Tuesday, May 15, 2018 Edition: #6213

Can You Believe This Sheet?

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
There’ll be no “BS” service for Monday May 21 to observe the Canadian Victoria Day holiday. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, May 22.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Will Smith says he was broke and owed millions in taxes when he auditioned for “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”. After his third album with DJ Jazzy Jeff flopped, his then-girlfriend urged him to visit “The Arsenio Hall Show” to try and turn his career around, and it was there he met Benny Medina, who pitched him the idea for the TV show. But Smith turned the part down because he “wasn’t an actor.” Encouraged by legendary music producer Quincy Jones to audition on the spot at a party at his mansion, Smith landed the part instantly.
(So before he was in trouble with Uncle Phil, he was already in trouble with Uncle Sam?)
-Canoe
★ A lot happened in the “Blue Bloods” season 8 finale on Friday, one of which you may have missed. A brief scene involving Jamie (Will Estes) and Eddie (Vanessa Ray) speaking with a policeman marked the acting debut of John “Jack” Schlossberg, the only grandson of John F. Kennedy. The 25-year-old appeared as Officer Jack Hammer, and he announced the news on social media prior to the episode’s premiere. Schlossberg Instagrammed: “I don’t make the rules, I just pretend to enforce them. Cash me tonight on season 8 finale of Blue Bloods my dream come true!!”.
-MSN
★ It looks like Kevin will be joining Donna six feet under. CBS has cancelled “Kevin Can Wait” after two seasons. The show underwent a major overhaul in Season 2, with the firing of original cast member Erinn Hayes, who was essentially replaced by Kevin James’ former “King of Queens” costar Leah Remini, who plays Kevin’s former police partner Vanessa Cellucci. Word of Kevin’s fate came just hours after CBS axed another Monday night sitcom, “Superior Donuts”.
-Yahoo
★ Meet the new Riggs. Fox and Warner Bros. Television have recast fired “Lethal Weapon” star Clayne Crawford with Seann William Scott, triggering a third-season renewal for the show. Scott (aka Stifler from “American Pie”) will join the series as what the network says is a new character who folds into a partnership with Murtaugh (Damon Wayans). The news comes days after Crawford was fired following bad behavior on set. Sources are saying that Scott may play the brother to Crawford’s Martin Riggs, thus keeping the well-known name in the mix..
-HollywoodReporter
★ Fans of “SCTV” were treated to some serious nostalgia on Sunday as cast members of the Canadian sketch comedy series gathered to share memories for an upcoming Netflix special. Most popular characters from the influential show _ including Johnny LaRue, Alex Trebel and Edith Prickley _ had a moment to shine during the three-hour live taping at Toronto’s Elgin Theatre. The footage will be part of a larger production directed by Martin Scorsese for the streaming platform. “SCTV” cast members Joe Flaherty, Eugene Levy, Andrea Martin, Martin Short Catherine O’Hara and Rick Moranis all made appearances.
-CP

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Melissa McCarthy, Luke Bryan, Cody Bellinger.
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Josh Brolin, Cedric the Entertainer, Dave Itzkoff, CHVRCHES
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jamie Foxx, Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Ethan Hawke, Ronan Farrow, Jodie Comer, Matt Byrne
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Hank Azaria, Kyle MacLachlan, George Ezra
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Nick Kroll, John Mulaney, Olan Rogers, Debra DiGiovanni ( R )
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Jimmy Buffett
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Martha Stewart
• “The Talk” (CBS): Scott Bakula, Cameron Mathison, guest co-hosts Carrie Ann Inaba & Carnie Wilson
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jamie Foxx, Stephen Amell, Mark Bittman
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Bono, the Edge, Diane Keaton
• “black-ish” (ABC): season finale
• “New Girl” (FOX): season finale
• “Chicago Med” (NBC): season finale
• “Stanley Cup Playoffs” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Tampa Bay vs. Washington
• “NBA Playoffs” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Cleveland vs. Boston

