Monday, May 20, 2013        Edition: #4988

Another Sheetload of Bull!

✳ A custom-made electric guitar played by George Harrison and John Lennon sold for $408,000 to an unidentified American buyer at the Julien’s Auctions ‘Music Icons’ sale at NYC’s Hard Rock Café on Saturday. Harrison played the semi-hollow-body VOX guitar while practicing “I Am the Walrus”; Lennon used it in a video session for “Hello, Goodbye”. Both songs were on The Beatles’ 1967 album “Magical Mystery Tour.” Last time it was auctioned, the instrument sold for $100,000.
✳ “Iron Man 3” has broken into the top 20 all-time box office list by earning over $1 billion worldwide in just under a month. The superhero sequel has also become the 2nd-highest-grossing comic book film of all time, overtaking “The Dark Knight” (2008). Atop the genre is “The Avengers” with $1.5 billion, making it the all-time #3 movie. As well as in Canada, the UK, and the US, “IM3” has become immensely popular in Mexico, Russia, and South Korea.
✳ The swatting pranks in Hollywood continue, with the latest victims being Miley Cyrus (again) and Paris Hilton (also for the 2nd time). Cyrus wasn’t even home when police stormed her place on the weekend, reacting to a fake emergency call. That came just hours after a prank 9-1-1 call claimed someone was holding Hilton hostage with a gun to her head. But again, when cops arrived, they found her home empty. LAPD still haven’t figured out who is behind the pranks.
✳ Poor Paris Hilton was moved to tears during the premiere of “The Bling Ring” at the Cannes Film Festival. Sofia Coppola’s new movie is based on the real-life gang of thieves who snatched over $3-million-worth of goods from the Hollywood homes of celebs such as Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Orlando Bloom. Hilton says she became emotional while watching the film because the burglary was ‘so violating’. “The Bling Ring” opens in theaters June 14th.
– “New York Magazine”
✳ Oscar-winner Christoph Waltz has assured fans he’s ‘fine and there’s nothing to worry about’ after a gun scare at the Cannes Film Festival on Friday. The “Django Unchained” star was doing an outdoor TV interview when a nearby man fired a weapon, which turned out to be loaded with blanks. The assailant also claimed to have a grenade, which fortunately proved to be untrue. Waltz was rushed offstage by security as police tackled and arrested the perp.
– “Daily Mail”

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – The Black Angels (“Indigo Meadow”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) – The couples compete in 3 rounds of dance on the final performance show of the season.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – She & Him (“Volume 3”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Jewel (“Greatest Hits”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – The National (“Trouble Will Find Me”, out tomorrow).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – “American Idol” winner Candice Glover.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – The-Dream f/Kelly Rowland (“IV Play”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Maroon 5 performs; the top 10 hopefuls perform.

• “Bates Motel” (A&E).
• “The Big C” series finalé (Showtime).
• “The Goodwin Games” (FOX).
• “Hawaii Five-0” (CBS/Global).
• “Mike & Molly” (CBS/CityTV).
• “Rules of Engagement” (CBS/CityTV).

• Beyoncé – It turns out the rumors may be true. E! News is exclusively reporting that the 31-year-old superstar really is pregnant again. There’s no word so far on whether her “Mrs. Carter Show Tour” will be affected.
• Britney Spears – This week she’s ready to get down to business on her 8th studio album with the help of executive producer They’ve been having intensive meetings about ‘the vibe of where Britney’s music will be coming from’.
• Justin Bieber – Is he about to ask on-off girlfriend Selena Gomez to marry him? It’s said his schedule is being kept clear for her 21st birthday in July; and an insider claims Beverly Hills jeweler Neil Lane has been tasked with designing a million-dollar engagement ring.
• Kanye West – According to “Rap-Up”, he’s set to release his 6th solo album, “Yeezus”, on June 18th. On Friday, he debuted his new single, “New Slaves”, by projecting the video on the walls of buildings in Berlin, Chicago, London, Los Angeles, Miami, NYC, Paris, San Francisco, Sydney, and Toronto. He also performed the track on “Saturday Night Live”.
• One Direction – Harry Styles has reportedly told friends he wants to ‘move up in the world’ by getting into higher-class circles. To that end, he reportedly has a ‘hit list’ of British royals he’d like to date, including Princess Eugenie, her sister Princess Beatrice, and Pipa Middleton.
• Portugal. The Man – Tonight in NYC they begin a North American headline tour that continues through a July 18th homecoming gig in Portland, Oregon. They release their new album, “Evil Friends”, on June 4th.
• Sugarland – Jennifer Nettles is taking a break from the Grammy-winning duo to work with legendary producer Rick Rubin on a new solo project. It’s hoped the resulting album will be released this Autumn.
• Taylor Swift – Having recently flipped her Hyannis Port waterfront mansion next door to former boyfriend Conor Kennedy for almost a million-dollar profit within months of purchase, she just snapped up a classic colonial Rhode Island mansion for $17.75 million that was originally listed at $24 million. If she ever needs it, she may have a fallback career in real estate.

