Thursday, May 4, 2017        Edition: #5967

Ah, Some BS You Look Forward To In the Morning!

★ While rumors continue to swirl of an ‘American Idol’ return, the next question might be “Who will host?”  It has surfaced that ABC has made an offer to purchase the show, and even inquired about Ryan Seacrest’s availability.  But as we know, he has a new job as co-host of “Live With Kelly and Ryan”.  The network even apparently asked about the possibility of moving the show to New York to accommodate Seacrest’s new gig, but that turned out to be a no-go. If the A.I. machine revs up again, it will be shot in L.A.
(Ryan wouldn’t try to do two shows at opposite ends of the country…would he?)
★ Amy Schumer would like to have kids.  The 35-year-old actress is currently in a relationship with furniture designer Ben Hanisch, and has said that while her ”uterus remains empty” for now, she would be open to the idea of having children in the future as she’s ”sick” of thinking about herself.
-Contact Music
★ Halle Berry has signed on for VH1’s Mother’s Day show. The Oscar-winning actress will honor a mother from the non-profit domestic violence organization, the Jenesse Center, at “Dear Mama: An Event To Honor Moms.” VH1 says the second annual edition of the show will air on May 8 and include stars paying tribute to their mothers. Other scheduled guests include Mary J. Blige, Ludacris, Kelly Rowland, Robin Thicke, Maxwell and DJ Khaled.  `Blackish” star Anthony Anderson will host alongside former MTV VJ La La Anthony.
★ Ryan Reynolds earned some serious husband points this week when he praised his wife Blake Lively,  saying that she made him a “more empathetic person”. The couple attended the annual Met Gala in New York City. Reynolds on Lively: “She always responds with empathy. She meets anger with empathy. She meets hate with empathy.  She’ll take the time to imagine what happened to a person when they were five or six years old. And she’s made me a more empathetic person.” The lovey-dovey couple have been married for five years have two children.
-US Magazine
★ Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell will be honored with the 2,609th and 2,610th stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this morning.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global):  Kristen Bell, Charlie Hunnam, Alison Krauss
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV):  Chris Pine, Fran Lebowitz, Halsey, Joey DeFrancesco
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Charles Barkley, Debra Winger
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Wanda Sykes, Chris Gethard, Devin Dawson, Josh Dion
• “Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jennifer Lopez, Terry Crews, Justin Theroux, Green Day
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy):  Alec Baldwin, Al Madrigal, Joe List
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo):  Zoe Saldana, Beth Behrs
• “The View” (ABC/CTV):  Day of Hot Topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): Michael Weatherly
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV):  Richard Gere, Lana Parilla, Prince Royce
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV):  Matt Lauer
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX):  Chris Rock, Jackie Miranne


• Little Big Town – have created a line of home products inspired by their song ‘Boondocks’.  It includes clothing, drinkware, stationary and jewelry, with more to come.  Available on the Opry website.
• Eagles – are suing ‘Hotel California Todos Santos’ in Mexico, saying it advertises itself as “Hotel California”, to trick consumers into believing it’s associated with the Eagles. They also brand their merchandise as the legendary hotel referred to in the 1976 hit song.  The REAL Hotel California on the cover?  The Beverly Hills Hotel.
• Prince – his estate wants to get into the reality show biz, and that’s why it went to war to shut down the release of a new album on the anniversary of his death.  The reality show, featuring family members, is supposedly in the works right now, and will focus on how their lives have changed since he died.  And the plan is to debut the new music on the show.
• Arcade Fire – Regine Chassagne and Win Butler are being recognized by Quebec’s government for their roles as cultural ambassadors for the province.  The vocalists are among 18 honourees set to receive this year’s Companion of Quebec’s ‘Order of Arts and Letters’ for “outstanding contributions to the diversity and vitality of Quebec culture.”
• Janet Jackson – she has announced her return to the road in September, 18 months after the postponement of her ‘Unbreakable’ tour.  What you might NOT know is that she is reportedly planning on taking her son (Eissa Al Mana, born Jan. 3) on tour with her,  and will bring her brother Randy along to help care for the tot on the road.
• Sammy Hagar – and his supergroup The Circle will be hitting the road for a U.S. tour this September, with openers Collective Soul.  The band also features his former Van Halen bandmate Michael Anthony on bass, drummer Jason Bonham and guitarist Vic Johnson.
• Drake – ‘liked’ a social media post which highlighted the fact that rival Kendrick Lamar’s latest release ‘DAMN’ outsold Drake’s ‘More Life’ in its first week. Instead of igniting a new rap rivalry, Drake liked the post and commented, “Amazing to see our music moving!!!”
• Niall Horan – The former One Direction star releases a new single, “Slow Hands,” today. It is the second solo track released from the boy band star, following the release of “This Town” late last year.

