Monday, May 15, 2006        Edition: #3282
Great Show Content – Spoon-Fed!

• Lindsay ‘your parents are lazy’ Lohan, really does work hard. In only one week, she managed to get in 62 hours of shopping, 40 hours of clubbing, 25 hours of eating, 16 hours of flirting and an hour-and-a-half of acting. (Ah, that explains that lame “Just My Luck” movie!)
– “Us Weekly”
• Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie are launching a line of African housewares, working with local craftsmen in Namibia to create an assortment of rugs, pottery & other household items. The collection will be launched at an art fair in Paris this SEPTEMBER. The project combines their 2 passions – Brad’s love of design and Angelina’s commitment to humanitarian work. All proceeds from the collection will be donated to a local Namibian community.
– “The Bosh”
• Heavily pregnant Gwen Stefani has broken a finger after a nasty accident involving a sewing machine. Stefani, who’s due to give birth to her first baby NEXT MONTH, has been spotted sporting a splint and cast after an attempt at dressmaking went wrong. (We thought factories made her LAMB clothing line … the poor girl does it all herself?)
– “Daily Dish”
• The real-life soap opera continues! Now Denise Richards’ sister is denying reports the actress is expecting guitarist Richie Sambora’s baby. Richards, who is currently embroiled in vicious divorce proceedings with former husband Charlie Sheen, is rumored to have romanced the Bon Jovi guitarist just a few months after his wife – and her former best pal – Heather Locklear filed for divorce. (We’ve lost track of this sordid crew … has everyone slept with everyone now?)
– “Contact Music”
• Singer/actress Hilary Duff was briefly the darling of animal activists after launching her own line of ‘cruelty-free cosmetics’, but now activist organization Showing Animals Respect & Kindness is seeing red over her plans to perform at a bullfight arena in Barcelona, Spain. SHARK has taken it upon themselves to mail her grisly tapes of cruel behavior in bullfights. (What’s the next step down the ladder from playing bull rings … retirement homes?)
– “National Enquirer”
• According to “Autograph Collector” magazine’s 14th annual survey of Hollywood’s best & worst signers, Johnny Depp is the most approachable star when asking for an autograph, followed by George Clooney. At the other end of the scale, don’t even think about asking Cameron Diaz to sign. Instead of just politely declining, she lectures people about how dumb autographs are. (On the plus side, she’s been spitting on the riffraff much less.)
– “USA Weekend”
• Sounds like it was rough sailing on the set of “Poseidon”. Kurt Russell accidentally bonked co-star Josh Lucas on the head with a flashlight so hard that he bled profusely. Then Russell got a throat infection that kept getting worse and worse. But that was only a precursor to the flu. However, the cast kept on plugging away until the film was completed. Then Kurt got pneumonia. (This really was a disaster movie!)
• Seems reports of this death were premature! After a much hyped series finalé, “Mediaweek” is reporting that The WB’s cancelled show “7th Heaven” will be resurrected on the newly formed CW for an 11th season. (Apparently, there’s a lot of fans having trouble letting go.)
– “E! Online”
• Model Tatyana Simanava was almost killed when she mistook the exit door of a tour bus for a restroom door and fell from the moving vehicle onto a Brooklyn NY highway. The Belarus-born beauty, who was on her way to a modeling appointment, dislocated a shoulder, smashed her arm and damaged her face but, remarkably, she’s otherwise okay. (Let’s hope she’s not planning to fly to her next gig!)
• Rock band Fuel has offered “American Idol” reject Chris Daughtry a gig as lead singer since former frontman Brett Scallions quit in FEBRUARY. But Daughtry’s reportedly not jumping on the offer just yet. (Maybe holding out for an offer from a band that’s actually had a hit in the past 5 years?)

