Thursday, May 16, 2013        Edition: #4986

Can You Believe This Sheet?

✳ Christina Aguilera has signed a contract for a 5th-season appearance as a coach on “The Voice” that will bring her $12.5 million, with a proviso that could jack her take to as much as $17 million depending on how many hours she works. A report says Cee Lo Green is in advanced talks to return to the show, while coaches Adam Levine and Blake Shelton are still negotiating. (Who’s most indispensable?)
✳ Disney-owned ABC-TV is tapping its Marvel comics blockbuster “Avengers” film franchise for a new TV show, “Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD”. The show will star “Avengers” actor Clark Gregg as agent ‘Phil Coulson’, who assembles a small group of agents to investigate strange happenings around-the-world. It’s scheduled to air Tuesdays, directly up against television’s top-rated non-sports show, CBS-TV’s “NCIS”. (Where it will die a slow and painful death.)
✳ It’s thought that Google will launch a subscription music-streaming service this week to directly compete with popular apps such as Sweden’s Spotify, France’s Deezer, and US-based Pandora. 3 major record labels have already reached agreements with Google to license songs to the as-yet-unnamed service, which would offer yet another reason to install Google software. (What would it take to convince you to quit stealing music for free on Frostwire?)
– Bloomberg News
✳ Actress Hayden Panettiere has spent the past month sleeping on a futon in the attic of a friends’ house in Tennessee because she was unsure if her TV show “Nashville” would be renewed. But now that ABC-TV has re-upped it for a 2nd season, she’s decided it’s now OK to start house-hunting. (There’s no bidness like show bidness …)
– “New York Magazine”
• And LAPD have launched an investigation into a claim former “High School Musical” actress Ashley Tisdale has been bombarded with more than 18,000 Twitter messages from an obsessed fan. A friend of Tisdale’s apparently called the cops after the onslaught of tweets continued unabated for 6 months. The overzealous devotee also reportedly showed up at Tisdale’s home recently. Word has it police are getting ready to quiz a suspect. (Whoever you are … dude, time to move up to the B-list!)

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Robin Thicke (“Blurred Lines”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Dawes (“Stories Don’t End”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Pierce the Veil (“Collide With the Sky”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tim McGraw (“Two Lanes of Freedom”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – MS MR (“Secondhand Rapture”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – LL Cool J (“Authentic”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Family Of the Year (“Loma Vista”).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Eve (“Lip Lock”).

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – On the 2-hour 12th season finalé former judge Jennifer Lopez sings “Live It Up”; current judges Keith Urban and Mariah Carey are featured in pre-taped performances; Adam Lambert, The Band Perry, and Psy are rumored guests; the winner is declared (Candice Glover or Kree Harrison?).
• “Beauty & The Beast” (CW/Showcase).
• “The Big Bang Theory” (CBS/CTV).
• “Elementary” (CBS/Global).
• “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC/CTV).
• “Scandal” (ABC/CityTV).
• “The Office” (NBC) – The 1-hour, 15-minute series finalé, preceded by a 1-hour retrospective. Former star Steve Carell guests.
• “The Vampire Diaries” (CW/CTV2).

