Wednesday, May 15, 2013        Edition: #4985

Can You Believe This Sheet?

✳ Actress Angelina Jolie confirmed on Tuesday that she’s undergone a preventive double mastectomy after finding out she had a gene mutation that leads to a sharply higher risk of both breast and ovarian cancer. Writing in the “New York Times”, she said her mother’s death from cancer at age 56 and the discovery she had an 87% risk of breast cancer and a 50% risk of ovarian cancer due to the gene mutation led to her decision. (Gutsy. Could you do that?)
✳ 63-year-old actor Martin Short is putting pen to paper to write a memoir. The “Father Of the Bride” (sorta) funnyman has signed a deal with Harper Publishing to release his autobiography next Fall. The book will detail his friendships with some of Hollywood’s greatest stars, as well as the ups-and-downs of his career. Quote: “I haven’t named my book yet, but I’m toying with the title ‘If I’d Saved, I Wouldn’t Be Writing This’.” (Too bad he’s wasn’t always that clever.)
✳ “People” magazine made a controversial decision when it named Gwyneth Paltrow ‘Most Beautiful Person in the World’ last week. Now it’s come to light the self-absorbed actress apparently ordered 2 boxes of the ‘Most Beautiful’ issue. A friend contends Paltrow wants them for when she grows old and to share with family and friends, and she might send a few out as jokes to people from her past who weren’t nice to her. (Meow.)
✳ And the Victoria’s Secret Angels have decreed which famous femmes are hottest in their annual ‘What is Sexy?’ awards for the new “People” edition. Among the honors: Sexiest Bikini Body (Rihanna); Sexiest Actress (Jessica Chastain); Sexiest Sense of Humor (Jennifer Lawrence); and Sexiest Songstress (Beyoncé). Recipients don’t receive a trophy, but do get validation from the hottest ladies in the world. (Who are far sexier than any of the winners.)

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Carly Rae Jepsen performs; the finalists perform for the judges one last time. The 2-hour finalé airs tomorrow night.
• Cannes Film Festival – Tonight Baz Luhrmann’s “The Great Gatsby” opens the 66th annual 12-day fest on the French Riviera. Among this year’s in-competition films: “Only God Forgives” starring Ryan Gosling, Steven Soderbergh’s Liberace biopic “Behind the Candelabra”; and the Coen Bros’ “Inside Llewyn Davis”. The jury is chaired by Steven Spielberg and includes actress Nicole Kidman, actor Christoph Waltz (“Django Unchained”), and director Ang Lee (“Life of Pi”).
• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Cyndi Lauper (“Memphis Blues”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Beware Of the Darkness (“Orthodox”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Huey Lewis & The News (“Sports – 30th Anniversary Edition”)
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – A Silent Film (“Sand & Snow”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – The Flaming Lips (“The Terror”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Brad Paisley (“Wheelhouse”).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV2) – More hopefuls perform for the judges as the initial auditions continue.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Patty Griffin (“Children Running Through”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Pyramids (“Pyramids”); Usher (“Looking 4 Myself”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Brad Paisley again.
• Yahoo! On The Road – Tonight the ‘mobile entertainment & innovation festival’ continues with Imagine Dragons and Owl City in St Louis, Missouri. As usual, the show is being streamed live.

• “Arrow” (CW/CTV).
• “Chicago Fire” (NBC/Global).
• “CSI” (CBS/CTV) Black Sabbath guests and premieres the new track “End Of The Beginning”.
• “Supernatural” (CW).

