Friday, May 29, 2015        Edition: #5462

Accept No Substitutes, Ask For 100% Pure BS!

★ Last night Mariah Carey was scheduled to help launch the One World Observatory with a sky-high gig atop 1 World Trade Center in NYC. The diva, who wrapped the 1st leg of her Las Vegas residency last Sunday, was booked to perform her new song “Infinity” at a gala 1,300 feet (396 meters) above street level. The new observatory, offering an unparalleled view of the city, opens to the public today. Carey returns to Vegas for the next leg of her Caesars Palace residency shows in July. (For her, this is career reboot #27 or so.)
★ Taylor Swift (25) has reportedly asked her DJ-boyfriend Calvin Harris (31) to take their relationship to the next level. A friend of Swift’s reveals: ”Taylor has asked Calvin to move in with her in LA, and he’s accepted. Calvin has already moved a bunch of his stuff into Taylor’s place.” The snitch also says Taylor has introduced Calvin to her parents while on a visit to her hometown. The couple first met at the UK’s “BRIT Awards” in London this February. (Be careful bud, or you’re about to have a bitter hit written about you.)
– “OK! Magazine”
★ Tracy Morgan and Walmart have reached a settlement in the suit he filed against the corporate giant over the New Jersey highway accident in June 2014 that killed 1 and severely injured Morgan and 2 others. It was Morgan’s friend and fellow comedian Jimmy McNair who was killed. In March, Walmart agreed to pay a $10-million settlement to the McNair family. Details of the settlement with Morgan have not been disclosed. (Might be a lot of moolah but … the guy may never work again. He hasn’t made a public appearance since the accident.)

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – Tonight variety acts of all ages audition in hope of making it to the next round. Rerun.
• BottleRock Napa Valley (Napa CA) – This 3rd annual 3-day music, culinary, wine, and brew festival is headlined by Imagine Dragons, No Doubt, and Robert Plant. Also on the bill: Avett Broths, Cage The Elephant, Foster the People, Passion Pit, Young the Giant and more.
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – Sunday fan-favorite moments from the past season; Amber Riley, Lil’ Kim, and Patti LaBelle perform.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Pitbull (“Globalization”). Rerun.
• “Golan the Insatiable” (FOX) – Debut of a new animated comedy in which a dark lord of an alternate universe (Rob Riggle) arrives in small-town Minnesota and befriends a macabre girl (Aubrey Plaza).
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Ed Sheeran (“x”) performs live.
• Gumball 3000 Sports Car Rally (Las Vegas NV) – The annual international race that began in Stockholm, Sweden last Sunday wraps up in Vegas Saturday. Participants include Afrojack; sorta actors David Hasselhoff and Dolph Lundgren (“The Expendables”); Tommy Lee (Motley Crue); and pro skateboarder Tony Hawk. DJs Deadmau5 and Diplo; and rappers Bun B and Eve perform as part of a 2-day end-of-race concert celebration tonight & tomorrow.
• “Halt & Catch Fire” (AMC) – Sunday the 2nd season debut of the drama set in the ‘Silicon Prairie’ of Texas during the 1980s personal-computer boom.
• iHeartMedia Summer Pool Party (Las Vegas NV) – Saturday at Caesars Palace, live performances by Chris Brown, David Guetta, Echosmith, Kelly Clarkson, Nick Jonas, Nicki Minaj, and Shaggy. Streaming on Yahoo Live.
• “Jimi Hendrix: American Masters” (PBS) – Sunday performance footage and interviews provide an inside look at the life of the legendary guitarist.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight a rerun of the Imagine Dragons/REO Speedwagon mash-up called ‘Imagine REO SpeedDragons’.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/Omni 1) – Natalie La Rose & Jeremih (“Somebody”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight Elle King (“Love Stuff”). Rerun.
• “Queen Latifah” (syndicated) – Today Christina Milian (“Christina Milian Turned Up”). Rerun.
• Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction (HBO) – Saturday the debut of a 3-hour special highlighting the 2015 gala that took place in Cleveland OH on April 18th. Honorees include Bill Withers, Green Day, Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, and the late Lou Reed.
• Sweetlife (Columbia MD ) – Saturday-Sunday this 6th annual DC-area music fest features Bleachers, Calvin Harris, Charli XCX, Kendrick Lamar, and The Weeknd.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Today guest co-host Wynonna Judd. Rerun.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning Pitbull performs live.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight U2 (“Innocence + Experience Tour”). Rerun.

