Wednesday, May 16, 2012        Edition: #4750

Can You Believe This Sheet?

The 1st accuser’s case may be collapsing, but the lawyer for John Travolta’s 2nd ‘inappropriate behavior’ accuser says the actor should prep for ‘one hell of a fight’ (then there’s #3 … and #4 … and) . . . Troubled Travolta’s wife Kelly Preston, who turns 50 in October, says she wants to boost her brood by becoming a mom again soon, having birthed son Benjamin in 2010 (this is known as diverting attention) . . . Actress Jennifer Aspen is using Twitter to encourage an online fan petition to save her TV comedy “GCB” after it was axed by ABC-TV due to low ratings (if you’re one of the half-dozen who cares, go here: . . . 36-year-old actress and new adoptive mom Charlize Theron says she ‘can’t remember life before motherhood’ (which is really a shame since she’s made so many cool movies) . . . Brand-new mom Jessica Simpson is launching a new clothing line for moms-to-be (first launch the line then get pregnant, silly – then your wardrobe’s free!) . . . Brangelina are apparently planning to live in England for 15 months, so they’ve rented an 8-bedroom palatial mansion in a gated community on the exclusive Wentworth golf course in Surrey, said to be one of Britain’s most exclusive communities (if anyone needs 8 bedrooms, it’s these people and their massive brood) . . . “Big Bang Theory” actor Simon Helberg & his wife are new parents to a baby girl they’ve named ‘Adeline’ (apparently they’re barbershop music fans) . . . “Dancing With the Stars” pros Maksim Chmerkovskiy & Peta Murgatroyd are reportedly doing a little … er, ‘private dancing’ on the side (no wonder they always look so exhausted on the show) . . . Whoa, the budget for “Men in Black 3” (opening May 25th) is reportedly a whopping $375 million (we’re betting it’ll be remembered as ‘Men In the Red’) . . . And actress-yoga fanatic Jennifer Aniston is reportedly upping her good vibes and moving into a zen-inspired rental home in Beverly Hills, California while her $21-million Bel Air mansion is being renovated (while you or I might be stuck in a pop-up camper in the driveway, she’s spending 40-large per month on temporary living quarters).


• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – The finalists visit their hometowns and perform for the judges.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Bobby Brown (ex-Mr Whitney Houston).
• “Festival de Cannes” (France) – The world’s most famous film-fest reels on the Riviera through May 27th.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Dr Dog (“Be the Void”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – The Imagineers (“Say As I Say”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Pat Martino (“Undeniable: Live at Blues Alley”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Best Coast (“The Only Place”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Whitney Houston’s ex, Bobby Brown.


✓ “Criminal Minds” (CBS)
✓ “Suburgatory” (ABC)


“The Dictator” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Sacha Baron Cohen stars in this heroic story of a dictator who risks his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he’s so lovingly oppressed. Inspired by the novel “Zabibah & The King” by Saddam Hussein. Co-stars Anna Faris, Ben Kingsley, Megan Fox. This odd Wednesday opening is to move it away from the “Dark Shadows” release. (Rumor has it there’s an “Anchorman 2” teaser debuting at screenings.)


• AC/DC – Guitarist Malcolm Young has confirmed the band is working on the follow-up to their 2008 album “Black Ice”, but says it’ll take a while … ‘a year or two anyway’.
• Beach Boys – Today they visit TV shopping channel QVC to promote their new album “That’s Why God Made the Radio”. During the live broadcast, fans can order the new album packaged with a greatest hits bonus CD, nearly a month before the release date.
• Blink-182 – They’ve canceled their headlining set at the “Bamboozle Festival” in Asbury Park NJ this weekend, as drummer Travis Barker required an emergency tonsillectomy. My Chemical Romance will replace them on the main stage Saturday.
• Eminem – His boxing movie “Southpaw” has been delayed, purportedly so he can spend more time on his music career instead of acting. The movie was slated to be shot in his home state of Michigan.
• Jason Aldean – “Fly Over States” will become his 9th #1 country single when the charts are officially released Thursday by “Billboard”.
• Jimi Hendrix – That recently announced bio-pic staring Andre 3000 may be headed for trouble. Experience Hendrix LLC, the family-owned company entrusted with safeguarding the Hendrix legacy, has made it known that no film can be undertaken without its full participation.
• Kanye West – Seems his love for Kim Kardashian (or at least media exposure) is so strong that he’ll appear on a few upcoming episodes of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” (E!).
• Lady Gaga – She’s been refused a permit to perform in Jakarta, Indonesia after objections from Islamic groups, which will likely force the June 3rd show to be canceled. Some 52,000 tickets had already been sold.