A BS Selection of movies in the making:
• “Absolutely Anything” – The British comedy featuring Robin Williams’ final screen performance will finally see the light of day in North America.  It is set for release on May 12, nine months after it opened in the U.K.   Absolutely Anything stars Simon Pegg as an ordinary bloke who is granted the power to do anything he wishes by a group of aliens evaluating Earth. Kate Beckinsale plays Pegg’s love interest, and Williams voices his cheeky dog.
• “Untitled Doc Holliday Movie” – Jeremy Renner is taking aim at legendary gunfighter John Henry “Doc” Holliday in a movie described as ‘chronicling Doc Holliday’s incredible transformation from average Joe dentist to a man who Wyatt Earp called the ‘nerviest, speediest, deadliest man with a six-gun [he] ever knew.”
• “The Week Of” – Adam Sandler and Chris Rock will star in this Netflix Original, set to begin production in Long Island, New York, this summer.  Rock and Sandler last starred together in the ‘Grown Ups’ films and will play fathers in the run-up to their children’s marriage.  The Week Of marks the fourth film in Happy Madison Productions’ original deal with Netflix that was extended recently to include an additional four features.
• “Breaking Habits” – a feature documentary about a commune of nuns who run an illegal cannabis farm in the US.  The collective, called the Sisters of the Valley, operate their business in Merced, California. They were founded by former financial worker Sister Kate, who quit the business and became an activist, adopting the nun persona after dressing in a habit for the 2011 ‘Occupy Wall Street’ protest.

In the past few weeks, your Facebook feed may have turned up a bunch of friends’ listings of ‘10 Concerts that I’ve been to’.  The concept is fun enough.  They list 9 actual shows that they have attended, and one that they have not.  Your job is to guess the one.  Aside from the fact that it is a bit of a ‘humble-brag’ and a lot more fun for the post-er than the post-ee, now computer security experts are saying that by posting or even reading these posts, you could be setting yourself up to be hacked.  For one thing, a common security question is to name the first concert that you attended.  So if you share that info on social media, you could be revealing some crucial information to those who attempt to break in to online accounts.
(Are we grasping at straws just a bit here?)
(More than likely, the biggest risk is that your feed gets clogged up with these silly things)
(Frankly, no one cares whether or not you have ever seen Jimmy Buffett.  Including Jimmy Buffett.)

Today is ‘Intergalactic Star Wars Day’.  Nerds and civilians alike will again be busting out their Star Wars tapes and DVDs, special editions or original recipe, and rewatching the eight previous films to get jacked up for The Last Jedi (in theaters Dec. 15), the ninth chapter in this galactic saga.  Here are the films so far, in order.  May the Fourth be with you:
8. Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace (1999): Basically is a two-hour trailer for the rest of Anakin Skywalker’s story.  Darth Maul is the coolest guy in the movie and he is in it for all of three minutes.
7. Star Wars: Episode II — Attack of the Clones (2002): There are so many sleek special effects that you miss the trash heaps and spit-and-gum filmmaking of Lucas’ original movies. Also, Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman have ZERO chemistry.
6. Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith (2005): It’s no coincidence that the prequel that’s closest to the original trilogy in tone, story and theme is the best one.
5. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016): For its maiden standalone voyage, Star Wars brass blended the old — the Rebel Alliance freaking out about the construction of the Empire’s mighty Death Star — with something new: A war movie digging into the battlefields on land and in space with insurgents rising up against “the Man.” The results are a mixed bag.
4. Return of the Jedi (1983): Check yourself for a pulse if you’re not getting the chills after Vader tosses the Emperor down a shaft or when he says “Let me look on you with my own eyes” to Luke before dying. A perfect ending.
3. Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015): the best characters since fans first laid eyes on Han, Luke and Leia. Arguably the best final shot ever in a Star Wars film.
2. Star Wars (1977): The original remains the real deal mostly because of all the great character moments.  We quickly fall in love with all these players as they begin a long journey that is still going.
1. Empire Strikes Back (1980): Simply the best. The Imperial Walkers that are arguably the coolest things that have ever stomped across a movie screen. Yet there is so much greatness to Empire: (spoiler alert!) Vader’s reveal to Luke about being the kid’s father is an all-time truth bomb. It’s the chapter that takes a cool sci-fi fairy tale and sends it on its way to being a masterwork of storytelling.
(Great.  There goes the weekend!)
-USA Today

• Domestic cats purr at about 26 cycles per second, the same frequency as an idling diesel engine.
• Instead of scales, sharks have small tooth-like spikes called denticles. The spikes are so sharp that shark skin has long been used as sandpaper.
• Animals also are either right-handed or left-handed. Polar bears are left-handed – and so is Kermit the Frog.
• There are 701 types of pure breed dogs.
• The heart of a blue whale is the size of a small car.
• The tongue of a blue whale is as long as an elephant.


