Monday, May 23, 2016 – Edition: #5736

Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Scottish actor Ewan McGregor is set to join the cast of the FX TV series “Fargo”. He’ll pull double duty portraying brothers, ‘Emmit & Ray Stussy’, in the upcoming Season 3 of the anthology series. The older brother is a self-made real estate mogul, while the younger plods through life as a balding parole officer. Other casting details have yet to be announced. Production on the new season, which takes place in 2010, is due to begin later this year.
– Eonline.com
★ Sara Ramirez has quit “Grey’s Anatomy” after 10 years. Ramirez, who plays ‘Dr Callie Torres’ on the long-running ABC-TV medical drama, is leaving to take some “welcome time off”.
Insiders say that the exit is absolutely the actress’s decision and that there is no bad blood behind the scenes. In fact, Ramirez has tweeted that she is leaving “for now”, which suggests she may return at some point. She first appeared in Season 2 and was upped to a series regular in Season 3.
– Variety.com
★ And Coachella’s digital lost-and-found is massive! Approximately 99,000 people attended Coachella every day during the Indio CA music festival’s 6-day run last month. When you combine that many people with drugs, sun, and the power of music, you’re going to get more than a few lost pairs of sunglasses. So the festival organizer has just opened a massive digital lost-and-found for Coachella-goers on Crowdfind. The online collection contains more than 1,100 lost items, including 51 cellphones, 73 pairs of glasses, 601 IDs, car keys, backpacks, GoPro cameras, wallets and so much more.
– “Los Angeles Times”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) – The 3 remaining couples each perform 2 dances; BC Jean performs.
• Dylan Fest: A Celebration of Bob Dylan’s 75th Birthday (Nashville TN) – Part 1 of a 2-consecutive-night birthday celebration at Nashville’s historic Ryman Auditorium. Over 30 acts perform Dylan tributes, including Ann Wilson, Boz Scaggs, City & Colour, Dhani Harrison, Emmylou Harris, Jason Isbell, Kacey Musgraves, Kesha, The Whigs.
NET: http://thebestfest.com/dylan-fest-nashville/
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Blake Shelton (“If I’m Honest”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – P!nk (“The Truth About Love”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Coathangers (“Nosebleed Weekend”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Frightened Rabbit (“Painting Of a Panic Attack”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Primus drummer Tim Alexander.
• “The Price Is Right Primetime Special – Survivor Edition” (CBS) – Popular “Survivor” castaways play alongside fans of the show. Birthday boy Drew Carey hosts.
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Snoop Dogg (“Bush”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tom Odell (“Wrong Crowd”, out June 10th).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – TI (“The Dime Trap”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – 4 artists perform; 1 gets closer to being named “The Voice”.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – She’s won ‘Songwriter of the Year’ at the 61st “Ivor Novello Awards” in the UK. It’s the 2nd time she’s won the honor. Damon Albarn received a ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’ during the honors, which are determined by the UK songwriting and composing community.
• Chris Janson – The “Buy Me a Boat” singer kicked off his first headlining tour on Saturday at the Preakness Stakes in Baltimore MD. He’s also playing the CMA Music Festival, the LakeShake Music Festival in Chicago IL, and the Route 91 Harvest Festival in Las Vegas NV..
• Drake – His proposed 21,000-sq-ft Bridle Path mansion in his hometown of Toronto includes an NBA-size basketball court, 2 pools, an awards room, ‘artifact room’, and ‘jersey museum’. The land was purchased last September for $6.75 million. A smaller home now on the property will have to be torn down.
• Lady Gaga – Her childhood piano, which she used to write her first song at age 5, failed to meet its reserve price Saturday when Julien’s Auctions offered it as part of the “Music Icons” memorabilia sale at the Hard Rock Café in NYC. The upright piano had a pre-sale estimate of $100,000-to-$200,000.
• Florida Georgia Line – They’re staying atop tomorrow’s new ‘Billboard Hot Country Songs’ chart for a 2nd week with “HOLY”.
• Tupac Shakur – An anonymous fan just paid circa $337,000 for the late-rapper’s customized Hummer H1 at a sale by RR Auction. 2Pac bought the vehicle 3 months before he was killed in 1996 at age 25. In addition to custom features (12-disc CD changer, spotlight, external PA system), the Hummer comes with Tupac’s vanity license plate and a cassette of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”.

