Friday, May 15, 2015        Edition: #5452

Can You Believe This Sheet?

★ Tonight previews of a new stage musical version of “Bend It Like Beckham” begin in London’s West End. The 2002 film starred Parminder Nagra and a teenage Keira Knightley as aspiring soccer players. The show is scheduled to open at the Phoenix Theatre on June 24th. It’s directed by Gurinder Chadha, who also directed the film. She describes the musical as “part West End, part London Punjabi, but wholeheartedly British”.
★ Fall Out Boy rocker Pete Wentz and “Pitch Perfect” stars Brittany Snow & Elizabeth Banks are fronting the #PostItForward campaign just launched on Tumblr. The initiative is to encourage teens to share videos about personal struggles with hardship such as bullying, mental health issues, sexual assault, and self-harm, as a way to show fellow online users there are others going through similar problems and that support is available.
★ And Johnny Depp’s dogs are being threatened with death by Australian authorities. The Agriculture Ministry says he must remove his 2 Yorkshire terriers (‘Pistol’ and ‘Boo’) from the country ASAP or they will be euthanized. It seems Depp and actress-wife Amber Heard snuck the Yorkies in via private jet, thereby avoiding strict local quarantine laws. Their surreptitious action was exposed when they took the pooches to a dog groomer. Depp is in Oz to film “Pirates Of the Caribbean 5: Dead Men Tell No Tales”.

• “ACM Presents: Superstar Duets” (CBS) – Tonight country music stars scheduled to perform include Dierks Bentley, Clint Black, Luke Bryan, Kenny Chesney and Sam Hunt.
• “The Amazing Race” (CBS) – Tonight the Season 26 finalé.
• “Bessie” (HBO) – Saturday this made-for-TV movie tracks the professional highs and personal lows of legendary blues singer Bessie Smith, played by Queen Latifah.
• “Billboard Music Awards” (ABC/CTV) – Sunday live from the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, hosted by Ludacris & Chrissy Teigen. A few facts …
– Taylor Swift opens the show with the world premiere of her new video for “Bad Blood”.
– Taylor Swift leads nominations with 14, followed by Sam Smith with 13.
– Performers include Britney Spears & Iggy Azalea, Ed Sheeran, Fall Out Boy f/Wiz Khalifa, Hozier, Kanye West, Kelly Clarkson, Little Big Town w/Faith Hill, Mariah Carey, Meghan Trainor f/John Legend, Nick Jonas, Van Halen.
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – Saturday a recap outlining the journey of the remaining couples so far; what to expect in the 2-part finalé Monday & Tuesday.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Jennifer Lopez talks about her just-announced residency at Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino in Las Vegas. J-Lo’s shows run January 20-February 9 and May 22-June 12 in 2016.
• Hangout Music Festival (Gulf Shores AL) – More than 40,000 fans flock to the beach for 3 days of songs, sand, and sunshine. The 6th annual lineup: Beck, Foo Fighters, Foster the People, My Morning Jacket, Paramore, Tove Lo, Zac Brown Band and 70 other acts.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight The Budos Band (“Burnt Offering”). Rerun.
• “Mad Men” (AMC) – Sunday the series finalé, entitled “Person to Person”.
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Today Lil Jon (“Crunk Rock”).
• Rock In Rio USA (Las Vegas NV) – The 2nd weekend of the US version of the festival includes pop acts Bruno Mars, Charli XCX,  Echosmith, Ed Sheeran, Jessie J, John Legend, Tove Lo, and Taylor Swift.
• Rock On the Range (Columbus OH) – The 9th annual hard rock fest at Mapfre [‘MAH-fray’] Stadium regularly draws 100,000+ heavy-metal fans. The 2015 line-up: Anthrax, Godsmack, Halestorm, Judas Priest, Linkin Park, Marilyn Manson, Papa Roach, Rise Against, Slash f/Myles Kennedy & The Conspirators, and Slipknot.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Louis CK; musical guest Rihanna on the Season 40 finalé.
• “The Simpsons” (FOX) – Sunday the Season 26 finalé. Harry Shearer has just revealed he will no longer be with the cast next season. He’s been the voice of numerous characters since 1989. It’s unclear whether he quit or was axed.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Saturday the top 5 perform; Nate Ruess performs. Rerun.

