Wednesday, May 21, 2014       Edition: #5223

You Really Know Your Sheet!

★ Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger is a great-grandfather. His granddaughter Assisi has given birth to a baby girl according to a British report, though no further details have been revealed. The tot is the 21-year-old’s 1st child with her chef-boyfriend Alex Key. The arrival means Assisi’s mom, socialite and jewelry designer Jade Jagger, is a grandmother at age 42. She is also currently expecting a child. The pair celebrated in March with a joint baby shower.
★ The ‘King of Monsters’ will be reigning for a while longer, it seems. “Godzilla” officially has a sequel in the works after the monster-movie remake stomped all over the box office on the weekend, grossing almost $200 million worldwide. There are no details yet regarding the sequel, or even whether stars Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Elizabeth Olsen will be back a 2nd time around.
★ Kris Jenner has touched down in Paris, France for the wedding of ‘Kimye’ this weekend. And, as usual, the mother of the bride had to let everyone know about it via social media, posting a pic on Instagram of herself and a friend in front of the Eiffel Tower. If they’re trying to keep the wedding a secret, the momager doesn’t seem to be on board with the idea. Or maybe this is all sleight-of-hand to divert attention away from the real wedding locale?
– Sourced from
★ And George Clooney has reportedly asked Matt Damon to be his best man. The 53-year-old movie star proposed to his girlfriend Amal Alamuddin last month and, although rumors suggested he was planning to ask Brad Pitt to be his best man, it’s now been revealed that he’s chosen his “The Monuments Men” co-star instead. According to one insider, George once made a drunken promise to Matt that he’d make him best man if he ever got married, so Matt has called him on it.

• Amazon Prime – Today the first classic HBO programs appear on the Instant Video service. Among those scheduled to become available: “Deadwood”, “The Sopranos”, “The Wire”.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Veruca Salt (“The Museum of Broken Relationships”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Coldplay (“Ghost Stories”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Lykke Li (“I Never Learn”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Growlers (“Hung at Heart”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – The Colourist (“The Colourist”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV2) – Little Daylight (“ Hello Memory!”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Dierks Bentley (“Riser”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – “Dancing With the Stars” winners.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Barry Gibb (Bee Gees); Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin); the winner of “The Voice”.
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo) – Toni Braxton (“Unbreak My Heart: A Memoir”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – A Great Big World (“Is there Anybody Out There?”).

• “American Idol” (FOX) – The winner is crowned in Part 2 of the Season 13 finalé; a performance by Lady Antebellum.
• “The Americans” (FX) – Season 2 finalé.
• “Chicago PD” (NBC) – Season 1 finalé.
• “Law & Order: SVU” (NBC) – Season 15 finalé.
• “The Middle” (ABC) – The 1-hour Season 5 finalé.
• “Mixology” (ABC) – Season 1 finalé.
• “Modern Family” (ABC) – Season 5 finalé.
• “Survivor” (CBS) – The 2-hour Season 28 finalé.

• Ciara – The “Goodies” hitmaker gave birth to her first child early on Monday morning in Los Angeles, according to “New York Post”. The tot’s father is rapper Future, who already has 3 children from previous relationships. No further details are currently available.
• Coldplay – They have decided not to go on tour to promote their new album “Ghost Stories” because hitting the road is now too costly, according to frontman Chris Martin. Quote: “We’d like to have toured, but it is too expensive … so we couldn’t have afforded to go.”
• Guns N’ Roses – Tonight they launch a new run of Las Vegas shows at the Joint inside the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. The residency they’ve dubbed “No Trickery! An Evening of Destruction” runs through June 7th.
• Iggy Azalea – Hip hop’s most exciting new artist is also one of the most unexpected … a white, blonde, Australian female. Her album “The New Classic” became the highest-charting debut by a female rapper since Nicki Minaj in 2010. She’s also the 1st woman in hip hop to have 2 simultaneous hits in the top 5.
• Kanye West – He & Kim Kardashian are reportedly treating their wedding guests to a private, after-hours tour of France’s famous Palace of Versailles this Friday, the day before they wed.
• Lady Antebellum – Their new single “Bartender” may be about drinking pain away, but the song’s genesis wasn’t a liquor bottle … it was 2 cellphones. It began as a combination of a title Charles Kelley had on his phone and an idea Dave Haywood was fleshing out on his. It’s the first single from their new album, due later this year.
• Lana Del Rey – Word has it she’s agreed to perform her song “Young & Beautiful” at ‘Kimye’s wedding this weekend. Kanye West hired an orchestra to play the tune when he proposed last October. Del Rey has reportedly agreed to a 6-figure sum for the gig, says “Daily Mirror”.
• Maroon 5 – They’ve announced they’ll release their new album “V” in September after spending much of the last year recording material in Los Angeles. A new single will be released this Summer before their 5th studio album’s release.
• Michael Jackson – That hologram of him unveiled at this week’s “Billboard Music Awards” could be set to tour the world. The executors of his estate predict that a 2-year tour of the special effects extravaganza could make as much as a half-billion dollars.
• Paul McCartney – He’s been forced to cancel the 2 remaining dates on his Japanese tour due to illness. The 71-year-old is believed to have contracted a virus and doctors have reportedly ordered him to ‘complete rest’.