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Rihanna – A man arrested for allegedly breaking into her Los Angeles home on Thursday reportedly entered the property in a bid to seduce her. After police were called, the suspect reportedly failed to obey officers’ instructions, and was shocked with a taser. When questioned, he is said to have claimed he was there to seduce Rihanna and sleep with her.
• Fifth Harmony – have officially begun their indefinite hiatus. They announced in March they would be taking a break from the band in order to pursue solo careers, and on Friday they gave their final performance as a group in Florida. (Unless their solo careers tank…)
• R. Kelly – Pandora has followed rival streaming service Spotify’s lead by ending the promotion of R. Kelly’s songs on their platform. Last week, Spotify announced the implementation of a new hateful conduct provision policy, which will prevent artists who have been accused of questionable or criminal behavior from having their songs included on their popular curated playlists.
• Journey – keyboardist Jonathan Cain says the band haven’t abandoned the idea of making a new album, it’s just with the changing musical landscape, they have to make sure it makes sense economically. Their last studio outing was 2011’s “Eclipse”. (Fans, Don’t Stop Believin’!!)
• Extreme – guitarist Nuno Bettencourt says the band is long overdue for a new album, and fans should see one by fall. By that time it will be more than ten years since their last release, “Saudades de Rock”, which arrived in August 2008.
• Dave Grohl – was joined on stage Saturday night by his 12 year-old daughter Violet at the Notes and Words benefit festival for UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital. Together, the two covered Adele’s ‘When We Were Young’, with Violet singing and her father on acoustic guitar.
Youngest daughter Harper also joined in on drums for versions of ‘We Will Rock You’ and the Foo Fighters’ ‘The Sky is a Neighborhood’.
• Carrie Underwood – her hubby Mike Fisher has retired from the NHL – again. After coming out of retirement in January to take one more shot at a Stanley Cup, his season ended with a game 6 injury and game 7 elimination at the hands of the Winnipeg Jets. He told reporters not to expect another return. Quote: “I’ve milked this cow as long as it’ll go.”
• Lauren Alaina – the American Idol Season 10 runner-up has been named as Diamond Resorts’ latest Diamond Celebrity ambassador. The hospitality and vacation ownership group said its members will have opportunities to meet Alaina through Events of a Lifetime, Diamond’s experiential vacation program, which includes live concerts and performances.

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Black Panther” (PG-13, Action/Adventure): T’Challa, the King of Wakanda, rises to the throne in the isolated, technologically advanced African nation, but his claim is challenged by a vengeful outsider who was a childhood victim of T’Challa’s father’s mistake. (Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, Lupita Nyong’o)
• “Samson” (PG-13, Action/Drama): After losing the love of his life to a cruel Philistine prince, a young Hebrew with Supernatural strength defends his people, sacrificing everything to avenge his love, his people, and his God. (Jackson Rathbone, Billy Zane)
• “The Forgiven” (R-Rated, Drama/Mystery): After the end of Apartheid, Archbishop Desmond Tutu meets with a brutal murderer seeking redemption. (Forest Whitaker, Eric Bana)
• “Bent” (R-Rated, Drama/Mystery): On his latest private investigation, a shamed former cop connects a murder case to a government conspiracy involving rogue agents from a top spy agency. (Karl Urban, Sofía Vergara, Andy Garcia)
• “Cargo” (Not Rated, Drama/Mystery): A post apocalyptic thriller and an emotional story of a father trying to save his child at all costs. (Martin Freeman, Anthony Hayes)

BOWLING FOR DINNERS:
If you want to make your food taste better, you might think of adding a little salt or hot sauce. But science says there is an even simpler trick that you’ve likely never considered before — just put it in a bowl. Why do you think so many restaurants are suddenly serving food in bowls? Charles Spence, a professor of experimental psychology at Oxford, agrees that food quite often tastes better when served in a bowl. He says that food that’s presented in an appealing way actually ends up tasting more appealing. And bowls, because of both the hearty dishes we associate with them and our tendency to lift them right up to our noses, set us up to experience a meal as hearty and satisfying. Not only will a warm bowl make your usual instant noodles taste better, it will more generally give you a cozy, warm glow, according to science. Some research shows that if you feel something warm in your hand the world seems like a better place. That, of course, also adds to the enjoyment of your meal.
(Even if I cooked it…)
(I thought they were serving food in bowls for the same reason I’m eating out of them at home. All the plates are dirty!)
(For me, I’m better off putting it in a can. A garbage can!)
-Curiosity