• Beyoncé – Madison Moore, a postdoctoral research associate at King’s College London, is delivering seminars on “How to be Beyoncé” at leading universities across the UK. The lecture includes advice on how to replicate Beyoncé’s success in your own life. (Acquire thighs?)
• Brad Paisley – His “Crushin’ It World Tour” kicks off tonight in Camden NJ. Special guests are Justin Moore and Mickey Guyton. Dates run through October 3rd in West Palm Beach FL.
• Coldplay – On their website they’ve confirmed they’re working on a new album with the title “A Head Full of Dreams”. No release date or any other info as yet.
• Jennifer Hudson – She’s been added to the cast of Spike Lee’s upcoming musical “Chiraq”. Others working on the film include Common, Jeremy Piven, John Cusack, and Samuel L Jackson.
• Mumford & Sons – They’ve debuted atop the new ‘Billboard 200’ all-genre album chart with their 3rd studio release, “Wilder Mind”. It’s had the largest opening sales week for a rock band since Coldplay’s “Ghost Stories” last year.
• Phil Collins – His entire catalogue of solo albums is being remastered and reissued. The rollout of his 8 solo records kicks off this Fall with 1981’s “Face Value” and 1993’s “Both Sides”.
• Radiohead – No one knows why but a pic of frontman Thom Yorke graces the cover of an Iranian sex manual titled “Marital & Sexual Problems in Men”. It’s been spotted in an Iranian bookstore by a journalist.
• Spoon – Tonight their 2015 North American tour dates begin at the Homegrown Festival in Dallas TX. Their schedule runs through late June at the Firefly Festival in Dover DE.
• Zac Brown Band – For the 2nd week in-a-row they’re at #1 on the ‘Billboard Top Country Albums’ chart with “Jekyll + Hyde”.

• “Mad Max: Fury Road” ( R-Rated Sci-Fi Action Adventure ): Original “Mad Max” director from 1979, Australian George Miller, is at the helm. Original star Mel Gibson is too old to race across the post-apocalyptic wasteland, so Tom Hardy is now ‘Max’, a man of action and few words. Charlize Theron co-stars, playing the colorfully named ‘Imperator Furiosa’.
• “Pitch Perfect 2” ( PG-13 Musical Comedy ): A sequel to the 2012 film which developed a cult following on home video. After a humiliating command performance at Lincoln Center, the ‘Barden Bellas’ enter an international competition in order to regain their status and right to perform. Stars Anna Kendrick, Brittany Snow, Hailee Steinfeld, Rebel Wilson.
• Opening in limited release: “The Connection” (Crime Thriller); “Good Kill” (Thriller); “I’ll See You in My Dreams” (Dramedy); “Set Fire To the Stars” (Drama); “Where Hope Grows” (Drama).

Think you’ll try any of these?
• Bangladesh – Coconut water, which is high in potassium and contains other helpful ingredients such as antioxidants, ascorbic acids, and magnesium.
• Czech Republic – A breakfast that includes pickled gherkins and sausages called ‘utopenci’.
• France – After drinking too much wine, the French sooth their upset bellies and heads with a strong onion soup, bread and cheese.
• Germany – A popular remedy is rollmops … fillets of pickled herring wrapped around bits of gherkin and onion.
• Mexico – Mexicans cure hangover with vuelva a la vida (‘return to life’), which is a seafood cocktail mixed with tomato juice and the spicy vegetable concoction ‘pico de gallo’.
• Norway – ‘Lutefisk’, dried cod that has been soaked in lye, then steamed and served with butter.
• Peru – After a big night out, Peruvians usually eat fish stock with lime juice, lemon juice, garlic, and ginger.
• The Philippines – You are advised to eat a poached, fertilized duck embryo called ‘balut’. This specialty is also common in Southeast Asia, including Cambodia, Laos, and Vietnam.
• Russia – Solyanka, a thick soup that contains smoked meat, chunks of beef, cabbage, pickles, black olives, lemon slices, capers, sour cream, and dill.
• Turkey – A thick soup made with boiled tripe which is then simmered with garlic and cream.
– Adapted from

New research from Ohio State University reveals risks that pet owners may be exposed to ….
✗ Cat Scratch Fever – If your cat sinks her claws into you, you could become infected with Bartonella, a bacterium that causes fever and swollen lymph nodes.
✗ Meningitis – Sorry, but those slobbery mouth kisses from your pup put you at risk. A bacteria that lives in the mouths of cats and dogs can infect you if your pet bites you or licks your face.
✗ Parasites – Microscopic parasites can live in your cat or dog’s feces. The most common symptom if you become infected is diarrhea. Best prevention is to wash your hands often.
✗ Ringworm – An infection caused by fungus (not worms) that manifests as small, round, itchy patches on your skin. Cats are the most common culprits, but dogs can also carry ringworm.
Overall, researchers say, these risks are relatively small for the average pet person. The idea is to use common sense and observe good hygiene practices. (Humans are far more dangerous.)
– Condensed from

As you age, your sense of touch is less responsive to things like pain and temperature.


