Monday, May 13, 2013            Edition: #4983

When You Can’t Dazzle Them with Brilliance, Baffle Them With Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
✳ Just as Kree Harrison and Candice Glover get set to compete on “American Idol’s” 12th season finalé (Wednesday-Thursday), the sole original judge, Randy Jackson, has announced he’s leaving the show after this season. The news comes as rumors are swirling that “American Idol” will clean house at the judges’ table, and producer Nigel Lythgoe might also be leaving. (Time to shut ‘er down!)
– FMQB.com
✳ Negotiations between Bravo and the cast of “The Real Housewives of New York” for Season 6 are at a standstill. The women have delayed production by banding together to demand more money, but the network is determined not to give in. The 4 stars already received raises on their previous salaries, which reportedly ranged from $175,000-to-$500,000. Additionally, they’re allowed to market other business ventures and products on the show. One insider says: They’re getting greedy and feeling entitled. They are all replaceable.” (See ‘Charlie Sheen’.)
– TheWrap.com
✳ “Glee” creator Ryan Murphy’s same-sex family comedy “The New Normal” has been axed by NBC-TV after a single season. The NBC musical drama “Smash” is also among the latest victims of TV cuts after struggling to find an audience for 2 seasons, putting Katherine McPhee, Debra Messing, and Megan Hilty out of a job. Meantime, ABC-TV has deep-sixed Reba McEntire’s comedy “Malibu Country”. (Which show that hasn’t been dumped deserves to be?)
– WENN.com
✳ Filming of the new “Star Wars” movie will take place in England, returning the franchise to its British roots. The 6 previous films in the series were all partly filmed in the UK. “Star Wars: Episode VII” will be helmed by director JJ Abrams and is scheduled to be released in 2015. (It will likely NOT be titled “Star Wars VII: Eat Our Dust, You Trekkie Bastards” or “Star Wars: Episode … Ahh, Forget It, Just Send Your Money Directly to Disney”.)
– Reuters.com
✳ Kim Kardashian and baby-daddy Kanye West are both sporting bumps these days, but in Kanye’s case it’s a nasty red bump on the head after he … walked into a street sign. Seems Kanye, distracted by a horde of paparazzi following him and his girlfriend, smacked his head on a ‘Wrong Way’ sign as he scurried to enter a restaurant. Although photographers kindly asked if he was okay he yelled: “Stop taking f—ing pictures!” Moments later, he walked back out of the restaurant to shout at a shocked photographer again. (Pressure’s getting to him. Bye bye, Kim!)
– RadarOnline.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Lady Antebellum (“Golden”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Family Of the Year (“Loma Vista”). Rerun.
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) – Each couple in the final 5 performs 2 routines.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Demi Lovato (“Demi”, released tomorrow).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Goo Goo Dolls (“Magnetic”, out June 11th). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – White Lung (“Sorry”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Vampire Weekend (“Modern Vampires Of the City”, out tomorrow).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Luke Bryan performs his new single “Crash My Party”. His “Dirt Road Diaries Tour” begins Friday in Virginia Beach, Virginia.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Pistol Annies (“Annie Up”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – LL Cool J (“Authentic”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The top 12 contestants perform.
• Yahoo! On The Road – Tonight the world’s first ‘mobile entertainment & innovation festival’ continues with Fall Out Boy in Madison, Wisconsin. As usual, the show is being streamed live.
NET: http://ontheroad.yahoo.com

TONIGHT’S TV SEASON FINALÉS:
• “Castle” (ABC/CTV).
• “How I Met Your Mother” (CBS/CityTV).
• “90210” series finalé (CW).
• “2 Broke Girls (CBS/CityTV).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Beatles – The new musical “Let It Be” will be hitting Broadway in NYC this Summer, with previews beginning July 16th. The production will include 40 Beatles songs, including “Help!” and “Hey Jude”. As of now, the cast and creative and design teams have not been announced.
• Beyoncé – British Airways accidentally sent her hair to Brussels instead of Budapest. So B’s hairdresser had to be flown to Belgium to seek it out and return it in time for the next gig on her “Mrs Carter Tour”.
• Britney Spears – She’s seemingly confirmed her long-rumored Las Vegas residency in “Shape” magazine, saying she’s doing 90 minutes of yoga twice weekly and hour-long cardio sessions 3 times a week to get in top condition. It’s thought the shows will open in November.
• Jennifer Lopez – She has signed with producer/songwriter RedOne’s 2101 Records for her 10th studio album, due later this year. J-Lo and RedOne had a global hit with their 2011 collaboration “On The Floor”.
• Kanye West – He’s reportedly filmed a cameo for the upcoming “Anchorman 2” movie sequel. A new report says he was part of a big fight scene that was shot in Atlanta, Georgia last week. (Him and photographers?)
• New Kids On the Block – They’ve launched fan cruises each year since reuniting in 2008 and the 5th is casting off this Saturday from Miami, Florida. The 4-day cruise features a stop in the Bahamas.
• Psy – Hundreds of screaming students have welcomed him as a guest lecturer at Harvard University. The South Korean pop star (real name Park Jae-sang) once studied management at nearby Boston University. The highlight of his address: “Life is weird.”
• Rolling Stones – Jonas Akerlund, who directed the “Doom & Gloom” video, hopes 69-year-old Mick Jagger will consider movie acting after a 12-year hiatus. The Swedish filmmaker says: “He is in great shape and looks awesome. So the role is there for him in one of my films, for sure.”

