Thursday, May 21, 2015       Edition: #5456

You Really Know Your Sheet!

★ A bio-pic about Elton John’s life is set to be adapted as a stage show. The musical movie “Rocketman”, which has been in the works since 2011, will star Brit actor Tom Hardy as the flamboyant hitmaker and feature Elton’s back catalogue of hits. And it’s now been revealed the creative team behind “Billy Elliot: The Musical”, which Elton scored, is working on developing the movie into a stage production for Broadway and London’s West End. It will also be titled “Rocketman”.
– “The Sun”
★ Veteran Latin singer/TV actor Ruben Blades (“Gideon’s Crossing”) is heading back to the small-screen in the upcoming spin-off of zombie TV series “The Walking Dead”. The Panamanian star has landed a deal as a series regular on “Fear The Walking Dead”, a companion series to the hit program. The spin-off, which has already been picked up for 2 seasons, will be set in Los Angeles and focus on new characters and storylines. “Fear the Walking Dead” is set to premiere this Summer.
★ Film producer Valeria Richter, who’s had part of her left foot amputated, has been stopped at the Cannes Film Festival for not wearing high heels. She claims a red carpet official pointed at her footwear and said: “No, no, this won’t work, you can’t get in like this.” The incident comes amidst widespread criticism of the festival’s apparent stance against flats. The official line is that heels are NOT part of any dress code and ushers have been ‘reminded’ of this. But numerous attendees have reported seeing women turned away. Movie star Emily Blunt has said she’d prefer to wear Converse sneakers on the red carpet … but then wore heels.
– BBC 5 Live
★ And a real-life version of the iconic ‘Duff Beer’ from animated TV series “The Simpsons” is set to go on sale around-the-world. The fictional beverage favored by ‘Homer Simpson’ has been the subject of many novelty and merchandise items during the show’s 26-year run but this is the first official ‘Duff Beer’ to launch. It’s gone on sale at Universal Studios theme parks in Orlando FL and Hollywood CA this month and plans are afoot to soon release it in Chile and in Europe, as well as the rest of the US. A rep says it’s being marketed as a real beer, not a novelty.

• “Beauty & The Beast” (CW) – Season 3 debut. Yes, this romantic thriller series used to air in the regular season. The CW is betting its established fans will also watch in the Summer.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Zedd (“True Colors”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Matt & Kim (“New Glow”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/Omni 1) – Gavin James (“Live at Whelans”). Rerun.
• “Red Nose Day” (NBC) – Wearing a red nose for a day may seem like a strange way to raise money for charity but it seems to work in Britain, where it’s raised more than $1 billion over 30 years. This initial US version of the fundraiser for children in need is a 3-hour special featuring comedy and musical performances, with over 70 celebrities participating. Among them: Adam Levine, Anna Kendrick, Benedict Cumberbatch, Christina Aguilera, Eddie Redmayne, Jimmy Fallon, Julianne Moore, Neil Patrick Harris, Pharrell, Reese Witherspoon, and Will Ferrell.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – John Legend (“All of Me”); Meghan Trainor (“Title”).
• Tree Town Music Festival (Forest City IA) – This annual Iowa country-rock festival is headlined by .38 Special (tonight), Dierks Bentley (Friday), Blake Shelton (Saturday), and Rascal Flatts (Sunday).

