Monday, May 30, 2016 – Edition: #5741

It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

★ The Amber Heard-Johnny Depp divorce craziness has taken a serious turn: Heard went to court Friday – bruised on her face and carrying pictures showing other bruises – and got a temporary restraining order against Depp after alleging that he beat her throughout their marriage, and that one Saturday night, she was on the phone with a friend while Depp went on a rampage, striking her in the face with his iPhone. She says she yelled for her friend to call 9-1-1 after Depp took her phone, the friend did, and Depp left before police arrived.
★ Crime thriller “Get Shorty” is being adapted as a TV series. EPIX network has given a series order to an adaptation of the 1990 novel by late author Elmore Leonard. The book was famously adapted for the bigscreen in a 1995 film starring John Travolta, Danny DeVito, and Rene Russo. “Be Cool”, the 2005 sequel, saw the reunion of Travolta and DeVito alongside Uma Thurman and Vince Vaughn. The TV cast of “Get Shorty” has yet to be announced, but production is set to begin this Fall, with a premiere slated for next Summer.
★ Matthew Rhys and Keri Russell’s hit spy drama “The Americans” will end after 2 more seasons. The FX TV series, currently in its 4th season, will continue long enough to wrap up the storyline. “The Americans” follows Rhys and Russell’s married Soviet spy characters as they gather information while living in the US during the Cold War. The couple began dating in real life in 2013, following the breakdown of Russell’s marriage to Shane Deary. They’re expecting their first child together this Summer.
– “New York Times”
★ And a strange twist in the Hulk Hogan v case has emerged. It seems that bizarro billionaire Peter Thiel – a co-founder of PayPal – has been secretly bankrolling Hogan’s long-running legal case to the tune of roughly $10 million. Why? It’s an attempt to crush Gawker as revenge for outing Thiel as gay against his wishes in 2007 and for publishing unsavory things about his Silicon Valley friends. Hogan eventually won a $140-million judgement that could bankrupt the media company. Thiel says his backing is “less about revenge and more about specific deterrence”. Right, nice payback.

• “The Bachelorette” (ABC) – The first group date takes place at a firefighting training facility.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Swedish singer Zara Larsson w/Brit singer MNEK (“Never Forget You”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Brandi Carlile (“The Firewatcher’s Daughter”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Coldplay (“A Head Full Of Dreams”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Mariah Carey (“#1 to Infinity”).
• “Roots” (A&E/History/Lifetime) – Mini-series premiere. It’s been nearly 4 decades since the original series became one of the most successful in TV history. Now, there is a new version, starring Forest Whitaker, Anna Paquin, Laurence Fishburne, and Jonathan Rhys Meyers among others. It airs on 4 consecutive nights, 2 hours per night.
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – In the Season 13 premiere young dancers perform for the judges.
• “Stanley Cup Finals” (CBC/NBC) – Pittsburgh Penguins host San Jose Sharks in Game 1.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Fifth Harmony (“7/27”).

• Backstreet Boy – Nick Carter has a new son called ‘Odin’. After the one-eyed, Norse god of death and war.
• Blake Shelton – He’s bought up his ex Miranda Lambert’s closed up shop in Tishomingo, Oklahoma. Hours after it was revealed the Pink Pistol Boutique would be closing afer 4 years of operation, Shelton acquired the property with – quote – “a plan brewing”.
• DNCE – The title of Joe Jonas’ “Cake By the Ocean” came from his Swedish producers, Mattman & Robin, misunderstanding the name of the cocktail “Sex On the Beach”.
• Kasabian – They once were paid £300,000 to write an exclusive song for the UK’s Premier League. The tune they handed in was so bad the media company in charge turned it down and settled for using one of their already-released hits instead. The band still got to the money.
• Mary J Blige – She’s joined the cast of “Mudbound”, a bigscreen adaptation of author Hillary Jordan’s award-winning novel. The story centers on 2 African-American soldiers who return home after fighting in WW2 only to find out they must now fight to survive as farmers in rural Mississippi.

The museum specifically dedicated to Bordeaux wine, “La Cité du Vin”, is opening this week in conjunction with that city’s 10th annual “Bordeaux Wine Festival”. The $92 million+ museum has an elegant exterior resembling a decanter. Inside, visitors can tour 20 different themed areas exploring the history and impact of wine. It culminates in a 360-degree view of the city with a chandelier made of thousands of bottles. The project was conceived in 2009 to capitalize on the increasing tourist traffic to the wine-centric location. And, of course, what would a wine tour be without a sample or two? If you have kids, they get to swish grape juice. (A wine museum in France is about 5 centuries overdue.)

