Tuesday, May 17, 2016 Edition: #5732

Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!

★ Tonight on YouTube the “Webby Awards” celebrate a 20th year of honoring the best of the Internet, particularly the innovators and influencers in the digital world. Nominees include James Corden, Michelle Obama, One Direction, and Rihanna. Judges include Jimmy Kimmel, Questlove of The Roots, and Internet inventor Vint Cerf. Kanye West has already been named ‘Artist of the Year’ for “changing the cultural paradigm of how music is shared, released, presented, and consumed” throughout his career.
NET: http://webbyawards.com
– Forbes.com
★ What’s Sharon Osbourne going to do now that she’s dumped Ozzy? She’s heading back to Britain’s “X Factor” TV talent show for one thing. She’ll join another returning judge, Louis Walsh, when she flies to Wales for auditions in June for the show’s new season. Producer Simon Cowell and former Pussycat Dolls singer Nicole Scherzinger will also be on the judging panel for the upcoming season. Sharon last appeared on the “X Factor” from 2004-07. The returning judges are replacing Rita Ora, Nick Grimshaw, and Cheryl Fernandez-Versini.
– ContactMusic.com
★ The list of network TV shows getting the ax continues to grow; more than a dozen prime-time programs are now being cancelled to make room for new series next season. Among those being deep-sixed: “Agent Carter”, “Blood & Oil”, “Bordertown”, “Castle”, “CSI: Cyber”, “The Family”, “Galavant”, “Grandfathered”, “The Grinder”, “Minority Report”, “The Muppets”, and “Nashville”. If that leaves you needing cheering up, there are at least 10 new (or recycled) shows you can binge-watch on Netflix.
– AP
★ And Marvel’s “Captain America: Civil War” continues to rake it in at the box office worldwide. It’s performance is on par with last year’s “Avengers: Age of Ultron”. As of now, the domestic total is just shy of $300 million, while the international cume is circa $645 million for a global total of $940.89 million. It’s likely to become the year’s first $1 billion earner as soon as this weekend. The film’s performance has also pushed the cumulative, worldwide total for the 13 films that currently make up the Marvel Cinematic Universe to – whoa! – over $10 billion.
– BoxOfficeMojo.com

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Ty Segall & The Muggers (“Emotional Mugger”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (“This Unruly Mess I’ve Made”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – A rerun of a ‘Mash-up Monday’ episode with Flo Rida Georgia Line.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Moby (“Long Ambients 1: Calm. Sleep.”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Catfish & The Bottlemen (“The Balcony”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Coldplay (“A Head Full of Dreams”).
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – Jamie Lawson (“Jamie Lawson”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Maddie & Tae (“Start Here”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The middle 3 artists battle for the final spot in the finalé.
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo) – Soon-to-be-newlywed Mariah Carey.

• Black Eyed Peas – “The Voice UK” finalist Lydia Lucy has joined her mentor Will.i.am and filled in for Fergie during a Peas gig at London’s Royal Albert Hall. It was thought to be a one-off but now reports suggest she could be joining the group full time. Lucy tells “The Mirror”: “Will is a bit like Willy Wonka. He takes all these ideas and muddles them and it always seems to work.”
• Drake – He’s #1 for a 2nd consecutive week on the new ‘Billboard 200’ with his latest album “Views”.
• Keith Urban – His new album “Ripcord” is atop today’s new ‘Billboard Country Albums’ chart and ranks #4 on the all-genre ‘Billboard 200’. Other country discs in the all-genre top 10: Cole Swindell’s “You Should Be Here” and Chris Stapleton’s long-lasting “Traveller”.
• Kesha – Instagram quote: “I have been battling depression and an eating disorder for a while now. My career is in a strange place and it feels like I’m fighting an uphill fight some days. But I have decided to take my life back. My freedom. My happiness. My voice. My worth.”
• Mariah Carey – She’s emphatically denied that she’ll be singing at her own wedding. She confirms she’s already picked out her wedding dress, and that the event will be small but “grand”. She and Australian billionaire James Packer are thought to be exchanging vows in Tahiti. Just when we don’t know.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – They’ve now revealed that it was “complications from the intestinal flu” that forced singer Anthony Kiedis to pull out of a performance in Los Angeles on Saturday. He’s hospitalized but expected to make a full recovery.

