Monday, May 11, 2015           Edition: #5448


Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ In another instalment of the ongoing struggle between record labels and streaming sites, Sony has removed a number its artists from Swedish-based site SoundCloud in a dispute over royalties. Negotiations between major labels and SoundCloud have deteriorated and more labels and artists are believed to be considering the same course of action. Among the artists whose original music Sony has pulled from the site: Adele, Hozier, Kelly Clarkson, Miguel, and Passion Pit.
– ContactMusic.com
★ The king & queen of daytime TV talk, Steve Harvey and Ellen DeGeneres, are joining forces on a new variety show featuring kids called “Little Big Shots”. Harvey will host the hour-long show on NBC-TV, which has ordered up 8 episodes to begin with. “Little Big Shots” will feature performances and interviews featuring musical and dancing prodigies, as well as other talented wünderkinds. The new show will further crowd Harvey’s TV schedule, which includes his eponymous talk show and the game show “Family Feud”.
– USAToday.com
★ 35-year-old Brit actress Kelly Brook says she’s ”going off to cry” following the cancellation of her NBC-TV sitcom “One Big Happy”, which lasted only 6 episodes. She’s taken to Instagram to thank her co-stars and to express her sadness that the show has already been axed. The Ellen Degeneres-backed show was cancelled due to underwhelming audience ratings as well as poor reviews from TV critics.
– Bang Showbiz
★ And the female intruder Chris Brown found naked in bed at his Agoura Hills CA home last Wednesday has pleaded not guilty to felony charges of stalking, vandalism, and burglary. Brown returned home from Las Vegas to find Amira Ayeb, an aspiring singer from Tunisia, who’d reportedly ripped doors off hinges, painted “I love you” on walls, and branded Brown’s cars with her name. He called the cops and the 21-year-old was immediately arrested. In court on Friday she was hit with a protective order banning her from contacting Brown for 3 years. She’s facing up to 7 years in the slammer.
– TMZ.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Bates Motel” (A&E) – The 3rd season finalé.
• “Castle” (ABC/CTV) – Season 7 finalé.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – The Word (“The Word”).
• “Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (Comedy Central/CTV) – John Legend (“Love In the Future”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – The 4 remaining couples perform dances that include a Viennese waltz.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Matt & Kim (“New Glow”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Halsey (“Room 93″).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Ex-Civil Wars singer Joy Williams (“Venus”).
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Jordin Sparks (“Right Here, Right Now”).
• “Queen Latifah” (syndicated) – Jamie Foxx (“Hollywood: A Story of a Dozen Roses”, out May 18th). Rerun.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Carlemagne (“We Can Build an Island”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Death Cab for Cutie (“Kintsugi”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The top 5 perform; Nate Ruess (“AhHa”) performs.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé –  She credits a plant-based diet with improving her overall well-being, but the 33-year-old tells “New York Times” she rarely spends time in the kitchen preparing meals. Quote: ”I don’t really cook, but I’m a really good taste-tester.”
• Brandon Flowers – The Killers frontman says he’s sick of recording stars stealing other artists’ music and he’s “150% in agreement” with the recent court ruling that Pharrell Williams and Robin Thicke must pay royalties from their hit “Blurred Lines” to Marvin Gaye’s estate.
• Britney Spears – Today the video for her collaboration with Iggy Azalea, “Pretty Girls”, is officially released. The song will be performed live for the first time on May 17th at the 2015 Billboard Music Awards.
• Christina Milian – She’s revealed that her new song “Rebel” is all about her new man … rapper Lil Wayne.
• Jay Z – He & wife Beyoncé have reportedly paid $2.5 million for a Spanish Baroque-style property in New Orleans LA, which was originally built as a church in the popular Garden District in the 1920s. They’ve become regular visitors to the Big Easy since Beyonce’s sister, Solange Knowles, moved there from NYC in 2013.
• Lady Gaga – She reportedly wants to have children pronto. She got engaged to actor Taylor Kinney in February but they’re unlikely to tie the knot until next year at the earliest. A source tells “Heat” magazine she’s more interested in building a family ASAP than having a ceremony.
• Little Big Town – They’re again #1 on the ‘Billboard Country Songs’ chart for this week with “Girl Crush”.
• Maroon 5 – The man who threw confectioner’s sugar at Adam Levine as he showed up for an appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” last Wednesday has been sentenced to 3 years probation and counseling sessions. Navid Farsi pleaded no contest to one charge of battery.
• One Direction – They’ll be appearing at this Sunday’s Billboard Music Awards in their first public outing since Zayn Malik quit the band back in March. But 1D will not be performing, just presenting an award.
• Prince – An hour of his “Rally 4 Peace” event in Baltimore MD yesterday streamed live for free via Jay Z’s new Tidal music service. “Rolling Stone” reports the service also pledged to match all donations made through its website.
• Sam Smith – In addition to vocal cord troubles he now admits he’s suffering symptoms of stress, including a body rash that’s causing extreme itchiness. His vocal cord operation is apparently booked for sometime this week; he plans to resume his tour on July 3rd in the UK.