Basketball, more than any other major sport, is a family affair. In fact, 49% of NBA players are directly related to an ‘elite athlete’, who’s played a sport professionally, in the NCAA, or for a national team. That compare to 17.5% among NFL players and 14.5% for pro baseball players. On the Golden State Warriors alone, Steph Curry’s father and brother made it to the NBA, as did Klay Thompson’s father and 2 of Brandon Rush’s brothers. Some possible explanations include physical gifts – jumping ability, arm length, etc – passed along genetically. Growing up around the game also probably doesn’t hurt. Realistically, though, it likely comes down to height. (Odds are if you’re 7-feet-tall, your dad isn’t Tom Cruise.)
– “Wall Street Journal”

A new ranking by the AECOM Index based on total patrons in 2015 …
1. Disney World’s Magic Kingdom, Florida, 20.5 million visitors
2. Disneyland, California, 18.3 million
3. Tokyo Disneyland, 16.6 million
4. Universal Studios Japan, Tokyo, 13.9 million
5. Tokyo Disney Sea, 13.6 million
6. Disney World’s Epcot, Florida, 11.8 million
7. Disney World’s Animal Kingdom, Florida, 10.9 million
8. Disney World’s Hollywood Studios, Florida, 10.8 million
9. Disneyland Park at Disneyland Paris, 10.4 million
10. Universal Studios at Universal Orlando, 9.9 million
(Note to self: Buy more Disney stock.)

Internet users are constantly warned against using passwords that can be easily guessed, and still, every year the same passwords appear on “worst passwords” lists. So now Microsoft is moving beyond warnings and suggestions to completely banning the most commonly used. By identifying which common passwords most hackers are using to get in, Microsoft hopes to be one step ahead of the security problem. Over the next couple of months, users with Microsoft accounts that have weak passwords like ‘123456’, ‘abcdefg’, ‘monkey’, or the ultimately lazy password – ‘password’ – will be prompted at sign-in to choose a better one. (Passwords are about to go away anyhow … next, hackers will be stealing your thumbs and eyeballs.)

• ‘Iron Man’ – Marvel Comics pioneer Stan Lee modeled him after eccentric millionaire Howard Hughes, an inventor, adventurer, ladies’ man, and finally … a nutcase. Robert Downey Jr based his initial movie portrayal in 2008 on Elon Musk, of PayPal, Tesla, and SpaceX fame.
• ‘Wonder Woman’ – Comic book writer William Moulton Marston modeled her on his wife, Elizabeth Holloway Marston, whom he believed was the epitome of modern feminism … in 1940. He also based the character on Olive Byrne, who lived with the married couple in a polyamorous relationship. Like ‘Wonder Woman’, Byrne always wore silver bracelets.
• ‘Superman’ – In 1934, artist Joe Shuster & comic book writer Jerry Siegel based the iconic superhero’s stance and physique on movie star Douglas Fairbanks. His alter ego, ‘Clark Kent’, was named after movie actors CLARK Gable and KENT Taylor.
– Thanks to Rudie Obias

• Don’t Use a Gas Grill – The smoke from a charcoal grill is an ingredient in itself. Without it, you get the heat, but you’re missing out on the nuanced flavor.
• Use Wood from Fruit Trees for Extra Flavor – Fruit woods are mild in flavor and high in sap, and generally have fewer impurities. Choose from apple or cherry, even peach and grape.
• Soak Wood Chips Before Cooking – Put chips in water for at least an hour or, even better, overnight before draining them. Then wrap them in aluminum foil and put them in your grill.
• Proper Air Circulation is Key – Meat shouldn’t touch anything other than the surface it’s sitting on while it’s cooking. It needs to have space around it for airflow.
• Soak Wooden Skewers – If kebabs are on your Summer menu, make sure to soak them in cold water for at least 30 minutes before use to keep them from burning.
• If You’re Always Looking, It Ain’t Cooking – The proper technique for cooking barbecue can be summed up with 3 words … low and slow. Cook at low temp and be patient.
• No Poking! – Don’t make holes in your meat with a fork while it’s cooking. Instead, use barbecue tongs or spatulas to turn meat.
• Let Meat Sit Before Eating – Allowing it to ‘rest’ a few minutes seals in the juices and keeps the meat from drying out.
• Keep Equipment Clean – Obviously that means cleaning it regularly. Also after it’s been out of use for a while, ignite it and close the cover to burn off any rancid grease or mold.
– Adapted from

• British artists (aka Adele) accounted for 1-in-every-6 albums sold worldwide last year.
– BBC News
• So far in 2016, 256 people have bought the 1957 recording “Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport” by Rolf Harris. And 171 people have bought 1973’s “Do You Wanna Touch Me” by convicted pedophile Gary Glitter.


