Thursday, May 18, 2017 Edition: #5977

Bully For You!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Hackers have obtained a copy of an upcoming Disney film and are threatening to release more and more snippets of it unless the company pays a “huge sum” of bitcoins.  Speculation is that the movie involved is the newest “Pirates of the Caribbean” film or perhaps “Cars 3.” The company is reportedly refusing to pay.
(Bitcoins?  Whatever happened to ‘small, unmarked bills’?)
-Toronto Sun
★ Zac Efron will play serial killer Ted Bundy in the upcoming movie ‘Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil And Vile.’  The 29-year-old actor has signed on to portray the notorious American psychopath in an independent drama to be directed by Joe Berlinger.
-Variety
★ If you have been holding out hope for a ‘Friends’ reunion, you might as well give up.  Co-Creator Marta Kauffman says any kind of reunion or reboot is off the table.  After Lisa Kudrow mentioned that the cast themselves held their own get-together without cameras, the hopeful rumors started up again, but Kauffman is adamant that an official reunion will never happen.  Ever.
(A ‘Friends’ reboot….wouldn’t that be about the worst thing ever?)
-US
★ Michael Moore and Harvey Weinstein are set to reteam for the first time since 2004’s ‘Fahrenheit 9/11′ on a Donald Trump documentary titled ‘Fahrenheit 11/9′.  The film title refers to Nov. 9, 2016, the date that Trump became president-elect of the United States. 11/9 also offers a palindromic bookend to 9/11, which took aim at the George W. Bush administration and the Iraq War (9/11 referred to the date of the 2001 terror attacks that served as the pretext for the Iraq War).
(What took you so long, Michael?  We figured you’d be on this about 6 months ago!)
-Hollywood Reporter
★ Make no mistake, Jimmy Kimmel will be back to host the 90th Academy Awards show in March 2018.  This year’s Oscars will inevitably go down in history for the infamous mix-up over who won Best Picture, but producers are obviously happy with the job Kimmel did as host.  Jimmy, however, is not so sure.  Quote:   “If you think we screwed up the ending this year, wait until you see what we have planned for the 90th anniversary show!”
-ContactMusic
★ While Conan O’Brien vigorously defends himself from copyright infringement allegations by a writer who said Conan plagiarized jokes about Caitlyn Jenner, Tom Brady and the Washington Monument, here is an example of the claimed original joke Tweeted by Alex Kaseberg:  “The Washington Monument is ten inches shorter than previously thought. You know the winter has been cold when a monument suffers from shrinkage.”
And Conan: “Yesterday surveyors announced that the Washington Monument is ten inches shorter than what’s been previously recorded. Yeah. Of course, the monument is blaming the shrinkage on the cold weather.”
(I know.  Neither is exactly Shakespeare, are they?)
-Washington Post

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Johnny Depp, “Science Bob” Pflugfelder, Linkin Park, Ann Wilson
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Dwayne Johnson, Ellie Kemper, Charlie Puth
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Ricky Gervais, Corey Hawkins, The xx
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jeffrey Tambor, Debra Messing, Michael Barbaro, Mark Guiliana
• “Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Benicio Del Toro, Diane Lane, Michael Fassbender, Harry Styles
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV): Jessica St. Clair, Lennon Parham, Tennis System, Londale Theus Jr.
• “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy): Kerry Washington
• “@Midnight with Chris Hardwick” (Comedy): Bess Kalb, Vance Sanders, Murray Valeriano
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Aaron Paul, Bert Kreischer, Colony House ( R )
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Matthew Perry, Gordon Ramsay
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Byron Pitts
• “The Talk” (CBS): Diane Lane, Sheila Nevins, guest co-host Jessica Capshaw
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kerry Washington, 2017 Mathcounts champion Luke Robitaille
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Johnny Depp, Niall Horan
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX): Ashley Graham, Richard Blais
• “Harry” (NBC/CTV): Ashley Graham, Reid Scott, Ivan Orkin
• “The Amazing Race” (CBS): “I Thought We Were Playing It Nice”
• “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC): Season 13 finale
• “Scandal” (ABC): Season 6 finale

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Katy Perry – is not only the only ‘American Idol’ judge announced so far, but she had an announcement of her own this week.  Her new “Witness” album drops on June 9.  She will perform on Saturday Night Live this weekend.
• Taylor Hicks – is definitely NOT on board with Chris Daughtry as a judge on “American Idol”  and his reason is simple –Daughtry didn’t win the competition.  Daughtry finished 4th back in season 5, the season that Hicks won.  Is Mr. Soul Patrol interested in judging?  Yes.
• Miley Cyrus – says she wouldn’t do a ‘Hannah Montana’ reboot because it would mean spending too much time with her dad, who also played her father in the show.
• Elle King – has revealed she got married in secret in 2016, and is now getting a divorce. She was believed to have skipped out on her wedding to long-term partner Andrew Ferguson last month after she claimed she decided to attend an Eagles of Death Metal concert instead, but has now revealed they actually tied the knot – and their relationship is now coming to an end.
• Harry Styles – says that he “never felt the need” to define his own sexual orientation. He says that he doesn’t feel that it is something that he has to explain about himself. (In 2013, Styles shot down rumors that he is bisexual.)
• Bon Jovi pulled off a surprise appearance at Fairleigh Dickinson University’s commencement exercises Tuesday.  The school won a contest to bring the band to play their graduation by generating the most interest on social media.  Like the school, the Bon Jovi’s roots are in New Jersey.
• Celine Dion – will celebrate the 20th anniversary of “My Heart Will Go On” from the Titanic soundtrack with a live performance during the 2017 Billboard Music Awards on Sunday.
• Lady Antebellum – have released a new music video for their latest single, “You Look Good.” The track comes off their upcoming seventh studio album, Heart Break, which is slated for release June 9.
• Rascal Flatts – their tenth studio album “Back to Us” debuts this tomorrow and the band has just released the second single from the album: “Dance.”