• Backstreet Boys – They have confirmed a return to recording, promising work on a new album will start later THIS YEAR. Somebody’s bank account must be getting low.
• O-A-R [Of A Revolution] – The “Love & Memories” band began as a high school basement hobby for Marc Roderge & Chris Culos, then coalesced as a 5 -member frat band at Ohio State University in 1998.
• Ray Scott – He was raised in the rural farming community of Semora NC, the son of country singer Ray Scott Sr. “Gone Either Way” is from his debut album, “My Kind of Music”.
• Reba McEntire – After 5 seasons the fate of her sitcom, “Reba”, is up in the air. The new CW network, merged from UPN & the WB, will release its fall schedule THIS WEEK. Thanks to an iron-clad contract, it would have to pay more than $10 million NOT to continue the series.
• Sum 41 – Guitarist Dave ‘Brownsound’ Baksh has left the band in what’s described as an amicable split. It’s all due to his ‘need to grow and change’.
• Wreckers – This collaborative project between pop singer Michelle Branch & backup singer Jessica Harp first came together in 2004 when they performed “Good Kind” on the WB’s “One Tree Hill”. “Leave The Pieces” is from their first full-length CD together, “Stand Still, Look Pretty”.

• Billy Joel guests on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC).
• “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC/CTV) 2nd season finalé: part 2.
• “How I Met Your Mother” (CBS) 1st season finalé.
• Jewel is a guest on “The View” (ABC).
• Kanye West performs on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated).
• “Oprah Winfrey’s Legends Ball” (ABC) special. Among the honorees are the late Coretta Scott King and Rosa Parks, as well as Aretha Franklin and Tina Turner.
• “Prison Break” (FOX/Global) 1st season finalé.

A recent study finds that babies around-the-world are basically speaking the same language by making the same pattern of sounds. Linguists think ‘baby talk’ resembles what may have been the original human language, based on sounds that are easy to make. (Now you know why they go gaga over the Goo Goo Dolls in Japan.)
– The journal “Science”.

Are the hours dragging by at your job? Experts advise you ask yourself why you don’t feel motivated, then try one or more of the following solutions …
• Look for new opportunities within your current company. There’s sure to be a challenge somewhere.
• Learn something new. Request company-provided training in these areas, or read up or take a class on your own.
• Ask your manager for informal feedback or a career-planning discussion.
• Go on job interviews … even if you’re not looking to move. They’re great for establishing contacts, broadening your outlook and identifying the skills you’ll need for a more satisfying position.
• Put on rose-colored glasses. If a job- or career-change doesn’t make sense for you right now, accept it and make the best of what you have. List all the things you really love about your work and keep it handy as a reminder.

The hilarious book “I Hate Myself and Want to Die: The 52 Most Depressing Songs You’ve Ever Heard” by Tom Reynolds checks out some of the most angst-filled tunes of all-time and the reasons they’re so sad. Among them: “My Immortal” by Evanescence, “Prayers for Rain” by the Cure, and “All By Myself” by Celine Dion, which appears in the chapter “Horrifying Remakes of Already Depressing Songs”. And here are his most depressing songs of all-time …
5. “Seasons in the Sun”, Terry Jacks (1974)
4. “Total Eclipse of the Heart”, Bonnie Tyler (1984)
3. “Honey”, Bobby Goldsboro (1968)
2. “The Shortest Story”, Harry Chapin (1976)
1. “The Christmas Shoes”, Newsong (2000)
So what tune yanks a tear for you?
– “Entertainment Weekly”

When content, a llama hums.

“I like to show shoulders and neck. My parents always say I have really good legs … they always insist that I show my legs.”
– “OC” star Samaire Armstrong, revealing what she’d be willing to show off in a photo lay-out … and also just how creepy her upbringing must have been.


1951 [55] Chazz Palminteri, NYC, movie actor (“Analyze This”, “The Ususal Suspects”)

1967 [39] John Smoltz, Warren MI, MLB pitcher (Atlanta Braves since 1988, 1996 Cy Young Award)

1978 [28] David Krumholtz, NYC, TV actor (‘Charlie Eppes’ on “Numb3rs” since 2005)

1981 [25] Jamie-Lynn DiScala (Sigler), Jericho NY, TV actress (‘Meadow Soprano’ on “The Sopranos” since 1999)

• “Chocolate Chip Day”. Hey, any excuse to mow down on a dozen warm gooey cookies fresh out of the oven is cool. Mmm, can’t you just smell ‘em?

• “Flip Your Mattress Day”, an annual turnover to help prevent a case of the ‘lumpies’.

• “International Day of Families”, as declared by the UN.

