Wednesday, May 10, 2017 Edition: #5971


★ Now that she has her clothes back on, Madonna can go back to chastising the planned unauthorized biopic of the early stages of her career.  Apparently #1 on the producer’s wish -list for the title role…is none other than Paris Jackson.  When news of the doc first leaked, Madonna spoke out against it on her Instagram account, posting: “Nobody knows what I know and what I have seen.”  Following the backlash, the film’s producers are said to be keen to cast someone the star will like.  And apparently Paris fits the bill.
(Which is a bit odd, as Madonna and Paris’ father Michael had a long running feud after a brief romance in the early-80s)
★ Famously surly TV chef Gordon Ramsey sent fans into a frenzy when he broke with tradition and complimented a photograph of a fan’s dish. When Twitter user Bridgett, from Boca Raton, Florida, uploaded a photo and asked Ramsay what he thought of the mouth-watering skillet pork loin her fiancé had prepared for dinner, Ramsay replied with a simple, “Marry Him”.
(Well, it DID look delicious!)
-New Zealand Herald
★ Colin Farrell celebrated being sober for 10 years on ‘Ellen’ this week. Farrell, who turns 41 on May 31, says, “I love getting older except getting hair in strange places and losing hair in not-so-strange places.”
★ Fans of HBO’s ‘Big Little Lies’ got a surprise when Reese Witherspoon appeared to hint there might be a second season of the dark comedy in the works.  The actress and producer posted a photo to Instagram showing herself with Laura Dern and Nicole Kidman.  ‘Spending #SundayFunday with these ladies … working on some new lies,’ she wrote alongside the snap.
– Daily Mail
★ Chrissy Teigen has clarified comments she made about having plastic surgery, insisting she was joking. During an event celebrating her new makeup line, Tiegen said that everything about her face was “fake.” Chrissy also admitted to having liposuction on her armpit.  Her Tweet about the comments included a reminder to herself to “never ever joke, ever”.  She is sticking to the story that she had her armpits done, except it “Clearly came back”.
–Toronto Sun
★ Patrick Dempsey has joined the all-star cast for the special sequel to ‘Love Actually’. The former Grey’s Anatomy star will feature in ‘Red Nose Day Actually’, the 10-minute follow-up to the 2003 romantic comedy,  which is to air as part of NBC’s Red Nose Day Special later this month.
–Toronto Sun

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global):  Billy Crudup, Ariel Winter, Wale featuring G-Eazy
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV):  Tina Fey, Alessandro Nivola, Dirty Projectors featuring DAWN
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global):  Nick Offerman, Megan Mullally, Aaron Taylor Johnson, Dave Matthews, Tim Reynolds
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Kelly Ripa, Zach Woods, Dan Mintz, Thaddeus Dixon
• “Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Ben McKenzie, Amy Brenneman, Conor Oberst
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV):  Kathryn Hahn, Froth, Lucy Gillespie
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Rashida Jones, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Danger Mouse & Sam Cohen
• “The View” (ABC/CTV):  Mayim Bialik
• “The Talk” (CBS):  Caitlyn Jenner
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Matthew Perry
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV):  Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tom Holland
• “The Real” (FOX): Faith Evans, guest co-host Kelly Osbourne
• “Survivor” (CBS): “It Is Not a High Without a Low” An immunity challenge brings loved ones together; one castaway receives invaluable advice.

