Tuesday, May 29, 2018 Edition: #6222
Accept No Substitutes, Ask For 100% Pure BS!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Ryan Reynolds is investigating his wife’s disappearance… or her at least character’s. Reynolds demanded a spoiler from Blake Lively after she shared the trailer from her upcoming thriller, “A Simple Favor”. In it, she plays a woman named Emily, who apparently disappears without a trace. Reynolds tweeted, “You can tell me. We’re married. You once drove me to the hospital when you were giving birth”. So… what the (F) happened to Emily?” No answer so far from Lively. “A Simple Favor” hits theaters on September 14.
★ Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are heading to a spot with a royal reputation for their honeymoon, and it’s not too far from her homeland. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are going to Alberta, Canada’s Fairmont Jasper Park Lodge for their post-wedding getaway, and will be staying at the 6,000 sq. ft. Outlook Cabin … aka “The Royal Retreat.” It’s considered a Canadian Paradise — tucked away in the middle of Jasper National Park — and has a rich history of royal guests … from both England and Hollywood.
★ The creators of Sesame Street are suing the production company behind Melissa McCarthy’s upcoming movie, “The Happytime Murders” for its use of X-rated puppets. The creators of the iconic children’s show also allege that the film’s tagline, “No Sesame, All Street,” leads audiences to believe there is a connection to the show. They accuse the production company of deliberately misleading audiences into thinking that the movie is associated with Sesame Street, and say the film “tarnishes Sesame’s brand.” The Happytime Murders, also starring Joel McHale and Elizabeth Banks, is set to be released in August.
★ Ronda Rousey says she’d be honored to host the Indiana school teacher who risked his life to save his students during a shooting last week … assuming the guy is a fan of WWE. Rousey says she’d have no problem allowing 29-year-old Jason Seaman of Noblesville West Middle School walk her into the ring at one of her matches. Seaman is being hailed as a hero after he’s said to have tackled an unnamed suspect who opened fire in one of his classes Friday, saving countless lives.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Keri Russell, Pamela Adlon, Maddie Poppe
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jennifer Lopez, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Car Seat Headrest ( R )
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Amy Schumer, Madeleine Albright, Giada De Laurentiis ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Michelle Wolf, Zach Woods, Jessie Ware, Aaron Spears ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Eric Bana, Padma Lakshmi, Anders Holm ( R )
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Heather Graham, Gad Elmaleh, Sofi Tukker ( R )
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Ryan Serhant, Ramona Singer ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sen. Elizabeth Warren, Andy Cohen
• “The Talk” (CBS): Alan Cumming, Kandi Burruss
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jim Parson, Becca Kufrin
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jon Hamm, Brandi Carlile
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): Season premiere
• “Mary Kay Letourneau: Autobiography” (A&E): Letourneau, a Seattle grade school teacher, stunned the world when she fell in love with her 13-year-old former sixth grade student Vili Fualaau.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Shawn Mendes – wants to encourage men to speak out about mental health by being open about his own anxiety battles. Quote: ”I spoke to a therapist a couple of times. Therapy is what works for you. Therapy is listening to music and running on the treadmill, therapy is going to dinner with your friends – it’s something that distracts you, that helps you heal and so it just depends on what you think therapy is.” He says he also made an effort to be more connected to the people in his life.
• Kendrick Lamar – has reportedly threatened to pull all of his music from Spotify after disagreeing with their new hateful conduct policy. The streaming service announced the ‘Hate Conduct & Hateful Conduct’ policy earlier this month, which attempted to bring its ‘editorial decisions’ in line with the company’s values.
• Weezer – seems to have good-naturedly trolled a fan. They responded to her online campaign to have them record a cover of Toto’s ‘Africa’ by posting a link to their newly recorded version… of Toto’s ‘Rosanna’.
• Elton John – Paramount has scheduled a release date of May 17, 2019, for “Rocketman”, the movie based on his rise to fame. Taron Egerton of the Kingsman movies will star. Dexter Fletcher, who is a co-director on the upcoming Queen biopic “Bohemian Rhapsody”, will direct.
• Def Leppard – although singer Joe Elliot jokes that they flip a coin each night to decide whether they or Journey will hit the stage first during their co-headlining tour, it is actually something that the two bands’ management are working out, based on their fan bases.
• KISS – guitarist Tommy Thayer has received an honorary degree from Pacific University in Oregon. His father, Brigadier Gen. James B. Thayer, received the same honor 9 years ago.
• Sting – Ivy League school Brown University has awarded him with an honorary degree for his co-founding of the Rainforest Fund, to protect the world’s rainforests. The Rhode Island school presented him with the degree at its 250th commencement Sunday.
• Lindsay Ell – has released her version of John Mayer’s ‘Continuum’. “The Continuum Project” was also co-produced and co-engineered by Ell.
