Thursday, May 19, 2016 – Edition: #5734

Sheet Happens!

★ 41-year-old actress Eva Longoria (“Telenovela”) & fiancé José (‘Pepe’) Baston are reportedly set to wed this weekend in a top-secret (until now) beach ceremony in Mexico. According to a ‘friend’, the event is going to be huge and very lavish. Longoria had a nasty divorce from NBA star Tony Parker in 2011 after 3 years of marriage. 6 months after her divorce became final, she met Baston through a mutual friend. She dated the father of 3 for almost 2 years before becoming engaged in December.
★ Jimmy Kimmel’s calendar just got booked up. The late-night host has signed a 3-year extension with ABC-TV. The deal means that “Jimmy Kimmel Live”, which is currently in its 14th season, will remain on the air through at least the Fall of 2019. 48-year-old Kimmel is currently the longest-running late-night host among his peers, who include Jimmy Fallon (“The Tonight Show”) and Stephen Colbert (“The Late Show”). His namesake show has garnered 21 Emmy nominations, winning 3 of them.
★ Don Cheadle and Kristen Bell’s Showtime TV comedy series “House of Lies” has been canceled. The show enjoyed a 5-season run and the finalé, which was shot in Cuba, will air June 13th. Over the course of the series the show has tackled such hot-button topics as gender identity, wealth inequality, white privilege, police brutality, and interracial relationships with a biting sense of humor.
★ “Modern Family” actress Sofia Vergara is set to launch ‘So Very Sofia’ perfume, after teaming with Avon to create the new fragrance. The sweet-smelling perfume features passion fruit, Flor de Mayo Orchid, and base notes of herbal patchouli. The scent becomes available later this year. Sofia has already posed for the fragrance’s ad campaign, which debuts at the end of the Summer.

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Cage the Elephant (“Tell Me I’m Pretty”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Kanye West (“The Life of Pablo”).
• Great Escape Festival (Brighton UK) – Britain’s answer to “SXSW” runs through Saturday, showcasing the best up-and-coming talent all over the city.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Ariana Grande (“Dangerous Woman”, out tomorrow).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Radical Face (“The Family Tree: The Leaves”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Ziggy Marley (“Ziggy Marley”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Weird Al Yankovic (“Mandatory Fun”).
• Moogfest (Durham NC) – Named after the founding father of electronic music, this is the place to enjoy the genre at its purest. Performances from Gary Numan, Grimes, Miike Snow, and Odesza, as well as workshops for synth’ nerds.
• MusiCares MAP Fund Tribute Concert (Los Angeles) – Cedric the Entertainer hosts the 12th annual fundraiser. Honoree Smokey Robinson receives the ‘Stevie Ray Vaughan Award’ in recognition of his commitment to helping others with addiction recovery. Performers include Babyface Edmonds, Cee Lo Green, El DeBarge, Kem.
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Jason Derulo (“Everything Is 4”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Corinne Bailey Rae (“The Heart Speaks in Whispers”).