1964 [52] Wynonna Judd (Christina Ciminella), Ashland KY, country singer (“To Be Loved By You”, The Judds-“Love Can Build a Bridge”)

1964 [52] Tom Morello, Harlem NY, rock guitarist (Prophets of Rage, debuting at the Hollywood Palladium on June 3rd; Rage Against the Machine-“Guerrilla Radio”; Audioslave-“Doesn’t Remind Me”)/aka The Nightwatchman (“One Man Revolution”)

1971 [45] Idina Menzel, Syosset NY, Broadway actress (“Rent”, “Wicked”)/movie actress (‘Queen Elsa’ in “Frozen”)/pop singer (“Let It Go”)

1975 [41] Cee-Lo Green (Thomas Callaway), Atlanta GA, TV personality (“The Voice” 2011-14)/rapper-vocalist-songwriter-producer (“Forget You”, Gnarls Barkley-“Crazy”)

• “Memorial Day” in America, a day of remembrance for those who have died in the nation’s service. It was originally called “Decoration Day” in 1868 when General John Logan declared a day to decorate Civil War soldiers’ graves with flowers at Gettysburg PA. (Nowadays its more often observed as ‘Beach Day’ or BBQ Day’.)

• “Mint Julep Day”, celebrating the delicious and refreshing Summer cocktail made with bourbon whiskey, mint, water, and sugar. Sounds best if you order one using a Southern accent.

• “Water a Flower Day”, because nourishing a little bit of natural beauty might be the only truly worthwhile thing you do all day.

2008 [08] “Sex & The City: The Movie” opens in theaters

2014 [02] “Maleficent”, starring Angelina Jolie as the villainess from “Sleeping Beauty”, debuts in movie theaters

2015 [01] Enrique Iglesias slices his fingers open while trying to grab a drone camera taking pictures of the audience at his concert in Tijuana, Mexico

1911 [105] 1st “Indianapolis 500” auto race (Ray Harroun wins, averaging 74.59 mph)

1979 [37] Ted Coombs begins a successful 5,193-mile roller-skate from LA to NYC

[Tues] World No-Tobacco Day
[Tues] Macaroon Day
[Tues] Save Your Hearing Day
This Week Is … Week of Solidarity With People of Non-Self-Governing Territories
This Month Is … Better Hearing Month


Highlight bits culled from 23 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• “The guy was all over the road, so I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.”
• “I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.”
• “I was on the way to my doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have the accident.”
• “I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.”
• “In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into the telephone pole.”
• “Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.”
– First published in “BS” 1996.

Different morning routines and different activity levels affect individual breakfast needs. Here are some of the best breakfast foods for each lifestyle …
• The Busy Multi-Tasker – Your mornings are all about juggling the needs of kids, car-pool, work prep, and getting out the door with your sanity intact. Go-go-go morning rushers should make protein, fruit, and fiber their mantra.
• The Slow Starter – You find it difficult to wake up alert and refreshed, and your mornings (and desk job) are more sedentary than you’d like. For a sedentary lifestyle, just the essential carbs are needed: a little fruit and one serving of grains to go along with protein-rich food.
• The Morning Athlete – You’re raring to get out the door at the crack of dawn for a heart-pumping workout. You may not feel much like eating before you head out but if you’re training hard you definitely need to gulp down some pre-workout carbs.
– First published in “BS” 2011.

☎ What’s the best riddle you’ve ever heard?

The speaker at a European Union conference asks, “Can you see me?” The answer: “Yes”, “Oui”, “Si”, “Ja”.

Question: The sight of THIS makes about 1-in-3 women cry.
Answer: Their first wrinkle.

The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.

Don Simmons @ WACW Wilmore KY; Youri van der Geest @ Campus Radio Amsterdam, The Netherlands; Steve Rouse @ Q1370 [WQLL] Baltimore MD; Chris W @ 91.5 The Beat [CKBT] Kitchener-Waterloo ON; Zachary Shea @ AFN Bahrain 106.3 Manama, Bahrain; and Tyler Cooper @ Hot 96 [WSTO] Owensboro KY.

Monthly Planning Calendar in Tomorrow’s BS!

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