Tuesday, May 28, 2013        Edition: #4994

You’re Up to Your Eyeballs in Sheet!

✳ Newly-retired soccer star David Beckham has splashed out close to $100,000 on 2 Audi Q3s to thank his mother Jackie and his mother-in-law Sandra for their constant support and years of babysitting with zero notice during his high-profile sports career. An insider says there will likely be more gifts as Beckham has many people he wants to thank and money is ‘obviously no object’. (So why not Ferraris, cheapo?)
– “The Sun”
✳ Publicist Jonathan Jaxson calls the weekend arrest of Amanda Bynes ‘a successful intervention’. He claims he persuaded police to go to her apartment by offering ‘proof’ she was suicidal. Later in court, she reportedly told the judge that the bong-like object she threw out her 36th-floor window was ‘just a vase’. Meanwhile, her parents are reportedly seeking conservatorship. (Or at least anonymity.)
– “Scandal Sheet”
✳ During a recent interview with FOX-TV affiliate Q13 Seattle to promote his new movie “Now You See Me” (opening Friday), actor Morgan Freeman appeared to be napping on-camera. Since the video went viral, the 75-year-old has provided an explanation for his shut-eye. Quote: “I wasn’t actually sleeping; I’m a beta tester for ‘Google Eyelids’. I was merely updating my Facebook page.” (Hey he’s a senior … he’s entitled to nap!)
– People.com
✳ “Glee” star Lea Michele is writing a book (groan!) and it’s titled “Brunette Ambition” (double groan!). It’s described as being ‘part memoir, part how-to, and part style guide’. Quote: “There wasn’t a guidebook when I was growing up that detailed everything I would need to do, and know, to get where I am today. But I believe I can write one of sorts …” It hits bookstores next Spring. (Don’t fail to miss it!)
– LaineyGossip.com
✳ And 23-year-old former “Harry Potter” actor Daniel Radcliffe is set to get his first tattoo. He’s chosen to ink on a line from famed Irish playwright Samuel Beckett: “Try again, fail again, fail better.” Even he admits using the highbrow quote for a tat seems a tad pretentious. (Dude, go with the lightening bolt on the forehead. Seemed to work before.)
– “The Independent”

• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – The Wanted (“Chasing the Sun”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Ludacris (“Fast & Furious 6”).
• “Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss” (ABC) – On the 3rd season opener, (2-ton) twins David & Rebecca are split up as they tackle a 90-day weight-loss challenge.
• “In Performance At the White House” (PBS) – Singer-songwriter Carole King receives the Library of Congress ‘Gershwin Prize for Popular Song’.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Jewel (“Greatest Hits”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Heavy (“The Glorious Dead”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – The Breeders (“Fate to Fatal”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Aussie indie rockers Atlas Genius (“When It Was Now”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Trisha Yearwood (“Trisha’s Southern Kitchen”).
• “Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony” (HBO) – The 2013 inductees are honored in Los Angeles. Rerun.
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV2) – More hopefuls perform for the judges.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Emeli Sandé (“Our Version of Events”). Rerun.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Guest co-host Pitbull (“Global Warming”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Sheryl Crow performs her latest single, “Easy”; contestants face elimination.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Ciara (“Ciara”, out July 9th).
• Yahoo! On the Road – Tonight the streaming-live tour hits Boise, Idaho for performances by The Lumineers and Dispatch.
NET: http://ontheroad.yahoo.com

• “Body of Proof” (ABC/CityTV).

• Aaron Lewis – Tonight he makes his debut at the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville TN, a gig he calls ‘an incredible honor’ and ‘a dream come true’.
• Chris Brown – LAPD is investigating an alleged hit-and-run in which he rear-ended another driver, then gave the woman incorrect insurance info and refused to divulge his driver’s license number. Not a big deal except … if ruled a probation violation, it could land him in jail.
• The-Dream – Today he releases his long-awaited new album, “IV Play”. The project was first announced in 2011, then went through numerous title and release date changes.
• Paul McCartney – Today the 1976 live album from his band Wings, “Wings Over America”, is being re-issued as a deluxe box set.
• Rolling Stones – Today remastered reissues of classic albums “Beggars Banquet”, “Hot Rocks 1964-71”, and “Let It Bleed” are out on clear vinyl. These 3 initial releases are just part of a planned series called “The Rolling Stones Clearly Classic”.
• Spice Girls – Geri Halliwell has moved Down Under to take a judging job on “Australia’s Got Talent” (Seven Network). While sightseeing in Sydney on Sunday she was left red-faced during a zoo visit after a koala … peed in her purse.

