Thursday, May 22, 2014        Edition: #5224

Accept No Substitutes, Ask For 100% Pure BS!

★ After months of guessing which 2 stars would take over for Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson in the 2nd season of HBO’s “True Detective”, a website is now reporting that series creator Nic Pizzolatto is seeking a female-driven cast for the next season. And one of the names that may be on the bill in 2015 is Jessica Chastain. The actress, who was Oscar-nominated for her work in Kathryn Bigelow’s CIA thriller “Zero Dark Thirty”, is a welcome choice if the chatter on Twitter is anything to go by.
★ In what was probably the shortest forward planning meeting in Disney on Ice history, “Frozen” has been selected as the next movie to be turned into an ice-dancing spectacular. Yep, ‘Queen Elsa’ and ‘Princess Anna’ are coming to an arena near you because Disney just can’t seem to get enough of its animated cash cow. The sub-zero musical comedy has become the most successful animated movie of all-time. The ice show version is scheduled to debut September 5th in Orlando FL.
★ “Glee” stars Lea Michele and Matthew Morrison dated years before they became TV student and teacher on the hit FOX-TV show. The singer/actress has confirmed that long-standing rumor in her upcoming new book “Brunette Ambition” after previously insisting the romance stories were not true. Michele, who at 27 is 8 years younger than Morrison, comes clean in her memoir, admitting that they did in fact date ‘back in the day … for a Broadway beat’.
– “Us Weekly”

• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Lil Jon (“Crunkest Hits”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Jennifer Nettles (“That Girl”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Little Dragon (“Nabuma Rubberband”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tinariwen (“Emmaar”).
• “Last Comic Standing” (NBC) – Standup comedians perform for the judges in the 8th season debut; comedy mentors include Wanda Sykes and Howie Mandel.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Sulic & Hauser (“2 Cellos”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Kelis (“Food”). Rerun.
• Novello Awards (London UK) – The annual “Ivor Novello Awards” honor British musicians. Arctic Monkeys’ “AM” is up for ‘Best Album’ against Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds’ “Push the Sky Away”, and “Sing To the Moon” by Laura Mvula. Passenger’s “Let Her Go” is nominated for ‘Most Performed Work’ vs Emeli Sandé’s “Clown”, and “Troublemaker” by Olly Murs f/Flo Rida.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Actor Will Ferrell and look-alike Chad Smith of Red Hot Chili Peppers hold a ‘drum off’ as part of an online fundraiser that’s collected $300,000 for the Cancer for College charity.
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo) – Debbie Harry (Blondie); Lea Michele (“Glee”).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Pressure (“The Sound”).

• Hozier – 24-year-old singer/songwriter Andrew Hozier-Byrne grew up in Ireland’s rural County Wicklow in a musical family, listening to blues, Motown, and jazz. He studied music briefly at Trinity College Dublin before deciding to take his chances on his own. Some say he sounds like the musical offspring of Adele and Van Morrison.
• Janelle Monáe – Her “Golden Electric Tour” of Australia has been canceled due to illness. The singer had already nixed a date on Saturday in Melbourne and another on Monday in Sydney, when Live Nation Australasia announced the rest of the trek would not happen either.
• Led Zeppelin – The intro to “Stairway to Heaven” is stolen from a track called “Taurus” by the 1960s band Spirit. That’s what lawyers administering the estate of guitarist Randy California intend to prove in an upcoming lawsuit. They’re aiming to get California (who died in 1997) a co-writing credit on the tune.
• REM – They’ve released a massive digital music set that features 131 B-sides, live tracks, and non-album cuts from the band’s Warner Bros period. Titled “The Complete Rarities: Warner Bros: 1988-2011”, it boasts live and studio covers, a “Saturday Night Live” performance, alternate mixes, non-album tracks, soundchecks and more.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Guns of August” – 47-year-old Helena Bonham Carter is set to play her real-life step-great grandmother Margot Asquith. The film co-stars Charles Dance (“Game of Thrones”) as British Prime Minister Henry Herbert Asquith in a story set in the Summer of 1914, just before the breakout of WW1. Production begins in early 2015.
• “Hail Caesar” – For their next film, the Coen Bros are tackling a comedy that centers on a private eye (aka ‘fixer’) named ‘Eddie Mannix’ during the height of the old studio system in Hollywood. His job: Prevent ‘problems’ such as stars’ scandalous affairs from getting into the public spotlight. George Clooney’s name has been floated as the film’s potential star.
• “Jem & The Holograms” – Fans of ‘80s pop culture, rejoice! A film adaptation based on the popular 1985-88 animated TV show is on the way, starring Aubrey Peeples (“Nashville”) as ‘Jem’. Also in the cast: 1980s teen star Molly Ringwald. Juliette Lewis also has a role in the film which is already shooting in Los Angeles.
• “The Merciless” – Lionsgate has acquired movie rights to Danielle Vega’s upcoming horror novel about good girls gone evil. The story centers around a new girl at a small-town high school who is taken in by the popular clique, only to have them compel her to participate in a dangerous exorcism of a classmate. The book is set for publication on June 12th.