• “Peace Officer Memorial Day” observed by more than 21,000 police departments across North America to honor colleagues who’ve been killed in the line of duty. This is also “National Police Week”.

• “San Isidro Day”, honoring the parton saint of farmers and other agricultural workers.

• “True Confessions Day”, a day to confess all those little secrets you’ve been keeping for years. Open the phone lines for some true confessions. You’ll be surprised what you get!

1996 [10] CTV anchor Lloyd Robertson is awarded the ‘Gold Ribbon Award for Broadcast Excellence’ (this year he won a volume discount from ‘Just For Men’)

1930 [76] 1st ‘Flight Attendant’ as Ellen Church serves up snacks and drinks on a United Airlines flight from San Francisco to Cheyenne WY  FACTOID: She was actually qualified as a pilot but because she was female the company would only employ her for ‘nurse’ duties like serving box lunches and brushing dead flies from windowsills.

1940 [66] DuPont announces “Nylon Day” when ‘nylons’ replace silk stockings as part of WW2 effort (many women resort to ‘liquid stockings’ – rubbing on temporary dye from a bottle, then drawing on a ‘seam’ with eyebrow pencil)

1993 [13] 1st Montréal Expo uniform retired (Rusty Staub’s #10, now hanging in Washington DC)

1994 [12] Toronto NBA franchise unveils ‘Raptors’ nickname, picked by Canada-wide poll (interestingly, official jerseys are in stores the same day)

1995 [11] 1st Canadian magazine to go online (“Maclean’s”)

1995 [11] 1st casino gambling site launched on the Internet (now there’s a bazillion!)

2000 [06] Vancouver Symphony Orchestra’s new music director Bramwell Tovey eclipses the Guinness record for ‘World’s Largest Orchestra’ by conducting the VSO and 10,000 students at GM Place

[Tues] Canadian Census Day
[Tues] Biographers Day
[Tues] Employee Health & Fitness Day
[Tues] Wear Purple For Peace Day
[Wed] 2006 “Cannes Film Festival” begins
[Wed] National Playday for Health
[Wed] Pack Rat Day
[Thurs] Visit Your Relatives Day
[Thurs] International Museum Day

Educational Bosses Week / Salvation Army Week / Public Relations Week / Alcohol & Other Drug-Related Birth Defects Week / Art Week / Bike Week / Public Transportation Week / Raisin Week / World Trade Week

Welcome aboard to Katrina James @ AM-1350 [KBID] Bakersfield CA; Monty Eich @ Waitt Radio Networks, Omaha NE; Hector Vallejo @ La Kalle 98.3 [WRTO] Miami FL; and Andrew Moloney @ AM 1530 [WCTR] Chestertown MD; all sampling the Sheet this week. You can subscribe or renew your BS subscription right here …


• Most paternity suits in a season.
• Highest blood alcohol content during a game.
• Most times running into the outfield wall without making the catch.
• Largest wad of spittle left on bullpen mound.
• Most consecutive plate appearances without washing jockstrap.
• Most murders by an NFL player, career.
• 2nd-most career home-runs by a steroid-enhanced major leaguer.

You give contestants the vintage ad slogans, they try to name the products …
• “Snap! Crackle! Pop!” (Kellogg’s Rice Krispies)
• “Good to the last drop.” (Maxwell House Coffee)
• “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature!” (Chiffon Margarine)
• “They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.” (M&Ms)
• “Shhh. Ancient Chinese secret!” (Calgon Detergent)
• “Spend like Santa, save like Scrooge.” (Canadian Tire)
• “Does she or doesn’t she?” (Clairol)
• “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is.” (Alka Seltzer)
• “Have it your way.” (Burger King)
• “It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.” (Timex)
• “Where do you want to go today?” (Microsoft)

What did you get called in school that you hated? Hey, keep it clean eh?

• That was not dead air you just heard, that was me using sign language to introduce the next tune for the hearing impaired.
• Most addictions have side effects. Overeating has side, front, and rear effects.
• Grandparents are the people who think your kids are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Today’s Question: You are more likely to suffer intense allergic symptoms if a cat has THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Dark coloring. (Allergic reactions increase with the darkness of fur color, according to Long Island College Hospital research.)

Never name a pig you plan to eat.

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