• Aretha Franklin – The 71-year-old ‘Queen of Soul’ has axed 2 upcoming concerts (Chicago next Monday and Foxwoods Resort & Casino in Connecticut May 26th) to undergo treatment for another mystery condition.
• Cee Lo Green – He’s moving from TV singing show (“The Voice”) to reality show as TBS has ordered up 6 episodes of an unscripted show about his day-to-day activities, tentatively titled “The Cee Lo Life”. It’s expected to premiere in 2014.
• John Lennon – A new play entitled “And In the End, The Death & Life of John Lennon”, has opened in London. According to a “Telegraph” reviewer: “This attempt to get inside the mind of John Lennon just before his death is impeccably researched but completely fails to spark”. Actor Valentine Pelka certainly looks the role (
• KoRn – Tonight they start a world tour in Belle Vernon PA that travels North America through May 26th before heading to Europe. Guitarist and original band member Brian ‘Head’ Welch has been back with the band since they began recording new material in-studio.
• Paul McCartney – Tonight the 1980 concert film “Rockshow” featuring Paul McCartney & Wings is being screened for ‘one night only’ in select movie theaters. It will be released on DVD and Blu-ray on June 11th.
• Rolling Stones – During the “50 Years & Counting Tour”, Keith Richards is being kitted out in bespoke ‘Keith’ pieces from the Saint Laurent Stage Wear by Hedi Slimane collection. His tour wardrobe consists of a waistcoat, café racer jacket, silk scarves, and T-shirts.
• Usher – He’s been slapped with a lawsuit by a former nanny to his 2 sons. She’s claiming wrongful termination after she complained about not receiving overtime pay in 2011. Cecilia Duncan says she was fired last September with the alleged overtime still owing.
• – Tonight he accepts a CLIO Honorary Award at NYC’s Museum of Natural History. The CLIOs honor excellence in advertising; the Honorary Award celebrates ‘the work and talent of those who push the boundaries of creativity in advertising and beyond’.

“Star Trek Into Darkness” (PG-13 Sci-Fi Adventure ): JJ Abrams sequel to his 2009 reboot opens in IMAX theaters tonight with 2 ‘fan sneak premieres’, then in regular theaters tomorrow (contrary to some online listings). The story follows ‘Captain Kirk’ as he leads a manhunt to a war-zone world to capture a one-man weapon of mass destruction. Stars Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Benedict Cumberbatch.

✗ As wealthy parents look for creative ways to keep teenage kids hanging out at home, some are turning to architects and designers. One result is the ‘Teen Suite’ with hangout areas, sleepover space, and an ‘office’ for doing homework. One of them, recently completed in a Manhattan townhouse, includes ping-pong & billiards tables, a kitchen, a completely tricked-out home theater, and a recording studio. Estimated cost … $750,000. (Can’t but me love.)
– “Wall Street Journal”
✗ A 31-year-old Sacramento, California woman is charged with assaulting a cop after purposely blocking a deputy’s way as he was leaving Sacramento County Jail and then, for seemingly no reason, slapping him across the face. In the ensuing police report, she admits she waited in front of the jail for hours, intent on assaulting an officer to get arrested and put in jail. Why? She wanted to be locked up … to help her quit smoking. (Hon’, try the patch. Much easier.)
✗ British scientists are designing computers that can be used by dogs so they can play, operate household appliances, and even communicate with their owners by using touch screens and objects that can be shaken like an iPhone. The researchers at the Open University are working with several dog charities to train the animals and build ‘smart kennels’ equipped with the new computers. (“Hmm, think I’ll chase my tail. I’ll look that up to see how.”)
– “Daily Telegraph”

This week only, Sydney, Australia restaurant 4Fourteen is offering a special egg-and-bacon roll as part of ‘Bacon Week’. It features award-winning bacon, a pan-fried duck egg, semi-dried and smoked gourmet truss tomatoes, duck foie gras, caviar, crème fraiche, shaved truffles, and English cheddar squeezed between a handmade brioche bun. The price … $120. Head chef Carla Jones admits she doesn’t expect to sell many. (Do we get tater tots with it?)

• An Idaho Falls, Idaho father has invented interactive pajamas which, when scanned with a smartphone or tablet, can tell bedtime stories. The PJs are adorned with 47 clusters of dots that act like bar codes. Each time a child scans one, a different story is launched. They’re written in text and narrated out loud, but can also be muted so kids can read on their own. If this seems a little extravagant, keep in mind this guy has 6 kids. (Still … out-sourcing snuggle time?)
– Mail Online
• A sticky-footed robot that can climb rocky cliffs while carrying 5 times its own weight has been developed in Switzerland. The robot’s secret is its footpads, which heat rapidly to melt plastic compounds that ooze into the nooks and crannies of a surface it wants to climb, briefly bonding to it. Rapidly cooling the footpad allows the robot to disengage and take its next step. It’s thought the new gizmo could be used by mountain rescue teams, skyscraper construction crews, or to simply scoot up your wall to paint your ceiling. (Leaving gooey footprints behind.)
– “New Scientist”
• European researchers in Spain and Sweden have developed an ‘Electronic Nose’ with 32 sensors so sensitive they can distinguish between the odors emitted by pears and apples. One use for the new technology could be in the field of bio-medicine. Studies have shown that dogs can detect cancerous tumors by smelling a person’s breath. By using a sophisticated electronic nose, the disease might be diagnosed even earlier. (Suspicious wives are also interested.)
– “Globe & Mail”

