Wednesday,  May 3, 2017        Edition: #5966

Sheet For Brains!

★ Sure you know by now that Ryan Seacrest is the new co-host of ‘Live With Kelly and Ryan,’ but did you know that the wildly successful duo has a combined net worth of $450 million?  Both entertainment powerhouses bring home a jaw-dropping paycheck every year — but how do the two stack up?  According to AOL Finance, Seacrest wins by a wide margin: His personal wealth is set at $350 million.  While Ripa’s annual paycheck of $20 million is impressive, her personal net worth is set at a paltry $100 million.
(Anyone want to make a guess about Brian Dunkelman’s??)
★ Though they may have decades between them, Scarlett Johansson has found her twin — and she wants to party with her.  Last week, a Reddit user named denverjoel shared a photo of his 72-year-old grandmother Geraldine taken when she was 22. In it, Geraldine bears a striking resemblance to the star.  And, apparently, Johansson agrees.  She says she wants to meet the granny and have a drink.  Geraldine noted that she was ‘drunk as a skunk’ in the photo, and Scarlett says that she wants to see her new-found twin’s ‘drunk-face’ in person and has offered her an all-expenses paid trip to the premiere of her new movie ‘Rough Night’…and for drinks.
Scar-Jo already has a twin brother.
★ Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe’s marriage certificate is hitting the auction block.  The document highlights Goldin Auction’s Spring collection…and the winning bid is estimated to reach $75,000!!  The superstar model and Yankee legend got hitched during the prime of their careers on January 14, 1954, but the marriage only lasted 9 months due to Joe’s alleged jealousy.
★ Kim Kardashian says she’s shunning certain extravagances in her life like jewelry, but that doesn’t mean she won’t still be living in the lap of luxury.  Kim and Kanye say they are NOT changing their plan to move into their $20 million Hidden Hills mansion, with 8 bedrooms, 10 bathrooms, a spa, movie theater, a make-up room, a lake, and on and on — 30,000 square feet and all.  She told Ellen that since being robbed, she is no longer into the flashy, materialistic things that once defined her life.
(Except, you know, $20 million homes and stuff)
★ Quentin Tarantino used to count the number of people who walked out of his film “Reservoir Dogs”.  During the Tribeca Film Festival 25th Anniversary screening of the film, he pointed out that the scene that most people can’t handle is when Michael Madsen is dancing to the song “Stuck in the Middle With You” while torturing a cop after a jewelery heist.  At one screening, he counted 33 walkouts.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global):  Anthony Anderson, Future
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV):  Kaley Cuoco, Horatio Sanz, LP
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global):  Jim Parsons, Jeff Garlin, Paul Scheer
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV):  Chris Pratt, Beth Behrs, Shane Smith, Josh Dion
• “Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV):  Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Taylor Schilling, Ryan Adams
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV):  Elisabeth Moss, Tiger Army, Lauren Ash
• “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy):  Michael Bloomberg, Carl Pope, Sanaa Lathan
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy):  Kurt Russell, Ron Funches, Chicano Batman
• “The View” (ABC/CTV):  Dr. Drew Pinsky
• “The Talk” (CBS):  Barry Manilow, Big Boy
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Zoe Saldana, Jeff Garlin
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV):  Alec Baldwin, Taylor Schilling
• “The Real” (FOX): Dr. Mehmet Oz, guest co-host Joseline Hernandez

• U2 – became just the fourth act to hit the Top 40 in each of the last 4 decades last week.  Their appearance on Kendrick Lamar’s ‘XXX’ earned the Irish rockers the honor, joining Madonna, Michael Jackson and (wait for it….) Weird Al Yankovic.  U2’s last Top 40 hit was 2009’s ‘Get on Your Boots’.
• Bruce Springsteen – claims he never paid income tax before age 25, and as a result, once the IRS caught up with him, between paying back taxes, penalties and for lawyers, he was only worth $20,000 by the time he turned 30. Yes, that was after 4 classic albums including ‘Born to Run’. (Well, he DOES have a big band to feed…)
• The Chainsmokers – surprised the students of Huntley High School in Chicago by showing up at their prom to play one song (‘Closer’), before hustling off to their concert 3 miles away.  It happened after a student had emailed the band complaining that he had to skip The Chainsmokers concert for prom.
• John Legend – received a social justice award at Salem State University in Salem, Mass. yesterday.  He also performed.
• Harry Styles – has announced that he will be launching a world tour later this year.  It will include shows in North America, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Singapore and Japan, in support of his self-titled solo album which is set to be released on May 12th and includes his current hit single “Sign Of The Times.”
• Janet Jackson – has teased fans by launching a countdown clock on her official website.  Janet has offered no clues as to what she may be about to announce, but her online followers have been quick to speculate that she is either set to release new music or reprise her ‘Unbreakable World Tour’, which she postponed in early 2016 as she was “planning her family” with now-estranged husband Wissam Al Mana.
• Brett Kissel – the Canadian country singer’s attempt to sing the American national anthem at an NHL playoff game in Edmonton was thwarted twice by a malfunctioning microphone.  At that point, he threw his hands in the air and encouraged the Canadian fans to help him out.  And they did…singing all the words while Kissel sang along, mic-less.  He later Tweeted: “no worries.  The best singers and fans are in Oil-country”.  Video currently going viral.

