Thursday, May 28, 2015        Edition: #5461

Another Sheetload of Bull!

★ “American Idol” may be ending its run in 2016, but Ryan Seacrest is set to retain his unofficial title as the hardest-working man in television. His new reality series, “Knock Knock Live”, premieres July 21st. And the premise is sort of like “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”: Someone knocks on a door and the unsuspecting person answering it gets the chance to win cash, meet famous people, or live their dream. Seacrest serves as an executive producer of the FOX-TV show. He’s the host, but won’t actually be knocking on any doors.
★ Jon Stewart and “The Daily Show”, the Comedy Central powerhouse he’s soon to depart, have initiated a 5-week boot camp for military veterans who want to work … in show biz. The project has been quietly developed over 3 years and is already paying off in jobs for vets. A longtime lampooner of America’s wars, Stewart is at the same time a big supporter of veterans, making hospital visits and doing tours of bases. As to providing vets with free training in other fields, Stewart says: “Please steal our idea.”
– “New York Times”
★ 66-year-old actress Jessica Lange is starring on Broadway for the first time in over a decade in “Long Day’s Journey Into Night”, appearing with Gabriel Byrne and John Gallagher Jr in a 2016 revival of the Eugene O’Neill play. Lange plays ‘Mary Tyrone’, a woman in the grip of morphine addiction, returning to the role she played in London’s West End in 2000. It’s one of the great female roles in American drama, as were the parts she tackled in her prior Broadway appearances, “The Glass Menagerie” (2005) and “A Streetcar Named Desire” (1992).
★ And British actress Keira Knightley (“The Imitation Game”) has become a first-time mom. Multiple sources tell that the 30-year-old and her rocker husband James Righton (The Klaxons) recently welcomed their 1st child together, although details have yet to be announced. Fans on Twitter have also reported sightings of the new parents out and about with their new bundle of joy near their north London home. Representatives for the couple who wed in 2013 have yet to comment on the news.
– E! News

• “Aquarius” (NBC) – Debut of a new drama set in 1960s Los Angeles. David Duchovny stars as homicide detective ‘Sam Hodiak’, whose police work leads to a confrontation with infamous mass-murder Charles Manson. This 13-episode ‘limited series’ is NBC-TV’s marquee production for the Summer.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – In the Valley Below (“The Belt”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Mariah Carey (“#1 to Infinity”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Above & Beyond (“We Are All We Need”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/Omni 1) – Manic Street Preachers (“Futurology”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Ex-Civil Wars singer Joy Williams (“Venus”). Rerun.
• “Lip Sync Battle” (Spike) – Queen Latifah takes on Marlon Wayans in the 1st season Summer finalé.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Joan Jett & The Blackhearts (“Glorious Results Of a Misspent Youth”).
• “Louis CK: Live From the Comedy Store” (FX) – This hour-long special, filmed at the famous Comedy Store nightclub in LA, airs directly after the 5th-season finalé of his “Louie” sitcom.
• MusiCares MAP Fund Benefit Concert (NYC) – The Who’s Pete Townshend is this year’s honoree as Bruce Springsteen presents the ‘Stevie Ray Vaughan Award’ for his support of the organization’s addiction recovery programs. As well as The Who, performers include Billy Idol, Joan Jett, and Foreigner’s Mick Jones.
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Raekwon (“Fly International Luxurious Art”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Tim McGraw (“Sundown Heaven Town”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Madonna (“Rebel Heart”). Rerun.

• Alabama Shakes – Tonight in St Louis MO they embark on the next leg of their North American tour. They’ll also be performing at many Summer festivals, including Austin City Limits, Bonnaroo, Glastonbury, Lollapalooza, Montreux Jazz, Squamish, and T In the Park.
• A$AP Rocky – This week’s surprise release of his new album “At Long Last A$AP” ahead of its scheduled debut June 2nd was brought on by an online leak. It’s already #1 at iTunes in Australia, Canada, France, Germany, New Zealand, the UK, the USA and elsewhere.
• Awolnation – With “Run” notching their highest debut album chart position ever, the band kicked off a North American tour last night in Seattle WA, plays Vancouver BC tonight, and hits major markets through August 1st in LA CA.
• Soundgarden – Chris Cornell is set to release a new solo album titled “Higher Truth” in September. It will mark his 1st solo album since 2009’s “Scream”. He’s set for an Australian tour in November and December.
• Taylor Swift – Colter Pierce, a teacher at Skyview High School in Billings, Montana, has promised his class that if he gets a phone call from her, he’ll cancel final exams. It began as a joke but the promise is now in writing and being retweeted around-the-world. Think she’ll call?