• Alanis Morissette – GSO Business Management has filed a $15-million lawsuit against a company partner (her former personal business manager) amid allegations of stolen funds. It’s claimed that $4.7 million in earnings belonging to former client Morissette are unaccounted for. Seems someone else’s hand was in her pocket as well.
• Beyoncé & Jay Z – They’ve now lost out on their 2nd ‘dream home’ in Los Angeles after being outbid by fashion designer Tom Ford, who topped their $49 million offer on a 10-bedroom estate in Beverly Hills by $1 million. The super-couple has been searching for the perfect pad ever since deciding to relocate from NYC to LA in 2014.
• Elton John – He’s confirmed that he has a role in the upcoming spy movie sequel “Kingsman: The Golden Circle”. It’s his first non-cameo film role since 1975’s “Tommy”. Shooting on the sequel has already begun in London.
• Jason Aldean – Tonight he returns to the road as his “Six String Circus” launches in Rogers, Arkansas. Thomas Rhett and A Thousand Horses are providing support on the tour, which includes a stop at Fenway Park in Boston MA with Kid Rock on September 9th.
• Kesha – She says she’s “sad and sorry” about her canceled appearance at Sunday’s Billboard Music Awards. She was initially scheduled to perform at the ceremony, but Dr Luke’s label Kemosabe Records has rescinded approval for the performance after initially providing the OK.
• Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – Their new video for “Dance Off” features powerhouse actor Idris Elba. The duo performed “Dance Off” on “Ellen” on Tuesday and on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” last night. Their North American tour starts May 25th in Vancouver BC.
• Maroon 5 – Bassist Mickey Madden has a community service deal after being arrested on cocaine charges earlier this year. He was taken into custody in January after allegedly passing a vial to a film producer outside a NYC bar. He’s accepted a conditional dismissal offer in exchange for … 1 day of community service, according to the “NY Daily News”.
• Rick Ross – The “Thug Cry” rapper has joined a scholarship initiative. Ross owns multiple franchises of the restaurant chain Wingstop, and he’s now teamed with the company to form the Wingstop Foundation, a charity designed to combat high school dropout rates.
• Zac Brown Band – Tonight in Hartford, Connecticut they launch the “Black Out the Sun Tour” of stadiums and amphitheaters. Drake White & The Big Fire is the opening act. They’ll also be returning to Boston’s Fenway Park for another 2-night stand this August 20th-21st.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie” – The film adaptation of the long-running Brit TV comedy, starring Cara Delevingne, Gwendoline Christie, and Rebel Wilson may be misnamed. Rumors suggest it’s such a flustercuck of unfunny gags that the director has been barred from the edit suite while producers try to rescue something half-watchable. It’s due to open July 22nd.
• “Suburbicon” – Woody Harrelson has joined a cast that already includes Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, Oscar Isaac, and Julianne Moore. George Clooney is directing. The story, from filmmakers Joel & Ethan Coen, follows a 1950s suburban family who undergo a home invasion that forces them to turn to blackmail, revenge, and betrayal. The film is due in 2017.
• “The Third Wave” – Ellen Page is starring in this indie thriller set in a zombie-infected world where normal human members of society are shunned. The virus that transformed people into zombie-like monsters has been cured, but that hasn’t ended the threat. Sam Keeley (“In the Heart Of the Sea”) is also set to star. Filming begins in Ireland in late 2016.
• “Transformers: The Last Knight” – Mark Wahlberg stars and Michael Bay returns to direct the 5th installment of the blockbuster franchise. And Josh Duhamel is coming back to co-star in the fight between the ‘Autobots’ and ‘Decepticons’, reprising his role as ‘Lieutenant Colonel Lennox’. “The Last Knight” is set to hit theaters in 2017.
• Untitled Schumer Film – Ike Barinholtz, who can be seen in this weekend’s “Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising”, is joining Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn in this untitled comedy, Schumer’s first film since her breakout hit “Trainwreck”. The story centers on a mother-daughter duo trapped in a vacation gone wrong. Barinholtz plays Schumer’s brother. Shooting starts in June.

A team of ex-Google engineers has founded the start-up Otto, with the mission of developing transport trucks that steer themselves. Self-driving trucks are easier to turn into a commercial reality than their family-car equivalent because they stick to highways which are easier to navigate than complex city streets. Otto has already outfitted 3 brand-new Volvo big rigs with a variety of sensors, including lidar (laser measurement), radar, and plain-old cameras. Testing has begun on roads in Nevada. Otto isn’t the only company working on self-driving trucks; a convoy of the things drove across Europe earlier this year. (What’s scarier … a robot truck or a hopped-up truck driver who’s been on the road 12 hours?)

When searching for engagement rings these days, without a doubt a ‘halo’ style will pop up. So what exactly is a ‘halo’? The halo ring is a setting that features a center gemstone surrounded by a collection of pavé or micro-pavé diamonds (chips). These pavé stones flash with light and focus attention back on the center stone to create interest and draw the eye. It’s said that a high-carat center diamond looks enormous in a halo setting. And a quarter-, third-, or half-carat diamond can look, by some estimates, as much as a half-a-carat larger. So no matter what your budget, a halo ring purportedly gives you a bigger bang for your buck. (Important when you want to sell it after the divorce.)

Drinking too much? Consider marriage. It lowers your risk of alcoholism, according to a new Virginia Commonwealth University study. Some complain their spouses drive them to drink, but the researchers say the opposite is actually true. The study, which looked at the legal, pharmaceutical, and medical records of more than 3 million people, has found that married men have a 60% lower risk of alcohol use disorder and married women a 71% lower risk compared with people who remain single. The results are even more pronounced for people who have a family history of alcoholism. However (and it’s a big however), the study has also found that marrying someone with a history of alcohol problems can actually increase the new spouse’s risk. (Marriage. Kind of a drastic way to stop drinking isn’t it?)
– CBS News