REVENGE OF THE NERDS:
Here we go again…Two planetary scientists have written a column in the Washington Post, making their case that Pluto should once again be classified as a planet. David Grinspoon, an astrobiologist, and Alan Stern, the principal investigator of the New Horizons mission to Pluto, make the case that in spite of the 2006 redefinition of the term ‘planet’ by the International Astronomical Union (IAU) that excluded Pluto (thus re-classifying it as a ‘dwarf planet’), most space experts still refer to Pluto and many other celestial bodies as ‘planets’, even though technically, they are no longer classified as such. They point out that when the decision to re-classify Pluto came down, it was at the very end of a week-long meeting, which had less than 4 percent of the world’s astronomers present. Grinspoon and Stern even go as far as to say a new, more accurate definition of planet might be: “Round objects in space that are smaller than stars.”
(Make up your minds! It’s not rocket science! Oh, wait.)
(The flat-earthers are NOT gonna like that!)
-WashingtonPost

THE UP OVER DOWN UNDER:
The government of Australia has announced that it will soon be illegal to purchase anything over $10,000 AU ($7,500 US) with cash. Why? They say there are two reasons. One, to “encourage the transition to a digital society”, and two, to crack down on tax evasion. The ban starts on July 1, 2019 and then, any payment over $10,000 will have to be made by check or credit/debit card. The government will enforce the measure by allocating roughly $300 million for what it calls the ‘Black Economy Standing Taskforce’. Yup government heavies with the sole purpose of making sure that type of cash transaction no longer happens. The goal is to drum up about $3 billion in new tax revenue over the next four years. And although percentage-wise, Australians make more cash purchases than most first-world countries, you have to wonder how common a cash purchase of over $10,000 is. There are hardly any $100 bills in circulation in the country. And no $1,000 bills.
(Crikey! That’s a LOT of $50s!)
(If you’re paying cash, you better only get a half-tank!)
(There’s always bitcoin. THAT seems legit!)
-TheGuardian

BEST SONGS FOR GAMBLING:
☞ ‘The Gambler’ – Kenny Rogers: “Know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em.” ‘Nuff said.
☞ ‘Ace of Spades’ – Motörhead: “You know I’m born to lose. And gamblin’ is for fools. But that’s the way I like it, baby, I don’t wanna live forever. And don’t forget the joker…”
☞ ‘Losing Hand’ – Ray Charles: “I thought I’d be your king baby, yes and you could be my queen
But you used me for your joker ´cause I thought your deal was clean.”
☞ ‘The Roving Gambler’ – the Everly Brothers: “I am a roving gambler, I’ve gambled down in town,
Wherever I meet with a deck of cards, I lay my money down.”
☞ ‘Go Down Gamblin’’ – Blood, Sweat & Tears: “Born a natural loser I can’t recall just where,
Raised on brew and poker and a dollar here and there. Black-jack hand dealer man you better payoff that last debt. Two bit hand a twenty one that’s all I ever get.”
(BS honorable mentions: ‘Poker Face’-Lady Gaga, ‘Luck be a Lady’-Frank Sinatra, ‘Viva Las Vegas’-Elvis Presley, ‘Queen of Hearts’-Juice Newton, ‘A Good Run of Bad Luck’-Clint Black, ‘The Jack’-AC/DC….what’s yours?)
-ThatEricAlper

BS CHRONOMETER 05.15.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [70] Brian Eno (Brian Peter George St John le Baptiste de la Salle Eno), Woodbridge UK, record producer/songwriter (U2, Coldplay)/classic rock musician (co-founder Roxy Music – ‘Avalon’)

1956 [62] Dan Patrick (Pugh), TV sportscaster (“Football Night in America” since 2006)/Premiere Radio Networks host (“Dan Patrick Show”)/sportswriter (“Sports Illustrated”)

1969 [49] Emmitt Smith, Pensacola, FL, Football Player (Dallas Cowboys running back who retired with an NFL record 18,355 rushing yards)

1972 [46] David Charvet, Lyon France, TV actor (“Melrose Place” 1996-1998. “Baywatch” 1992-1996)

1974 [44] Russell Hornsby, Oakland CA, TV actor (‘Hank Griffin’ on “Grimm” 2011-17)

1981 [37] Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Jericho, NY, TV Actress (‘Meadow Soprano’ on “The Sopranos” 1999-2007)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Chocolate Chip Day”, Hey, any excuse to mow down on a dozen warm gooey cookies fresh out of the oven. Mmm, can’t you just smell ‘em?