A totally partial list of the best 10 candy bars available for sale in the U.S:
10. Skor:  Also called Heath.  And can be used in Christmas baking.  Score!
9. 100 Grand: So good it’s basically a full meal.
8. Nestle Crunch:  Exactly as advertised.
7. Snickers: We’ll eat whatever Betty White sells us.
6.  Butterfinger: Ditto Bart Simpson. There is really nothing else on earth like a Butterfinger.
5.  Twix:  The reason that there are two Twix per package is because immediately after finishing one, you NEED another instantaneously.
4.  Sky Bar: If you have never had a Sky Bar, you need to seriously re-evaluate your life choices. IT’S FOUR CANDY BARS IN ONE!
3.  3 Musketeers:  What’s that? You wrapped a chocolate cloud in chocolate? And I can buy it for $1.00?
2.  Carmello:  This candy bar is nothing short of a miracle. Decent chocolate, perfectly flowing caramel, always a mess, always delicious.
1.  If a 3 Musketeers bar and a Caramello had a baby, it would be a Milky Way. And then we would eat that baby. Sorry. That got weird.
(Candy Bar?  Chocolate Bar?  Doesn’t matter….just keep ‘em comin’….)
(I don’t  want to live in a world without Kit Kat)
-Huffington Post

Elon Musk is a visionary.  And the founder of Tesla Motors.  And SpaceX.  He is worth over $15 billion.  And he is the boyfriend of Amber Heard.  Now he is taking on his biggest ever challenge: Los Angeles traffic.  Musk has apparently started a company which has already started to test-tunnel UNDER Los Angeles in hopes of someday allowing vehicles to bypass major highways at a speed of about 125mph….underground!  While that might go a long way toward alleviating traffic, you have to wonder who is going to pay for an intricate system of vehicle-worthy tunnels underneath major cities.   Oh, and the name of his new venture?  ‘The Boring Company’.
(Actually, at 125mph,  it’s anything but!)
(Let’s see, massive tunnels along one of the world’s biggest fault lines, near the coast where ocean levels are rising every year at unprecedented rates….what could go wrong?)
(Is he planning to pay for it with the funds from the inevitable disaster movie?)
-The Verge

We’ve all had those nights when sleep is just not in the cards, and the answer for many of us is an extra cup of coffee the next day. But according to new research published in the journal ‘Physiology & Behavior’, getting that needed boost of energy can be achieved with a simple walk up the stairs. Or more accurately, 10 minutes worth of walking up and down the stairs. The study followed 18 female university students  who slept less than 45 hours per week (approximately six-and-a-half hours a night). They assigned them to either 10 minutes of low-to-moderate stair walking, taking a 50mg caffeine pill or a placebo. Results showed that taking the stairs energized the women better than the caffeine did. While the invigorated feeling was temporary, it also increased motivation to do cognitive work.
(I think.)
(Take the stairs to go get coffee.  You’ll be awake all week!)
-Huffington Post

Dogs are like people.  They can be shy at first.  They don’t want to be hugged by strangers.  Here is how to get them to warm up to you….safely:
• Approach the owner: When you see a dog you want to meet or you’re meeting a friend’s dog for the first time, ignore the dog and talk to the owner instead. A dog looks at his or her owner for emotional cues, so if the dog sees that the owner is comfortable with you, chances are, the dog will be comfortable with you, too.
• Position yourself side-by-side: Instead of coming right at the dog, position yourself side-by-side and allow the dog to approach you.
• Avoid eye contact: Eye contact can be threatening to dogs, so it’s best to find a neutral spot to focus on instead. One suggestion is the dog’s chest area.
• Let them sniff: With a closed fist, allow the dog to take a sniff and smell you. A closed hand is less threatening. If the dog sniffs and seems okay with you, you can probably pet them on the shoulder, chest, or neck, which is less threatening than petting the top of the dog’s head or it’s butt.
(So the mutual butt-sniffing thing is a ‘no’?)