• Alice In Chains – They’re embroiled in a legal battle with the mother of late singer Layne Staley. Nancy McCallum’s lawsuit alleges she’s owed 16% of the band’s income but she’s getting cut out. The band only wants to pay royalties for songs he wrote or co-wrote.
• Beyoncé – She’s had to cancel at least 1 show on her “Mrs Carter World Tour” this week after being advised by doctors to rest due to ‘dehydration and exhaustion’. (BS translation: Another bun in the oven.)
• David Bowie – A new BBC documentary, “David Bowie: Five Years”, suggests that it was his first wife Angie who helped transform the 1970s glam rocker into a global phenomenon, pushing for fans to align with the ‘rock star’ persona he had adopted.
• Justin Bieber – An investigation is still underway into the “Ocean’s 11”-type heist that took place during his show in Johannesburg, South Africa. Thieves made off with some $330,000 after lowering themselves via ropes into a safe room at the concert venue, FNB Stadium.
• The National – Their 2013 Summer tour kicks off tonight in Ithaca NY. They release their new album, “Trouble Will Find Me”, on May 21st.
• Susan Boyle – The 52-year-old singer who found fame on “Britain’s Got Talent” in 2009 has announced her 1st solo tour, beginning July 2nd in Inverness, Scotland. “Daily Mirror” reports she also has her sights set on a Las Vegas residency. (You’re dreaming another dream, hon’.)
• Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers – Their Summer tour gets underway tonight in Evansville IN, with dates announced up to June 29th in Minneapolis MN.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Brick Mansions” – This remake of the Luc Besson French action movie “District B13” will star Paul Walker (“Fast & Furious” films) as an undercover cop who is tasked with going into a tenement to disarm a neutron bomb possessed by the community’s drug warlord (RZA). The thriller is currently shooting in Montréal.
• “Chef” – Jon Favreau’s upcoming drama follows a man who loses his chef job and starts up a food truck to reclaim his artistic promise and his estranged family at the same time. The big-name cast includes Robert Downey Jr, Scarlett Johansson, Sofia Vergara, and John Leguizamo. Production is set to begin this July in Los Angeles.
• “Grace of Monaco” – Olivier Dahan’s new historical drama tells the story of Hollywood star-turned-princess Grace Kelly (1956-82). Star Nicole Kidman says she didn’t attempt to re-create Kelly’s looks, just tried to capture her essence. The film is described as more of an art movie than strictly a bio-pic. It opens in limited release December 27th.
• “Into the Woods” – Jake Gyllenhaal and Chris Pine have met and sung for director Rob Marshall while auditioning for roles in Disney’s adaptation of the hit Broadway musical. They’re expected to receive offers to join the star-studded cast that already includes Johnny Depp and Meryl Streep. The darkly comic mash-up of classic fairytales is due to begin shooting this Fall.
• “Peste” – Abigail Breslin, a supporting actress Oscar nominee for 2006’s “Little Miss Sunshine”, is set to star in this thriller about a contagious virus sweeping through a small town. She’ll play a teenager confronting the freak pathogen that turns her friends and neighbors into vicious monsters. The film’s scheduled to begin production in September.

A new poll by travel dating website ranks nationalities by sex appeal …
5. Russian
4. Spanish
3. American
2. Brazilian
1. Colombian
5. American
4. Swedish
3. Brazilian
2. Irish
1. British
Almost half of women say a man’s accent is the quality they find most attractive, while just over a third of men say body type is most important to them. The complete list here …
– ABC News

Women being used as objects of entertainment at business conventions and marketing events (booth babes, scantily clad waitresses passing out shots, models dancing at parties) is a concept designed to appeal to the men who control ad agency creative departments (97%), executive business positions (86%), and top jobs at tech companies (most). But the ‘booth babe’ approach overlooks the essential connection many brands need to make with their customers, who are mostly – and increasingly – women. (This approach went out with ‘Don Draper’. Time to rethink your Summer promotions?)

Situations in which your bargaining chops may come in handy …
✓Auto – Car dealerships are all about negotiation. Don’t let pushy sales people intimidate you.
✓Cable/Phone/Internet Service – Tell them you’re considering switching and ask them to match or beat an advertised deal.
✓Credit Card Late Fees – Try calling the customer service number and negotiating a deal.
✓Flea Market – One trick is showing that you genuinely care about the item in question. But when you make your bottom-line offer, be willing to walk away.
✓Furniture – Offer to take a floor model. Paying in cash should also knock down the price.
✓Gym Membership – Threatening to go to a different gym is usually enough to get a deal.
✓Home & Yard Maintenance – Offer to recommend them to other potential customers.
✓Mortgage Rate – At least discuss lowering or eliminating closing and processing fees.
✓Rent – Especially when renewing a lease, as the landlord faces finding a new, unknown tenant.

There’s compelling new evidence that dogs can get a ‘runner’s high’, the euphoria-inducing buzz experienced by regular runners and other human athletes. The discovery by University of Arizona researchers could mean that nature rewards many different animals with this pleasant feeling, encouraging them to run and jump around. While the study didn’t include cats, felines are cursorial animals too, meaning they have legs adapted for running. It’s therefore very likely they get the runner’s buzz as well. (We’re having trouble getting our pet snake to jog.)