• Brad Paisley – The country star will open the Rolling Stones “Zip Code Tour” stop at LP Field in Nashville TN on June 17th. While it’s been a while since he was an opening act, he says he thinks he remembers how to do it. The Stones’ tour kicks off in San Diego CA this Sunday.
• Carrie Underwood – Songwriters Josh Kear & Chris Tompkins originally wrote her 2006 hit “Before He Cheats” with country singer Gretchen Wilson in mind. The song went on to become an enormous crossover success.
• Christina Aguilera – The final version of her 2002 mega-hit “Beautiful” uses vocals from her scratch take.
• Duffy – She’s planning a ‘major comeback’ for next year. The 30-year-old “Mercy” singer is working on new material and wants to ‘reclaim her place’ on the charts next to Adele, who she was compared to when both Brits released their debut albums in 2008.
• John Legend – He claims that every time he’s home from traveling and his wife Chrissy Teigen is working on developing her cookbook, he’s guaranteed to put on at least 5 lbs.
• One Direction – Liam Payne says Zayn Malik left 1D to save his personal relationship. Payne claims Zayn decided to leave the band back in March in a bid to rescue his romance with Little Mix singer Perrie Edwards.
• Rihanna – DC Entertainment has blocked her from trademarking her first name, Robyn (she was born Robyn Rihanna Fenty). The company, which owns the rights to “Batman”, claims it is too similar to the moniker of its superhero sidekick ‘Robin’ and consumers are likely to be ‘deceived’. Rihanna has been attempting to patent the name for an online magazine.
• Sam Smith – A rep for Boston’s Massachusetts General Hospital tells “People” magazine that the 23-year-old’s vocal cord surgery was a success. According to his website, Smith is now expected to return to performing live on July 3rd in the UK.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Accountant” – Warner Bros has set a January 29th release date for Ben Affleck’s upcoming thriller, his first film since 2014’s “Gone Girl”. Affleck plays a brilliant accountant who moonlights as an assassin. The film co-stars Anna Kendrick, JK Simmons, Jon Bernthal, and Cynthia Addai-Robinson. (Details on Kevin James’ spoof of the film are coming up below.)
• “The Belko Experiment” – Filmmaker James Gunn (“Guardians Of the Galaxy”) is co-producing/writing this horror story that follows an American company that is sealed off in South America and its employees ordered to kill each other or risk being killed themselves. The cast includes John Gallagher Jr (“The Newsroom”) and Tony Goldwyn (“Scandal”).
• “King Of the Roadies” – Willie Nelson’s daughter Amy has launched a crowdfunding campaign to help her complete a film about her dad’s roadie, Ben Dorcy. The 90-year-old, who has spent over 6 decades working with the likes of Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, and Patsy Cline, was the 1st inductee into the online Roadie Hall of Fame. The movie is being narrated by Willie Nelson.
• “Planetarium” – Johnny Depp’s 15-year-old daughter Lily Rose Depp has landed the role of Natalie Portman’s sister in this upcoming French drama. The period movie follows the siblings as they come to terms with their supernatural abilities. Portman, who moved to Paris with French husband Benjamin Millepied last year, has been honing her French to play the role.
• “The True Memoirs Of an International Assassin” – Netflix has acquired worldwide distribution rights to Kevin James’ latest comedy film, in which he plays an accountant who is mistaken for an assassin and is subsequently forced to flee to Belize. Filming is set to begin this September and the movie will debut exclusively on Netflix sometime in 2016.

Today a stunning record collection from a fan who bought every UK chart single in history goes under the hammer at a sale by Ewbanks Auctioneers of Woking, Surrey. Keith Sivyer purchased every new release from 1952 until February of this year when he died at age 75. The collection, which entails some 27,000 7-inch singles; 8,000 12-inch albums; and 10,000 CDs and cassettes, has been divided into 3 lots for the sale. Sivyer safely stored the covers for most of the singles and replaced them with white sleeves on which he wrote the date the song was released and the chart position it achieved. The massive collection was discovered crammed into his Twickenham home, neatly filed in alphabetical order on purpose-built floor-to-ceiling shelves surrounding rooms on 2 stories. There are so many records, the floor of the house had to be reinforced. (For more info, Google ‘OCD’.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

✓ You don’t have to date only one person at a time.
✓ If you really don’t want to go on a date, just cancel.
✓ If a date is going horribly, leave as soon as humanly possible.
✓ It’s OK not to be interested in someone … even if he’s very, very nice.
✓ If he makes you feel bad about your body, dump him. Period.
✓ If he ever makes you feel scared, for whatever reason, it’s time to move on.
✓ If the kissing is bad, all the other stuff will be even worse.
✓ If you feel like you have to convince him of how cool you are, he’s clearly an idiot.
✓ Texting after 10 pm and asking you to ‘hang out’ is, in fact, just a booty call.
✓ Your ex-boyfriend is your ex-boyfriend for a reason. Keep it that way.
– Condensed from “Cosmopolitan”

Pennsylvania inventor Anthony Ortiz is seeking crowdfunding for his new weight-loss tool, ‘SmartPlate’, a dinner plate that knows what you’re eating and when you’ve had too much. The gizmo features built-in cameras and weight sensors to identify the food being eaten as well as the quantity. It uses wi-fi and Bluetooth to pair with an app and keep track of the user’s diet. ‘SmartPlate’ does more than track overeating; it can also keep track of under-eating, or track carbohydrates for diabetic users. The app is designed to help you meet your dietary objectives, whatever they may be. Ortiz hopes to star shipping his product in 2016 if his Kickstarter campaign is successful. (Would you buy a plate that nags?)