New additions to the 11th edition of “Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary” …
• ‘Catfish’ – A person who sets up a false personal profile on a social networking site for fraudulent or deceptive purposes.
• ‘Dubstep’ – A type of electronic dance music having prominent bass lines and syncopated drum patterns.
• ‘Steampunk’ – Science fiction dealing with 19th-century societies dominated by historical or imagined steam-powered technology.
– Associated Press
Potential new additions being considered for the “Collins Dictionary” …
• ‘Adorkable’ – The state of being adorable and dorky at the same time. Usually achieved by attractive, famous people who pull funny-face photos. (Zooey Deschanel, Jennifer Lawrence, etc.)
• ‘Duckface’ – An involuntary reaction experienced by a certain demographic when confronted with a camera. (Tags: Teens, Instagram, Snapchat, ducks.)
• ‘Gayborhood’ – Neighborhoods popular with the gay community. (The Castro in San Francisco,  West End in London, etc.)
– “Metro”

Android and Apple apps have been shown running side-by-side on the same devices thanks to new software developed by computer scientists at NYC’s Columbia University. The software, called ‘Cider’, has been created by postgraduate researchers in order to allow Android gadget users to mix and match the Android and iOS apps they load onto their phones or tablets. The team embarked on the project to get around the limitations that smartphone and tablet users are forced to accept. It seems like a stunning breakthrough, but the research team says ‘Cider’ is only a prototype and they have no plans to turn it into a commercial product. (The scientists giveth and the scientists taketh away.)
– BBC News Technology

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 90% of women say they ‘feel bad’ when they look in the mirror.
• 82% of women admit they like to shop because it’s fun.
• 50% of men have said “I love you” … by accident.
• 45% of Canadians say they would rather eat bacon than have sex.
• 37% of pet owners say the worst thing about owning a pet is ‘shedding’.
• 30% of gym users admit they never sweat when working out.

Come on guys, do we really want to go down this road? “Wall Street Journal” has already weighed in and rejected this unsettling prospect for Summer fashion … a return to short shorts on men. Mick Jagger, Pharrell Williams, and Russell Brand are among the notables who have embraced the fad. In the past few years, the low-water-mark length of a 15-inch-or-so inseam on shorts receded to knee-length (11 inches), then a knee-baring 9 inches, then to a quadriceps-exposing 7 inches, and so on to the newly fashionable thigh-flaunting 5 inches. (If men’s shorts were a glacier in Greenland, scientists would be freaking out.)

• Tonight is Game 2 of the NBA’s Western Conference Finals. The San Antonio Spurs and Oklahoma City Thunder had the 2 best records in the NBA this season. If the series reaches 6 games as expected, the Thunder will host the Spurs in what is the ‘Most Expensive Playoff Ticket to Date’ with a median ticket price on the secondary market of $514, according to ticket re-seller Vivid Seats.
• We’ve heard of mass weddings, and of dogs being involved in weddings, but a mass wedding of dogs is something entirely new. Around 40 pooches have been hitched in Lima, Peru, accompanied by their owners who received official wedding documents signed with paw prints. The pooches were decked out in doggy suits and wedding dresses while barking out their nuptials. The organizers created the event to promote pet responsibility among owners.

