Friday, May 6, 2011
Thanks to You This is Edition #4500!

Nearly 30 years after their 1982 marriage and subsequent divorce 3 years later, 51-year-old Marie Osmond & 54-year-old former basketball player Stephen Craig have wed for a 2nd time in Las Vegas this week (true love waits) . . . Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon have announced their twin babes are named ‘Monroe’, after Marilyn Monroe; and ‘Moroccan’, after the ‘decor style of the top level of Mariah’s NYC apartment where Nick proposed’ (we kid you not) . . . “Glee: The Movie” is coming to theaters this August, a 3-D concert film which will be shot during the upcoming “Glee Live” tour (overkill?) . . . CBS-TV has now pulled its offer to produce a syndicated talk show for outgoing “CBS Evening News” anchor Katie Couric and she’s now considering a deal at ABC-TV (outside of another music competition, last thing TV needs is another talk show) . . . A publicist for David Hasselhoff’s ex-wife Pamela Bach has slammed Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband Prince Frederic Von Anhalt for suggesting she has offered to be the surrogate for his child (no wonder he’s known in the biz as ‘Von A-hole’) . . . “Pirates Of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” doesn’t hit theaters until May 20th but screenwriter Terry Rossio has already turned in a script for a planned 5th installment to Disney’s most lucrative film franchise (so far, Johnny Depp isn’t saying no) . . . Thanks to the squad’s successful hit on Osama bin Laden, the new book “SEAL Team Six: Memoirs Of an Elite Navy SEAL Sniper” is being rushed into bookstores this week ahead of its originally scheduled May 24th publication date (strike while the body’s still wet!) . . . 32-year-old actress Jennifer Love Hewitt has broken up with her boyfriend of nearly a year, Alex Beh (was he scared off by her telling Ellen DeGeneres she has 3 Tiffany engagement rings picked out – just in case?) . . . And gold-digger Oksana Grigorieva has now dropped her domestic violence suit against actor Mel Gibson, apparently as an olive branch to help settle their custody case (and besides, the legal fees are now topping 8 trillion).

• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Tonight Brit band Noah & The Whale (“Last Night on Earth”).
• MusiCares MAP Fund Benefit Concert (Los Angeles) – Tonight the 7th annual gala honors Depeche Mode singer Dave Gahan with the ‘Stevie Ray Vaughan Award’ for his commitment to helping other addicts with recovery. Performances by Jane’s Addiction, Ozomatli, Paramore.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Tina Fey (“30 Rock”); musical guest Ellie Goulding (“Lights/Bright Lights”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight Raphael Saadiq (“Stone Rollin’”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Steven Tyler (“American Idol”); Civil Wars (“Barton Hollow”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today Toni Braxton (“Pulse”).
• “Why Not? with Shania Twain” (OWN) – Sunday, the debut of a new reality series that follows the 45-year-old pop/country singer’s attempts to make a comeback in the music biz.

• Adele – Her album “21” has now notched its 6th non-consecutive week on top of the sales chart, according to Nielsen SoundScan.
• Brad Paisley – He’s donating artist royalties from iTunes sales and other digital downloads of his hit “Old Alabama” to the American Red Cross to help Alabama tornado victims.
• Britney Spears – She’s been spotted wearing a ring on her left ring finger, causing speculation she’s become engaged to boyfriend Jason Trawick.
• Elvis Costello & The Imposters – Saturday he begins a North American tour in Reno NV, highlighted by his ‘Spectacular Spinning Songbook’ game-show wheel which he spins to randomly choose each song on the set-list.
• Interpol – Sunday they perform at the first-ever “Sickday Fuzzy Sock Hop”, a concert at NYC’s Terminal 5 to benefit medical care for the creative community.
• “Songs for Japan” – The charity compilation album has now raised $5 million for the Japanese Red Cross Society. Participating artists include Beyoncé, Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen, Eminem, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Red Hot Chili Peppers, U2 and many more.
• Taylor Swift – Today her music video for “Mean” debuts on CMT and

• “Jumping the Broom” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Paula Patton, Laz Alonso, and Angela Bassett star in this story of 2 very different families who converge on Martha’s Vineyard in Massachusetts for a wedding. Shot in Nova Scotia.
• “Something Borrowed” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Adapted from Emily Griffin’s chick-lit novel of the same name, Kate Hudson and Ginnifer Goodwin play best friends who are caught between the same guy (Colin Egglesfield). Co-stars John Krasinski (“The Office”).
• “Thor” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): Based on the Marvel comic, Chris Hemsworth plays the Asgardian warrior who is exiled to Earth, where he learns heroism and humility. Co-stars Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins, Rene Russo. Directed by Kenneth Branagh (“Hamlet”, “Henry V”).