• Azealia Banks – She’s starring as a female rapper who enrolls in college in the movie “It Doesn’t Have to Rhyme”, which has begun shooting this week in NYC. Directed by rapper-turned-director RZA (Wu-Tang Clan), it co-stars rapper Common and singer Jill Scott.
• BB King – After memorials in Las Vegas and a Dixieland jazz band procession down Beale Street in Memphis TN, the blues legend is finally being buried in his native Mississippi Saturday.
• Garth Brooks – His “Garth Brooks World Tour With Trisha Yearwood” is wrapping a 4-consecutive-night run at the Thompson Boling Arena in Knoxville TN on Sunday.
• Third Eye Blind – Frontman Stephan Jenkins says their upcoming 5th album, “Dopamine”, out June 16th), will be their last. They’ll opt for digital distribution of individual songs in the future.
• Toby Keith – Tonight he launches the “Toby Keith Good Times & Pick Up Lines Tour” at Shoreline Amphitheatre in Mountain View CA. The extensive trek runs through September 26th in Pittsburgh PA.
• Twenty One Pilots – Their 4th album “Blurryface” has debuted atop the new ‘Billboard 200’ album chart.
• U2 – Their tour manager for 33 years, Dennis Sheehan, has been found dead of a heart attack in his West Hollywood hotel room. That’s rocked the band, Bono posting the message: “We’ve lost a family member, we’re still taking it in. He is irreplaceable.” Despite the tragedy, the show must go on; with the band finishing up a series of gigs at LA’s Forum this weekend.

• “Aloha” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Bradley Cooper stars as a military contractor who returns to a former work site in Honolulu HI, where he reconnects with a former flame (played by Rachel McAdams), but then simultaneously falls for an Air Force watchdog (Emma Stone). Directed by Cameron Crowe (“Almost Famous”).
• “Results” ( R-Rated Comedy ): The lives of two totally mismatched personal trainers at the ‘Power 4 Life’ gym are upended by the bizarre actions of a new, wealthy client. Stars Guy Pearce (“Iron Man 3”), Cobie Smulders (“How I Met Your Mother”), Kevin Corrigan, Giovanni Ribisi. Described as witty and light-hearted but also complex story-telling.
• “San Andreas” (  PG-13 Action Thriller ): Dwayne Johnson stars as a rescue-chopper pilot who makes a dangerous journey across California in the aftermath of a massive earthquake in order to save his estranged daughter. Along the way he helps rescue many, many others. Co-stars Carla Gugino, Alexandra Daddario.

In a bid to erase the stigma surrounding breastfeeding in public, many moms, including models Miranda Kerr and Gisele Bundchen, have been joining the trend of posting breastfeeding selfies, aka ‘brelfies’, on social media. But now parenting groups are raising concerns about the ‘brelfie’ trend, suggesting it creates a culture of judgement among mothers. A new survey of bottle-feeding moms seems to back that up: 41% admit to feeling they have ‘failed their child’ because they don’t breastfeed; 39% say they’ve been the target of negative comments and looks from strangers; and 15% admit they’ve actually lied … claiming they breastfeed when they don’t. (We say ain’t nobody’s bidness but their own.)

Crows are protective of their tools. They tuck them under their toes or hide them in holes, even more so when higher up a tree.
– “Science News”


1958 [57] Annette Bening, Topeka KS, movie actress (“The Kids Are All Right”, “American Beauty”)

1961 [54] Melissa Etheridge, Leavenworth KS, classic rock singer (“I’m the Only One”, “I Want to Come Over”)

1967 [48] Noel Gallagher, Manchester UK, rock guitarist-songwriter (Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds-“The Death of You & Me”, Oasis-“Don’t Look Back in Anger”)

1975 [40] Melanie B (Brown), Leeds UK, TV personality (“America’s Got Talent” since 2013, “The X Factor UK” 2012)/former pop singer (‘Scary Spice’ of the Spice Girls)

1994 [21] Lorelei Linklater, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, movie actress (“Boyhood”)/daughter of movie director Richard Linklater

Country singer Wynonna (The Judds) is 51; Rock guitarist Tom Morello (Audioslave/Rage Against the Machine) is 51; Pop singer/actress Idina Menzel (“Let It Go”) is 44; Pop singer Cee Lo Green (Gnarls Barkley/Goodie Mob) is 40.