• Most carrots used to be purple until they were selectively bred into their modern orange color.
• Coconut water can be used as blood plasma.
• Popsicles were invented by an 11-year-old in 1905.
• One of the most hydrating foods to eat is the cucumber, which is 96% water.
• Ketchup was used as a medicine in the 1800s to treat diarrhea.
• Fruit-flavored snacks are made with the same wax that’s used on cars.


1951 [63] Al Franken, NYC, US Senator (Minnesota)/former talk show host (Air America Radio)/former “Saturday Night Live” writer-performer (1975-80, 1985-95)

1974 [40] Mikel Jollet, LA CA, indie rock singer-guitarist (Airborne Toxic Event-“Changing”, “Sometime Around Midnight”)

1980 [34] Gotye (Wouter De Backer), Bruges, Belgium [raised Melbourne, Australia], pop singer-songwriter (f/Kimbra-“Somebody That I Used to Know”)

• “End Of the World Party Day”, an excuse for an impromptu bash on the 3rd anniversary of radio evangelist Harold Camping’s 2011 prediction that the world would end on this day.

• “Employee Health & Fitness Day”, observed annually on the 3rd Wednesday in May to promote the benefits of physical activity in enhancing the overall health and productivity of organizations. Founded in 1989, it now attracts tens-of-thousands of participants worldwide.

• “Wait Staff Day”, set aside for restaurant managers and patrons to show appreciation for the efforts of servers.
– Should restaurant owners get away with paying minimum wages and expect customers to supplement servers’ incomes?
– What percentage is the proper tip these days?
– Are there occasions when you don’t tip?
– What other occupations deserve tips?

• “World Day for Cultural Diversity”, a UN-sanctioned event to help communities understand the value of cultural diversity and learn how to live together in harmony.

1999 [15] Soap opera star Susan Lucci (“All My Children”) finally wins a “Daytime Emmy Award” for ‘Best Actress’ … after her 19th nomination

2003 [11] Ruben Studdard beats Clay Aiken to win the 2nd “American Idol” competition (Aiken is now the Democratic nominee for Congress in the 2nd congressional district in North Carolina)

2008 [06] Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler, well-known for having overcome drug addiction decades earlier, shocks the rock world by checking into a rehab facility in Pasadena, California

2005 [09] ‘Tallest Roller Coaster In the World’, Kingda Ka, opens at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, New Jersey (456 feet or 139 meters)

[Thurs] Canadian Immigrants Day
[Thurs] World Goth Day
[Fri] Boston Calling Festival begins (Boston MA)
[Fri] “Blended”; “X-Men: Days of Future Past” open in movie theaters
[Sun] Indianapolis 500
[Mon] Memorial Day (USA)
[Mon] Rolling Stones tour resumes (Oslo, Norway)
This Week Is … Etiquette Week
This Month Is … Brain Tumor Awareness Month


Thanks to futuristic technologies on the horizon, these signs may be closer than they appear …
• Road Sign: “Speed Monitored by Drone”
• Public Washroom Sign: “All Selfies Taken With Smart Contact Lenses Will Be Shared in Real Time”
• Security Checkpoint Sign: “Caution: Do Not Enter Wearing Exoskeleton”
• Road Sign: “Keep Left Lane Free for Driverless Cars”
• Business Sign: “Jetpack Rental. Fly At Your Own Risk”
• Smartphone Warning: “Warning: You’ve Exceeded Your Weekly Social Sharing Quota”
• Elevator Button: “Push to Temporarily Suspend Your Holograph Companion”
• Supermarket Sign: “Order Your Printed Meat Here. 15% Off Synthetic Burgers!”
• Taxi Sign: “Driver-Free Cab”

Who’s the celebrity doing each of the following commercial voice-overs?
1. (Jon Hamm for American Airlines)
2. (Julia Roberts for Nationwide Insurance)
3. (Robert Downey Jr for Nissan)
4. (Oprah Winfrey for Jeep)

I’ve always said that sex is nobody’s business except the 3 people involved.

☎ Cellphone service on airplanes … good idea or bad?  Some airlines say they wouldn’t allow calls even if the ban is lifted, while others say they would consider it.

Question: Typically THIS happens to a woman at age 34.
Answer: She starts acting like her mother.

The meek shall inherit the Earth … if that’s okay with everyone.

Printer Friendly Version