Coming out on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Dirty Grandpa” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Right before his wedding, an uptight guy (Zac Efron) is tricked into driving his grandfather (Robert De Niro), a perverted former Army general, to Florida for Spring Break. Co-stars Zoey Deutch, Aubrey Plaza. Rated R for crude sexual content throughout, graphic nudity, and for language and drug use.
• “The Witch” ( R-Rated Horror ): When the newborn son of a family in 1630s New England mysteriously vanishes and their crops fail, they begin to turn on one another. Eventually they are torn apart by the forces of witchcraft, black magic, and possession. Stars Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson, and Kate Dickie.
• Also being released: “Angie Tribeca: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); “Carol + 2: The Original Queens of Comedy” (Classic TV Special); “Cop Rock: The Complete Series” (Vintage TV); “The Facts of Life: The Final Season” (1980s TV); “Mr Selfridge: The Final Season” (TV); “Troublemakers: The Story of Land Art” (Documentary); and “Xena: Warrior Princess – The Complete Series 1995-2001 (Vintage TV).

StayGo is a new free app that claims to be able to tell you whether your relationship is built to last or doomed to fail. It’s based on a series of algorithms and scientific data about what makes a relationship work, and involves a long survey about your relationship that assesses every part of your relationship – its strengths and weaknesses, your satisfaction, and any potential long-term clashes. Also StayGo can send out invites to whoever you choose, asking them to anonymously reveal what they think of your relationship. Meaning that, if your friends all think your boyfriend is an arrogant idiot and they can’t believe you’re with him, they’ll finally have a way to tell you just that. (Even your mom can chip in. What fun.)
– TheDebrief.co.uk

✓ It’ll stop you feeling like you got out of the wrong side of bed.
✓ It’ll actually make you want breakfast.
✓ Your workout will be more effective because you’ll have more energy to get through it.
✓ You’ll bounce out of the gym and bound to your desk ready and raring to go.
✓ You’ll sleep better. Post exercise endorphins from after-work exercise can keep you awake.
✓ Your metabolism will skyrocket.
✓ We do the same things every morning. Make exercise part of the routine and it will stick there.
✓ You’ll gleam. Who needs a full face of makeup when you’ve got a post-workout glow?
✓ It’s over and done with. So you don’t have to think about excuses all day long.
✓ You can annoy everyone in your workplace with your chirpy demeanor. Enjoy that!
– Adapted from “Metro”

Texting is worse than other forms of distracted driving, according to a new University of Houston study. It turns out most people have a sort of 6th sense that allows them to maintain a straight line in spite of many distractions. But texting ‘wreaks havoc’ on that, negating our innate ability to correct driving mistakes. The part of the brain that automatically intervenes as an error corrector requires hand-eye coordination. Texting disrupts this built-in auto correct so that we no longer subconsciously correct our mistakes. It’s hoped these findings can help make cars safer by initiating the development of systems that monitor driving behaviors. (Or you could just put the damn phone down.)
NET: http://tinyurl.com/z99veuk (‘Text & Drive’ billboard on the Gardiner Expressway in Toronto ON)
– “Live Science”

There certainly seems to be a lot more people on it. For first time in 15 years, the world is going easier on the booze. That’s right, global alcohol consumption has declined for the first time since at least 2001. According to market research firm Euromonitor International, global alcohol consumption fell by 0.7% in 2015. That translates to 1.7 billion fewer liters of alcohol consumed than in 2014. In a remarkable show of moderation, we only managed to put away 248 billion liters. Observers blame the drop on slumping economies across the globe. China, the world’s biggest alcohol consumer, drank 3.5% less booze in 2015. Major drops were also seen in Russia (8%) and the Ukraine (17%). In terms of specific types, rum and vodka had the worst 2015. But it wasn’t all bad news for the industry. Cider consumption rose 4.5%. (Mostly because it’s become trendy.)
– CNN.com

• Cheddar cheese is only orange because it is dyed. In reality, its color changes according to the season and the diet fed to cows. Farmers initially started dying it to avoid these color fluctuations.
• Since the 1890s, most pencils have been painted yellow. This is because the best graphite came from China where yellow is the color of royalty. Pencil manufacturers chose it to show their product contained the high-quality Chinese product. And the color stuck.
– List25.com


1962 [54] Craig Ferguson, Glasgow, Scotland, stand-up comedian/TV host (“The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” 2005-14)/TV actor (“Drew Carey Show” 1996-2004)

