Monday, May 4, 2015        Edition: #5443

Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!

★ Huzzah! Britain’s royal baby has been born. The new royal princess was welcomed to the world Saturday morning at 8:34 BST. Proud dad Prince William and 2nd-time mom Kate showed off their 8 lb-3 oz daughter on the steps of St Mary’s Hospital in front of the world’s media just 10 hours after she was born. Catherine’s sister, Pippa Middleton, is bookmakers’ favorite to be godmother (4:1 odds); William’s pals Fergus Boyd and Hugh Van Cutsem are the faves to be godfather (5:1). Will’s brother Prince Harry has odds of 6:1.
– Bang Showbiz / “Daily Mirror”
★ Beyoncé & Jay Z, Ben Affleck, Denzel Washington, 50 Cent, Jake Gyllenhaal, Jimmy Kimmel, Justin Bieber, and Nicki Minaj were among fans who watched Floyd Mayweather defeat Manny Pacquiao in the richest-ever boxing match Saturday night at the MGM Grand Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas NV. Mayweather was proclaimed winner of the ‘Fight Of the Century’ by unanimous decision. But observers say it’s not over yet … the mega-money these two managed to generate (estimated at $300 million) means a rematch is a given.
★ Acting couple Chris Pratt (“Guardians Of the Galaxy”) & Anna Faris (“Mom”) want to quit Hollywood to lead a ‘normal’ life with their 2-year-old son Jack. After achieving their financial goals they say they’ll leave acting in favor of other pursuits like writing or painting. Until then the couple, who wed in Bali in 2009, plan to keep working hard. Chris  won’t disclose how much moolah they want to accumulate but does say: ”I don’t think we are the kind of people who need to be in a $50-million house; Jack needs to be in yelling distance.”
– “Glamour”
★ And is there any celebrity more vacuous than Khloe Kardashian? Her tweets this past week have included the insightful observation … “Sweat is fat crying!!”

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Mikal Cronin (“MCIII”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – Viewer voting determines each couple’s first dance.
• “David Letterman: A Life on Television” (CBS) – Celebrating the late night host’s more than 3 decades in the business; Ray Romano hosts. (Letterman retires May 20th.)
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Another Monday mash-up: ‘Imagine REO SpeedDragons’, featuring Imagine Dragons and REO Speedwagon.
• “Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck” (HBO) – TV premiere of the story of late Nirvana frontman Cobain, directed by Brett Morgen. Appearances by Courtney Love, Dave Grohl, and Krist Novoselic. Cobain’s daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, is the documentary’s executive producer.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Indie pop singer Genevieve (“Show Your Colors”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/Omni 1) – Gavin James (“Live at Whelans”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Avett Bros (“Magpie & The Dandelion”); Brandi Carlile (“The Firewatcher’s Daughter”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Harry Connick Jr (“Every Man Should Know”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The top 6 contestants perform for the coaches.

• BB King – The 89-year-old blues legend is now under hospice care at his Las Vegas home, according to a message on his official website. He returned there Friday after brief hospitalization Thursday, his 2nd hospital stay in less than a month.
• Eric Church – After announcing a rare solo performance to open Nashville TN’s new Ascend Amphitheater, he’s now added a 2nd show since tickets were SRO in less than 5 minutes. A July 31st gig is now scheduled to follow the original July 30th booking.
• The Killers – Frontman Brandon Flowers might be about to release a solo album (“The Desired Effect”, out May 19th) but he says his main band will still be making more new music. He admits, however, they may “need a little kick in the pants” to get at it.
• Little Big Town – They’re atop the ‘Billboard Hot Country Songs’ chart with “Girl Crush” this week, knocking off Sam Hunt’s “Take Your Time”.
• Mark Ronson/f Bruno Mars – “Uptown Funk” now has a total of 11 songwriters credited with its creation. The 5 writers of The Gap Band’s 1979 single “Oops Upside Your Head” are now part of the song’s credits. At least there’s lots of money to go around … at one point the hit that seemingly will not die was earning $100,000 in royalties … per week.
• Miranda Lambert – This Fall she’s resurrecting her “Roadside Bars & Pink Guitars Tour”. Joining Miranda for the ‘girl’s night out’ series will be Ashley Monroe, Clare Dunn, Courtney Cole, and RaeLynn. Lambert mounted a similar tour earlier in her career.
• Mumford & Sons – Today their 3rd album, “Wilder Mind”, is released, which “The Guardian” notes is ‘de-folked and rocking’ as the frantically-strummed banjo is gone, as is the plonk of the double bass and the wheeze of their accordion.
• Of Monsters & Men – The Icelandic quintet embarks on a world tour tonight with an SRO show in Toronto ON. They play a slew of North American markets, then a European leg this Summer. They’ve set a June 9th release date for their 2nd full-length album, “Beneath the Skin”.
• U2 – In a new interview in “NY Times”, Bono says he’s still healing from his bike crash last year. Most of his remaining injuries are in his left hand and forearm, and he still can’t play guitar. U2’s worldwide “Innocence + Experience Tour” begins in Vancouver BC on May 14th.
• Vance Joy – The Australian singer-songwriter has won the International Songwriting Competition for his hit “Riptide”. The competition received over 18,000 entries from 118 countries and the winner was chosen by a panel that included Avicii, Bastille, Sarah McLachlin.
• The Who – Speculation has it they’re part of the closing act for this year’s Glastonbury Festival in Britain June 24-28. Foo Fighters and Kanye West have already been announced as headliners but the Sunday finalé remains a mystery. Organizer Michael Eavis gave a hint last month: “It is going to be 2 British bands … joining forces.”