New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Book It’ – Slang term meaning to catch a flight. (“I booked it into Paris on the weekend so I’m still a bit muzzy-headed.”)
• ‘Babymoon’ – An expectant couple enjoying a vacation away before the birth of their new baby. (Often the result of a really good honeymoon.)
• ‘Workshifting’ – Using portable devices and wireless technologies to perform work wherever and whenever it is convenient. (This is a technical advancement?)


A recent study from the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention in Atlanta, Georgia suggests that spacing your kids 2-and-a-half years apart is the ideal for producing healthy babies and also allows for a beneficial age range contributing to family dynamics. (Husbands are thrilled with this finding, hoping it may increase the frequency of ‘getting lucky’ from the current 5-year wait.)
– PA News

If you’re worried your child’s not eating enough but her growth rate is on target according to her doctor, it may be that it’s your perception may be a bit off. So says Dr Laura Jana, co-author of the book “Food Fights”. You should keep in mind that a serving for young children is a tablespoon per year of age – basically, a bite or two of the peas you’ve piled on her plate. (But when it’s ice cream …)
– “Parenting Magazine”


Vietnam’s Transport Minister has banned officials from playing golf because, he says, too much time spent on the course has affected performance at work. The Transportation Department says devotion to the game, even during vacation time, is partly responsible for sluggish productivity by some staff. Golf’s popularity has surged among a rapidly growing Vietnamese middle class. (If golf were banned here, hardly any life insurance would get sold. Isn’t that a good thing?)
– BBC News


Chasing after a screaming toddler may seem like a less-than-ideal way to spend your day, but imagine being paid a 6-figure salary to cater to a 2-year-old’s every whim. Many of New York’s most sought-after nannies can fetch a salary of $180,000 per year, plus a bonus and an allowance, to pay for rent in an expensive apartment. That’s because there are so few experienced nannies willing to forgo other plans to be available at all times to take care of NYC’s wealthiest kids. (Feeling better about spotting the babysitter a 20 on the weekend?)
– “New York Times”


A new generation of closed-circuit TV cameras can automatically warn users to leave an area. A prerecorded message in cameras in London’s Walker House community says: ‘Stop, this is a restricted area and your photograph is being taken. It will be sent for processing if you don’t leave the area now.’ The only problem is, it warns everyone who shows up on-camera to leave … including residents and legitimate visitors. (Fancy technology is quite often less efficient than a ‘No Trespassing’ sign … and a Doberman.)


Wanna be happy? Be a decent human being. For the ongoing World Values Survey, people around-the-globe rank their satisfaction with life on a scale of 1-to-10. That ranking is then compared to respondent’s answers to ethical questions about dubious practices, such as claiming government benefits to which you aren’t entitled; avoiding paying fares on public transit; cheating on taxes; and accepting bribes. The results show that people who believe these ethical scenarios are unacceptable also tend to be more satisfied with life. (Cheaters never prosper … or smile.)

