season-and-a-half of horrific ratings (in the biz, this is known as euthanasia) . . . Former “Playboy” pin-up & sometime actress Jenny McCarthy is now a columnist for men’s magazine “FHM”, doling out tips on dating & lovemaking (her first column – how to have an affair & get away with it) . . . Nominations for Broadway’s biggest prize, the “Tony Awards” (JUNE 4th), include Oprah Winfrey (“The Color Purple” producer), Harry Connick Jr (“The Pajama Game” star), and Ralph Fiennes (“Faith Healer” leading actor), but there’s no mention of Julia what’s-her-name . . . A new ranking in the “Los Angeles Business Journal” shows that Mel Gibson is now Hollywood’s wealthiest actor, with an estimated net worth of $850 million (thanks mainly to “The Passion of the Christ”) . . . Tennis superstar Maria Sharapova personally picked her ball-boys for the WTA tour stop in Madrid, Spain – 7 hot male models (advantage, Maria!) . . . And Donald Trump is blaming ‘overexposure’ for this season’s big ratings drop for “The Apprentice” (nothing to do with the monotone bellowing and bad comb-over?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Britney Spears – She’s enlisted Destiny’s Child producer JR Rotem to help cultivate a new sound for an ‘edgy’ new album, which reportedly will include an attempt at rap. Hey, couldn’t be any worse than K-Fed.
• Madonna – Rumors that her marriage to Guy Ritchie is on the rocks just won’t die. A new round is being fueled by the fact that she’s recently been photographed without her wedding ring.
• Pink – As an avid PETA supporter, she’s now urging Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II to ban those fur ‘busby hats’ that are part of the uniform for royal guards, claiming 1 or 2 Canadian bears are killed in order to make each hat.

TODAY’S TUBE:
• “The Amazing Race” (CBS/CTV) 9th season finalé crosses the finish line.
• “America’s Next Top Model” (UPN/CityTV) 6th season finalé crowns a new aspiring catwalker.
• “Bones” (FOX/Global) 1st season finalé.
• Christina Milian is on “Jimmy Kimmel Live (ABC).
• “CSI: NY” (CBS/CTV) 2nd season finalé in HD.
• “Law & Order” (NBC) 16th season finalé.

“DA VINCI CODE” FACTS:
• The Dan Brown novel is one of the biggest sellers of all-time, with some 40 million copies sold.
• THIS WEEKEND the movie opens on 100,000 screens around-the-world.
• Sony Pictures has spent an estimated $45-million to market the film … in the US alone.
• Sony has hired publicist, Grace Media, which specializes in luring Christians to movies.
• Travel to “Da Vinci Code” locations has become so popular, Sony has lined up partnership contracts with the tourism boards of France, England and Scotland, along with high-speed rail service Eurostar and hotel chain Novotel to mutually promote one another.

HOTTEST WOMEN IN HOLLYWOOD:
Guess who tops “Maxim’s” annual ‘Hot 100′ list … again?
5. Wrestler-turned-“Dancing With the Stars” phenom Stacy Keibler.
4. Actress/celeb mom Angelina Jolie.
3. Actress Lindsay Lohan.
2. Actress Jessica Alba.
1. “Desperate Housewives” star Eva Longoria. (2nd year-in-a-row.)
– “Maxim Magazine”

DID YOU KNOW?
Each year in the US, approximately 250,000 husbands are physically attacked by their wives.

CHEESY PERFUME:
The makers of the famously pungent Stilton blue cheese have launched ‘Eau de Stilton’, an ‘eminently wearable perfume that recreates the earthy and fruity aroma’ of the cheese. The fragrance, blended by a Manchester UK aromatics company, features a ‘symphony of natural base notes including yarrow, angelica seed, clary sage and valerian’. (For the woman who wants to smell like a sink-trap.)
– Ananova News

BS BUZZWORDS:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Indigo Kids’ – Intelligent, willful children whom mystical types claim have a striking dark-blue ‘aura’. According to the book “The Indigo Children: The New Kids Have Arrived”, they may have come from another planet to teach the world about honesty, love & tolerance. (Oh yeah dude, have another huff.)
• ‘Molecular Mixology’ – The application of the principles of molecular chemistry to the mixing of alcoholic drinks. Some ingredients actually change form as the drink is mixed. A trendy new twist intended to get people talking about upscale bars. (“Bartender, gimme a beaker of distilled barley malt over 20 ml of solid-state H2O, would ya?”)
• ‘Tuangou’ – In Chinese, it means ‘team buying’. It’s when shoppers looking for the same thing hook up online, then band together to negotiate a special deal on a high-ticket item such as electronics or a vehicle. (“Good morning, we’re considering buying 57 Toyotas … what’s your best price?”)

CHEAP GAS:
Beijing, China … $2.05 US gallon/54 cents liter
Shanghai, China … $1.94 gallon /51 cents liter
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia … $0.91 gallon/24 cents liter
Kuwait City, Kuwait … $0.78 gallon/21 cents liter
Caracas, Venezuela … $0.12 gallon/3 cents liter
(So tell us again, why is it 97.9 a litre in Calgary this morning?)
(So tell us again, why is it $2.97 a gallon in Washington DC this morning?)
– CNN/Money

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
Breaking down life by the numbers …
• 90% of employees say they have worked for a bad manager.
• 60% of the potatoes in the United States come from Idaho.
• 52% of working moms would take a pay-cut to spend more time with their kids.
• 42% of Canadian adults are only semi-literate.
• 38% of women say that, in may ways, they’ve become their mother.
• 17% of us admit we’ve stolen something from a restaurant.
• 13% of employees show up late for work at least once a week.