In 1974, when Erno Rubik was working as a Professor of Architecture & Design in Budapest, Hungary, he wanted to teach his students about the fluidity of geometry. So he went to the school’s workshop and built a cube made of smaller wooden cubes that were connected to one other via elastic bands. It took 6 years for Rubik to craft the finished version of what would eventually become the most popular toy in the world … Rubik’s Cube. Over 350 million have been sold since. The puzzle has become a full-fledged phenomenon with annual ‘speed cubing’ tournaments to find the fastest solvers. Is it tough? There are 43 quintillion possible combinations on the Rubik’s Cube, but only 1 solution. (This isn’t a toy … it’s a headache.)

The world’s electronic flea market has grown to 124 million active users buying and selling just about everything under the sun. A few tips on how to be a successful seller …
✓ Do Your Homework – There’s no excuse in the Internet age for not doing research before listing an item. Find out in advance what makes it unique and what kind of value it has.
✓ Force the Flash – Even when shooting photos outdoors, always keep your camera’s flash on. If not, the part of your item in the shadows will appear dark and black.
✓ Honesty Is the Best Policy – Be open about defects so you don’t have returns which risk negative feedback, the kiss of death for an online seller.
✓ Product Bundling – A great feature on eBay in the seller information is “See Other Items from this Seller”. This works particularly well if you’re selling a group of similar objects.
✓ Tell the Story – An enduring appeal of TV’s “Antiques Roadshow” is learning about the lives of the artifacts. Be sure to include any interesting back story in your item’s description.
✓ Leave It Alone – Do not attempt restoration unless you’re an expert. The safest course is to simply sell ‘as is’ because you can really cause damage if you don’t what you’re doing.
✓ Put a Bow On It – Wrap your sold object carefully in a padded envelope or, for bigger pieces, in a box with plenty of packing material. You want to earn positive feedback from buyers.

Music streaming service Spotify now has 10 million paying subscribers and more than 40 million active users in 56 countries. Since Spotify’s launch in 2008, the site claims users have created over 1.5 billion playlists, collectively creating or updating over 5 million playlists each day. The site has also announced that Eminem is the ‘Most Streamed Artist of All-Time’, followed by David Guetta. Rihanna is the ‘Most Streamed Female Artist of All-Time’, ahead of Katy Perry. ‘Most Streamed Song’ is “Wake Me Up” by Avicii, with more than 235 million streams. The service also claims it has ‘driven’ over $1 billion to rights holders since 2008. (Though many songwriters have claimed the royalties it pays are minimal.)

Wearing Google Glass can hurt, an eye doctor warns. Google’s consulting optometrist says the problem is caused by the position of the technology, which forces users to look up. Britain’s College of Optometrists has subsequently advised anyone who buys Google Glass to get their eyes tested before using it. An optometrist can advise you how its position will affect you and how long you should use it before taking a rest. For its part, the company says the technology is meant to be used only for ‘micro-interactions’, not for staring into the screen, watching movie marathons, or reading “War & Peace”. The comments follow a series of complaints from users about eye strain. (It looks goofy, it has no real usefulness … and now it hurts. Strike 3?)
– BBC Science & Technology

Something cool this way cometh. You’ll soon be able to print any Instagram photo of your choosing on a pair of Adidas ZX Flux sneakers. That means the selfie you took yesterday in perfect lighting, the mouth watering #foodporn, or a killer sunset from the cottage can all end up on a pair of sneakers as the cutting edge shoe company attempts to stay one step ahead of its competitors. The Adidas Photo print app will be released in August and will be the key to customizing sneakers. Adidas has been tight-lipped about details of the upcoming app, but have released a teaser video on their Instagram account. (What pic would you want on your shoes?)