LIKE THIS IS ACTUALLY GONNA HAPPEN:
After just 2 weeks, some 78,000 people have applied for the chance to leave Earth forever and live on Mars for a reality TV series. “The Mars One” project aims to establish a human settlement on the Red Planet by 2023 and televise every aspect of the decade-long mission. Successful candidates must make it through a 2-year selection process and train for another 7 years before heading to Mars, never returning to Earth. Organizers expect more than a half-million applicants before the August 31st deadline. (Each pays an entry fee of about $75, meaning producers will make out like bandits with 37.5 million before shooting even begins.)
– Orange.co.uk

MOVING ON UP?
Where you stand in an elevator reflects your social status. A new study of elevator behavior based on observations at 2 of the tallest office towers in Adelaide, Australia has found that people decide where they will stand based on a micro social hierarchy, established within seconds of entering the elevator. A few highlights …
✓ More senior men direct themselves toward the rear of elevator cabins.
✓ Younger men most often take a spot in the middle.
✓ Women of all ages and status tend to stand at the front, closest to the door.
✓ Men are more likely to look in elevator mirrors to see themselves.
✓ Women tend to avoid eye contact with both mirrors and other users.
✓ Both men and women find it disconcerting if someone stands facing the back of the elevator.
– DailyMail.co.uk

AND THE CROWD GOES MILD:
Foreign visitors to North Korea are allowed to attend soccer matches alongside their minders, but those who have reveal that football in this secretive republic has little in common with the passion and glamour of Europe’s major leagues. There are no queues, no hotdog stands, no chants, and certainly no flags or scarves in sight. The crowd is mainly men who sit silently, wearing identical dark suits and red ties, each sporting a tiny enamel badge on the left breast, not promoting their football club but the ‘Great Leader’. Some in the stands are soldiers in uniform, who quietly read paperbacks and show no interest in the game. (Oddly, North Korean libraries are full of hooligans!)
– “BBC News Magazine”

BS REASONS WOMEN ARE STRESSED THIS MONTH:
• ‘5 Makeup Mistakes That Are Aging You’ (“Elle”)
• ‘The Importance of Tummy Time’ (“Fit Pregnancy”)
• ‘Talking About Your Love Handles Makes Your Friends Slowly Hate You’ (“Cosmopolitan”)
• ‘The Ultimate Perfect Skin Guide From A-Z’ (“Glamour”)
• ‘How to Get Beautiful Legs’ (“Women’s Day”)
• ‘Are You Boring in Bed?’ (“Ladies’ Home Journal”)

SPOTTING SPOILERS:
17-year-old Jennie Lamere has created new software designed to stop people from finding out the storylines of TV shows and movies on Twitter. The code blocks tweets mentioning preset keywords. Lamere came up with the idea after getting tired of having her own favorite shows, “Dance Moms” and “Pretty Little Liars”, spoiled by mentions on Twitter. She now plans to develop her plug-in called ‘Twivo’ commercially. (Yeah, don’t you hate it when someone spoils the lame joke in the closing scene of a “Two-and-a-Half Men” episode?)
– TheGlobeandMail.com

WHY PHONES ARE LIKE YAWNS:
A new University of Michigan study suggests that using a phone is contagious. Researchers have found that we are twice as likely to talk on our mobile phones or check for messages if a companion does the same. Researchers think that may be because checking the phone creates an ‘alternative outlet’ for our attention and may be linked to a fear of ‘social exclusion’, whereby a person fears being ‘left out of the loop’. (Or is it just something to do when you can’t think of anything to say?)
– Telegraph.co.uk

BS AMAZING FACT:
6 million feral pigs live in the USA. (That’s no way to talk about Alabama!)
– “The Economist”

BS CHRONOMETER 05.13.13


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [63] Stevie Wonder (Steveland Hardaway), Saginaw MI, oldies singer-songwriter with over 30 top 10 hits & 25 Grammy Awards (“Sunshine of My Life”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)

