Wednesday, May 18, 2011        Edition: #4508
Bully For You!

37-year-old TV actress Jenna Fischer (‘Pam Beesly’ on “The Office”) is expecting her first child with screenwriter-husband Lee Kirk (a season ago, this could have been a ‘work-related expense’) . . . Arnold Schwarzenegger has revealed he fathered a love child with a member of his household staff 10 years ago, something he only admitted to wife Maria Shriver after he left the California governor’s office (presumably causing their split-up) . . . 36-year-old movie star Leonardo DiCaprio has been spotted on a night out with 23-year-old “Gossip Girl” star Blake Lively, following his split from supermodel Bar Refaeli (at 25, she was getting too old for his taste) . . . “Mad Men” star January Jones has opened up about her split from Jason Sudeikis (“SNL”) earlier this year, saying it was the ‘long distance’ in their relationship that drove them apart (she still won’t confirm if he’s the father of her expected child) . . . Staff at the Eden Roc Hotel in Cannes, France reportedly asked a late-night private party that included the likes of Kirsten Dunst, Jon Ham, and Vanessa Hudgens to keep the noise down as they were disturbing ‘Brangelina’ in a nearby villa (hey, the 6 kids are trying to sleep!) . . . “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane is looking to launch a revamped animated version of “The Flintstones” on FOX-TV in 2013 (it originally aired 1960-66 as the first primetime cartoon series) . . . Simon Cowell’s brother Tony reveals the music mogul has been a huge fan of Frank Sinatra since he was a teenager and was thrilled to receive Sinatra’s actual golf shoes as a birthday gift (he hates golf but had them framed for display) . . . DirecTV has had such success in renting video-on-demand home movies for $30 while they are showing in theaters that competitor DISH is set to follow suit with a service tagged ‘Home Premiere’ (at least the popcorn’s a deal) . . . A new poll has selected director Gus Van Sant’s drama “Milk” (2008) as the best movie depicting gay people in the last 10 years (it won Sean Penn a ‘Best Actor’ award) . . . And 3-time “Survivor” castaway Russell Hantz is set to star in the new reality TV series “Flipped” (A&E), in which he and his family attempt to ‘flip’ properties (buy cheap, immediately sell higher) in Houston TX (um, we’re pretty much Russell-ed out … you?).

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – The finalists each perform 3 songs.
• “Gayle King” (OWN) – Wynonna & Naomi Judd (“I Will Stand By You: The Essential Collection”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Donny Osmond (“Donny & Marie Live”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Christina Perri (“Lovestrong”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Kills (“Midnight Boom”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Little Big Town (“The Reason Why”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Head & The Heart (“The Head & The Heart”)
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Ben Harper performs “Rock n’ Roll Is Free” (“Give Till It’s Gone”) plus a “Live On Letterman” webcast concert.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Matthew Morrison (“Glee”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Sheila E & The Family (“From E 2 U”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Shania Twain (“From This Moment On”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Iron & Wine (“Kiss Each Other Clean”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Jessie J (“Who You Are”).

• “America’s Next Top Model” (CW)
• “Breaking In” (FOX)
• “Criminal Minds” (CBS)
• “Law & Order: SVU” (NBC)

• Ashlee Simpson – She’s apparently throwing herself back into music following her marriage split from Pete Wentz (Fall Out Boy), confirming she has been working on new material.
• Death Cab For Cutie – Tonight in Toronto (Phoenix Concert Theatre) they kick off their small-venue “Underplay Tour” in support of their upcoming album “Codes & Keys”, due May 31st.
• Lady Antebellum – “Just a Kiss” has debuted at #7 on the “Billboard” magazine all-genre ‘Hot 100’, making it the highest debut by a country group in the chart’s 52-year history.
• Lady Gaga – She’s become the first to collect 10 million Twitter followers, fully 400,000 more than Justin Bieber at 9.6 million.
• Paul McCartney – The 68-year-old former Beatle is making a record of his ‘dad’s style of music’, a collection of pre-rock era cover songs that will include an orchestra as well as jazz singer Diana Krall on some tracks.
• Stone Temple Pilots – In his new book, “Not Dead & Not For Sale: A Memoir”, Scott Weiland admits his heart was never in supergroup Velvet Revolver and his only motivation for fronting the band in 2003 was money. He was eventually fired from the group in 2009.