• Willie Nelson – walked off stage at the start of a performance on Saturday before playing a single tune. He tossed his hat to the crowd as he walked off stage. A press release later explained that “Due to illness, Willie Nelson was unable to play tonight at the Outlaw Music Festival at PNC Music Pavilion Charlotte.” He plans to re-schedule.
THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Annihilation” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure): A biologist signs up for a dangerous, secret expedition into a mysterious zone where the laws of nature don’t apply. (Natalie Portman, Jennifer Jason Leigh)
• “Tomb Raider” (PG-13, Action/Adventure): Lara Croft, the fiercely independent daughter of a missing adventurer, must push herself beyond her limits when she discovers the island where her father disappeared. (Alicia Vikander, Dominic West)
• “The Bachelors” (Not Rated, Comedy): After the early death of his wife, a mourning father moves with his teenage son across the country for a private school teaching job. Their lives begin to transform due to two unique women, who help them embrace life and love again. (Odeya Rush, J.K. Simmons)
• “Love, Simon” (PG-13, Drama): Simon Spier keeps a huge secret from his family, his friends, and all of his classmates: he’s gay. When that secret is threatened, Simon must face everyone and come to terms with his identity. (Nick Robinson, Jennifer Garner, Josh Duhamel)
• “The Hurricane Heist” (PG-13, Action/Drama): Thieves attempt a massive heist against the U.S. Treasury as a Category 5 hurricane approaches one of its Mint facilities. (Toby Kebbell, Maggie Grace)
When you were a kid in class, merrily interrupting the teacher’s lesson by cracking your knuckles, she would always warn you that you shouldn’t do that because it causes arthritis. Well, parents and teachers said the same thing to Dr. Donald L. Ungler, and he decided to take things into his own hands. Literally. Dr. Ungler spent 50 years cracking the knuckles of his left hand at least twice a day. He left his right hand alone. In a tongue-in-cheek letter to the editor of Arthritis & Rheumatism, he estimated that he cracked the knuckles of his left hand at least 36,500 times, while the knuckles of his right were cracked “rarely or spontaneously.” At the end of his experiment, he examined his hands for arthritis and found none. Amusingly, he wrote that, “This result calls into question whether other parental beliefs, e.g., the importance of eating spinach, are also flawed.” Although Dr. Ungler’s research was conducted on a sample size of just one person, a 2011 study of 215 people also found that there was no significant difference in the risk of hand osteoarthritis for people who cracked their knuckles and people who didn’t.
(Arthritis? You’d think they’d come up with a threat that was a little more imminent than the possibility of arthritis at age 70, wouldn’t you?)
(How do you crack the knuckles on just one hand? I’d feel all uneven!)
(Good thing, because I’ve got joints that crack whether I want them to or not!)
READING ALL THE WAY TO THE END:
You know what they say about jogging. It’ll make you live longer…if it doesn’t kill you. Now, a new study says that reading can extend your life. And there is little to no chance that it will kill you. The study showed that older adults who read books for at least 30 minutes per day live 23 months longer on average than those who don’t read at all. This comes from Health and Retirement Study (HRS), a biennial study that’s been examining the health of retirees since 1992. They compared people who read books to people who didn’t and found they were different in many more ways than just lifespan. Book readers also tend to be less depressed, more educated, and wealthier than their non-reading counterparts. Researchers hypothesize that books give the brain the chance to soothe and recharge itself, leading to positive effects in the brain and increased longevity.
(You may live longer, but you have to spend that extra time READING!)
(What if I read while I’m jogging?)
(It’s true! I’m reading “War and Peace” and I think it’s gonna take FOREVER to finish it!)
HOW TO TELL IF SOMEONE IS LYING:
☞ They stare at you intensely: Usually liars break eye contact. However, true sociopaths do their best to avoid that. This special breed of liar feels that maintaining eye contact is a way to “control and manipulate” others. (Creepy looks from creeps!)
☞ Where they look: If they’re right-handed, they’re likely to look right when lying, and left when they’re not. Lefties look to the left to lie. (If they look to the right, something ain’t right!)
☞ Hiding their mouth and/or face: When people lie, they tend to cover their pie holes. Researchers believe this is an involuntary method of trying to hide something by hiding their mouths. (Either that or they had garlic for lunch…)
☞ Freaky head movements: When a person shakes his or her head yes or no at the same time as when they speak, they are probably telling the truth. If the shake comes after, you might just have found yourself a liar. An even bigger tell—liars will sometimes say yes but shake their heads no, and vice versa. (They could also be non-committal…)
☞ Look at their feet: Liars tend to point their feet towards the door or closest available exit, when in the midst of spinning a yarn. (This also helps you tell if they’ve stolen your shoes!)
☞ A lot of phlegm: Liars clear their throats before they spout out a big whopper. This is a nonverbal way of saying, “I swear to God …” And lying also causes anxiety, leading to mouth and throat dryness, which can cause them to clear their throat.
☞ TMI: They give you way more info than you asked for. They’re hoping to wear you down by yammering on and on about everything except the answer to your question, with no end in sight. Liars hope with all their talking and seeming openness, others will believe them. (Now I KNOW my neighbor Ol’ Mrs. Maloney is a stinking liar!)
