Tuesday, May 15, 2012        Edition: #4749

Can You Believe This Sheet?

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Demi Lovato is reportedly set to join Britney Spears and LA Reid on Simon Cowell’s “The X Factor” this Fall, completing the replacement of Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger (is this a step up?) . . . A 4th masseur has now stepped forward to accuse actor John Travolta of ‘inappropriate behavior’ around spa staff (his lawyers are running out of excuses) . . . Russell Brand has done some virtual Spring cleaning by unfollowing soon-to-be ex-wife Katy Perry on Twitter, reducing the total number of Twitter users he keeps up with to 77 (geez get a life, dude) . . . Former “Harry Potter” actress Emma Watson’s new hobby is said to be pole dancing, leading to headlines in UK tabloids like “Hermione’s a Saucerer!” (huh?) . . . “Live With Kelly” host Kelly Ripa has just revealed her hubby, actor Mark Consuelos, used to be a male stripper (and you thought they met on “All My Children”) . . . Just like their British versions, “The X Factor” and “The Voice” singing competitions will be airing at the same time in America this Fall, though on different weeknights (this’ll burn out the format even quicker) . . . And the just-published new Ed Klein book, “The Amateur: Barack Obama In the White House”, claims that Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey do not get along, both trading insults about each other with close associates (Oprah allegedly says the First Lady ‘hates fat people’).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC) – Hopefuls perform for the judges in San Francisco.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Gregg Allman (“Low Country Blues”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV) – Carrie Underwood (“Blown Away”) and Alanis Morissette (“Havoc & Bright Lights”) perform; the couples face elimination.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – John Mayer (“Born & Raised”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Adam Lambert (“Trespassing”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Ting Tings (“Sounds From Nowheresville”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – The Imagineers (“See As I Say”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tenacious D (“Rize Of the Fenix”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – El-P “I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Oldies singer Carole King.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Santana (“Shape Shifter”).

TODAY’S TV SEASON FINALÉS:

✓ “Cougar Town” (ABC) – Most likely the series finalé as well.
✓ “Glee” (FOX) – 2-hour 3rd season finalé.
✓ “NCIS” (CBS) – The Navy faces a terrorist threat.
✓ “NCIS: LA” (CBS) – The team takes on a criminal mastermind in the 2-hour season finalé.

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Adam Lambert – Today his 2nd album “Trespassing” is released, featuring collaborations with Bruno Mars, Nile Rogers, Pharrell Williams and more.
• Carlos Santana – Today his new instrumental album “Shape Shifter” is out, the 1st of 3 albums he’s planned for the near future. The next will be a band album and the 3rd a celebration of family.
• Jack White – Tonight he kicks off a North American tour in support of his debut solo album “Blunderbuss” with the first gig of a 2-night stand in Nashville. The trek wraps with 2 nights in Los Angeles May 30th and 31st.
• Lisa Marie Presley – Today she releases “Storm & Grace”, her 1st album in 5 years. It was produced by T Bone Burnett and recorded at The Village in Los Angeles.
• Garbage – Another ‘90s reunion is bearing fruit as their new album “Not Your Kind of People” is released today.
• Queen – They said the wouldn’t but now it appears they will bring back frontman Freddie Mercury in hologram form to celebrate the 10th anniversary of their musical “We Will Rock You”. Brian May says the plan has been in the works for some time and he was a bit miffed being beaten to the punch by Tupac Shakur’s emergence on the stage at Coachella last month.
• Ramones – Today’s release of Joey Ramone’s posthumous album called “Ya Know?” is thanks to friends (ie: Cheap Trick, Joan Jett, Steven Van Zandt) working to complete leftover tracks that he left behind. It features 17 songs recorded as demos for and after the Ramones.
• Whitney Houston – Her 19-year-old daughter Bobbi Kristina, brother Gary, sister-in-law Pat, and mother Cissy Houston have all signed on for a new Lifetime TV reality show to be called “The Houston Family Chronicles”.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Albert Nobbs” ( R-Rated Drama ): Glenn Close received an Oscar nomination for her portrayal of a woman passing herself off as a man in order to work and survive in 19th-Century Ireland. But some 30 years after donning men’s clothing, she finds herself trapped in a prison of her own making. Co-stars Mia Wasikowska, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Janet McTeer.
• “Chronicle” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): After making an incredible discovery, 3 high school friends magically gain superpowers. Soon, though, they find their lives spinning out of control. Stars Michael B Jordan, Michael Kelly, Alex Russell. Shot in Cape Town, South Africa and Vancouver, Canada.
• “The Grey” ( R-Rated Action Adventure ): In Alaska, an oil drilling team struggles to survive after a plane crash strands them in the wild. Hunting the humans is a pack of wolves which sees them as intruders. Stars Liam Neeson, Dermot Mulroney, Frank Grillo, Dallas Roberts. Shot in British Columbia.
• “One For the Money” ( PG-13 Crime Comedy ): This adaptation of the 1st novel in Janet Evanovich’s mega-popular series stars Katherine Heigl as the unemployed, newly-divorced ‘Stephanie Plum’, who lands a job at her cousin’s bail-bond business where her first assignment puts her on the trail of a former lover. Co-stars Jason O’Mara, John Leguizamo.
• “Rampart” ( R-Rated Crime Drama): Woody Harrelson plays a war vet turned precinct cop who is dedicated to doing ‘the people’s dirty work’ and asserting his own code of justice, often blurring the lines between right and wrong to maintain his action-hero state of mind. Co-stars Robin Wright, Sigourney Weaver, Steve Buscemi, Anne Heche, Cynthia Nixon, Ice Cube.
• Also released today: “The History Of the World in 2 Hours 3-D” (Documentary); “Scooby-Doo! 13 Spooky Tales Around the World” (Animation); and “Vans Warped Tour: No Room for Rockstars” (Music).