• Crying baby contests are held in Japan. (Your kid may actually have a talent!)
– “Tokyo Times”
• ‘Messiah’ is now among the top 400 names for baby boys in the US. (There oughta be a law.)
– “The Guardian”


1953 [60] Pierce Brosnan, Drogheda, Ireland, movie actor (“Mamma Mia!”, “Die Another Day”)

1964 [49] Boyd (‘BT’) Tinsley, Charlottesville VA, alt-rock musician (Dave Matthews Band-“Where Are You Going”, “Crash Into Me”)

1965 [48] Krist Novoselic, Compton CA, rock bassist (Dave Grohl’s Sound City Players-“Cut Me Some Slack”, Nirvana-“Smells Like Teen Spirit”)

1966 [47] Janet Jackson, Gary IN, pop singer (“All For You”, “Escapade”)/9th and youngest child in the dysfunctional Jackson family

1969 [44] David Boreanaz, Buffalo NY, TV actor (‘Special Agent Seeley Booth’ on “Bones” since 2005, “Angel” 1999-2004, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” 1997-99)

1973 [40] Tori Spelling, Beverly Hills CA, reality TV personality (“Tori & Dean: Inn Love” 2007-12)/married to actor Dean McDermott since 2006

1986 [27] Megan Fox, Rockwood TN, movie actress (“Jonah Hex”, “Transformers” films)/TV actress (“Hope & Faith” 2004-06)

• “Biographers Day”, a day to start reading or writing a biography. What would you call yours?

• “International Sea Monkey Day”, celebrating the amazing pet that comes alive when placed in water. ‘Sea-Monkeys’ is the brand name for brine shrimp sold in hatching kits as novelty aquarium pets in the Canada, the UK, and the USA since 1960.

• “Love a Tree Day”, a good excuse to go out and give a tree a great big hug. Trees give us shade, comfort, and warmth. And they give off oxygen too.

• “Wear Something Purple for Peace Day”, the first ‘intergalactic holiday’, as declared by a group called ‘The Moderns’, who contend aliens will not communicate with Earth due to our violent nature. The goal of this observance is to make the world a peaceful place and thereby encourage alien species to make contact.

2005 [08] “Everybody Loves Raymond” series finalé airs on CBS-TV

2000 [13] Prince tells a press conference he will go back to using his name instead of the unpronounceable symbol he adopted to ‘free himself from undesirable contracts’

1929 [84] The “Academy Awards” are inaugurated in Hollywood (“Wings” wins ‘Best Picture’)

1991 [22] 14 Stanford University students begin leapfrogging and don’t stop for 10 days and 999.2 miles to set a new Guinness World Record

[Fri] Bike to Work Day
[Fri] Pizza Party Day
[Sat] Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony airs (HBO)
[Sat] Learn to Swim Day
[Sat] Visit Your Relatives Day
[Sun] 2013 Billboard Music Awards (Las Vegas)
This Week Is … Bike to Work Week
This Month Is … EcoDriving Month


• The ‘Motorola Razr’ phone is now in a museum.
• Last year, “Full House” had a 25th anniversary reunion party.
• You can now go up to a 15-year-old and say, “I have mp3s older than you.”
• Remember when floppy disks held 1.44 MB? That’s like 1.5 GIFs.
• Britney & Justin broke up over a decade ago.
• The original “Karate Kid” is now the same age that ‘Mr Miyagi’ was in the first film … 51.
• “Home Alone” was released closer to the 1st ‘Moon Landing’ (1969) than to now.
• “Super Mario 64” is 17-years-old.
• Kids born in 1995 are graduating from high school this year.
• The Backstreet Boys are hosting a fan cruise this October … a 20th anniversary fan cruise.
– Adapted from

☎ What’s your best tip for clearing the pressure in your ears during an airplane takeoff and landing?

I’m not sure whether to be relieved or not … my head X-ray showed nothing.

Question: Experts say you should never wear THIS article of clothing to a job interview.
Answer: A hat.

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when they fill out a job application.

Printer Friendly Version