Thanks to record-high gasoline prices, consumers are making fewer shopping trips, eating out less, and even skimping on groceries in an attempt to rein in household budgets, according to a new survey. The ARG poll finds about a third of us are making fewer trips to stores and 53% are also cutting back on small luxuries like ‘sit-down dining’. (So what are you considering giving up, thanks to our addiction to oil?)
– Thomson Reuters

5. “Ghengis Khan” (2002) starring Steven Seagal, who’s not even slightly Asian … and doesn’t have the acting chops to fake it.
4. “Diamond Dead” (2004), director George Romero’s proposed story about a ‘zombie rock band’.
3. “Westworld” (2002) starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as an evil robot cowboy … with an Austrian accent.
2. “Stray Dawgz” (2000), with Ice Cube fighting a ‘new breed’ of werewolf.
1. “The Nightmare of Edgar Allan Poe” (2001) starring Michael Jackson. Like his proposed musical version of “Peter Pan”, it mercifully got shelved.
– Adapted from

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Briet’ – A diet that a bride uses to lose weight before her wedding day. (“I’m on the Kate Middleton briet so I can squish into my size zero gown in June.”)
• ‘Griefer’ – In a game, forum, or similar online venue, a person who intentionally and repeatedly harasses other users. (“I’m outta here … that griefer Gaga is wearing me out with all her posts.”)
• ‘SoLoMo’ – A mash-up of ‘social, location, and mobile’, these are smartphone apps that combine social networking and location data. (One of the most popular is Foursquare, where users check-in at venues in order to win points and ‘badges’.)

In her new book, “Knowing Your Value: Women, Money & Getting What You’re Worth”, MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” co-host Mika Brzezinski offers tips on climbing the corporate ladder and scoring yourself a raise. Among them …
• It doesn’t matter if co-workers like you. If you are productive and your work adds to the equation of the company, you will stay and you will thrive.
• Keep your friends close and leave your co-workers at the office. ‘Colleagues’ in tough, stressful, competitive companies are not your friends.
• Don’t let emotions get in the way. Remember business is business; it’s not personal. Letting resentment or anger stew in your mind just makes you less able to do your best work.
• Make yourself visible. Bring attention to your accomplishments and don’t feel uncomfortable about it. Be your own cheerleader, and your boss will think of you when it’s time for a promotion.
• Brag about your accomplishments first; then ask for a raise. Your secret weapon for success at this is making a list of everything you do and what value it brings to the company.
(A related “USA Today Snapshot” poll finds that 54% of women have NEVER asked for a raise.)
– Excerpted from “Cosmopolitan”

A new UK poll asks at what age women should stop wearing various styles. A few highlights …
• Miniskirts … a faux pas after age 35, according to survey respondents.
• Bikinis … age 47 is the cutoff for wearing a bikini; age 61 for swimsuits altogether.
• Stiletto Heels … age 51 is said to be the outer limit.

• An Israeli couple has christened their kid … ‘Like’. No, it’s not because she’s a Valley Girl; Lior & Vardit Adler named their bouncing baby girl after the Facebook ‘Like’ button (which recently celebrated its first birthday). The moniker is not meant to be a gimmick, and the Adlers promise they’re not shilling for Facebook. They just ‘like’ the name ‘Like’.
• As a result of a bill just approved by Illinois lawmakers some citizens will soon be allowed to collect … roadkill. Under the new law, those with proper permits will be able to retrieve certain in-season, furry mammals killed by motorists. They can do whatever they please with the carcasses, whether it’s skin them for their hides or add them to a rustic stew.
– Associated Press
• Tough-talking Russian prime minister Vladimir Putin has become the object of veneration for a bizarre all-female sect whose followers believe he’s a reincarnation of … St Paul the Apostle. The odd sect believes that Putin (a former KGB official) is on ‘a special mission from God’, an idea that even Putin’s spokesman dismisses.
– “Daily Telegraph”

• The hemlines of school skirts in South Korea have risen 10-to-15 cm (4-to-6 inches) in the last decade.
– BBC News Magazine
• 400 of  the wealthiest individuals in the USA have more wealth than half of all Americans combined.