1948 [67] Brian Eno (Brian Peter George St John le Baptiste de la Salle Eno), Woodbridge UK,  record producer/songwriter (U2, Coldplay)/classic rock musician (co-founder Roxy Music)

1956 [59] Dan Patrick (Pugh), TV sportscaster (“Football Night in America” since 2006)/Premiere Radio Networks host (“Dan Patrick Show”)/sportswriter (“Sports Illustrated”)

1974 [41] Russell Hornsby, Oakland CA, TV actor (‘Hank Griffin’ on “Grimm” since 2011)

1982 [33] Brad Shultz, Bowling Green KY, indie rock guitarist (Cage The Elephant-“In One Ear”)

Movie actor Pierce Brosnan (“Mamma Mia!”) is 62; Alt-rock musician Boyd Tinsley (Dave Matthews Band) is 51; Rock bassist Krist Novoselic (Nirvana) is 50; Pop singer Janet Jackson (“Escapade”) is 49; TV actor David Boreanaz (“Bones”) is 46; Movie actress Megan Fox (“Transformers”) is 29.

TV personality Craig Ferguson (ex-“The Late Late Show”) is 53; Rock musician Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails) is 50; Pop singer Jordan Knight (New Kids On the Block) is 45; Rock singer Josh Homme (Queens Of the Stone Age) is 42; Folk-rock singer-songwriter Passenger (“Let Her Go”) is 31; Dancer Derek Hough (“Dancing With the Stars”) is 30.

• “Bike-to-Work Day”, the 21st annual observed on the 3rd Friday of May as a highlight of “National Bike Month”. It’s promoted as a solution to several of today’s problems, including obesity, traffic congestion, and air pollution.
• “Chocolate Chip Day”. Hey, any excuse to mow down on a dozen warm gooey cookies fresh out of the oven. Mmm, can’t you just smell ’em?
• “Endangered Species Day”, the 10th annual observed on the 3rd Friday of May to encourage us to learn about the importance of protecting animals that are on the edge of extinction.
• “Flip Your Mattress Day”, an annual turnover to help prevent a case of the ‘lumpies’.
• “International Day of Families”, established by the UN General Assembly in 1992.
• “International Online Romance Day”, a day to fall in love online. (With who knows what!)
• “Peace Officer Memorial Day”, the 34th annual observance during “Police Week” by over 20,000 police departments across North America to honor colleagues killed in the line of duty.
• “Pizza Party Day”, an excuse to make Friday pie-day.

• “Biographers Day”, a day to start reading or writing a biography. What would you call yours?
• “Piercing Day”, a ‘Hole-y Holiday’ celebrating the practice of puncturing or cutting a part of the human body to create an opening in which jewelry can be worn.
• “Learn to Swim Day”, the 3rd annual to raise awareness of the importance of teaching children to swim. Learning this invaluable life skill is essential for safety as well as fun.
• “Preakness Stakes” at Pimlico Race Course in Baltimore MD, the 140th running of the 2nd jewel in the Triple Crown of thoroughbred horse racing.
• “US Armed Forces Day”, celebrated since 1949 on the 3rd Saturday of May to salute Americans serving in the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, and Coast Guard.
• “Wear Something Purple for Peace Day”, the first ‘intergalactic holiday’, as declared by a group called ‘The Moderns’, whose goal is to make the world a peaceful place and thereby encourage alien species to make contact.

• “Pack Rat Day”, celebrating people who squirrel away all kinds of ‘stuff’. What’s the oddest thing you have that you refuse to throw away?
• “Stepmothers Day”, celebrated on the Sunday after Mothers Day to highlight the differing bonds between biological parents, stepparents, and children.
• “World Hypertension Day”, an annual observance to highlight that stroke, heart, and kidney diseases caused by high blood pressure are preventable.

2013 [02] JJ Abrams’ “Star Trek Into Darkness” opens in movie theaters, starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana

2009 [06] Randy Bachman of the Guess Who and Bachman-Turner Overdrive is presented with Canada’s highest civilian honor, Officer of the Order of Canada

1995 [20] 1st casino gambling website is launched on the Internet (now there’s a gazillion)

2010 [05] 16-year-old Australian sailor Jessica Watson becomes the youngest person to sail non-stop and unassisted around-the-world

[Mon] Victoria Day (Canada)
[Mon] 19th Webby Awards (NYC)
[Mon] International Museum Day
[Mon] Visit Your Relatives Day
[Tues] Hepatitis Testing Day
[Wed] “Late Show With David Letterman” series finalé (CBS)
This Week Is … Work at Home Moms Week
This Month Is … Revise Your Work Schedule Month


✓ Moonlight.
✓ Wind from blowing out matches.
✓ Hot air from interminable staff meetings.
✓ Kinetic energy from Jack Russell Terriers.
✓ French Level 2 & 3 Rosetta Stone DVDs.
✓ Home juicers.
✓ The neighbor’s overflowing junkmail.
✓ Children’s artwork.
✓ Pennies.
– Adapted from

☎ Who are the best and worst actors-turned-musicians? (Thumbs down to Bruce Willis, John Travolta, Paris Hilton, William Shatner.)

I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

Question: It’s estimated that more than 1-in-10 dogs has swallowed THIS.
Answer: A shoelace.

Great things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.

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