Movie actor-director Clint Eastwood (“American Sniper”) is 85; TV personality Phil Keoghan (“Amazing Race”) is 48; TV actress Archie Panjabi (“The Good Wife”) is 43; Movie/TV actor Colin Farrell (“True Detective”) is 39; Rock drummer Andy Hurley (Fall Out Boy) is 35; Pop singer Normani Kordei Hamilton (Fifth Harmony) is 19.

• “International Day of United Nations Peacekeepers”, observed on the anniversary of the first deployment of UN Peacekeeping Forces, in 1948 in the Middle East.
• “Learn About Composting Day”, a great excuse to go green and help the environment.
• “Pink Flamingo Day”, saluting the tacky lawn ornament created by Don Featherstone in 1957. There are now more fake ones than real ones in North America.

• “Mint Julep Day”, celebrating the delicious and refreshing Summer cocktail made with bourbon whiskey, mint, water, and sugar. Sounds best if you order one using a Southern accent.
• “Water a Flower Day”, because nourishing a little bit of natural beauty might be the only truly worthwhile thing you do all day.

• “Macaroon Day”, honoring those ooey-gooey coconut cookies that stick to your fillings.
• “Save Your Hearing Day”. I SAID, TODAY IS “SAVE YOUR HEARING DAY” … if you’d turn down your earbuds you’d be able to … oh, never mind.
• “World No-Tobacco Day”, as declared by the UN’s World Health Organization to encourage people to kick their butts.

2003 [12] Legendary entertainer Bob Hope celebrates his 100th birthday (dies a couple months later on July 27th)

2009 [06] The Disney/Pixar animated movie “Up” premieres in movie theaters (racks up 5 Academy Award nominations)

2010 [05] Movie actor Dennis Hopper (“Blue Velvet”, “Easy Rider”, “True Grit”) dies of prostate cancer in Venice CA at age 74

2005 [10] 23-year-old Danica Patrick becomes the 1st female driver to take the lead in the fabled Indianapolis 500 auto race (eventually finishes 4th)