• “Nylon Stocking Day”, Many may not remember ever hearing the term “nylon stockings.” A nylon stocking (also known as hose) is a close-fitting, variously elastic garment worn the same as socks or tights.

• “Peace Officers Memorial Day”, An annual observance during “Police Week” by over 20,000 police departments across North America to honor colleagues killed in the line of duty.

• “Straw Hat Day”, best celebrated by going out and getting yourself a new straw hat! You can find them in almost any size, shape, and even material.

• “Dinosaur Day”, a Paleontologists favorite day! Dinosaurs first appeared during the Triassic period, between 243 and 231 million years ago, although the exact origin and timing of the evolution of dinosaurs is still the subject of research. The name ‘dinosaur’ is Greek, meaning “terrible lizard”. (BS FACTOID: While many people think dinosaurs were massive, they were usually human sized or smaller. Scientists believe that the larger bones were just easier to be fossilized, and therefore more likely to survive to present-day)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Love a Tree Day
[Wed] Mimosa Day
[Thurs] Brown Bag It Thursday
[Thurs] Hummus Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2008 [10] Shania Twain and producer Robert “Mutt” Lange announce they are separating after 14 years of marriage. Lange’s affair with Twain’s best friend, Marie-Anne Thiébaud, triggered the split. Twain later marries Thiébaud’s ex-husband, Frédéric.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1982 [36] The racial-harmony anthem ‘Ebony And Ivory’, by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, hits #1 in the US

2009 [09] Randy Bachman of the Guess Who and Bachman-Turner Overdrive is presented with Canada’s highest civilian honor, Officer of the Order of Canada

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1995 [23] 1st casino gambling website is launched on the Internet (now there’s a gazillion)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2010 [08] 16-year-old Australian sailor Jessica Watson becomes the youngest person to sail non-stop and unassisted around-the-world

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ There are more life forms living on your skin than there are people on the planet.
✓ The average human will yawn around 250,000 times over the course of his life.
✓ In an average lifetime, human skin completely replaces itself 900 times.
✓ The average person walks 120,000 km (75,000 miles) in a lifetime. That’s five times around the world.
✓ An average person spends 6 years of his life dreaming.
✓ The average person spends 3 months of its lifetime sitting on the toilet.
-FactSlides

BS STUPID QUESTIONS ABOUT TV SHOWS:
• In sitcoms, why do they only sit on one side of the table?
• Why was it called the Daily Show when it aired at night?
• Did Linda Carter wear a Wonder Bra?
• Is FOX News biased?
• Why wasn’t Will and Grace called Jack and Karen?
• What’s the zip code for Beverly Hills 90210?
• So all Superman had to do was wear glasses and no one knew who he was?
• Wait. Can you really take a taxi from Philly to Bel Air?
• Have you met Charles? Why would you let Charles be in Charge of anything?
• Did Full House only do as well as it did because there was no show called Four Of A Kind?
• Is American Horror Story a news channel?
-Twitter

BS TAKING THE ACTION OUT OF ACTION FILMS:
• Ironing Man
• Sigh Hard
• Gently and Very Slowly Ease Mother From the Train.
• Indiana Jones and the Temple of Balloons
• Dude, My Car Was Here All Along!
• Just a Classic Park
• The Empire Smiles Back
• Slow and Curious
• Inglorious Math Nerds
• Jackson
-Twitter

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the strangest thing you’ve seen someone do while driving?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I just finished reading a 300 page transcription of an audio book.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: When asked, “What is the hardest driving maneuver?” Parallel parking was the #1 answer. What was #2?
Answer: Backing into a parking space

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Follow your heart. But take your brain with you.