Are you guilty of this bad habit that can cut your job performance by 11%? According to new research out of York University in Toronto, multitasking is a major block when it comes to retaining information. The reason seems to be that your brain simply can’t process 2 unrelated things without losing some data along the way. Anything that’s off-task can lead to a problem in recalling info later. Having a hard time staying on-task at work? Try …
✓ Disconnecting from your company’s wi-fi during meetings. (No Facebook?)
✓ Choose seating wisely, keeping co-workers’ screens out of your line of vision as well. (No other people’s Facebook?)

Dubai police use a Ferrari and a Lamborghini. (Great place to film a chase scene!)
– “Daily Telegraph”


1948 [65] Brian Eno (Brian Peter George St John le Baptiste de la Salle Eno), Woodbridge UK,  record producer/songwriter (U2, Coldplay)/classic rock musician (co-founder Roxy Music)

1956 [57] Dan Patrick, TV sportscaster (“Football Night in America” since 2006)/Premiere Radio Networks host (“The Dan Patrick Show”)/sportswriter (“Sports Illustrated”)

1981 [32] Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Queens NY, TV actress (“Guys With Kids” 2012-13, “Entourage” 2008-09, “The Sopranos” 1999-2007)

1982 [31] Brad Shultz, Bowling Green KY, indie rock guitarist (Cage The Elephant-“Shake Me Down”, “Back Against the Wall”)

• “Chocolate Chip Day”. Hey, any excuse to mow down on a dozen warm gooey cookies fresh out of the oven. Mmm, can’t you just smell ‘em?

• “Employee Health & Fitness Day”, observed on the 3rd Wednesday each May and dedicated to promoting physical activity in the workplace. (Office chair races!)

• “Flip Your Mattress Day”, an annual turnover to help prevent a case of the ‘lumpies’.

• “International Day of Families”, established by the UN General Assembly in 1992.

• “International Online Romance Day”, a day to fall in love online. (With who knows what!)

• “Peace Officer Memorial Day”, an annual observance during “Police Week” by more than 21,000 police departments across North America to honor colleagues killed in the line of duty.

2003 [10] “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” reruns a previous show, but this time entirely in claymation (back when Conan was funny)

2009 [04] Randy Bachman of the Guess Who and Bachman-Turner Overdrive is presented with Canada’s highest civilian honor, Officer of the Order of Canada

1978 [35] “Chrome”, the 1st novel involving a ‘homosexual robot love story’, hits bookstores, courtesy of author George Nader (is this a literary genre?)

1995 [18] 1st casino gambling website is launched on the Internet (now there’s a gazillion of them)

1973 [40] California Angels pitcher Nolan Ryan strikes out 12 Kansas City Royals in the 1st of a record 6 no-hitters during his lengthy career (the last coming in 1991 … at age 44)

2010 [03] 16-year-old Australian sailor Jessica Watson becomes the youngest person to sail non-stop and unassisted around-the-world

[Thurs] Biographers Day
[Fri] Bike to Work Day
[Sat] International Museum Day
[Sun] 2013 Billboard Music Awards (Las Vegas)
[Mon] Victoria Day (Canada)
This Week Is … Work at Home Moms Week
This Month Is … Revise Your Work Schedule Month


✗ Jiffy-Spay
✗ Kentucky-Fried Pinworm
✗ The Prescription Drug Swap Barn
✗ Big-and-Tall-Men’s Lacy Lingerie
✗ Wookiee’s Cookie Nook
✗ Giant Radioactive Red Lobster
✗ Grandma’s Old-Fashioned Smallpox-Infested Army Blankets
✗ Banana Dictatorship
✗ J Screw

Who was known as ‘The Pioneer of Plywood’?
a. Gottlieb Daimler.
b. Alfred Nobel. [CORRECT. The Nobel Prize creator also invented dynamite.]
c. William Ply.
– “The Bathroom Trivia Book”

☎ What’s the worst thing about trying to share living quarters with someone? (Top beef in a new poll: Sharing a bathroom.)

I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.

Question: If you’re average, you do THIS for 8 minutes each day.
Answer: Shower.

It’s always easy to see both sides of an issue that you’re not particularly concerned about.

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