A new study claims that children who get stuck sitting in the middle seat on long road trips are more likely to grow up to be rich and successful. The middle seat in the back of a family car is often lamented as having less leg room, nothing to lean on, and an obstructed view. But a new UK study of adults with 2 or more siblings has found that 90% of corporate directors, 74% of those who run their own businesses, and 62% of those in senior management suffered middle seat misery as kids. What did they gain from their time in the center seat? Among the traits they attribute to the experience are an easy-going personality, adaptability, consideration, and patience. (Most are also extremely adept at using their elbows.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

✗ Performing the chest bump. Sporting celebration should be proportional to the peril faced in the pursuit of victory. If your game involves an underhand toss, dial it down, champ.
✗ Buying all the equipment after 2 lessons. Holster that credit card until you’re certain the novelty of flyfishing, snowboarding, or competitive birdwatching won’t wear off.
✗ Being overpolite. Social pleasantries should be dispensed with grace. Saying ‘bless you’ after each of 9 successive sneezes makes you an automaton, not a gentleman.
✗ Writing a love poem in the first 3 weeks of dating. Her hair might indeed remind you of the first new morning rays of sun. But those may fade, and there’s no reason to leave a paper trail.
✗ Sending an angry email. Along with drunk-dialing your ex and drinking appletinis, this one fits in the category of things you will always, without fail, regret.
✗ Overvaluing your obscure knowledge. Just because you understand the intricacies of the global currency market doesn’t mean you should share them at every opportunity.
✗ Flipping the bird. There’s no better way to make sure you meet the recipient of your gesture at the next stoplight.
✗ Tapping the brakes. Avoid reckless drivers, don’t antagonize them. Let him pass, then watch him get pulled over.
✗ Talking between bathroom stalls. No matter is so pressing that it needs to be discussed with your pants down.
✗ Obsessing over your fantasy team. If you’re really that much into a sport, play coach in a way that actually matters … teach a kid to love the nuances of the game as much as you do.
– Adapted from

According to Harvard Business School researchers, ‘humblebragging’ – that noxious blend of whining and boasting – doesn’t successfully get your intended message across. In fact, it seems you’re better off just regular-bragging. When exposed to people making a range of statements about themselves, the study’s survey respondents said they can stomach ‘complainers’ most; then ‘braggers’; and lastly, ‘humblebraggers’. The participants also rate complainers as most sincere and humblebraggers as least, which gets at one reason humblebragging is so obnoxious … it comes across as fake. (Worst humbebrag you’ve been tweeted? “I just dashed off something quick and still won the short story contest. As if.”)

• Printing out the entire Internet (not even including the so-called ‘dark web’) would require about 8 million trees.
– “Metro”
• Tattoos can cause Apple’s new smartwatch to malfunction, as the ink interferes with the device’s sensor.
– “Smithsonian Magazine”


1951 [64] Mick Mars (Robert Deal), Huntington IN, rock guitarist (Motley Crue-“If I Die Tomorrow”, “Dr Feelgood”)

1956 [59] Sharon Jones, Augusta GA, R&B/soul singer (Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings-“Give the People What They Want”)

1959 [56] Randy Travis (Traywick), Marshville NC, country singer (“I Told You So”, “Forever & Ever Amen”)

1970 [45] Will Arnett, Toronto ON, TV actor (“Arrested Development” 2003-06, 2013)/voice actor (“The Lego Movie”, “Despicable Me”)  COMING UP: “The Lego Batman Movie” (2017).