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Billy Elliot the Musical” – Elton John wants to make a movie of the 2005 stage musical which he scored. The 68-year-old says there are songs that had to be left out of the live version that would be great in a film. The story follows an 11-year-old boy as he escapes the working class expectations of his family to become a ballet dancer.
• “The Circle” – Emma Watson is reportedly in talks to replace actress Alicia Vikander in the new Tom Hanks movie as the rising Swedish star has moved on to other projects. Watson would be playing a young technology employee who becomes involved with a mysterious man, played by Hanks. The screenplay is adapted from the Dave Eggers novel of the same name.
• “It” – A planned remake of this 1986 Stephen King horror novel has been indefinitely pushed back. Production had been scheduled to start in 3 weeks, but the script is yet to be finished and director Cary Fukunaga (“True Detective”) has just left the project. King’s story about ‘The Losers Club’ was previously the basis for a 1990 TV mini-series.
• “The Legend of Conan” – Arnold Schwarzenegger says he’s been trying to make another ‘Conan the Barbarian’ movie for 20 years. Finally, the 67-year-old actor – who starred in the 1982 original – is set to reprise the iconic role in this new film which is still in development. No storyline, cast, nor release date has so far been announced.
• “The Magnificent Seven” – Due for release in January 2017, this is described as a ‘re-imagining’ of the 1960 classic Western that starred Yul Brynner. Denzel Washington is set to play the bounty hunter who hand-picks 6 gunmen to drive the bad guys out of town. Peter Sarsgaard is in negotiations to play the chief villain. Also in the cast: Chris Pratt, Ethan Hawke.

A few of the hottest and coldest spots on Earth …
• Iran’s Dasht-e Lut has the highest surface temperature ever recorded at 70.7 C / 159.3 F.
• New Zealand’s Frying Pan Lake is the hottest lake in the world with its acidic water reaching 50-to-60 C / 122-to-140 F.
• China’s Flaming Mountains reach 66.8 C / 152.2 F, highest surface temperature of a mountain range.
• Bangkok, Thailand is the world’s hottest city with an average temperature of 28 C / 82.4 F.
• Antarctica’s Vostok Station has the coldest air temperature on record at -89.2 C / -128.6 F.
• The air temperature in Barrow, Alaska is below freezing for 90% of the year.
• The world’s coldest inhabited place is Eureka in Canada’s Nunavut territory at -32 C / -25.6 F.
– Sourced from @MailOnline

Renowned Canadian author Margaret Atwood has donated a piece of writing to an innovative literacy time capsule project. The “Handmaid’s Tale” author has become the 1st novelist to hand over a manuscript to the ‘Future Library’, an archive of writing which will be kept under wraps until a publication date in 2114. Atwood is the first of 100 authors who will contribute to the project. 100 trees have been planted outside the archive’s base in Oslo, Norway to provide the paper on which the works will eventually be printed. Select authors will donate texts once a year until that time. (Think the idea of publishing books on paper will still be around a hundred years from now? Think we will be?)

Some new numbers from the UN’s International Telecommunication Union …
✓ The Internet will be used by 3.2 billion people in 2015, nearly half of the global population.
✓ About 2 billion of those are in the developing world, but only 89 million in the least-developed countries such as Somalia and Nepal.
✓ By the end of the year 80% of households in developed countries and 34% of those in developing countries will have Internet access in some form.
✓ There will also be more than 7 billion mobile device subscriptions, the ITU predicts.
✓ 69% of the world has 3G coverage, but only 29% of rural areas are served.
✓ Africa lags behind with just 17.4% mobile broadband penetration.
– BBC Technology

With grilling season just getting underway, you’ll want to brush up on your ability to deliver whatever level of meat-doneness is requested. The best and most accurate way to make sure your steak is always cooked to perfection is to use an instant-read thermometer: Grill until 125 F / 52 C for rare steaks, 155 F / 68 C for well-done, and somewhere in between for all the other preferences. But what if you don’t have a meat thermometer handy? All you need is your own face. With one hand, feel the firmness of the steak and with the other compare it to different points on your face that translate to different levels of doneness: Cheeks for rare, chin for medium, and forehead for well-done. Here’s a chart …

Wives of the super-rich in NYC sometimes earn bonuses from their husbands for getting the children into prestigious schools or managing the home budget well. (This is offensive in how many different ways?)