1965 [51] Trent Reznor, Mercer PA, rock singer (Nine Inch Nails-“Every Day is Exactly the Same”)/film score composer (“The Social Network”, “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”)

1970 [46] Jordan Knight, Worcester MA, former boy-band pop singer (New Kids On the Block-“Hangin’ Tough”)

1973 [43] Josh Homme, Joshua Tree CA, rock musician-songwriter (Queens Of the Stone Age-“No One Knows”)

1984 [32] Passenger (Michael Rosenberg), Brighton & Hove UK, indie singer-songwriter (“Let Her Go”)

1985 [31] Derek Hough, Salt Lake City UT, professional dancer (6-time champ on “Dancing With the Stars” since 2007) UP NEXT: Stars in the 2017 Broadway production of “Singin’ In the Rain”.

• “Pack Rat Day”, celebrating people who squirrel away all kinds of ‘stuff’. What’s the oddest thing you have that you refuse to throw away?

• “World Hypertension Day”, an annual observance to highlight that stroke, heart, and kidney diseases caused by high blood pressure are preventable.

• “World Telecommunications Day”, a UN observance since 1969.

2011 [05] The final episode of “The Oprah Winfrey Show” is recorded in Chicago IL, with many celebrities attending

2015 [01] Taylor Swift receives 8 awards at the Billboard Music Awards; Pharrell Williams, Meghan Trainor, One Direction, and Sam Smith are also multiple winners

2004 [12] Massachusetts becomes the 1st US state to legalize same-sex marriage (today is celebrated as “Same Sex Marriage Day” in America)

2009 [07] Gonzales (former Feist collaborator) breaks Guinness World Record for ‘Longest Public Solo Performance’ by performing 300 consecutive songs over more than 27 straight hours in Paris, France

2011 [05] The oldest panda in the world, Ming Ming, dies at the age of 34 in Guangdong, China

[Wed] Buy a Musical Instrument Day
[Wed] Emergency Medical Services Day
[Wed] International Museum Day
[Thurs] Great Escape Festival begins (Brighton UK)
[Fri] Rock On the Range begins (Columbus OH)
[Fri] Hangout Festival begins (Gulf Shores AL)
[Fri] Bike to Work Day
This Week Is … Stuttering Awareness Week
This Month Is … Go Fetch! Food Drive for Homeless Animals Month


• On what was supposed to be a peaceful walk without any human interaction whatsoever, Julia hid behind 7 trees to avoid small talk with strangers. If Julia walked for 20 minutes, what was her average rate of trees per minute?
• Todd went to a quiet restaurant to read and eat a meal by himself. How many times did he have to tell the waiter to set the table just for one?
• At the grocery store, John bought 13 lemons that cost 99 cents each. He normally would not buy so many lemons, but he spotted a co-worker from afar and panicked. How much did John pay for these unnecessary lemons?
• 5 people telephoned Henry on Saturday and actually expected him to pick up. How long did it take Henry to email them back?
• Brian dragged Deirdre to a party. If Deirdre spent 6 minutes trapped in boring conversation with strangers, 13 minutes hovering alone near the hors d’oeuvres, and 8 minutes petting a dog in the corner, how much time passed before Deirdre decided to leave?
• Larry’s Netflix account costs $10 per month. If, over the course of a year, Larry stayed home every Friday and Saturday night, how many times did he hit the ‘Continue Watching’ button?
– Thanks to Eric Auld

☎ Drunk drivers should be imprisoned on the first offense. Yes or no?

• What’s the official plural of the word ‘marlin’?
a. Marlins
b. Marlone
c, Marlin [CORRECT, according to “Websters College Dictionary”. This means Miami’s National League baseball team is technically misnamed. The same would seem to be true of the National Football League’s Miami Dolphin(s).]

• Which has to be 16 feet, 3 inches long and 4 inches wide in order to be sanctioned official?
a. A diving board in competitive diving.
b. A balance beam in gymnastics. [CORRECT]
c. A guy auditioning for “Magic Mike Live” in Las Vegas.
– Wikipedia.org

Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old … as long as she buys him a few drinks first.

Question: If you still have VHS movies at home, THIS is the title you’re most likely to have.
Answer: “The Lion King”.

It’s better to die on your feet than live on your knees.

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