(And of course, it’s even easier to tell if a politician is lying….if their lips are moving, they are!)
BS CHRONOMETER 05.29.18
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1953  Danny Elfman, Los Angeles CA, composer (“The Nightmare Before Christmas”, “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, “Spider-Man”)/founder of new wave band Oingo Boingo (‘Dead Man’s Party’)
1958  Annette Bening, Topeka KS, movie actress (“The Kids Are All Right”, “American Beauty”)
1956  La Toya Jackson, Gary, IN, R&B singer (“Just Wanna Dance, Free The World”)
1961  Melissa Etheridge, Leavenworth KS, classic rock singer (‘I’m the Only One’, ‘Come to My Window’)
1967  Noel Gallagher, Manchester UK, rock guitarist-songwriter (Oasis -‘Wonderwall, Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds-‘The Death of You & Me’)
1975  Melanie B (Brown), Leeds UK, TV personality (“America’s Got Talent” since 2013, “The X Factor UK” 2012)/former pop singer (‘Scary Spice’ of the Spice Girls – ‘Wannabe’)
1984  Laverne Cox, Mobile, AL, TV actress (“Orange Is The New Black”)/in 2014 became the first transgender person in over twenty years to be nominated for an Emmy
1989  Riley Keough, Los Angeles CA, movie actress (“Mad Max: Fury Road”, “It Comes at Night”)/ granddaughter of rock and roll legend Elvis Presley
1994  Lorelei Linklater, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, movie actress (“Boyhood”) /daughter of movie director Richard Linklater
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Day of United Nations Peacekeepers”, observed on the anniversary of the first deployment of UN Peacekeeping Forces, in 1948 in the Middle East.
• “Learn About Composting Day”, a great excuse to go green and help the environment.
• “Paper Clip Day”, yes, even the paperclip has its own day. It is about that well-known piece of curved wire that keeps our papers together and helps keep us organized.
• “Coq Au Vin Day”, Coq au vin (translates to “rooster with wine”) is French braise of chicken, cooked with wine, lardons (salt pork), mushrooms and garlic.
• “Biscuit Day”, American biscuits are small crusty bread rolls, often served at breakfast or as a side dish. However, in the UK, the word “biscuit” is used for flat sweet treats which are known as “cookies” in the US.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Mint Julep Day
[Wed] World MS Day
[Thurs] National Smile Day
[Thurs] Macaroon Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003  Legendary entertainer Bob Hope celebrates his 100th birthday (dies a couple months later on July 27th)
2009  The Disney/Pixar animated movie “Up” premieres in movie theaters (racks up 5 Academy Award nominations)
2010  Movie actor Dennis Hopper (“Blue Velvet”, “Easy Rider”, “True Grit”) dies of prostate cancer in Venice CA at age 74
THIS DAY IN MUSIC:
1983  Van Halen gets a record $1.5 million to play Day 2 (“Heavy Metal Day”) of Apple founder Steve Wozniak’s US Festival, the second and final year of the event. At the time, it’s the most any act has ever been paid for a single performance.
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2005  23-year-old Danica Patrick becomes the 1st female driver to take the lead in the fabled Indianapolis 500 auto race (eventually finishes 4th)
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Watermelon is part of the cucumber, pumpkin, and squash family and consists of 92% water.
✓ Drinking one soda a day can biologically age you by as many as 4.6 years.
✓ Dark roasted coffees have less caffeine than lighter roasts. The process of roasting burns off the caffeine.
✓ Attractive politicians typically receive more news coverage than less attractive politicians.
✓ If you were driving 60 mph (100kph) in a car, it would take 271 years and 221 days to get to Mars from Earth.
✓ The top of Mount Everest has 3G coverage.
BS HOW MEN SAY THEY’RE SORRY:
• “Look, I’m sorry you misunderstood but….”
• “Hey babe, you still mad? You wanna do it?”
• “I’m sorry for whatever it was that I did or didn’t do wrong.”
• “Wow, you’re looking gorgeous today, is that a new dress? It really suits you.”
• By ignoring the whole thing and hoping it goes away.
• By throwing chocolate and hiding behind the couch.
• By forgetting the flowers and bringing home some wine.
• They do that?
BS OTHER THINGS ALANIS FINDS IRONIC:
• Wearing workout clothes when you don’t even work out.
• 10,000 likes when all you need is a retweet.
• Finding a hair in your soup that was served by a bald waiter.
• That we cook bacon and bake cookies.
• The fact that back in the day, she looked just like Dave Grohl.
• That the song ‘Ironic’ doesn’t contain one true example of irony.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the most embarrassed you’ve ever been?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I take my paycheck to the bar because that’s better than drinking a loan.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Nearly half of us say we have lied to a friend to get out of THIS. What?
Answer: Helping them move
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Enjoy the little things in life because one day you will look back, and realize they were the big things.