A new study from Britain’s Lancaster University suggests the office is the ‘modern-day social club’. It’s where people of all ages and backgrounds are thrown together without choice to spend hours each day side-by-side, often in stressful situations. This increases the likelihood of tight bonds of friendship as even workers who seem to have little in common can become best friends in the face of adversity. In fact, the study suggests, office friendships can be closer and more emotional than any other. (Group hug, everybody.)

A magazine survey of women asks what is the key to good sex. The most popular answers …
5. Timing
4. Variety
3. Technique
2. Communication
1. Commitment
(Funny, ‘staying awake’ isn’t mentioned.)
– “Complete Woman”

Tourists go to seek a respite, while travelers go to experience and learn, and ultimately to open their minds and hearts to let different perceptions rush in. Travel is not just being someplace. If that were the case, then crossing the street would be traveling. No, travel is immersing oneself in the sights, sounds, smells, and nitty-gritty of another locale. It is taking the time to learn why each is so different from the one you came from. (What’s your most memorable ‘travel’?)
– “Christian Science Monitor”

You’re driving with both hands on the steering wheel and your eyes are on the road ahead. All good, right? Not if you’re on a hands-free cellphone and your route involves a left-hand turn. According to a new study, making a left-hand turn in a busy intersection requires a huge amount of brain activity, and talking on a hands-free phone call at the same time is more than the brain can handle. (For many, driving and chewing gum is a challenge.)
– “Frontiers in Human Neuroscience”

• Swaziland’s civil aviation authorities are cracking down on … high-flying witches. Anyone caught flying on a broomstick above an altitude of 150 meters (about 500 ft) now faces arrest and a hefty fine of $54,000. Witchcraft is taken seriously in Swaziland, where many believe in black magic. Last year, a Swazi MP called for a hike in the tax paid by witch doctors.
• This month a flight from LA to NYC was diverted to Kansas City because of a ‘disruptive passenger’, a woman who refused to stop singing “I Will Always Love You”. Despite repeated requests to cease and desist, the woman continued to belt out the ballad. Another passenger’s video shows her being led off the plane in handcuffs … as she continues caterwauling.
– “Los Angeles Times”
• A feminist group in Berlin, Germany has protested a life-size version of Barbie doll’s Dreamhouse by … going topless and burning dolls. The boob-barers are up in arms over the sexism and materialism they say Barbie symbolizes. The “Dreamhouse Experience” is a full-size pink house in which visitors can play with adult versions of Barbie’s possessions. Like Ken?

• “God’s bones” was the sweariest expression in medieval times.
• New Zealand has the highest per capita cat ownership in the world.
– “Times of London”


1944 [69] Joe Cocker, Sheffield UK, oldies singer (“You Are So Beautiful”, “With a Little Help From My Friends”)/movie actor (“Across the Universe”)

1946 [67] Cher (Cherilyn Sarkisian LaPierre), El Centro CA, Las Vegas attraction (“Cher At the Colosseum”)/pop singer (“Believe”, Sonny & Cher-“I Got You Babe”)/movie actress (Oscar-“Moonstruck”)

1972 [41] Busta Rhymes (Trevor Smith Jr), Brooklyn NY, rapper (“Touch It”, Pussycat Dolls f/Busta Rhymes–“Don’t Cha”)

• “Be a Millionaire Day”, a celebration of the joys of achieving millionaire status. Here’s how you go about it: First, get a whole bunch of money …

• “Eliza Doolittle Day”, a day named in honor of the lead character in the famous musical “My Fair Lady”. The occasion is inspired by a couplet from the song “Just You Wait”: ‘Next week on the 20th of May/I proclaim Eliza Doolittle Day’. Participants are encouraged to mark the day by making proper use of language.