National Geographic’s “Taboo” TV program has investigated the life of an ‘infantilist’, a person who wishes to return to childhood. Identified only as ‘Stanley’, this adult baby sleeps in a giant crib, plays Legos in a baby play area, gets fed with a bottle, and is even creating his own gigantic highchair. It’s not sexual, just an attempt to recapture a simpler time, no matter how psychologically complicated it may appear. Stanley dresses and acts normally for the real world, but in his apartment … it’s all child’s play. (Uh sorry Stan, can’t help you out with the diaper.)

For the first time in 20 years, the number of US homes with a TV set is down, according to new stats from the Nielsen Company. A total of 97% of American households now own sets, down from 99%. Nielsen blames this trend on a couple of things. One is poverty, because new hi-def sets cost more and require pricey cable or satellite. The other, as you might have guessed, is the Internet, which feeds a steady stream of favorite shows directly to computers. (So shouldn’t computers be factored in when counting ‘TV households’?)

According to a new study published in the journal “Personality & Individual Differences”, our view of the past has the greatest effect on our life satisfaction in the present. Those who look at the past through rose-tinted glasses are happier than those who focus on negative past experiences and regrets. The study helps explain why people with certain personality traits are happier than others. For instance extroverts, who are energetic and talkative, are much more likely to remember the past positively and be happier as a result. (Don’t you just wanna slap ‘em?)
– “Daily Telegraph”

In his new book “Among the Truthers: A Journey Through America’s Growing Conspiracist Underground”, author Jonathan Kay argues that a belief in secret plots and forces guiding news events has spread since 9/11 … and not only in America. Roughly 25% of respondents to recent polls in Britain and Russia as well as the USA think the 1969 moon landing was a NASA hoax, an elaborate charade enacted on a movie sound-stage. TV broadcasts from the time are no proof to these disbelievers, they’re cited as total fakes. (So about that body recently buried at sea ‘in conformance with Islamic practices’ …)
– “Globe & Mail”

• This may seem counterintuitive, but just 13% of moms polled in a recent survey say the best Mothers Day gift is ‘handmade’.
• 70% of women surveyed say they’ve become closer to their mothers as they’ve grown older.
– “Social Studies”


1945 [66] Bob Seger, Dearborn MI, classic rock singer (“Against the Wind”, “Night Moves”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2004)  BS FACTOID: Saturday his 2011 North American tour hits Indianapolis IN.

1955 [56] Tom Bergeron, Haverhill MA, TV host (“Dancing With the Stars” since 2005, “America’s Funniest Home Videos” since 2001, “Hollywood Squares” 1998-2004)

1961 [50] George Clooney, Lexington KY, movie actor (“Up In the Air”, Oscar-Syriana”)/movie director (“Good Night, and Good Luck”)/movie producer (“Michael Clayton”)

1971 [40] Chris Shiflett, Santa Barbara CA, rock guitarist (Foo Fighters-“Rope”, “Best Of You”)

1983 [28] Gabourey Sidibe, Brooklyn NY, movie actress (2010 Oscar nominee-“Precious”)

Rock drummer Bill Kreutzmann (Grateful Dead) is 65; Metal guitarist Phil Campbell (Motorhead) is 50.

Comedian Don Rickles (‘Mr Warmth’) is 85; Rock drummer Alex Van Halen (Van Halen) is 58; TV football analyst Bill Cowher (“NFL Today on CBS”) is 54; Pop singer Darren Hayes (Savage Garden) is 39; Pop/Latin singer Enrique Iglesias (“Hero”) is 36.

• “Aiken Lobster Race”, the 27th running of the world’s only ‘thoroughbred lobster’ derby, scuttles in Aiken, South Carolina. The Kentucky Derby spoof race features live Maine lobsters.
• “Canadian Tulip Festival” through May 23rd in Ottawa-Gatineau. The world’s largest tulip festival is a direct result of the gift of 100,000 tulip bulbs from Holland’s Princess (later Queen) Juliana in 1945 as thanks for providing her a home during WWII.
• “International No Diet Day”, created in 1992 by Mary Evans Young, director of the British group ‘Diet Breakers’. After personally experiencing anorexia, she began working to help people appreciate the body they have.
• “International Tuba Day”, observed annually on the 1st Friday of May to celebrate the musical instrument that seems to get no respect, and to recognize tubists around-the-world who struggle with the ‘weight and size of their big instrument’. Whoa!
• “Military Spouse Appreciation Day”, observed annually on the Friday before “Mothers Day” to recognize the courage of those holding down the home front.
• “No Homework Day” … not sure why or who started it, but c’mon, teach’, be a sport!
• “No Pants Day”, when everyone, be they students, business people, or community leaders, are encouraged to leave their pants behind. Usually this means wearing thick, appropriately modest boxer shorts, but bloomers, slips, and briefs work as well. (Not to be confused with the annual “No Pants Subway Ride” in January.)
• “Nurses Week” begins, celebrated each year May 6-to-12 surrounding the birth date of Florence Nightingale. The US observes “National Nurses Day” today while “International Nurses Day” is May 12th.