• “Dark Skies” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): From the producer of “Paranormal Activity”, “Insidious”, and “Sinister”, a supernatural thriller that follows a young suburban family targeted by a terrifying and deadly force. Stars Keri Russell, Josh Hamilton, Dakota Goyo.
• “Garbage: One Mile High … Live” ( Music Documentary ): Rock band Garbage in concert on their first world tour in 7 years, supporting the new album “Not Your Kind Of People”. Filmed in October 2012 at the Ogden Theatre in Denver, Colorado.
• Also released today: “A Good Day to Die” (Documentary); “Covert Affairs: Season 3” (TV); “Doctor Who: Series 7” (TV); “Longmire: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); “NOVA: Mind Of a Rampage Killer” (Documentary); “Red Widow: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); “Suits: Season 2” (TV); and “The Ultimate Guide to Presidents” (Documentary).

Did you pack an apple instead of a cupcake in your lunch today? Perhaps you should have gone with the cupcake. Research shows that exerting self-control, like sticking to your diet, can lead to increased aggression. Study results show that denying yourself something you really want can have an impact that ranges from making you want to see anger-themed movies to more easily becoming irritated with other people. (So chow down, chubby!)
– “Journal of Consumer Research”

• Eugene, Oregon – Sunset Hills Cemetery & Funeral Home is offering ‘natural burials’ in which the deceased are transported to their final resting place … on the back of a 3-wheeled bicycle. Funeral director Wade Lind says he got the idea from bikers and designed the pedal-powered hearse himself. It has an electric motor to give him a little help hauling heavyweights. (“He was a tree-hugger to the end … even his last ride was green.”)
– AP
• Varnamo, Sweden – A local family was awed and amazed when they saw circus elephants … in their living room. It seems 2 Indian elephants who had escaped from a circus playing in town got ticked off for some unknown reason and charged into the side of the Enoksson family home. The pachyderms eventually lumbered off and were caught. (The moral of the story: Never paint a picture of a big-game hunter on the side of your house.)
– NYPost.com
• Trois-Rivieres, Québec – A woman delivering newspapers has been run over by her own car … 3 times. Seems she confused ‘park’ and ‘reverse’ on her gear shift prior to exiting the car. As the driver-less vehicle circled in reverse, the open door struck her and she fell to the ground, where the car passed over her leg. As she subsequently tried to grab the steering wheel, the scene repeated itself twice more. She finally gave up and limped to a nearby house for help. (She stole this bit from an old “Benny Hill Show”, no?)
– “Le Nouvelliste”

A few tips on successfully dining al fresco …
✓ Picnic baskets look nice, but coolers are the best places to pack your food. Coolers can keep your food cold and fresh longer, particularly the meat.
✓ If you are having an all-day affair, such as a family reunion, eat early instead of letting your food sit in coolers for several hours. Pack the food in the order you will be using it.
✓ With a few strips of duct tape, you can secure items such as your tablecloth if the wind kicks up during your picnic.
✓ If you are worried about uninvited guests such as ants, flies, or bees, do not wear brightly colored clothing. Insects, especially bees, are attracted to it.
(Who is this Al Fresco and why is he always eating outdoors?)
– “Globe & Mail”

The aftermath of the massive tornado in Oklahoma is upsetting to everyone, but especially to kids who hear about it from peers and see it on TV. Violent storms can trigger severe anxiety in children. A Mayo Clinic psychologist says it’s important that parents do not tell anxious children they are being silly or otherwise dismiss their fears. His advice: Be calm and supportive; explain that storms are a normal part of nature. (What methods have you used to explain crises in the news to your young children?)
– KARE11.com

• On 1 square mile of rural land, there are more insects than there are human beings on the entire Earth. (Especially if your cottage is on it.)
– “Fun Facts”
• Videogames can fix lazy eyes. (But not lazy people.)
– BBC.co.uk


1945 [68] John Fogerty, Berkeley CA, oldies singer (“Centerfield”, w/CCR-“Proud Mary”)  BS FACTOID: His new album “Wrote a Song for Everyone” is out today, a collection of classic hits and new songs performed alongside artists like Bob Seger, Foo Fighters, Jennifer Hudson, Kid Rock, Keith Urban, My Morning Jacket, and Zac Brown Band.