✗ Hard boiled eggs … boom!.
✗ Frozen meat. Thinner edges start cooking while the thicker middle remains frozen.
✗ Breast milk. Uneven warming can create scalding hot-spots for sensitive little mouths.
✗ Plastic containers. Even products labeled BPA-free may release harmful chemicals.
✗ Travel mugs. Stainless steel mugs can damage your microwave.
✗ Ceramic or glass containers of water. Overheated water can erupt and cause scalding.
✗ China plates. Even if the metallic trim is minuscule, it may still react in the microwave.
✗ That mug you’ve had for years and years. If it’s really old, it’s likely not microwave-safe.
✗ Styrofoam containers. As a type of plastic, they can release harmful chemicals into your food.
✗ Nothing. With no food or liquid to absorb microwaves, the oven can be damaged or start a fire.
– Condensed from

Nearly half of parents admit they feel guilty about using their cellphones while supervising their children at a playground. But new research suggests neither that guilt nor fear of being judged by nearby parents seems to stop them. A University of Washington study finds 44% of parents, nannies, and adult babysitters think it’s important to limit cellphone use while supervising young ones yet fail to abide by their own ideals. Researchers have found that parents aren’t proud of their behavior, but boredom sometimes trumps principles. The study shows that more than half the time when children attempt to get the attention of a phone-using parent, that parent fails to respond. (Put the phone down and engage in real life … how hard is that?)

Endangered Andean frogs are being made into ‘smoothies’ in Peru as a supposed cure for illnesses and a type of natural Viagra.
– BBC News


1951 [64] Al Franken, NYC, US Senator (Minnesota)/former talk show host (Air America Radio)/former “Saturday Night Live” writer-performer (1975-80, 1985-95)

1974 [41] Mikel Jollet, LA CA, indie rock singer-guitarist (Airborne Toxic Event-“Changing”, “Sometime Around Midnight”)

1980 [35] Gotye (Wouter De Backer), Bruges, Belgium [raised Melbourne, Australia], pop singer-songwriter (f/Kimbra-“Somebody That I Used to Know”)

• “End Of the World Party Day”, an excuse for an impromptu bash on the 4th anniversary of late radio evangelist Harold Camping’s 2011 prediction that the world would end on this day.

• “One Day Without Shoes”, the annual day when we’re encouraged to take off our shoes to raise global awareness of children’s health & education. The idea is to start a conversation for change by going without shoes and sharing what you’re doing.

• “Wait Staff Day”, set aside for restaurant managers and patrons to show appreciation for the efforts of servers. A few questions to consider …
– What percentage is the proper tip these days?
– Are there occasions when you don’t tip?
– Should restaurant owners get away with paying minimum wage and expecting customers to supplement servers’ incomes?
– What other occupations deserve tips?

• “World Day for Cultural Diversity”, a UN-sanctioned event to help communities understand the value of cultural diversity and learn how to live together in harmony.

2012 [03] Final episode of “House” starring Hugh Laurie airs on FOX-TV, after 8 seasons and numerous awards

2003 [12] Ruben Studdard beats Clay Aiken to win the 2nd “American Idol” competition

2014 [01] ‘National September 11 Museum’ in NYC opens to the public

2005 [10] ‘Tallest Roller Coaster In the World’, Kingda Ka, opens at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, New Jersey (456 feet or 139 meters, still a record)

[Fri] “Tomorrowland” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] World Goth Day
[Sat] Polka Day
[Sat] World Turtle Day
[Sun] Drake’s “Jungle Tour” begins (Houston TX)
[Sun] Brothers Day
[Mon] Memorial Day (USA)
This Week Is … Etiquette Week
This Month Is … Brain Tumor Awareness Month


• No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come.
• Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever.
• Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic.
• The higher a golfer’s handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.
• Every par-3 hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers.
• Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.
• All 3-woods are demon-possessed.
• The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.
• The last 3 holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.
• Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
– Adapted from

I intend to live forever … so far so good.

☎ Your house is on fire! What’s the first thing you grab?

Question: Having THIS increases your chances of landing a job by 10%.
Answer: White teeth.

Half the people in the world are below average.

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