TOP BABY NAMES:
Britain’s new royal baby is not just a princess, but she’s on-trend too. ‘Charlotte’ is now the 10th-most-popular girls’ name, according to a new listing from the US Social Security Administration. The top female & male baby names over the past year …
GIRLS:
1. Emma
2. Olivia
3. Sophia
4. Isabella
5. Ava
BOYS:
1. Noah
2. Liam
3. Mason
4. Jacob
5. William
While they’re still nowhere near the top, two names are notable for how far they’ve jumped up the list. The male name Bode [BOE-dee] has risen 645 spots to #783; for girls, the name Aranza [Ah-RAWN-zuh] has jumped 3,625 spots to #607. (Hey where’s Ziggy on here?)
– HuffingtonPost.com

GROW YOUR OWN GUAC:
There’s currently a global avocado shortage, bad news for guacamole fans. But now even the most horticulturally-challenged can grow avocados at home. The ‘AvoSeedo’ is the invention of Canadian Daniel Kalliontzis, who’s just launched the product after a successful Kickstarter campaign. One of the main problems with growing avocados is getting them to germinate, and that’s the problem the gadget tackles. Basically, you just place an avocado pit in the device – a small plastic bowl that features an indentation with a hole in it – then put the whole thing in water, making sure the level is kept topped up. After a few weeks, the pit germinates, allowing you to plant it. (And hopefully not kill it, if you’re as good at gardening as us.)
NET: https://www.avoseedo.com
– Metro.co.uk

BS THINGS EVERY WOMAN NEEDS TO DO TO GET A BIKINI BODY:
(Spoiler: You already have one.)
✓ Eat what you normally eat because you’re a living human with caloric needs.
✓ Exercise because it keeps you healthy, not because you’re trying to correct ‘problem areas’.
✓ Stop comparing your bikini body to someone else’s.
✓ Forget about celebs in bikinis. They have trainers, nutritionists, and hot-shot photographers to make them look good.
✓ Check out beach photos of yourself as a kid. Just look how carefree and happy you were!
✓ Bring your biggest cheerleader with you when shopping, the one who makes you feel like a supermodel.
✓ Pick out a bikini that makes you feel excited instead of terrified.
✓ Then wear it and quit worrying, knowing that you are more than just your body anyway.
– Edited from Cosmopolitan.com

BS AMAZING CAT FACTS:
• The sound of rustling aluminum foil can give some cats seizures.
– “Daily Telegraph”
• Snuggling up to your cat can actually be good for you. Because their purr vibrations are in the 20-to-140 Hz range, they can have therapeutic effects. Among them are lowered stress and blood pressure.
– “Mental Floss Magazine”

BS CHRONOMETER 05.11.15


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1980 [35] Holly Vallance (Vukadinović), Fitzroy, Australia, TV actress (“Prison Break” 2005-06, “Neighbours” 1999-2005)/pop singer (“Naughty Girl”, “Kiss Kiss”)

1982 [33] Jonathan Jackson, Orlando FL, TV actor (‘Avery Barkley’ on “Nashville” since 2012)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Day”, promoting awareness of the syndrome officially known as Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, or ‘M-E’. Today is also “Fibromyalgia Awareness Day”, a similar malady that can cause debilitating fatigue, sleep disturbance, and joint stiffness.