WARRIOR FEMALES:
Biologist Marlene Zuk is the author of “Sex on Six Legs: Lessons on Life, Love & Language From the Insect World”. She says one of our misconceptions about bugs is we tend to think all insects are male. With social animals, that’s odd she says, because most people have never seen a male. All the ants raiding your sugar bowl are female. And so are the army ants that are such vicious fighters. We tend to project our human role onto insects, she notes, but bugs shatter our preconceptions about gender roles just as they do for many other things. (So where are all the males … back in the ant hill watching bigscreen sports?)
– “Discover Magazine”

TOUCHLESS TEENS:

Dr Tiffany Field of the University of Miami’s Touch Research Institute has conducted studies comparing teens in Paris with those in Miami to measure how much they touch one another during social interaction. The results show that French teens of both genders engaged in all sorts of affectionate touch – from back-rubbing to putting arms around shoulders. But in Miami, more self-stimulation was observed – flipping the hair, scratching the head, etc. Tactile stimulation increases serotonin, which counters aggressive behavior, so it may be that a lack of touch among US teens may be a contributing factor to youth violence. (Unfortunately, the majority of contact is through the knuckles.)
– “ Brain World”

PILOTS WILL DROP YOU OFF?
In a forecast for 2075 and beyond, Britain’s Institution of Mechanical Engineers predicts the following advances in passenger flight …
✓ A flying fuel station so future planes do not have to take off with fuel tanks.
✓ Commercial aircraft flying in a V-shaped formation to save power by taking advantage of the airflow generated by the plane in front.
✓ The ‘aircraft carrier’ system in which a large aircraft carries individual units that can be released over a destination and float down to the designated area where the passenger needs to go.
– Telegraph.co.uk

GIRLS AS GUARDS:
A growing number of Chinese women are choosing to join the macho world of bodyguarding. Among China’s burgeoning wealthy elite, women make up a third of the country’s millionaires. With resentment building over the widening gap between rich and poor, many of these women are now seeking personal protection. Successful entrepreneur Wen Cui founded ‘Guodun’, a personal security business, to cater to this market. She says that female clients prefer women to their often burly male counterparts as they draw less attention – and scandal. If you’ve got a female bodyguard, people will think that she’s your assistant. But if it’s a man, she says, they might get the wrong impression. (There’s an action movie script in here somewhere.)
– BBC News

ART ATTACK:

Despite the recent global recession, art gallery attendance has continued to climb. The world’s most visited art museums over the past year …
3. The British Museum … London.
2. Metropolitan Museum of Art … NYC.
1. The Louvre … Paris, attracting 8.9 million, a 5% increase over the previous year.
– “Art Newspaper”