McDonald’s famous Hi-C orange drink is no more.  It has been replaced by Sprite Tropic Berry.


1934 [83] Frankie Valli, Newark, NJ, Pop Singer (Frontman with the Four Seasons whose hits included “Big Girls Don’t Cry” and “Sherry”)
1946 [71] Greg Gumbel, New Orleans LA, CBS-TV sportscaster (“The NFL on CBS”, NCAA basketball)
1971 [46] John Driskell Hopkins, Atlanta GA, country bass guitarist-vocalist (Zac Brown Band-“Colder Weather”, “Chicken Fried”)
1975 [42] Christina Hendricks, Knoxville TN, TV actress (‘Joan Holloway’ on “Mad Men” since 2007-15, “Firefly” 2002-03)/”Esquire” magazine’s ‘Sexiest Woman In the World’ (2010)
1977 [40] Eric Church, Granite Falls NC, country singer (“Springsteen”, “Drink In My Hand”)
1984 [33] Cheryl Burke, San Francisco CA, professional dancer (first 2-time champion on “Dancing With the Stars”)

•  “Wordsmith Day,  just one more excuse for miscellaneous merriment. How scintillating yet somehow egregious.
• “Two Different Colored Shoes Day” celebrate your uniqueness and put it on display on May 3rd.  Wear two different colored shoes and see where they take you.
• “Paranormal Day”, a day for all paranormal enthusiasts to get together and share their unique experiences with each other. Seminars and readings are scheduled worldwide. (Personally, I would have this on Oct. 31.  Maybe a pair o’paranormal days?)
• “Specially-Abled Pets Day”, begun in 2006 to educate the public about caring for disabled pets and to find homes for orphaned and physically-challenged animals.
• “World Press Freedom Day”, created by the UN to recognize the value of freedom of expression and the sacrifices journalists have made to attain this freedom.
• “Garden Meditation Day”, a day to let go of concerns and center full attention on a garden even if it’s just for a few minutes. Meditate about when you’re going to get around to weeding.

[Thurs] Star Wars Day
[Thurs] Orange Juice Day
[Fri] Cinco de Mayo
[Fri] Cartoonists Day
This Week Is…Privacy Week
This Month Is…World Stroke Month

2012 [05] On its opening weekend, “The Avengers” earns $200.3 million in domestic box office, overtaking “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows: Part 2” for biggest film opening of all-time

1986 [31] Dolly Parton’s “Dollywood” amusement park opens near Gatlinburg, Tennessee

1934 [83] 1st-ever ‘Comic Book’ is published, “Famous Funnies” from Dell Books

1986 [31] 54-year-old Willie Shoemaker, aboard 18-to-1 longshot Ferdinand, becomes the oldest jockey ever to win the Kentucky Derby


• Would helium make opera sound less stuffy?
• If you melt dry ice in a pool and go swimming, will you get wet?
• When cars are solar-powered, how will car chases end in the movies?
• Why is it the things most people want to know are usually none of their business?
• Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
• Do bald people ever have ‘bad head’ days’?
• Do mimes make even less sense when you can’t see them?

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn’t come back, it was never yours to begin with. But if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your stuff, takes your money, and doesn’t appear to realize that you had set it free … you either married it or gave birth to it.

What are the odds of you actually making a living as a gambler?
a. 1-in-5
b. 1-in-50
c. 1-in-5,000 [CORRECT. That’s the estimated likelihood of you regularly turning a profit.]
– “What Are the Chances?”

What are the odds of you winning the lottery in a pool where you pick 6 numbers of a possible 49?
a. 1-in-49,000
b. 1-in-14,000,000 [CORRECT.  To be specific, 1-in-13,983,816]
c. 1-in-49,000,000
– “Wonderopolis”

What is the most annoying habit that some other people have?

Question:  Nearly half of us say we’d be healthier if we did THIS.
ANSWER:  Eat dog food!

The first to apologize is the bravest.  The first to forgive is the strongest.  The first to forget is the happiest.

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