Monday, May 26, 2014       Edition: #5226

More From the Sheethouse!

★ Kim Kardashian & Kanye West exchanged wedding vows on Saturday in front of a wall of flowers in the 16th-century castle Forte di Belvedere overlooking Florence, Italy. The rental fee: 300,000 euros ($408,900). According to the local “La Nazione” newspaper, suppliers have been threatened with a $5-million penalty if they reveal any details about the event.
★ Even so, ‘Kimye’ have a leak. And it’s said to be Kourtney Kardashian’s baby-papa, Scott Disick. Among his purported leaks: E! channel paid to rent France’s Versailles Palace even though the wedding couldn’t be held there; the big Euro-do was all Kanye’s idea, as Kim just wanted a ‘normal’ ceremony in LA; Kim went on a 600-calorie starvation diet to fit into her wedding dress; and – the really big news – Kim is jealous of Khloe’s butt.
★ Lifetime network is making a Whitney Houston bio-movie and has tapped Oscar-nominated actress Angela Bassett to make her directorial debut with the made-for-TV film, currently titled simply “Whitney Houston”. Slated for a 2015 premiere, the movie will chronicle the relationship between the late singer and Bobby Brown, from the time they first met to their courtship and tumultuous marriage. Houston died February 12, 2012 at age 48.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ Move over, Ryan Seacrest! Sources tell ‘Page Six’ that actor Will Smith and his production company are developing a New Year’s Eve TV special similar to Dick Clark Productions’ “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest”. Sources say it would be based in Miami FL and include participation from Smith’s pal David Beckham. An insider says the premise is now being shopped to TV networks.
★ And “Modern Family” actress Sofia Vergara has called off her engagement to Nick Loeb, revealing they’ve been having too many problems trying to find time for one another. The couple became engaged in 2012 but never set a date for a wedding. The 41-year-old actress was hoping to start a family with businessman Loeb, revealing to “Vogue” they had turned to a fertility doctor for advice. But late on Friday she made the announcement of their split official on her Who Say account, saying she did so in order to prevent speculation and rumors.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Royal Blood (“Out Of the Black”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Albert Hammond Jr (The Strokes). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Wild Child (“The Runaround”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV2) – Paramore (“Paramore”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – The Ghost Of a Saber Tooth Tiger (“Midnight Sun”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Lily Allen (“Sheezus”).
• “Today” (NBC) – The Toyota Concert Series continues this morning with a live performance by Austin Mahone (“The Secret”, out tomorrow).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Keith Urban (“Fuse”). Rerun.

• Aerosmith – Have they made their last album? Their contract with Sony Music has now been fulfilled, making them ‘free agents’. Guitarist Joe Perry tells “Rolling Stone” they’re trying to figure out what that means; perhaps making new albums doesn’t make sense anymore.
• Ashlee Simpson – She’s set to wed actor Evan Ross (“The Hunger Games: Mockingjay”), the son of Diana Ross, at the Motown legend’s mansion on Labor Day weekend. He apparently popped the question in January after the couple had been dating for 6 months.
• The Black Keys – They’ve earned their first #1 album on the sales chart with the release of “Turn Blue”, according to Nielsen SoundScan. That follows the #2 debut of their last album, 2011’s “El Camino”.
• Ellie Goulding – She likes to check into hotels under the name ‘Snowy Clarke’.
• Rascal Flatts – They’ve debuted atop this week’s ‘Billboard Country Albums’ chart with “Rewind”.
• Rihanna – Think the days of Charlie Sheen’s wild Twitter rants and bizarre feuds are over? Think again! He’s gone on the attack tiger-blood style vs RiRi after she refused to meet Charlie’s fiancée, Scottine (aka Brett Rossi), at her birthday celebration last week.
• Rolling Stones – Tonight in Oslo, Norway they resume their world tour that was put on hold March 17th after the sudden death of Mick Jagger’s longtime partner, L’Wren Scott. 13 more shows across Europe will follow. The Stones last played together in Singapore on March 15th.