1951 [66] Mick Mars (Robert Deal), Huntington IN, rock guitarist (Motley Crue-”Home Sweet Home”, “Dr Feelgood”)
1956 [61] Sharon Jones, Augusta GA, R&B/soul singer (Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings-”Give the People What They Want”)
1959 [58] Randy Travis (Traywick), Marshville NC, country singer (“Diggin’ Up Bones” , “Forever & Ever Amen”)
1970 [47] Will Arnett, Toronto ON, TV actor (“Arrested Development” 2003-06, 2013)/voice actor (“The Lego Movie”, “Despicable Me”)
1972 [45] Mike Dirnt (Pritchard), Rodeo CA, rock bassist (Green Day-”Boulevard Of Broken Dreams”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2015
1978 [39] Erin Andrews, Lewston, ME, Sportscaster (Fox Sports, season 10 contestant on “Dancing With the Stars”, host 2014-present)
1979 [38] Lance Bass, Laurel MS, former boy-band star (‘NSYNC-”It’s Gonna Be Me”)

• “Intergalactic Star Wars Day”, an unofficial holiday which celebrates the “Star Wars” franchise created by George Lucas. Why today? The date was chosen for the painful pun: “May the 4th be with you” (ouch!).

• “International Firefighters’ Day”, to recognize the efforts of those brave hearts who risk their lives to keep us safe. (And what women consistently pick in polls as ‘Sexiest Profession’.)

• “Petite & Proud Day”, for all people under 5 -4″ who are tired of derogatory comments about their size. It’s all about celebrating your lack of height and the advantages it brings. Famous names 5 -4″ and under include: Amy Poehler, Eva Longoria, Natalie Portman, Michael J Fox, Reese Witherspoon.

• “Relationship Renewal Day”, a day to forget the old problems and celebrate the relationship making it through yet another year. Couples are encouraged to congratulate one another … and each other.

• “Respect For Chickens Day”, promoting compassionate and respectful treatment of domestic fowl. Advocacy group United Poultry Concerns argues that we should celebrate the beauty and dignity of chickens and protest the bleakness of their lives in farming operations.

• “National Orange Juice Day”, When someone mentions vitamin C, you probably picture a glass of orange juice. Orange juice has more nutrients than virtually any other fruit juice. If you want the maximum vitamins per serving, drink orange juice with the pulp in it!  If you don’t, have a screwdriver!

2012 [05] “Marvel’s The Avengers” opens in movie theaters (worldwide box office eventually totals over $1.5 billion)

2012 [05] Adam Yauch, the gravelly-voiced rapper who helped make the Beastie Boys one of the seminal groups in hip-hop, dies in NYC of cancer at age 47

[Fri] Cinco de Mayo
[Fri] Cartoonists Day
[Fri] International Midwives Day
[Sat] Beer Pong Day
[Sat] Join Hands Day

Barbecue Month/Bike Month/Blood Pressure Month/Photograph Month/Salad Month/Salsa Month/Vinegar Month



You enjoy watching Big Bang Theory way more than the casual viewer.
You try to use the Force on automatic paper towel dispensers.
You think ‘The Phantom Menace” is a cinematic Tour de Force.
You have the original version of Star Wars on VHS. And laser disk. And DVD. And Blu Ray.
Your favourite episode of Friends is The one with the Princess Leia Fantasy.
You knew about the existence of the Holiday Special before the internet was invented.
You still have your Star Wars bed sheets and pillows. On your bed.
Think it’s funny to speak like Yoda, you do.
Five Words: Your Wedding.  Imperial Death March.

☎ They’re bringing back “Roseanne”. Which TV reboot would you like to see? Which would you loathe?

My dad said I’d never amount to anything.  Lucky guess.

Question:  According to a survey of newlyweds, 60% had one of these at their wedding, but only half of the spouses knew about it.
Answer: An ex!

You don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.

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