YOUR BUTT IN A SHIRT:

A group of Japanese students in Kusatsu has developed a way to recycle cigarette butts as T-shirts and has persuaded local gaming parlors and gas stations to donate the contents of their ashtrays to their enterprise. 21-year-old Shinji Sawai began the project with friends, enlisting the help of a professor at Kyoto Institute of Technology. The group eventually succeeded in removing harmful substances from filters and processed them to make thread. About 30% of the fiber in the finished T-shirts comes from cigarette filters. (And you thought your T-shirt stank before!)
– Asahi.com

BS AMAZING FACT:

The earliest horses shrank to the size of a cat. (Making it really tough to find jockeys.)
– “New York Times”

BS CHRONOMETER 05.15.12


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [64] Brian Eno (Brian Peter George St John le Baptiste de la Salle Eno), Woodbridge UK,  record producer/songwriter (U2, Coldplay)/classic rock musician (co-founder Roxy Music)

1956 [56] Dan Patrick, TV sportscaster (“Football Night in America” since 2006)/Premiere Radio Networks host (“The Dan Patrick Show”)/sportswriter (“Sports Illustrated”)

1978 [34] David Krumholtz, NYC, movie actor (“Mr Popper’s Penguins”, “Harold & Kumar” films)/TV actor (“The Playboy Club” 2011, “Numb3rs” 2005-10)

1981 [31] Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Queens NY, TV actress (“Entourage” 2008-09, “The Sopranos” 1999-2007)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• “Chocolate Chip Day”. Hey, any excuse to mow down on a dozen warm gooey cookies fresh out of the oven is cool. Mmm, can’t you just smell ‘em?

• “Flip Your Mattress Day”, an annual turnover to help prevent a case of the ‘lumpies’.

• “International Day of Families”, established by the UN General Assembly in 1992.

• “Peace Officer Memorial Day”, an annual observance during “Police Week” by more than 21,000 police departments across North America to honor colleagues who’ve been killed in the line of duty.
NET: http://www.nationalpoliceweek.com

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .

1982 [30] Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder’s “Ebony & Ivory” begins a 7-week run atop pop charts (worst duet ever?)

1997 [15] Muzak adds 4 instrumental versions of KISS hits to its patented ‘elevator music’

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

1995 [17] 1st casino gambling website is launched on the Internet (now there’s a gazillion of them)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2010 [02] 16-year-old Australian sailor Jessica Watson becomes the youngest person to sail non-stop and unassisted around-the-world solo

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Biographers Day
[Wed] Sea Monkey Day
[Wed] Employee Health & Fitness Day
[Thurs] World Hypertension Day
[Fri] Endangered Species Day
[Fri] Bike to Work Day
This Week Is … Work at Home Moms Week
This Month Is … Revise Your Work Schedule Month

BULL’S BITS


MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Do you have anything to do if you work at a ‘Duty-Free Shop’?
• If you go to the ‘Missing Persons Bureau’, is there anyone there?
• What exactly is ‘midair’? Is there some other part of air besides the ‘mid’ part?
• If you get cheated by the ‘Better Business Bureau’, who do you complain to?
• When will all the rhetorical questions end?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
What new innovation was introduced during McGill (Montréal QC) at Harvard (Cambridge MA) university football games on May 14th and 15th, 1874?
a. First games with admission tickets. [CORRECT]
b. First games using goalposts. [Also CORRECT]
c. First games with pants.
(Considered the first exhibition of North American-style football, played under ‘Boston Game’ rules.)
NET: http://hvrd.me/zNWDjd

BS ‘THIS OR THAT’?

You list the options while a crew member/guest/caller picks which they think is better …
• Latte or cappuccino?
• Money or health?
• Facebook or Twitter?
• Youth or experience?
• Major League Baseball or National Hockey League?
• Egg salad or tuna salad?
• Wine or beer?
• Bikini or one-piece?
• iPhone or Blackberry?
• Apples or oranges?

BS PHONE STARTER:

☎ What’s the most unusual tourist attraction you’ve come across?

BS RANDOM JOKE:

I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts and …

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Men are twice as likely as women to do THIS and later regret it.
Answer: Make a comment on Facebook.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

The definition of a gentleman: a man who can play bagpipes but doesn’t.


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