[Jun 1] Global Day of Parents / Heimlich Maneuver Day / Go Barefoot Day / Leave the Office Early Day / Thank God It’s Monday Day / Oscar the Grouch Day / Say Something Nice Day / “The Whispers” debuts (ABC)
[Jun 2] “Pretty Little Liars” season debut (ABC Family) / Bubba Day / Full ‘Strawberry’ Moon / Yell Fudge at the Cobras in North America Day
[Jun 3] “Entourage” opens in movie theaters / Running Day / Tailors Day / “Archie Comics” final edition
[Jun 4] X Games begin (Austin TX) / “Hannibal” season debut (NBC) / International Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression
[Jun 5] “Insidious: Chapter 3”; “Spy” open in movie theaters / Governors Ball festival begins (NYC) / America’s Cup begins / Doughnut Day / Horseradish Day / Hot Air Balloon Day / Moonshine Day / Positive Power of Humor & Creativity Day / World Environment Day
[Jun 6] CatConLA begins (LA CA) / Atheists Pride Day / Drive-in Movie Day / Yo-Yo Day / Belmont Stakes (Queens NY) / Drawing Day / Trails Day
[Jun 7] Tony Awards (NYC) / Cancer Survivors Day
[Jun 8] “Becoming Us” debuts (ABC Family) / Upsy Daisy Day / World Oceans Day
[Jun 9] Donald Duck Day / World Pet Memorial Day
[Jun 10] CMT Music Awards (Nashville TN) / Ball Point Pen Day / Iced Tea Day
[Jun 11] CMA Music Festival begins (Nashville TN) / Bonnaroo festival begins (Manchester TN) / Isle of Wight Festival begins (UK) / Corn on the Cob Day / Cotton Candy Day / Career Nurse Assistants Day
[Jun 12] “Orange Is the New Black” Season 3 release (Netflix) / “Jurassic World” opens in movie theaters / Download Festival begins (Donington Park UK) / Banana Split Day / Crowded Nest Awareness Day / Lemonade Day / Jerky Day / Peanut Butter Cookie Day / Superman Day / World Day Against Child Labor / Poultry Day
[Jun 13] World Bike Naked Day / Missing Mutts Awareness Day / Trooping Of the Colours (London UK) / World Gin Day / World Juggling Day / Worldwide Knit in Public Day
[Jun 14] Abused Women & Children’s Awareness Day / Children’s Sunday / Family History Day / Bourbon Day / Blood Donor Day
[Jun 15] “Making Of the Mob: New York” premieres (AMC) / Global Wind Day / Nature Photography Day / Ride to Work on Your Motorcycle Day / World Elder Abuse Awareness Day
[Jun 16] “Rizzoli & Isles” season debut (TNT) / Fudge Day
[Jun 17] Ramadan begins at sundown (Muslim) / Vans Warped Tour begins (Anchorage AK) / Eat Your Vegetables Day / World Day to Combat Desertification & Drought
[Jun 18] Live Earth concerts worldwide / Amnesia Rockfest begins (Montebello QC) / Firefly Festival begins (Dover DE) / British Summer Time festival begins (London UK) / Country Jam festival begins (Grand Junction CO) / “Mistresses” season debut (ABC) / International Sushi Day / Recess at Work Day
[Jun 19] “Dope”; “Inside Out”; “Infinitely Polar Bear” open in movie theaters / Songwriters Hall of Fame Gala (NYC) / Garfield the Cat Day / Flip Flops Day / Ugliest Dog Day / Work@Home Fathers Day / World Sauntering Day
[Jun 20] Dollars Against Diabetes Day / World Productivity Day / World Refugee Day
[Jun 21] Fathers Day / MuchMusic Video Awards (Toronto ON) / Alzheimer’s Awareness Day / Atheists Solidarity Day / Family Awareness Day / Global Orgasm Day / Go Skateboarding Day / Daylight Appreciation Day / Selfie Day / Summer Solstice (12:38 pm EDT) / Tall Girl Appreciation Day / “Battlebots”; “Celebrity Family Feud” premiere (ABC) / World Handshake Day / World Humanist Day / World Music Day
[Jun 22] Global Smurfs Day / Stupid Guy Thing Day / Baby Boomers Recognition Day
[Jun 23] International Widows Day / Let It Go Day / Runners Selfie Day
[Jun 24] Glastonbury festival begins (Somerset UK) / Summerfest begins (Milwaukee WI) / “Big Brother” season debut (CBS) / “Mr Robot”; “Suits” season premieres (USA) / Celebration Of the Senses / International Fairy Day
[Jun 25] “Under the Dome” season debut (CBS) / “Rookie Blue” season debut (ABC) / “Boom” series premiere (FOX) / The BET Experience begins (LA CA) / Day Of the Seafarer / Global Beatles Day / Catfish Day
[Jun 26] “Big Game”; “Max”; “Ted 2” open in movie theaters / Drive Your Corvette to Work Day / International Day Against Drug Abuse & Illicit Trafficking / International Day in Support of Victims of Torture / Canoe Day / Take Your Dog to Work Day
[Jun 27] Decide to Be Married Day / Industrial Workers Of the World Day / PTSD Awareness Day / Backyard Campout Night
[Jun 28] “Falling Skies” season debut (TNT) / BET Awards (LA CA) / International Body Piercing Day / Log Cabin Day / Descendants Day
[Jun 29] Please Take My Children to Work Day
[Jun 30] “Zoo” series premiere (CBS) / “Scream” series debut (MTV) / National Organization for Women Day


This is shaping up to be the Summer of new TV games shows, with “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?”, “The Briefcase”, “Bullseye”, and “500 Questions” already debuting, and “BattleBots” and “Boom” on the way. A good excuse to check out these …
✗ “Wheel of Fortune Cookies”
✗ “Family Crude”
✗ “The Bong Show”
✗ “Whose Pants Are These, Anyway?”
✗ “The Price is Shite”
✗ “Leper-dy!”
✗ “Wheel of Foreplay”
✗ “Biggest Loser Brother”
✗ “Who Wants to Be a Prison Bitch?”
✗ “Let’s Bake a Veal!”

☎ Best-ever band reunion? Beach Boys? Blur? Fleetwood Mac? Led Zeppelin? Police?

One goldfish says to the other, “If there’s no God, who changes our water every week?”

Question: Men who carry THIS increase their chances of landing a date by 33%.
Answer: Guitar.

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

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