1972 [43] Mike Dirnt (Pritchard), Rodeo CA, rock bassist (Green Day-“Boulevard Of Broken Dreams”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2015

1979 [36] Lance Bass, Laurel MS, former boy-band star (*NSYNC-“It’s Gonna Be Me”)

1986 [29] Nate Novarro, Newnan GA, pop-rock drummer (Cobra Starship f/Sabi-“You Make Me Feel…”, f/Leighton Meester-“Good Girls Go Bad”)

• “Intergalactic Star Wars Day”, an unofficial holiday which celebrates the “Star Wars” franchise created by George Lucas. Why today? The date was chosen for the painful pun: “May the 4th be with you” (ouch!).

• “International Firefighters’ Day”, to recognize the efforts of those brave hearts who risk their lives to keep us safe. (And what women consistently pick in polls as ‘Sexiest Profession’.)

• “Melanoma Monday”, a highlight of “Melanoma/Skin Cancer Detection & Prevention Month”, designed to raise awareness about melanoma and encourage us to begin a lifelong habit of regular skin self-examination.

• “Petite & Proud Day”, for all people under 5′-4″ who are tired of derogatory comments about their size. It’s all about celebrating your lack of height and the advantages it brings. Famous names 5′-4″ and under include: Amy Poehler, Eva Longoria, Natalie Portman, Michael J Fox, Reese Witherspoon.

• “Relationship Renewal Day”, a day to forget the old problems and celebrate the relationship making it through yet another year. Couples are encouraged to congratulate one another … and each other.

• “Respect For Chickens Day”, promoting compassionate and respectful treatment of domestic fowl. Advocacy group United Poultry Concerns argues that we should celebrate the beauty and dignity of chickens and protest the bleakness of their lives in farming operations.

2012 [03] “Marvel’s The Avengers” opens in movie theaters (worldwide box office eventually totals over $1.5 billion)

2012 [03] Adam Yauch, the gravelly-voiced rapper who helped make the Beastie Boys one of the seminal groups in hip-hop, dies in NYC of cancer at age 47

[Tues] Cartoonists Day
[Tues] Cinco de Mayo
[Tues] International Midwives Day
[Wed] Mariah Carey Vegas residency begins
[Wed] Bike to School Day
[Wed] No Homework Day
[Wed] World Asthma Day
[Thurs] Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy

Anxiety & Depression Awareness Week / Be Kind to Animals Week / Children’s Book Week / Children’s Mental Health Week / Choose Privacy Week / Correctional Officers Week / Drinking Water Week / Flexible Work Arrangement Week / Goodwill Industries Week / Pet Week / Post Card Week / Public Service Recognition Week / Screen-Free Week / Small Business Week / Teacher Appreciation Week / Tourism Week / Wildflower Week


Highlight bits culled from 22 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• Why do tourists travel 2,000 mi/kms just to get their picture taken beside their car?
• If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
• If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
• If a pizza joint only sells slices, is there a guy in the back tossing triangles in the air?
• Howz come you see an awful lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy?
– First published in “BS” 2001.

People who drive BMWs are a breed (maybe an entire species) apart. Annoying things they do …
• Never slow down to let you merge; always speed up so you can’t pass.
• When parking on the street, laboriously take time to put a cover on their car.
• Incapable of giving either the “I’m sorry” wave or the “thank-you” nod.
• Park on an angle to take up 2 spaces in a parking spot because their paint-job is more important than your convenience.
• Speed up in the right lane to tailgate a semi, then cut over into the left lane nearly causing an accident.
• Never ever just say ‘my car’, always must qualify their ride as ‘my BMW’.
• Inexplicable desire to blast stereo and sing along with the Dave Matthews Band.
– First published in “BS” 2012.

☎ They’re bringing back the old TV show “Coach”, which means anything from the ’90s could potentially be resurrected. Which reboot would you like to see? Which would you loathe?

I was more nervous than a ceiling fan store-owner with a comb-over …

Question: About 300 million of THESE have sold since 1974.
Answer: Odor Eaters.

If you think there is good in everybody then you obviously haven’t met everybody.

Autumn Kozer @ Water Country [WCMS] Nags Head NC; Lasse Roldkjaer @ Mix Megapol, Stockholm, Sweden; Bill Davey @ Z97.1 [WRZT] Kalamazoo MI.

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