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies in the making…
• “Bruised” – Blake Lively is set to play a Mixed Martial Arts fighter in this drama. The movie  tells the story of Jackie, a single mother working two jobs and a disgraced MMA fighter who has been up against the ropes her entire life. When authorities threaten to take her son away from her, she’s forced to get back in the cage to fight for redemption.
• “Orson Welles documentary” – Netflix has that Morgan Neville will direct an original documentary about the final 15 years of Orson Welles’ life.  Netflix recently came on board to add completion funds for Welles’ last, unfinished film ‘The Other Side Of Wind’. The two films will launch in tandem in 2018.
• “Colette” – ‘The Affair’ star Dominic West will appear opposite Keira Knightley in this film based on the life of the French author who wrote ‘Gigi’ and ‘Cheri’.  Shooting is expected to get underway in coming weeks in UK and Hungary.
• “Aquaman” –  Chinese actor Ludi Lin, who was recently seen playing the Black Ranger in Liongate’s “Power Rangers” reboot, has landed the role of Murk in this Warner Bros. DC superhero film.  Aquaman’s trusted ally, Murk is the leader of the front-line army of Atlantis, known as the Men-of-War, according to the original comics. December 2018.

10 THINGS THAT TURN 20 IN 2017:
“Mmm-Bop” did not age well.  Let’s see if these things did:

1. ‘Titanic’ – Best Picture Oscar winner and still the second-highest-grossing film of all time
2. ‘98 Degrees’ – Nick and Drew Lachey, Jeff Timmons and Justin Jeffre joined the boy band scene in July 1997, when they released their self-titled debut, which featured the gem “Invisible Man.”
3. ‘Backstreet Boys’ – Their North American debut album was actually a compilation of songs from their first and second international albums.  They are on the road again as we speak.
4.  ‘Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’ – Though the North American version of J.K. Rowling’s first Harry Potter book — which changed the “Philosopher’s Stone” to the “Sorcerer’s Stone” — didn’t hit shelves until 1998, British readers enrolled at Hogwarts in June 1997.
5.  ‘Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion’ – Lisa Kudrow and Mira Sorvino road-tripped to Sagebrush High to show Billy Christianson what he was missing in this riotous comedy.
6.  ‘Good Will Hunting’ – Matt Damon and Ben Affleck won their first Oscar (for best screenplay) for this drama about an M.I.T. janitor who just happens to be math genius. It also earned Robin Williams his first and only Oscar for Best Actor in a Supporting Role.
7.  ‘South Park’ – Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s animated, irreverent comedy — which has won five Emmys to date — premiered on Comedy Central on August 13, 1997. (And TV was never the same…)
8.  ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’ – Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe and Freddie Prinze Jr. ran from a hook-wielding killer with an ax to grind in this cult-favorite slasher flick.  (Freddie!  Where ya been??)
9.  ‘Men in Black’ – Will Smith made fighting aliens look good when he starred alongside Tommy Lee Jones in this sci-fi comedy.
10.  ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ – Sarah Michelle Gellar staked her first blood-sucker on March 10, 1997.
(Also turning 20 in 2017: My car, my newest suit, and that thing in the back of the fridge.  Don’t touch it.)
-US Magazine

THE LATEST AND NOT-SO-GREATEST:
Just in time for summer comes the latest fashion trend for men: The RompHim.  And yes, it is like a romper that you put on a baby or that a woman wears, but for men.  At first, I thought it was best to ignore them and they would go away, but now I’m seeing them online everywhere.  Next some dude will be wearing one at the mall and then it will just get out of hand.  A group of business school bros in Chicago have a Kickstarter going and seriously want to make this a thing.  It is a one-piece garment consisting of a top and shorts. It comes complete with a front shirt pocket and adjustable waist tabs, plus a zippered back pocket. You can still contribute to the Kickstarter campaign…or you can go ahead and buy one for $95.  Or a 3-pack if you really think your buddies won’t put a stop to this after the first time you try to be seen with them in one.
(Did anyone think of how to go to the bathroom in this thing?)
(Two words.  Romper wedgie.)
-Men’s Health