SHHH, YOU’LL WAKE THE PINES:
New research shows that trees might sleep like any other living organism. Scientists have used lasers to make models of silver birch trees in Finland and Australia and discovered that tree branches ‘droop’ up to 10 cm at night. They’re at their lowest point a few hours before sunrise. Studies on flowers and other small plants undergoing changes between night and day go back centuries, but until now it’s never been clear if trees also have a rest period. Researchers plan to next study the water usage of trees during the day and at night to get a better idea of what’s going on. (Well this gives the phrase “sleeping like a log” whole new meaning.)
– “Christian Science Monitor”

FANTASY CAMP:
It might sound like a crazy concept, but more and more online Summer camp options keep popping up, and they aren’t such a bad idea. A sampling of what’s out there …
• ‘Brain Chase’ – $79, extra for electives; age 6–16. A 6-week program starting June 20th that provides both virtual and real-world experiences. Kids learn math, reading, and typing while competing in a treasure hunt for the chance to win a $10,000 scholarship.
• ‘Camp Google’ – Free, but materials cost extra; age 7 and up. A new adventure each week, centered on topics like ‘Space’ or ‘The Ocean’. Kids complete indoor activities, such as making a magnifying glass, and then take their learning outdoors – for example, to examine insects.
• ‘Camp Wonderopolis’. Free for campers; optional $25 instruction guide for parents; age 7 and up. Each topic includes lessons, outdoor activities, videos, and additional reading suggestions for all ages.
• ‘Connected Camps’ – $49-$79; age 8 and up. This camp site offers instructor-led, “Minecraft”-based sessions in architecture, coding, game design, and more. There also are special girls-only camps and free hosted events for “Minecraft” enthusiasts.
• ‘DIY’ – Free and/or fee-based; age 7 and up. Offers dozens of skill-based challenges in a variety of categories, including Art, Business, and Engineering, that kids can do year-round. Some have online counselors who interact with your kid.
• ‘Make: Online’ – Free, but materials cost extra; age 12 and up. Weekly camps based on themes such as ‘Far Out Future’ and ‘Flight’. You get a PDF with daily activities that support the theme, such as making slime or designing and flying kites.
• ‘Start With a Book’ – Free; age 6 and up. In addition to a Summer science camp, this site offers a long list of themes, such as Art, Night Sky, and Weather Report, for kids to explore. For each theme, you get a Reading Adventure Pack, which includes book suggestions.
• ‘TechRocket’ – Free for course sampling; memberships: $19/year, $29/month; age 10 and up. Offers online instruction in coding, game design, and graphic design. Each camp offers a variety of levels and challenges as well as a dedicated instructor.
– Common Sense Media

HIGH ON SEEDS:
2015 was all about ‘K2′ – synthetic cannabis – but today’s youth have moved on to a new cheap high … seeds. The new craze is to chew on plant seeds with LSA in them, a natural hallucinogen which is chemically similar to LSD. Morning Glory seeds work best apparently, although if you can only get your hands on Hawaiian Baby Woodrose then they’ll also do the trick. Already there have been two hospitalization incidents in Boston MA, and 3 overdoses in suburban NYC. The police chief of Seekonk MA warns: “Parents should know if their children are into planting flowers or not, so if they see these things in the household, the radar should be on.” (Oasis was way ahead on this with “(What’s the Story) Morning Glory?” back in 1995.)
– PopBitch.com

FOR THE RECORD:
• A video of a woman wearing a ‘Chewbacca’ mask in her car and laughing hysterically has been watched over 50 million times online in a single day, breaking the Facebook Live viewing record. 37-year-old Candace Payne, a mother-of-2 from Texas, made the 4-minute recording after purchasing an electronic mask of the “Star Wars” character at a department store clearance sale. Her titters were set off by the mask’s grunting noise. The previous record for number of views in a day was 10 million for images of an exploding watermelon.
– “Daily Telegraph”
• Guinness World Records has confirmed there’s a new super-long pizza for the books, and it was meticulously crafted in the Italian city that claims itself to be ‘heart and soul’ of the tasty pie – Naples, Italy. 100 chefs mixed 4,400 lbs of flour, 3,525 lbs of tomatoes, 4,400 lbs of mozzarella, and more than 50 gallons of olive oil to create 6,082 feet (1.15 miles) of pizza. It took 11 hours to put together the pie, which beat the previous record of a 5,234-foot-long (0.99 miles) pizza made in Milan, Italy last June.
– NPR.org