I WANT MY MP3:
MTV is launching ‘URGE’, a new music & video store, where users will be able to download songs for 99 cents a pop or subscribe to an unlimited download service for $9.99 a month. Fees increase to $14.95 if you want the option to transfer tunes to a portable music device. But Mac and iPod users need not apply – only Microsoft types can get the URGE.
– “E! Online”

HE SAID IT:
“Actually, of the 200 protesters that were reported,199 were Tom Hanks fans and 1 was an angry nun.”
– “Da Vinci Code” director Ron Howard telling “National Post” that the protests during filming at England’s Lincoln Cathedral were perhaps a tad overinflated by the UK media.

SHE SAID IT:
“After I became a Scientologist, my abilities expanded so far and above what I originally dreamed that I’ve amazed even myself.”
– Nancy Cartwright, who’s vastly broadened horizons included landing the job as the voice of ‘Bart’ on “The Simpsons”.

THE BULL SHEET 05.17.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1936 [70] Dennis Hopper, Dodge City KS, movie actor (“Speed”, “Easy Rider”)  FACTOID: His publisher claims his upcoming autobiography, “Out Takes”, will be ‘unrestrained and astonishing’.

1956 [50] Bob Saget, Philadelphia PA, movie actor (“Madagascar”, “The Aristocrats”)/former TV star (“America’s Funniest Home Videos” 1990-97, “Full House” 1987-95)

1961 [45] Enya (Eithne Ni Bhraonain), Gaoth Dobhair, Ireland, pop/new age jazz singer (“Orinoco Flow [Sail Away]”, “Only Time”)

1962 [44] Craig Ferguson, Glasgow, Scotland, TV host (“The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” since 2005)

1965 [41] Trent Reznor, Mercer PA, rock singer (Nine Inch Nails-“Every Day is Exactly the Same”, “Closer”)

1969 [37] Thom Filicia , Syracuse NY, TV personality/interior designer (“Queer Eye For The Straight Guy”)

1974 [32] Andrea Corr, Dundalk, Ireland, pop/Celtic singer (The Corrs-“Breathless”, “Runaway”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Be A Millionaire Day”, a celebration of the joys of achieving millionaire status. Here’s how you go about it – first, get a whole bunch of money …

• “Employee Health & Fitness Day”, observed on the 3rd Wednesday of May each year to encourage employers to promote healthy habits & physical activity for employees.
NET: http://www.physicalfitness.org/nehf.html

• “Pack Rat Day”, celebrating people who squirrel away all kinds of ‘stuff’.

• “UN World Telecommunication Day”, with this year’s event promoting global cybersecurity.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1975 [31] Elton John’s “Captain Fantastic & the Brown Dirt Cowboy” becomes the 1st album to be released and certified Platinum (a 2-million seller) on the same day

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1845 [161] 1st ‘Rubber Band’ (next day a 9-year-old boy pokes out his eye)

1939 [67] George VI & wife Queen Elizabeth make 1st Canadian visit by a reigning British monarch (one of their duties during the visit is officially opening the Queen Elizabeth Way [QEW] highway that joins Niagara to Toronto)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1980 [26] Kumar Anandan sets record of balancing on 1 foot for 33 hours (if you think that sounds easy – see if you can make it for 33 seconds!)

1996 [10] 2,000 Swedish protestors stage mass urination on ‘Pee Outdoors Day’, protesting construction of a sewage plant (they were really PO-ed!)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Visit Your Relatives Day
[Thurs] International Museum Day
[Fri] 12th Bike to Work Day
[Fri] International Peace Day
[Sat] Senior Citizens Day
[Sat] 2006 Preakness Stakes
[Sun] Wait Staff Day
[Mon] Victoria Day (no BS service)
This Week Is … New Friends, Old Friends Week
This Month Is … Haitian Heritage Month (a biggie for Michaelle Jean)

BULL’S BITS

LITTLE WAYS TO BECOME A MUCH BETTER PERSON:
• Ask more questions. Then wait to hear the answers.
• When a Wal-Mart greeter says ‘Hi’, stop for a sec, make real eye contact and say ‘Hi’ back.
• Write a thank-you letter to that favorite teacher you’ve been thanking silently for years.
• Just once, when you have a perfectly good reason to be PO-ed at somebody … don’t be.
• When you see someone running desperately for the elevator, don’t just lift your hand as if to push the ‘door open’ button … actually push it!
• Calculate a generous tip … then add an extra buck.
• Give a 5-year-old girl a pedicure.
• Buy a piece of real art. Your home will thank you, and so will the starving artist.
• Compliment a perfect stranger on her shoes, her baby, her lovely accent.
– “Glamour Magazine”

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes may be all over the tabloids these days, but which actress was the first to call herself Mrs Cruise?
a. Nicole Kidman
b. Penelope Cruz
c. Brooke Shields
d. Mimi Rogers [CORRECT]

• Perhaps surprisingly, this animal can jump as high as 6 feet …
a. Salmon [CORRECT]
b. Earthworm
c. Flea
b. Elephant

• Lindsay Lohan made her feature film debut in which movie?
a. “Freaky Friday”
b. “American Beauty”
c. “The Hot Chick “
d. “The Parent Trap” [CORRECT]

BS ARGUMENT STARTER:
The unshaven look has become trendy for guys again, but a lot of women don’t like it. In fact, an online movement called the ‘No SCRUFF Organization’ (‘Social Crusaders Repulsed by Unshaven Faces’) is encouraging women not to shave until their men do. So what about whiskers – are they hot or not?
NET: http://www.noscruf.org

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: More than 24 million of THESE were sold last year alone.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Downloaded songs.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It doesn’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.

BS BOUNTY HUNTERS!
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