5. English – Everything just sounds classier when Brits talk. “Downton Abbey” is practically porn for your ears.
4. Scottish – The way they say ‘burr’ is almost as sure to give you shivers as wearing a kilt … in the ‘traditional way’.
3. Swiss – The only thing silkier than Swiss chocolate is their accent; and unlike their cheese, it doesn’t have any holes. It’s perfect.
2. Irish – It’s impossible to NOT get lucky with an Irish accent. Would you rather listen to an Irish accent all day or have a pint of Guinness? Why not both?
1. French – Are you surprised, considering the French practically invented romance? French accents are like a warm baguette for your ears … and we want those carbs!
(This just in … there’s been an official protest lodged by the Italians. Stay tuned!)
– Adapted from

Samsung plans to introduce a smartwatch that’s capable of making phone calls and receiving data, allowing it to be used without maintaining a connection to a smartphone and thereby removing a limitation that’s troubled recent watches. The new smartwatch, which is reportedly being primed for a June or July unveiling, will include a camera, GPS, heart-rate monitor, and will at least be capable of sending email. The device would essentially put the key capabilities of a smartphone into a watch, requiring a SIM card and likely a data and voice plan as well. One of the biggest complaints with Samsung’s existing smartwatches has been their overbearing reliance on the smartphone that they’re tethered to. (Is tech-wear ever going to catch on? We say no. Skip directly to the brain-chip implant.)
– “Wall Street Journal”

Paraguay is now the happiest country in the world, with 87% of residents scoring high on an index of positive emotions, according to the latest Gallup poll on well-being. The rest of the top 5 leads us to believe Latin Americans must be onto something …
2. Panama (86%)
3. Guatemala (83%)
4. Nicaragua (83%)
5. Ecuador (83%)
Not surprisingly, Syria, suffering through a civil war, is the unhappiest at #138; people there are so badly off they’ve hit a new low (36%), the survey finds. The rest of the bottom 5 …
134. Serbia (54%)
135. Bosnia (54%)
136. Lithuania (53%)
137. Chad (52%)
Overall, 70% of adults worldwide say they are frequently laughing, smiling, or enjoying themselves. (What do you think the overall key to happiness is?)

• The 5th-most-common question people in Mexico search the Internet for relating to pregnant women is: “Can pregnant women wear heels?”
– BBC News
• India’s outgoing prime minister had 1.24 million Twitter followers before he reset the government account, thereby making the new PM start all over.
– “Quartz”
• Single women now own more homes than single men.


1948 [66] Stevie (Stephanie) Nicks, Phoenix AZ, oldies singer (“Talk to Me”, Fleetwood Mac-“Dreams”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1998)

1949 [65] Hank Williams Jr, Shreveport LA, country singer (“That’s How They Do It In Dixie”, “All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight”)

1964 [50] Lenny Kravitz, NYC, rock singer-guitarist (“Fly Away”, “Are You Gonna Go My Way”)

1966 [48] Helena Bonham Carter, London UK, movie actress (“The King’s Speech”, “Alice in Wonderland”)/filmmaker Tim Burton’s partner since 2001

1971 [43] Matt Stone, Houston TX, TV writer & producer (“South Park” co-creator with Trey Parker)/movie producer (“Team America: World Police”)

1979 [35] Elisabeth Harnois, Detroit MI, TV actress (‘Morgan Brody’ on “CSI” since 2011)

1981 [33] Isaac Slade, Denver CO, rock singer-pianist (The Fray-“You Found Me”, “How to Save a Life”)

• “Blueberry Cheesecake Day”. Well okay … if we have to!

• “Bob Day”, honoring anyone with the name. Why is it they always seem to turn out to be the ultimate OK guys? Which Bobs are your favorites?

• “Go Barefoot Around the House Day”. Why? Because it feels great! The members of the ‘Society For Barefoot Living’ believe you should go barefoot all the time.

• “Memorial Day”, a national holiday observed on the last Monday in May in America, as a day of remembrance for those who’ve died in the nation’s service. It was originally called “Decoration Day” 146 years ago (1868) when General John Logan declared a day to decorate Civil War soldiers’ graves with flowers at Gettysburg PA. Nowadays its more often observed as ‘Beach Day’, ‘Picnic Day’, or ‘Hamburger Day’, honoring America’s favorite sandwich.