1945 [70] John Fogerty, Berkeley CA, oldies singer (“Centerfield”, w/CCR-“Proud Mary”)  BS FACTOID: His “John Fogerty Performs the Songs of CCR” tour begins June 5th in Honolulu HI.

1964 [51] Phil Vassar, Lynchburg VA, country singer-songwriter (“Love Is a Beautiful Thing”, “In a Real Love”)

1968 [47] Kylie Minogue, Melbourne, Australia, pop singer (“Can’t Get You Out of My Head”)/movie actress (“Moulin Rouge”)

1977 [38] Elisabeth Hasselbeck (Filarski), Cranston RI, TV co-host (“FOX & Friends” since 2013, “The View” 2003-13)/reality TV contestant (“Survivor: The Australian Outback” 2001)

1978 [37] Jake Johnson, Evanston IL, TV actor (‘Nick Miller’ on “New Girl” since 2011)

1985 [30] Colbie Caillat, Newbury Park CA, pop singer (“Brighter Than the Sun”, “Bubbly”)

1985 [30] Carey Mulligan, London UK, movie actress (“The Great Gatsby”, “Drive”)

• “Amnesty International Day”, commemorating the 1961 launch of ‘Appeal for Amnesty’ which evolved into today’s “AI”. The organization strives to protect human rights around-the-world by publicizing problems and encouraging citizens and governments to take action.

• “Sierra Club Day”, celebrating the 1892 founding of the oldest, largest, and most influential grassroots environmental organization. Chapters throughout the US & Canada offer opportunities for local involvement, activism, and outdoor outings for 1.3 million members.

• “Whooping Crane Day”, a salute to the rare waterbird that’s almost become extinct. Today there are only a few hundred left in the wild.

2010 [05] Gary Coleman, former child star of 1970s TV sitcom “Diff’rent Strokes”, dies at age 42 in Provo, Utah 2 days after suffering a brain hemorrhage

2014 [01] Maya Angelou, author of “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” and many other works, dies of natural causes at age 86 at her home in Winston-Salem NC

2014 [01] Apple pays $3 billion for Beats Electronics, the music company and headphone-maker started by music producer Jimmy Iovine and rap artist Dr Dre

2002 [13] ‘Mars Odyssey’ robotic spacecraft finds signs of large ice deposits on the planet Mars

1987 [28] Paul Pearman jumps over 21 barrels … on a skateboard (Augusta GA)

[Fri] “Aloha”, “Results”, “San Andreas” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Learn About Composting Day
[Fri] International Day of UN Peacekeepers
[Sat] 2015 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction airs (HBO)
[Sat] The Wicket World of Croquet Day
[Sun] World No-Tobacco Day
This Week Is … Week of Solidarity With the People of Non-Self-Governing Territories
This Month Is … Mediterranean Diet Month


• “Baby Conceived Naturally!”
• “Pope Phil II Settles Custody Battle With Ex-Wife”
• “It Wasn’t the Cigarettes – It Was the Ashtrays!”
• “Texas Executes Last Remaining Citizen”
• “100-Year Study: Diet & Exercise Key to Weight-Loss”
• “National Zoo to Receive Rare Cow”

I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

• If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
• Does the Pillsbury Doughboy have any roll models?
• Do dogs chase their tales in the opposite direction in the Southern Hemisphere?
• What is a bush in the hand worth?
• How do itches move when you scratch them?

Which always buzzes in the key of F?
a. The queen bee.
b. The common housefly. [CORRECT]
c. The mosquito.

☎ What weird things do you before a date? Highlights from a Whisper app poll …
– “Put deodorant on my hands to prevent nervous sweating.”
– “Take Beano to help avoid the risk of an embarrassment.”
– “Purposely don’t shave my legs so things won’t go any further than kissing.”

Question: The average person will do THIS 7,163 times before they die.
Answer: Take a bath.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

Monthly Planning Calendar in Tomorrow’s Edition of “BS”!

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