• Britney Spears – an Edmonton superfan is selling seven outfits worn by the pop icon.  Dana Proctor, owner of Surfco in the West Edmonton Mall, is selling the collection together and hopes to make $1 Million. The stage and award show outfits are on display at her store and bids are being accepted on eBay.  At last check, the highest bid was $99,995.
(Does it include her classic ‘cutoffs worn while exiting a gas station restroom without footwear’ outfit?)
• Harry Styles – has secretly purchased a mansion in New York City for almost $9 million. The 23-year-old singer already has properties in Los Angeles and London. The new spot has a 71-foot indoor pool, private spa, and a gym for an anytime-workout. (At $9 mil, I hope it has a lot more than that!)
• Whitney Houston – her long-rumored secret romance with her best friend and assistant Robyn Crawford has been detailed in the new documentary ‘Whitney: Can I Be Me’, which had its world premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival. Those who have seen it say it points convincingly to signs that Crawford’s relationship with Whitney was more than platonic, and that her eventual exile from Houston’s life was a big factor in the singer’s undoing.
• George Michael – his partner has revealed how he flushed the star’s secret hard drugs stash to try to help end his crippling addiction. Kenny Goss, who was with the music icon for almost 20 years, says he watched as Michael’s intake of crack cocaine, ecstasy and 25 joints a day helped destroy their relationship.
• Carly Simon – after more than 50 years, she has sung the mysterious ‘lost verse’ of her hit ‘You’re So Vain’.  Over the years, there has been much conjecture over exactly who the song is about.  Although the missing verse, which Carly wrote but never recorded, doesn’t reveal the subject of her song, here are the lyrics:
“A friend of yours revealed to me / That you loved me all the time / Kept it secret from your wives / You believed it was no crime / You called me once to ask me things / I couldn’t quite divine / Maybe that’s why I have tried to dismiss you, tried to dismiss you.”  The first performance of the never-previously heard “lost” verse was featured on the  BBC Four documentary ‘Classic Albums: Carly Simon – No Secrets’.
(The frontrunners: Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger and David Geffen.)
• John Mellencamp – has joined the growing chorus of rockers who believe that rock is dead…or dying.  He laments that he has two sons in their early 20s who have never listened to a complete album.  Responding to Ray Davies’ statement that rock will one day make a comeback, Mellencamp says, “It’s not going to come back. We’ve seen it. It happened … it’s like we had a 50-year run of a particular type of music and history will tell us that.”
• Jason Aldean – he and his wife, Brittany Kerr, are expecting their first child together. The couple shared the exciting news on Instagram.  Quote: “Been hard to keep this a secret, but we couldn’t be happier to add to our family.”
• Brad Paisley – will be hitting the road throughout this summer and early fall for his 2017 ‘Weekend Warrior World Tour’. From mid-May through late September, the singer will perform throughout the United States and Canada, as well as in Sweden and Norway.

We’ve all seen a report on a new weight-loss method or a new miracle treatment for a deadly disease, and then seen another, study saying the opposite a week or 2 later.  That’s because many medical studies are junk. It even has a name: “the reproducibility crisis.”  Some in the medical community have observed that up to 2/3 of the ‘sexiest’ cutting edge reports are later ‘disconfirmed’.  For any study to have legitimacy, it must be replicated, yet only half of medical studies celebrated in the media actually hold water under serious follow-up scrutiny, according to a new…..<AHEM>…  Though making mistakes is a key part of the scientific process, this level of failure slows scientific progress, wastes time and resources and costs U.S. taxpayers excesses of $28 billion a year, according to NPR science correspondent Richard Harris, the author of a new book on the subject.  His advice: “When you read something, take it with a grain of salt.”
(But remember, semi-credible studies show that you should pay close attention to your salt intake…)
(Great.  NOW what are we gonna talk about?)
-NY Post

When you sit down at a restaurant, do you expect a tall glass of cold water?  The answer seems to depend on where you live.  A few ‘water facts’ from Ernie Smith, the editor of Tedium:
• In the U.S, you can generally expect a cold glass of water to be placed in front of you shortly after being seated (unless you are in the south…then expect sweet tea!)
• In Canada, you generally have to ask for it.
• In France and in many parts of Italy, water is not drunk at all, because it is not fit to drink. But French etiquette demands that water be served at formal dinners.
• Most Europeans avoid drinking tap water in general—not because it isn’t safe; they just don’t want to spoil a perfectly good meal with such a ‘bland’ liquid.
• If you ask for water at a restaurant in many parts of Europe, it’s an immediate tell that you’re a tourist. (You know, aside from the fact that you are speaking ENGLISH!) The water isn’t free, and it’s generally served in a small glass bottle. And the waiter may in fact roll their eyes at you.
• North American wait staff are also challenged by constant requests to refill your water glass. From the ‘Bitchy Waiter’ blog: “The thing is though, a glass of tap water doesn’t add to our check average, which means it does not increase our tip, and the bottom line is that servers want to do things that are going to make them more money.”
(But if I ask for water and DON’T get it, you can bet it will affect your tip the OTHER way!)

The cliché gift for a teacher is an apple, but in the 19th century, it was common practice. Traditional thinking connected “The Tree of Knowledge” from the Bible as being an apple tree. Since teachers are to be knowledgeable on many subjects, students would give them apples. Students’ families also would give their teachers food as a way to support them because schools back then weren’t funded by the government.