• “National Sorry Day” (aka “National Day of Healing”), an annual event in Australia since 1997 to remember and commemorate the mistreatment of the continent’s indigenous population.

• “Paper Airplane Day”, an unofficial observance honoring the simple aeronautical toy anyone can make. You’re encouraged to stage contests for ‘greatest distance’ and ‘longest time aloft’.

• “World Lindy Hop Day”, celebrating the dance (aka ‘swing dancing’ or ‘jitterbug’) that originated in Harlem NYC in the 1920s but is still popular today. In fact, there are Lindy Hop dance schools and clubs worldwide.

2004 [10] Fantasia Barrino is named “American Idol” Season 3 winner

1994 [20] Michael Jackson secretly weds Elvis Presley’s daughter Lisa Marie in the Dominican Republic (she files for divorce in January 1996)

1984 [30] A frisbee is reportedly kept aloft for 16.72 seconds, in Philadelphia PA (how is this possible?)

[Tues] Cellophane Tape Day
[Wed] Senior Health & Fitness Day
[Wed] Sierra Club Day
[Wed] World MS Day
[Thurs] Learn About Composting Day
[Thurs] International Day of UN Peacekeepers

Hurricane Preparedness Week / Stationery Week / Week of Solidarity With the People of Non-Self-Governing Territories


Highlight bits culled from 21 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• I like my coffee like I like my women … hot. Of course, the difference is I can actually get hot coffee.
• I like my coffee like I like my one-night stands … stale, bitter, smoking like a chimney, with a butt-ugly mug.
• I like my Irish coffee like I like my women … loaded with whiskey.
• I like my coffee like a Major League Baseball catcher likes his privates … in a large, strong cup.
• I like my coffee like divorce attorneys like their clients … very rich, very bitter, and with lots of grounds.
– First published in “BS” 2011.

• “Your colon will self-destruct in 5 seconds.”
• “You will soon discover we left the zeroes off the menu.”
• “Your date has been on more laps than a napkin.”
• “You no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise … unless you want to stay employed.”
• “You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes.”
• “Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to your empty life.”
• “Your cat Sparky? He’s no longer missing.”
– First published in “BS” 1999.

☎ What would you talk about if someone asked you to give the commencement address at a graduation ceremony? A few things on our list …
✓ Respect yourself. Be proud of yourself. Challenge yourself. Forgive yourself. Love yourself.
✓ Travel. Get outside of your little corner of the world to find fresh ideas and outlooks.
✓ Read. Anything. Everything. Part 2 of getting out of your cubicle and exposing your mind to new ideas.
✓ Find something you love to do, then find a way to make money doing it.
✓ Save money. Start young and you’ll worry much less about it throughout your life.
✓ Hang out with people who allow you to be uniquely ‘you’.
✓ Don’t wait for things. Ask.
✓ Don’t be fooled. Success is a combination of hard work … and luck.
✓ Always keep learning and you’ll always have an interesting life.

Jimmy Fallon is exceeding expectations as host of the “Tonight Show”. Although NBC-TV anticipated it would lose some of Jay Leno’s older fans, that doesn’t seem to be the case. Most importantly, Fallon has been bringing in new viewers in the key 18-to-40 demographic. What’s the key to his success? One NBC analyst suggests that viewers like the ‘feel-good spirit’ and the ‘total absence of snarkiness, of cynicism’ on Fallon’s show. There’s a lesson in here for radio broadcasters, no?

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.

Question: You reach your peak in THIS ability in your mid-30s.
Answer: Spelling.

Nobody cares what happens to you. They care how you react to it.

Daniel Olivares @ 3WBC Melbourne, Australia; Robert Ferris @ The Rush 96.1 FM [CKRW] Whitehorse YT; Tony Hiller @ 87.7 Kennet Radio, Newbury & Thatcham UK; Simon Frater @ Kiss FM Albufeira, Portugal; DJ Miguel @ LA 101.9 [KSCA] Los Angeles CA; Rus Jeffrey @ UCB Canada FM 90.7 [CHJJ] Cobourg ON; Andreas @ 106.5 Radio Go!, Aarhus, Denmark; and Jered Petrey @ WEEM [South Madison Community School Corporation] Pendleton IN.

Printer Friendly Version