• “Babysitters Day”, observed on the Saturday before “Mothers Day” to give sitters appreciation & special recognition for their quality child care. Good luck finding one … it’s Saturday night!
• “Birthmothers Day”, observed annually on the Saturday before “Mothers Day” and dedicated to those who, for one reason or another, have put a child up for adoption.
• “Free Comic Book Day”, the first Saturday in May each year, when participating comic book shops around-the-world give away comic books absolutely free to anyone who comes in.
• “Homebrew Day”, when homebrewers worldwide invite family & friends to sample their beers on the first Saturday in May. A world-wide toast is encouraged at noon local time.
• “Kentucky Derby”, the 137th ‘Run for the Roses’ in Louisville, Kentucky. It’s the first jewel in the ‘Triple Crown’ of thoroughbred horseracing in America.
• “Privy Diggers Day”, honoring those who excavate outhouses to explore the past. Man, what a crappy job!

• “Mothers Day”, now celebrated in some 60 countries on the 2nd Sunday in May, including
Australia, Canada, Denmark, Italy, New Zealand, Turkey, and the USA to honor all moms. More North Americans eat out on “Mothers Day” than any other special occasion.
• “No Socks Day”, when we’re encouraged to avoid wearing socks to feel less encumbered and help the environment by creating less laundry. While washing your feet prior to participating in the festivities is a requirement, painting your toenails is completely optional.
• “Stay Up All Night Day”, an annual observance limited to people under 40 … who can actually do it.
• “World Red Cross Day”, celebrating the 1828 birth of International Red Cross Movement founder Jean Henri Dunant in Geneva, Switzerland.

2004 [07] Much-hyped series finalé of “Friends” airs on NBC-TV

2005 [06] Augusta, Georgia unveils a life-size bronze statue of soul singer James Brown

2008 [03] 61-year-old Cher kicks off a 3-year, 200-show residency at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas dubbed “Cher At the Colosseum”

2010 [01] David Cameron (Conservative) becomes Britain’s Prime Minister

1990 [21] Dominic Cuzzacrea runs the 26.2-mile Buffalo NY marathon in 3 hours, 6 minutes … while flipping a pancake

1995 [16] ‘World’s Largest Margarita’ measures 3,500 gallons (San Antonio TX)

[Mon] Lost Sock Memorial Day
[Mon] Accounting Day
[Tues] Buddha Day
[Wed] Eat What You Want Day
[Wed] School Nurse Day
[Wed] Third Shift Workers Day
[Wed] Receptionists Day
[Wed] Cannes Film Festival begins
This Week Is … Muffin Week
This Month Is … Better Hearing & Speech Month


• Breakfast in bed with undercooked eggs and burnt coffee.
• A chocolate bar and a magazine from the corner store.
• A vacuum cleaner attachment.
• Exercise equipment.
• A cheapo buck-store plaque that says ‘World’s Greatest Mom’.
• A pair of XXL track pants from Walmart that say ‘World’s Greatest Mom’ on the ass.
(Good gifts for Mothers Day include flowers; a gift certificate for a manicure/pedicure; a surprise trip to see HER mom; a cleaned house & a cooked dinner.)

Are there any dolls you refuse to buy your kids?

• With which organization did actor George Clooney blow a try-out at age 21?
a. Cincinnati Reds. [CORRECT. He tried out as a center fielder.]
b. Grand Ole Opry.
c. Dallas Ballet.

• Sigmund Freud, born on this date in 1856, had a morbid fear of what?
a. Psychiatrists.
b. Ferns. [CORRECT]
c. Short chicks.
– “Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader”

An ‘extravagance’ is anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife.

Today’s Question: A study of sports fans finds that 15% of men & 5% of women love their team so much they’d like it included in THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Their obituary. (“O Magazine”).

A winner never whines.

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