BS AMAZING US STATE FACTS:
• Hawaii consumes more SPAM canned meat than any other state in the US.
– “Financial Times”
• The US state with the highest percentage of people who walk to work is Alaska.
– List25.com
• People in Oregon are the fastest talkers in the US while those in Mississippi are the slowest.
– “The Atlantic”

BS CHRONOMETER 05.23.16

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1958 [58] Drew Carey, Cleveland OH, comedian/TV host (“The Price is Right” since 2007)/TV producer (“Whose Line Is It Anyway?” 1998-2006)/TV actor (“Drew Carey Show” 1995-2004)

1958 [58] Lea DeLaria, Belleville IL, TV actress (‘Big Boo’ on “Orange Is the New Black” since 2013)

1965 [51] Melissa McBride, Lexington KY, TV actress (‘Carol Peletier’ on “The Walking Dead” since 2010)

1967 [49] Phil Selway, Abingdon UK, alt-rock drummer (Radiohead-”Burn the Witch”, “There There”)

1970 [46] Matt Flynn, LA CA, pop drummer (Maroon 5-”Moves Like Jagger”, “She Will Be Loved”)

1973 [43] Maxwell (Gerald Maxwell Rivera), Brooklyn NY, neo-soul singer-songwriter-producer (“Pretty Wings”, “Fortunate”)

1974 [42] Jewel (Kilcher), Payson UT, country/folk/pop singer (“Intuition”, “Standing Still”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Taffy Day”, celebrating the ooey-gooey soft candy that sticks to your dental fillings. Salt water taffy was originally produced in Atlantic City NJ back in 1883.

• “Victoria Day”, observed annually on the Monday preceding May 25th, and commemorating the birth date of Britain’s Queen Victoria on May 24, 1819. It’s a holiday that’s only celebrated in Canada, originating in 1845.

• “World Crohn’s & Colitis Day”, created in 2007 as a way to bring people affected by either disease together, as well as friends and family members of those individuals, and even those who know nothing about either disease in order to increase awareness of them.

• “World Turtle Day”, initiated in 2000 by American Tortoise Rescue, a turtle & tortoise conservation organization founded in 1990 in Malibu CA. The observance highlights ways each of us can help protect these gentle but jeopardized animals. A few dos & don’ts listed here …
NET: http://www.tortoise.com

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005 [11] Tom Cruise infamously leaps on the couch and pumps his fist in the air to express his love for Katie Holmes during an appearance on “Oprah”

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2007 [09] The US Library of Congress hands out its first ‘Gershwin Award’ to singer-songwriter Paul Simon

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2012 [03] Adam Lambert becomes the 1st openly gay artist to debut at #1 on the ‘Billboard 200′ chart, with his album “Trespassing”

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1982 [34] Colin Wilson rides a surfboard a record 294 miles (473 km)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Brothers Day
[Tues] International Tiara Day
[Wed] Missing Children’s Day
[Wed] Tap Dance Day
[Wed] Geek Pride Day
[Wed] World MS Day
[Thurs] Eat More Fruits & Vegetables Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Backyard Games Week / Healthy & Safe Swimming Week / Hurricane Preparedness Week / Safe Boating Week / Tire Safety Week

BULL’S BITS

BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 23 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
REAL BUT REALLY WEIRD FORTUNE COOKIE FORTUNES:
• “Stop procrastinating … starting tomorrow.”
• “Help! I am being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery.”
• “Don’t kiss an elephant on the lips today.”
• “You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly.”
• “Your present plants are going to succeed.”
• “It is going to burn when you pee.”
• “About time I got out of that cookie!”
– First published in “BS” 2008.

INVENTIONS THAT WILL NEVER NEED UPDATING:
(Can you add to this list?)
✓ Barbed Wire
✓ Bubble Wrap
✓ Flyswatter
✓ Lego
✓ Mouse Trap
✓ Paper Clip
✓ Rocking Chair
✓ Teapot
– First published in “BS” 2014.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I only believe 12.5% of what the Bible says. Which makes me an eighth theist.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Today THESE cost just a few bucks, but the first one in 1981 cost $20,000.
Anser: Computer mouse.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A wise farmer never milks a bull.

BS FRESH MEAT:
Al Tipps @ WCDT Winchester TN; Matteo Vanetti @ Radio Fiume Ticino, Locarno, Switzerland; Steve Rouse @ Q1370 [WQLL] Baltimore MD; Brian Ebbesen @ Radio Skala, Kolding, Denmark; and Cary Luckett @ Loud & Proud Country 105.5 [WJVO] Jacksonville IL.


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