1964 [49] Stephen Colbert, Washington DC, comedian/TV host (“The Colbert Report” since 2005)/comedy writer-reporter (“The Daily Show” 1997-2005)

1966 [47] Darius Rucker, Charleston SC, country singer (“Wagon Wheel”, “This”)/former pop singer (Hootie & the Blowfish-“Let Her Cry”, “Only Wanna Be With You”)

1979 [34] Mickey Madden, Austin TX, pop bassist (Maroon 5-“Moves like Jagger”, “She Will Be Loved”)

1986 [27] Lena Dunham, NYC, TV comedy creator-writer-actress (‘Hannah Horvath’ on “Girls” since 2012)

1986 [27] Rob Pattinson, London UK, movie actor (“Twilight Saga”, “Water For Elephants”)

1986 [27] Candice Accola, Houston TX, TV actress (‘Caroline Forbes’ on “The Vampire Diaries” since 2009)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Leprechaun Day”, dedicated to the little elves of Ireland. According to folklore, if you catch one he has to give you his pot of gold.

• “Table Knife Appreciation Day”. It’s said that France’s Cardinal Richelieu invented the utensil on this date in 1639.

• “Tulip Day”, celebrated in several countries to welcome Spring. It’s a good excuse to drop by your favorite florist and pick up a tulip bouquet, but don’t expect their floral scent to enhance your home … tulips are virtually fragrance-free.

• “Women’s Check-up Day”, scheduled the Monday after Mothers Day to encourage women to book an appointment for a check-up with a health care professional.
NET: http://www.womenshealth.gov/nwhw/check-up-day/

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2011 [02] Surprise comedy hit “Bridesmaids” opens in movie theaters

2011 [02] “Justin Bieber: Never Say Never” 3-D biopic-concert released on DVD

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1878 [135] Ever useful petroleum product ‘Vaseline’ is first marketed

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Motorcycle Riders Day
[Tues] Chicken Dance Day
[Wed] Cannes Film Festival beings (France)
[Wed] CLIO Awards (NYC)
[Wed] Peace Officer Memorial Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Children’s Book Week / Dog Bite Prevention Week / Educational Bosses Week / Emergency Medical Services Week / Etiquette Week / Food Allergy Awareness Week / Nursing Home Week / Police Week / Reading is Fun Week / Stuttering Awareness Week / Transportation Week / Universal Family Week / Women’s Health Week / Work at Home Moms Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS WAYS TO MAKE NHL PLAYOFFS MORE EXCITING FOR NON-HOCKEY FANS:
● Only guys named ‘Stanley’ get to wear a cup.
● New snack bar item … players’ missing teeth dipped in fudge.
● Make players dress up as their favorite ‘Disney’ character.
● Goalie gloves full of angry hornets.
● Ottawa fans throw actual Senators onto the ice.
● Zamboni cleans ice DURING the 3rd period.
● Naked penalty shots.
– First published in “BS” 1998.

BS EXCUSES FOR MISSING MOTHERS DAY:
✗ Did not wish to encourage crass commercialism of yet another sacrosanct event.
✗ Calendar on wrong page, celebrated “Spay Your Cat Day” by mistake.
✗ Hand irretrievably stuck in pickle jar.
✗ Ate entire Sara Lee cheesecake … fell asleep.
✗ Hypnotized by evil dogs.
✗ A maudlin insincere card simply does not adequately express innermost feelings.
– First published in “BS” 1996.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Where would you pick as the ‘Party Capital of the World’? Las Vegas? Ibiza? Dubai? NYC?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which has the sharpest hearing in the animal kingdom?
a. Moths [CORRECT]
b. Sloths.
c. Wolves.
d. Wives.
– “Daily Mail”

BS WEB GOODIE:
In case you’ve ever wanted to lick Maria Sharapova …
NET: http://bit.ly/10qPUpC

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I call things as I see them. Otherwise, I make them up.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 3-out-of-10 drivers admit they do THIS at least once a week.
Answer: Run a red light.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You have to have a lot of patience to learn patience.
 
LOOK WHO’S BS-ING NOW!
Evan Baram @ 104.9 The Wolf [CFWF] Regina, Saskatchewan; Christopher Joseph @ FM 97 [WLAN] Lancaster, Pennsylvania; Jerry Heilman @ 103 The Bull [KJCS] Nacogdoches, Texas; Eric Fought @ Sunny 97.7 [WFDL] Fond du Lac, Wisconsin; Trina Masfina @ Power 98 [KZGZ] Hagatna, Guam; and Ross Murdock @ 100.5 FM WKXA Findlay, Ohio. Welcome, all!


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