Scientists have discovered that flying racehorses long-distance to races in other countries can actually make them faster. Unlike humans, horses recover quickly from the effects of crossing time zones because their bodies are highly sensitive to changes in light and aren’t attached to a 24-hour cycle. While traveling long-haul can make us cranky and cause sleep-loss, horses adjust themselves almost immediately when exposed to a long period of darkness followed by daylight. The transition can even have a positive effect because it triggers hormones which boost the animals’ athletic performance. (Step one in conquering jet lag … get rid of all clocks.)
– “Telegraph”

• A person’s risk of melanoma doubles if they have had more than 5 sunburns.
• The first retail item to be scanned with a barcode in a store was a 10-pack of Wrigley’s chewing gum, costing 67¢. It occurred in Troy, Ohio in 1974.
• Lightning can contain enough energy to boil 8 million cups of tea.
– “Daily Mirror”


1953 [59] Pierce Brosnan, Drogheda, Ireland, movie actor (“Mamma Mia!”, “Die Another Day”)

1964 [48] Boyd (‘BT’) Tinsley, Charlottesville VA, alt-rock musician (Dave Matthews Band-“Where Are You Going”, “Crash Into Me”)

1966 [46] Janet Jackson, Gary IN, pop singer (“All For You”, “Escapade”)/9th and youngest child in the dysfunctional Jackson family

1969 [43] David Boreanaz, Buffalo NY, TV actor (‘Special Agent Seeley Booth’ on “Bones” since 2005, “Angel” 1999-2004, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” 1997-99)

1973 [39] Tori Spelling, Beverly Hills CA, reality TV personality (“Tori & Dean: sTORIbook Weddings” 2011, “Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood” 2008-09, “Housesitter” 2007, “Tori & Dean: Inn Love” 2007)/married to actor Dean McDermott (2006)

1986 [26] Megan Fox, Rockwood TN, movie actress (“Jonah Hex”, “Transformers” films)/TV actress (“Hope & Faith” 2004-06)

• “Biographers Day”, a day to start reading or writing a biography. What would you call yours?

• “Employee Health & Fitness Day”, observed on the 3rd Wednesday of May each year to promote the benefits of physical activity through workplace health promotion activities. Employees benefit through lower levels of stress and improved physical fitness. Employers benefit through enhanced employee productivity and decreased rates of illness and injuries.

• “International Sea Monkey Day”, celebrating the amazing pet that comes alive when placed in water. ‘Sea-Monkeys’ is the brand name for brine shrimp sold in hatching kits as novelty aquarium pets in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom since 1960.

• “Wear Something Purple for Peace Day”, the first ‘intergalactic holiday’, as declared by a group called ‘The Moderns’ who contend aliens will not communicate with Earth due to our violent nature. The goal of this observance is to make the world a peaceful place and thereby encourage alien species to make contact.


2002 [10] “Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of the Clones” opens in movie theaters

2000 [12] Prince tells a press conference he will go back to using his name instead of the unpronounceable symbol he adopted to ‘free himself from undesirable contracts’


1929 [83] The “Academy Awards” are inaugurated in Hollywood (“Wings” wins ‘Best Picture’)

2000 [12] Hillary Clinton is nominated to run for US Senate, the 1st former First Lady to run for public office


1991 [21] 14 Stanford University students begin leapfrogging and don’t stop for 10 days and 999.2 miles to set a new Guinness World Record

[Thurs] World Hypertension Day
[Fri] Endangered Species Day
[Fri] Bike to Work Day
[Fri] International Museum Day
[Fri] Pizza Party Day
[Fri] Visit Your Relatives Day
This Week Is … Bike to Work Week
This Month Is … EcoDriving Month


• “Any good games on your computer system?”
• “I got a lunch date, think we could make this quick?”
• “Who’s the hot babe in that photo … your daughter?”
• “Say buddy, ya got a light?”
• “So Big Guy, how hard would I have to work in this popsicle stand anyway?”


Listeners call in to suggest a song beginning with the last letter of the track currently playing (ie: “Stronger” is followed by “Rumor Has It”), thus linking the tunes together like the monkeys in the kids’ game. It’s the popular old car game ‘Geography’ adapted to music.


☎ Complete this sentence: “Life’s too short to …” (Remove a USB safely? Fold fitted sheets? Date cheap men? Skip whipped cream? To finish anyth …)


Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, some keener in a gym pulls a hamstring.

Question: The average woman has 189 of THESE over her lifetime, while men have 140.
Answer: Sick days.

An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.

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