1955 [62] Chris Berman, Greenwich CT, ESPN/ABC-TV sportscaster (“SportsCenter”, “Monday Night Countdown”, “Sunday NFL Countdown”, “Baseball Tonight”)
1960 [57] Bono (Paul Hewson), Dublin, Ireland, rock singer (U2-”Vertigo”, “Beautiful Day”)/only person nominated for an Oscar, Grammy, Golden Globe, and Nobel Prize
1978 [39] Kenan Thompson, Atlanta, GA, TV Actor (“Kenan & Kel”, “Saturday Night Live”)

• “Clean Up Your Room Day”. What, once a year? Were you born in a barn?
• “Trust Your Intuition Day”, a day to listen to your ‘gut feelings’ and act upon them. Is it true … are women better at this than men?
• “World Lupus Day”, to create awareness of the potentially fatal auto-immune disease capable of damaging virtually any part of the body. 9-out-of-10 people with lupus are women (such as Selena Gomez).
• “Receptionists’ Day”, to give recognition to receptionists and the valuable contributions they make to the companies they work.
• “Trust Your Intuition Day”, a day to listen to your ‘gut feelings’ and act upon them. Is it true … are women better at this than men?
• “National Shrimp Day”, Some shrimpy wack facts:
1. Most of the shrimp consumed in the United States comes from the Atlantic and Pacific coasts and the Gulf Coast.
2. Generally speaking, the colder the water the smaller and more succulent the shrimp.
3. Shrimp change color when you cook them due to a heat induced chemical change in their shells.
4. Jumbo and colossal shrimp are referred to as prawns – although the prawn is actually a different species.
5. The Bubba Gump Shrimp Company Restaurant was inspired by 1994 film Forrest Gump. It operates about 40 restaurants worldwide.

• “World Lupus Day”, to create awareness of the potentially fatal auto-immune disease capable of damaging virtually any part of the body. 9-out-of-10 people with lupus are women (such as Selena Gomez).

[Thurs] Twilight Zone Day
[Thurs] Eat What You Want Day
[Fri] Nurses Day
[Fri] Limerick Day

2011 [06] Microsoft announces plans to purchase Internet phone service Skype for $8.5 billion

2010 [07] NYC’s Apollo Theater begins installing bronze plaques on the sidewalk outside the building of legends with close ties to the venue (among the first: Ella Fitzgerald, James Brown, Michael Jackson, Smokey Robinson)

2015 [02] Cuban president Raul Castro meets with Pope Francis at the Vatican as a gesture of gratitude for the pontiff’s role in facilitating renewed diplomatic ties between Cuba and the USA

2013 [04] NYC’s One World Trade Center becomes the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere


Use ‘em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Taurus – You will find work in a strange office in which everyone is happy, no one makes irritating small talk about reality TV, and the work is challenging and rewarding.
• Aries – You will soon embark on a long journey over water by night, which will be extremely romantic until you figure out how low the pilot is flying.
• Gemini – Your life will be cut tragically short next week by the untimely discovery that your breadmaker can also be used to make doughnuts.
• Cancer – Love flickers, love fades, and love can gutter and die, but love is still better than those stupid, irritating compact fluorescent bulbs
• Leo – You claim to be a champion of truth and beauty, but you still can’t name three poems by Dean Young.
• Virgo – Future archaeologists will find your desiccated skeleton exactly where you starved, midway between two 64-ounce bags of Bugles.
• Libra – You may be heartbroken, but you can no more stop him from leaving than you can stop the toaster from falling into your bathtub Thursday.
• Scorpio – It’s time you learned to treat people as individuals instead of mathematically predictable members of an aggregate set, no matter how well that works.
• Sagittarius – The men in lab coats will once more come for you one dark night this week, but it’s just because they left one of their lab coats at your place last time.
• Capricorn – Your plan to dig an escape tunnel over the next three years using only a spoon stolen from the cafeteria will utterly dumbfound everyone else at the office.
• Aquarius – They thought they had you pegged. They thought they could screw you over and you’d just take it lying down. They were wrong. You’re thrashing about in ecstasy like a crazy person. It’s a little freaky.
• Pisces – Your life will continue on pretty much the way it always has.
– Adapted from

Horticulture is one screwed-up way of saying ‘gardening’.

Color is not an indicator of the taste or ripeness of what?
a. Apple
b. Grape
c. Cranberry [CORRECT]
d. Mushroom

☎What would you name your boat if you had one?

Question: Approximately one-third of all women will clean this today. What?
Answer: Their bellybutton

It’s funny how people who know the least about you always have the most to say.

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