• Animals avoid power lines because they can see frightening ultraviolet flashes that are invisible to humans.
– “Daily Telegraph”
• Lone peacocks fake the noise of sexual congress in order to attract peahens.
– BBC News
• Elephants can tell men from women and friends from foes by listening to their voices.
– “Discovery Magazine”
• A snake can eat a crocodile.
– Magazine Monitor


1950 [64] Bernie Taupin, Sleaford UK, lyricist (Elton John’s songwriting partner-“Candle In the Wind”, “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me”)

1959 [55] (Steven) Morrissey, Manchester UK, alt-rock singer (“All You Need Is Me”, ex-The Smiths-“This Charming Man”)

1970 [44] Naomi Campbell, London UK, fashion model/ex-con involved in numerous attacks on her personal staff

1978 [36] Ginnifer Goodwin, Memphis TN, TV actress (‘Mary Margaret Blanchard/Snow White’ on “Once Upon a Time” since 2011)

• “Buy-A-Musical-Instrument Day”. But respect your neighbors … don’t make it drums!

• “Canadian Immigrants Day”, celebrating the many contributions made by immigrants to Canada. Hey, if you go back far enough … we’re all immigrants.

• “Find Your Soul-Mate Day”, a day to join a singles group, explore an online dating service, or join a club where you might find someone with common interests.

• “International Day for Biological Diversity”, created by the UN to increase understanding and awareness of biodiversity issues.

• “Maritime Day”, an annual observance to recognize the maritime industry. Har, hoist that bilge, matey!

• “World Goth Day”, celebrating the goth scene and making its presence known to the rest of the world. The subculture of music and fashion is often associated with dark attire, makeup, and hair.

2004 [10] Michael Moore’s controversial documentary “Fahrenheit 9/11” wins the Palme d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival

2003 [11] Golfer Annika Sorenstam becomes the 1st woman to play in a PGA men’s tour event in 58 years (Fort Worth, Texas)

2012 [02] Japan’s Tokyo Skytree is opened to the public, the tallest tower in the world (634 m/2,080 ft) and the 2nd-tallest structure after the Burj Khalifa (829.8 m/2,722 ft)

[Fri] World Turtle Day
[Fri] Heat Awareness Day
[Sat] Brothers Day
[Sun] Indianapolis 500
[Sun] Geek Pride Day
[Mon] Memorial Day (USA)
[Mon] World Lindy Hop Day
This Week Is … Safe Boating Week
This Month Is … Physical Fitness & Sports Month


✓ Sometimes your owner will make the motion of throwing a tennis ball but will not have actually thrown anything. Still chase after the non-existent ball. There’s a pretty good chance you’ll find an old ball around the area anyway.
✓ Just bark a whole bunch for no reason. People will pet you and give you real bacon from that box that says Beggin’ Strips on it.
✓ Tired of your regular water bowl? The humans have an infinite water bowl that they call ‘the toilet’. Be warned though: Once you’ve tried it it’ll be hard to go back to water that’s ‘unflavored’.
✓ When it’s thundering outside, hide under a table or bed and bark a bunch. This is 100% guaranteed to scare the thunder away within 1 minute-to-8 hours.
✓ Bury your treats in the backyard. That way when you want to eat them later they’ll have that ‘dirt and grass tang’ that we all want in our food.
✓ When your owner is rubbing your belly and asking “Who’s a good dog?” do NOT puke on the rug or bite them for no reason. If you refrain from these natural impulses they’ll say, “You are!”
– Adapted from

In your local park, there’s a statue of a war hero on a horse with both front legs in the air. What does it symbolize?
a. The rider was the commander of an army.
b. The rider died in battle. [CORRECT. Alternatively, 1 front leg in the air means the rider later died of wounds received in battle.]
c. The rider lost control of his horse.
– “Weird Fact Of the Day”

☎ Are flamboyant marriage proposals made in public (billboard, skywriting, stadium jumbotron) cute and inventive or just plain embarrassing? And what if she wants to say ‘no’?

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.

Question: The average man does THIS 5 times a year.
Answer: Cuts himself shaving.

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears this is true.

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