• “Pick Strawberries Day”, which sounds like lots of fun until you get down in the dirt on hands & knees with sweat trickling down your forehead and spiders crawling up your arms. A better idea: Buy Some Freshly Picked Strawberries Day.

• “Victoria Day”, a uniquely Canadian holiday commemorating the birth of Britain’s longest-reigning monarch, Queen Victoria, on May 24, 1819. The holiday originated in 1901 after her death. Along with “Canada Day”, it’s the only exclusively Canadian holiday.

• “Weights & Measures Day”, in celebration of the 1875 treaty that established the International Bureau of Weights & Measures, thereby standardizing values. That means you’re just as fat in Pago Pago as you are here at home.

1993 [20] To celebrate the 274th and final episode of TV’s “Cheers”, Jay Leno does the “Tonight Show” live from the Bull & Finch bar (ironically, most of the cast seems to be drunk)

2011 [02] Woody Allen’s “Midnight in Paris” and the sequel film “Pirates Of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” open in movie theaters

1998 [15] Rocker Tommy Lee is sentenced to 6 months in prison after pleading no contest to abusing then-wife Pamela Anderson

2012 [01] Bee Gees singer-songwriter Robin Gibb dies of cancer in London at age 62

1874 [139] Levi Strauss & Co 1st markets ‘Blue Jeans with Copper Rivets’ ($13.50 per dozen)

[Tues] Wait Staff Day
[Tues] World Day for Cultural Diversity
[Wed] International Day for Biological Diversity
[Wed] Maritime Day
[Thurs] “Michael Jackson ONE” previews begin (Las Vegas)
[Thurs] World Turtle Day

Backyard Games Week / International Coaching Week / International Reggae Music Week / Medical Transcription Week / New Friends, Old Friends Week / Safe Boating Week / Stationery Week / World Trade Week


Highlight bits culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• Position your body at a 45-degree angle from the camera and put one foot forward. Then turn your head and shoulders slightly to face the camera.
• Stand up straight and throw your shoulders back and down.
• Hold arms down at your sides to hide hips, or bend them at a 90-degree angle to detract from a thick waist.
• Conceal a double chin by tilting your head slightly downward.
• Wear bright colors or black. Avoid white which will wash you out, and stay away from bold patterns which will make you look heavier.
• Don’t over-accessorize.
• Wear heels to lengthen your silhouette.
• Make sure the length of your dress is flattering.
• And for heaven’s sake … smile!
– First published in “BS” 2003.

• Whyzit expenses always rise to meet income?
• Whyzit insurance always seems to cover everything except what happens?
• Whyzit the amount of sleep needed by the average person is always … 10 minutes more?
• Whyzit boring people are never hoarse?
• Whyzit we think the traffic light will change if we talk to it?
• If sleep regenerates us, whyzit we look so bad when we first get up in the morning?
– First published in “BS” 2003.

☎ What would you do if you had an hour, a day, or a week with nothing to do and absolutely NO responsibilities?

Plug a popular given name into an Internet search engine (you’ll get better variety on less popular ones) and find the top celeb names that come up. Then ask your contestant to name as many as they can. For instance, who are the top 5 famous Georges on the Web?
5. George Michael
4. George Bush
3. George Clooney
2. George Washington
1. ‘Curious George’
(As searched on

Have you noticed? No matter what part of the world they’re from, all babies cry in English?

Question: Cuba and North Korea are the only 2 countries where THIS product is not available.
Answer: Coca-Cola.

Always draw your salary before spending it.

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