So-called ‘magic mushrooms’ may be an effective treatment for people with severe depression. UK researchers have dosed severely depressed volunteers with psilocybin – the active ingredient in magic mushrooms – and found it improved their condition for as long as 3 months. The volunteers, who’d been depressed for about 18 years on average, were given 2 doses of psilocybin a few days apart and allowed to trip inside a safe room with music playing and psychiatrists on hand. Afterward, all 12 participants reported improvement in their depression for at least 3 weeks; and 5 reported being depression-free 3 months later. It’s thought psilocybin might be an alternative for the 20% of people with depression for whom antidepressants aren’t effective. (First medical marijuana, now this. Will huffing glue be next?)
– “The Guardian”

At 30 years of age, ‘Scooter’, a Siamese from Mansfield, Texas has just been declared the ‘World’s Oldest Cat’, according to Guinness World Records. The feline has lived twice as long as the typical puss, but manages to stay active. Owner Gail Clark claims he still acts like a kitten by climbing up on her shoulder and following her everywhere he can.

• Hong Kong authorities glue pavement bricks down to prevent protesters from throwing them.
– BBC Magazine
• Human noses are less effective at air conditioning the body than the noses of chimpanzees and macaques.
– “New Scientist”


1944 [72] Peter Mayhew, Barnes UK, 7′-3″ movie actor (‘Chewbacca’ in “Star Wars” films, including “The Force Awakens”)

1945 [71] Pete Townshend, Chiswick UK, classic rock guitarist-singer (The Who-“Won’t Get Fooled Again”/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1990)

1949 [67] Dusty Hill, Dallas TX, classic rock bassist-singer (ZZ Top-“Legs”)

1954 [62] Phil Rudd, Melbourne, Australia, suspended rock drummer (AC/DC-“Moneytalks”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2003

1983 [33] James Richardson, Memphis TN, indie rock guitarist (MGMT-“Electric Feel”)

1992 [24] Sam Smith, London UK, pop singer (“Stay with Me”)

• “Boys & Girls Club Day”, saluting the efforts of those who create and maintain facilities for safe recreational activities for young people that help teach values and citizenship.

• “Brown Bag It Thursday”, observed on the 3rd Thursday of May. Bringing your own lunch will not only save money but most likely be more nutritious.

• “Hepatitis Testing Day”, a reminder for health care providers and the public to test for viral hepatitis. Millions have chronic viral hepatitis; most of them do not know they’re infected.

• “Plant Something Day”, which many people would do if they could only be assured the plant would grow. What’s the most foolproof plant you can stick in your garden?

• “Scooter Day”, a nationwide campaign to highlight the benefits of scooter riding and encourage families to get outside and scoot.

2006 [10] “The Da Vinci Code” starring Tom Hanks opens in movie theaters, based on the mega-selling Dan Brown novel (eventually accrues $758 million in worldwide box office)

2012 [04] A day after his company goes public, Facebook founder & CEO Mark Zuckerberg weds longtime girlfriend Priscilla Chan at his home in Palo Alto CA

2013 [03] A 1966 VOX guitar played by both John Lennon and George Harrison of The Beatles sells to an unidentified buyer who bids $408,000 at a NYC auction

2013 [03] Donald Trump declares country singer Trace Adkins winner of “The Celebrity Apprentice” on NBC-TV

2005 [11] “Star Wars Episode III – Revenge Of the Sith” opens at 12:01 am, then grosses $50 million in a single day, a new box office record

[Fri] “The Angry Birds Movie”; “Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising”; “The Nice Guys” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Bike to Work Day
[Fri] Pizza Party Day
[Sun] Canadian Immigrants Day
[Mon] Dylan Fest: A Celebration of Bob Dylan’s 75th Birthday (Nashville TN)
This Week Is … Safe Boating Week
This Month Is … Hamburger Month


• Isn’t the word ‘queue’ just 1 letter followed by 4 more silent letters?
• Do you agree that clapping is really weird when you think about it? Literally slapping your hands together to honor someone else?
• What exactly is ‘midair’? Is there some other part of air besides the ‘mid’ part?
• If you get cheated by the ‘Better Business Bureau’, who do you complain to?
• Can a women’s prison be called a ‘penal colony’?
• If work is so terrific how come they have to pay you to do it?
• When will all the rhetorical questions end?

☎ All citizens should be required by law to vote. Yes or no?

Scientists say they have isolated the obesity gene and that this will lead to new drugs to combat obesity. Thank goodness! I was worrying I would have to eat right and exercise.

Question: You are more likely to experience THIS if you’re married than if you’re single.
Answer: Heartburn.

Never make decisions when you’re angry. Never make promises when you’re happy.

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