1964 [49] Phil Vassar, Lynchburg VA, country singer-songwriter (“Love Is a Beautiful Thing”, “Last Day Of My Life”)

1968 [45] Kylie Minogue, Melbourne, Australia, pop singer (“Can’t Get You Out of My Head”)/actress (“Moulin Rouge”)

1977 [36] Elisabeth Hasselbeck (Filarski), Cranston RI, TV co-host (“The View” 2003-13)/former reality TV show contestant (“Survivor: The Australian Outback” 2001)

1985 [28] Colbie Caillat, Newbury Park CA, pop singer (“Brighter Than the Sun”, “Bubbly”)

1985 [28] Carey Mulligan, London UK, movie actress (“The Great Gatsby”, “Drive”)

• “Amnesty International Day”, recognizing the need to protect human rights around-the-world. The organization strives to accomplish this by publicizing problems and encouraging citizens, governments, and politicians to take action.
NET: http://amnesty.org

• “Sierra Club Day”, celebrating the 1892 founding of the oldest, largest, and most influential grassroots environmental organization. Chapters throughout the US & Canada offer opportunities for local involvement, activism, and outdoor outings for 1.3 million members.
NET: http://www.sierraclub.org

• “Whooping Crane Day”, a salute to the rare waterbird that’s almost become extinct. Today there are only about 400 left in the wild.
NET: http://www.savingcranes.org

1998 [15] Comic actor Phil Hartman of “Saturday Night Live” and “NewsRadio” fame is shot to death at his home in Encino, California by his wife, Brynn, who then kills herself

2010 [03] Gary Coleman, former child star of 1970s TV sitcom “Diff’rent Strokes”, dies at age 42 in Provo, Utah 2 days after suffering a brain hemorrhage

1983 [30] Irene Cara has a #1 pop hit with the theme from the movie “Flashdance”

2003 [10] Paul McCartney and 2nd wife, Heather Mills, announce the upcoming birth of their 1st child, to be named Beatrice Milly

1897 [116] ‘Jell-O’ is 1st introduced (5 actual Jell-O flavors that flopped: Celery, Coffee, Cola, Apple, Chocolate)

1937 [76] German government forms new state-owned auto company ‘Gesellschaft zur Vorbereitung des Deutschen Volkswagens mbH’ which produces the ‘Volkswagen’ (‘The People’s Car’)

1987 [26] Paul Pearman jumps over 21 barrels … on a skateboard (Augusta, Georgia)

[Wed] Pink Flamingo Day
[Wed] International Day of UN Peacekeepers
[Wed] Seniors Health & Fitness Day
[Fri] World No-Tobacco Day
[Fri] “After Earth”; “The East”; “The Kings of Summer”; “Now You See Me” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Hurricane Preparedness Week
This Month Is … Mediterranean Diet Month


• Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
• Swat at flies that don’t exist.
• Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
• Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
• Make explosion noises whenever anyone presses a button.
• Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to other passengers, “This is MY personal space!”
• Look around at everyone and ask with concern, “Wow, did you feel that?”
– ListsOPlenty.com

It takes money to make money because you have to copy the design exactly.

Which was banned in Australia and New Zealand until 2005?
a. Casino gambling.
b. Roquefort cheese. [CORRECT. Due to safety concerns over use of unpasteurized ewe’s milk.]
c. Opposite sex marriage.
– “The Guardian”

☎ Which are the most annoying clichés of sports announcers?

Question: The first of THESE handy items was installed in 1889. Good luck trying to find one now!
Answer: Pay phone.

Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

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