REALLY, REALLY LUCKY CHARMS:
If you know anything about Lucky Charms it’s that the bright-colored marshmallows are the best part—and, like me, you probably also picked out the sweet shapes and left the crunchy cereal bits behind for your younger siblings.  Well, General Mills is making one of your wildest childhood dreams come true and unleashing a version of Lucky Charms that consists entirely of marshmallows.  Between now and December, they are giving away 10,000 boxes of the good stuff, rolled out in three phases. The first phase runs through May 31. To enter, buy a specially marked box of Lucky Charms cereal and enter the code found on the inside back panel onto MarshmallowOnly.com to automatically find out if you’ve won. You can also request a mail-in code if you really don’t want to buy a box.  If that sounds like a lot of work, you can buy marshmallows that are nearly identical to the ones in ‘Lucky Charms’ on Amazon or from candy company IT’SUGAR.
(Still holding out for the full marshmallow version of ‘Count Chocula’!)
-Redbook

BS CHRONOMETER 05.18.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [71] Reggie Jackson, Wyncote, PA, baseball player (563 career home runs and was named American League MVP in 1973. Won 5 World Series Championships)

1952 [65] George Strait, Poteet TX, semi-retired country singer (“Here For a Good Time”, “River of Love”)/most #1 hits of any country artist (60)

1970 [47] Tina Fey, Upper Darby PA, TV actress-writer-producer (“Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” since 2015, “30 Rock” 2006-13, “SNL”)/movie actress (“Baby Mama”)/author (“Bossypants”)

1975 [42] Jack Johnson, North Shore HI, pop singer-songwriter (“You & Your Heart”, “Upside Down”)

1979 [38] David Nail, Kennett MO, country singer (“Whatever She’s Got”, “Let It Rain”)

1981 [36] Allen Leech, Killiney, Ireland, TV actor (‘Tom Branson’ on “Downton Abbey”
2010-15)

1987 [30] Luisana Lopilato, Buenos Aires, Argentina, soap opera actress (married to Canadian singer Michael Buble with whom she has two sons, Noah and Elias)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “HIV Vaccine Awareness Day”, promoting the continued urgent need for a vaccine to prevent HIV infection and AIDS.

• “No Dirty Dishes Day”, if nothing else a convenient excuse to eat 3 meals in a restaurant.

• “Visit Your Relatives Day”, a day to renew relationships with seldom-seen relatives. Uh, maybe there’s a reason they are seldom seen?

• “International Museum Day”, established in 1977 by the International Council of Museums to draw attention to the world’s museums, no matter how large, small, or strange. Here are a few truly odd ones …
– Air Sickness Bag Virtual Museum NET: http://www.airsicknessbags.com
– Amsterdam Tattoo Museum (Amsterdam, Netherlands)
– Barney Smith’s Toilet Seat Art Museum (San Antonio TX)
– Bata Shoe Museum (Toronto ON)
– Burnt Food Museum (Arlington MA) NET: http://burntfoodmuseum.com
– Canadian Canoe Museum (Peterborough ON)
– Exotic World Exotic Dancing Museum (Helendale CA)
– The Hair Museum (Independence MO)
– International UFO Museum & Research Center (Roswell NM)
– LeRoy House & Jell-O Gallery (LeRoy NY)
– Museum of Bad Art (Boston MA)
– The Museum of Dirt (Boston MA)
– National Museum of Funeral History (Houston TX)
– Riceworld (Los Banos, Philippines)
– Squished Penny Museum (Washington DC)
– Insectarium de Montréal (Montréal QC)
– Ukrainian Museum of Canada (Saskatoon SK)
– Vodka Museum (Moscow, Russia) with over 50,000 bottles on display. Visitors are offered 10 different types to taste.

AND REMEMBER (DAYS/WEEK):
[Fri] NASCAR Day
[Fri] Endangered Species Day
[Fri] Devil’s Food Cake Day
[Sat] Armed Forces Day
[Sat] Be A Millionaire Day
[Sat] Pick Strawberries Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2001 [16] Animated hit “Shrek” is released in movie theaters and goes on to rack up $484 million in worldwide box office (Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, and Cameron Diaz later reprise their roles in 3 sequels, released in 2004, 2007, and 2010)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2011 [06] John Lennon’s handwritten lyrics for the 1967 Beatles song “Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds” sell for $237,132 in Beverly Hills CA

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2004 [13] Arizona Diamondbacks’ 40-year-old lefty Randy Johnson becomes ‘Oldest Major League Baseball Pitcher to Throw a Perfect Game’, beating Atlanta Braves 2-0

2012 [05] Facebook raises $16 billion in the largest tech IPO in stock market history

BULL’S BITS

THE LAWS OF GOLFING:
• No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come.
• Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever.
• Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic.
• The higher a golfer’s handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.
• Every par-3 hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers.
• Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.
• All 3-woods are demon-possessed.
• The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.
• The last 3 holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.
• Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
– Adapted from FunnyLists.net

PHONE STARTER:
☎What is the most random thing you have ever had a conversation with a stranger about?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If every day is a gift, then today was socks.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
People aren’t against you.  They are for themselves.


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