1952 [59] George Strait, Poteet TX, country singer (“I Gotta Get to You”, “It Just Comes Natural”)/most #1 hits of any country artist (57 and counting)

1955 [56] Chow Yun-Fat (Yun-Fat Chow), Hong Kong, China, movie actor (“Bulletproof Monk”, “Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon”)

1970 [41] Tina Fey, Upper Darby PA, TV actress/writer/producer (“30 Rock” since 2006, “Saturday Night Live” 1997–2006)/movie actress (“Megamind”, “Date Night”)/author (“Bossypants”)/winner of 7 Emmys, 3 Golden Globe Awards, 4 Screen Actors Guild Awards, and 4 Writers Guild of America Awards

1975 [36] Jack Johnson, North Shore HI, pop singer/songwriter (“You & Your Heart”, “Upside Down”)

1979 [32] David Nail, Kennett MO, country singer (“Let It Rain”, “Red Light”)

• “Employee Health & Fitness Day”, observed annually on the 3rd Wednesday in May to promote the benefits of physical activity in enhancing the overall health & productivity of    organizations. Founded in 1989, it has now enlisted tens-of-thousands of participants from employers around-the-world.

• “International Museum Day”, established in 1977 by the International Council of Museums to draw attention to the world’s museums, no matter how large, small, or strange. A few truly odd ones …
– The Sulabh International Museum of Toilets (New Delhi, India)
– The Museum of Menstruation & Women’s Health (Hyattsville MD)
– Bata Shoe Museum (Toronto ON)
– The British Lawnmower Museum (Southport UK)
– Museum of Condoms (Condom, France)
– Dog Collar Museum (Leeds UK)

• “No Dirty Dishes Day”, if nothing else a convenient excuse to eat 3 meals in a restaurant.

• “Send an Electronic Greeting Card Day”, because nothing says ‘Oops, I forgot!’ better than a cheesy freebie greeting delivered via email.

• “Visit Your Relatives Day”, a day to renew relationships with seldom-seen relatives. Uh, maybe there’s a reason they are seldom seen?

2001 [10] Animated hit “Shrek” is released in movie theaters and goes on to rack up $484 million in worldwide box office (Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, and Cameron Diaz later reprise their roles in 3 sequels, released in 2004, 2007, and 2010)

1999 [12] Backstreet Boys release “Millennium” album (1.13 million copies sell the first week)

1986 [25] Chung Kwung Ying performs 2,750 ‘Hand-Stand Push-Ups’

2004 [07] Arizona Diamondbacks’ 40-year-old lefty Randy Johnson becomes ‘Oldest Major League Baseball Pitcher to Throw a Perfect Game’, beating Atlanta Braves 2-0

[Fri] “Pirates Of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] Bike to Work Day
[Sat] Wait Staff Day
[Sat] Endangered Species Day
[Sat] US Armed Forces Day
[Sat] Preakness Stakes (Baltimore MD)
[Sun] 2011 Billboard Music Awards (ABC)
[Mon] Victoria Day (Canada)
This Week Is … Backyard Games Week
This Month Is … Arthritis Awareness Month


• “I can’t believe it’s not lard!”
• “Come for the goat cheese. Stay for the pig’s feet!”
• “10,000 undertakers can’t be wrong!”
• “As seen on TV … if you were watching at 4 am last Tuesday.”
• “Have another serving, porky!”
• “All-natural … except for the synthetic bacon.”
• “Which are you gonna believe … boring lab studies or cool TV commercials?”
• “Give us a week, and we’ll shut off your heart. “
• “Almost no chance of infection!”
• “We can’t spell ‘sucker’ without ‘u’.”

If you could have any deceased musician or group play at your birthday party, which would you pick?

She’s so dumb she stared at a can of frozen orange juice for an hour because it said ‘concentrate’.

What have more adult women than men acquired since 2006?
a. A Harley-Davidson motorcycle.
b. An advanced degree. [CORRECT. More women over 25 have a master’s degree or higher.]
c. A mistress.

Today’s Question: THESE were common until 3 years ago; nowadays not so much.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Annual raises.

You can’t win them all, but you can sure lose them all.

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