• “Eat What You Want Day”, a day to ignore all the warnings, avoid worrying and counting calories, and thereby fight our obsession with being thin. (Okay, so if healthfulness is not in play, what do you really, really want?)

• “Root Canal Appreciation Day”, apparently started by some masochist somewhere. By comparison, what would make you appreciate a root canal? Watching someone’s PowerPoint presentation about sales projections?

• “Women’s Check-Up Day 2015″, observed annually on the Monday after Mothers Day to encourage women to book a medical appointment in order to ensure ongoing health.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2000 [15] George Clooney makes a surprise return appearance on NBC-TV’s “ER” as ‘Dr Doug Ross’ (he’d left the show in 1998 after 5 seasons to pursue big-screen stardom)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1981 [34] Legendary reggae musician Bob Marley dies of brain cancer in Miami FL at age 36  (today is “Bob Marley Day” in Jamaica)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2000 [15] The population of India officially crosses the 1 billion mark, making it the world’s 2nd billionaire country after China

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2002 [13] ‘World’s Largest Omelette’, created as a fundraiser by the Lung Association in Brockville ON, weighs in at 2.95 tonnes (6,510 lb)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] International Nurses Day
[Tues] Limerick Day
[Wed] Cannes Film Festival opens (France)
[Wed] Donate a Day’s Wages to Charity
[Wed] 3rd Shift Workers Day
[Wed] Receptionists Day
[Thurs] U2′s “Innocence + Experience Tour” opens (Vancouver BC)

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Craft Beer Week / Etiquette Week / Food Allergy Awareness Week / Hospital Week / Neuropathy Awareness Week / Nursing Home Week / Police Week / Reading is Fun Week / Salute to Moms 35+ Week / Salvation Army Week / Stuttering Awareness Week / Transportation Week / Universal Family Week / Women’s Health Week / Work at Home Moms Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 22 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS SIGNS YOUR CAR NEEDS CLEANING:
• On the way to the fishing hole, anglers stop by your windshield for bait.
• Greenpeace won’t let you move your vehicle for fear of displacing dung beetles.
• Neighborhood kid offers to “Mow your Volvo, sir?”
• Your pine tree air freshener is now a protected old growth forest.
• Satellite photos reveal crop circles on your roof.
• The words “Wash Me” are scribbled on your trunk … chiseled with a jackhammer.
• Visits to the farm always result in pigs humping your tires.
• When you blow the horn, prairie dogs pop up from the hood.
• That poopy smell coming from under all those McDonald’s bags? Your missing baby!
– First published in “BS” 1999.

BS WAYS TO DEAL WITH STRESS:
✓ Make a list of things to do … which you have already done.
✓ Look right into a security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
✓ Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
✓ Go into a fitting room and yell really loudly: “Hey! We’re out of toilet paper in here!”
✓ Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they’re in jail.
✓ Move a ‘Caution – Wet Floor’ sign to a carpeted area.
✓ Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and put it back in the wrapper.
✓ While shopping, grab 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren’t looking.
– First published in “BS” 2012.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ When you were younger, what invention were you certain we’d have by now that we currently don’t?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Have you been to Walmart lately? You have to be 300 lbs to get the automatic doors to open.

BS -U-PICK TRIVIA:
• 66 years ago today (1949) the country of Siam gave itself a different name. Which was it?
a. Micronesia.
b. Thailand. [CORRECT]
c. Botswana.
– Wikipedia.org

• Which animal’s milk does not curdle?
a. The camel. [CORRECT]
b. The yak.
c. The common housefly.
– “Amazing Animal Facts”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Whenever you’re on vacation, there’s a 30% chance you’ll do THIS.
Answer: Leave something behind.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Whatever you are, be a good one.

WELCOME NEWBIES:
Lasse Roldkjær @ Strandvejen, Denmark; Jawid Cader @ KISS FM Colombo, Sri Lanka; Krystina Kretschmer @ Mountain Radio [CJPR] Crowsnest AB; Samuel Granato @ Grand Prairie TX.


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