BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
✳ The Rolling Stones rocked a packed house at LA’s Staples Center on Friday, opening night of their 17-date “50 & Counting” North American tour, but only after secondary sellers slashed ticket prices online and the band released additional $85 ‘cheap seats’ at the last minute. Celebs like Jack Nicholson, Johnny Depp, Nicole Kidman, and Kathy Griffin attended the show, which featured guest performances by Gwen Stefani on “Wild Horses” and Keith Urban on “Respectable”. (There could be more last minute discounts on this tour … embarrassing for the purported ‘world’s ‘greatest rock ‘n roll band’?)
– Reuters.com
✳ Oscar-winner and all-round lovable lunatic Jennifer Lawrence is reportedly being eyed by producers to play ‘Anastasia Steele’ in the upcoming “50 Shades of Grey” movie. This could be a smart move … when hordes of horny housewives descend on cinemas to drool over Alex Pettyfer (confirmed as male lead ‘Christian’), the promise of seeing 2013 s ‘Most Desirable Woman’ being tied up and spanked might be enough to drag their husbands along. (A less appealing choice: Joan Rivers.)
– Sourced from PerezHilton.com
✳ Actor John Stamos will host a new web series in which celebrities are reunited with their first bang, cleverly called “Losing My Virginity With John Stamos”. The concept, which will debut next year on Yahoo, was developed as a result of John’s own unplanned reunion with his firstie, and the insightful realization that everyone has a first time … and who wouldn’t want to share all the dirty details about it online for the entire world to see? (Not to mention their moms.)
– HecklerSpray.com
✳ “Rocky the Musical” is coming to Broadway, making its debut on the Great White Way early next year. It’s been playing in Hamburg, Germany as “Rocky: Das Musical” since late 2012 to surprisingly rave reviews. Based on the Oscar-winning 1976 film, the show is produced by Sylvester Stallone and Stage Entertainment USA. (Can you picture a beefed-up Matthew Broderick as ‘Rocky’? No? Then who would you cast?)
– Condensed from HuffingtonPost.com
✳ And actor Charlie Sheen has given his ex-wife Denise Richards the OK to look after his twin sons who’ve been removed from their mother Brooke Mueller’s home. The Department of Children & Family Services decided it was an unsafe environment due to suspected drug use. The 4-year-olds will now stay with Richards until officials decide where they’ll live permanently at a hearing scheduled for next week. (How bad a dad are you when the 2nd choice to parent your kids with your ex-wife is … your other ex-wife?)
– WENN.com
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Keith Urban (“American Idol”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) – The couples perform for the judges.
• “Dear Mom, Love Cher” (Lifetime) – An hour-long documentary that pays tribute to Cher’s mother Georgia Holt and focuses on her family history.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Rod Stewart (“Time”, out tomorrow).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Gold Fields (“Black Sun”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Steve Martin & Edie Brickell (“Love Has Come For You”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – James Blake (“Overgrown”).
• Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala (NYC) – Beyoncé is honorary chair of this year’s Punk-themed ‘Met Ball’. Joining her as co-hosts are legendary “Vogue” editor Anna Wintour, designer Riccardo Tisci (Givenchy), and actress Rooney Mara. The museum’s accompanying “Punk: Chaos to Couture” exhibition runs May 9th through August 11th.
• “Rihanna 777” (FOX) – An hour-long concert film about her November promotional tour for “Unapologetic”, in which she performed 7 shows in 7 days in 7 countries. 150 international journalists joined the perhaps overly-ambitious trek, many reporting that it was sheer misery.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Guest co-host Carnie Wilson (Wilson Phillips).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Fall Out Boy (“Save Rock & Roll”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The top 16 contestants perform during a 2-night live playoff event.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• ABBA – A reunion rumored to be on more than 30 years after they split, is now apparently off. 63-year-old Agnetha Faltskog says she and 67-year-old Anni-Frid Lyngstad did discuss singing together again … but it was just nostalgia. (Don’t dust off the glitter jumpsuits just yet.)
• Justin Timberlake – He’s set to produce & star in a bio-pic about Casablanca Records founder Neil Bogart called “Spinning Gold”. Casablanca was the premier disco label in the 1970s, signing such artists as Curtis Mayfield, Donna Summer, and the kitschy Village People.
• Kanye West – He’s revived his long dormant Twitter account to say simply: ‘June 18’. Many postulate he’s cryptically announcing the release date of his new album. It seems likely he’ll debut a track from it when he appears on the season finalé of “Saturday Night Live” May 18th.
• Lil Wayne – PepsiCo has severed ties with the rapper, who has been the face of the Mountain Dew ‘Deweezy’ ad campaign. The reason cited is his reference to slain civil rights figure Emmett Till in the track “Karate Chop”. (More likely about his rumored cough syrup addiction.)
• Tim McGraw – Today his video for “Highway Don’t Care” w/Taylor Swift, featuring Keith Urban on guitar, debuts on Google+ Hangout. He personally unveils the video at 5 pm EDT before a live audience in Nashville TN. The event will also be live-streamed on YouTube.
NET: http://www.youtube.com/timmcgraw
• Will.i.am – In a new interview with “Rolling Stone”, he claims he’s ‘executive producing’ the upcoming Britney Spears album, her 8th studio release. He says he will be ‘involved in’ the project but not producing or writing every song.
TAKE YOUR TIME:
The average American receives 12 paid vacation days per year, but only uses 10 of those days. The average Canadian gets 19 days of paid vacation; just 58% use all of that time. The average European, on the other hand, receives 25 vacation days per year (the French get a whopping 37) and they tend to use … all of them. (Seems obvious that Europeans value time more than money, as opposed to the world’s hardest-working countries such as Mexico, Japan, and South Korea.)
– Ipsos Ideas Spotlight
YOGURT BREATH:
Here’s a new way to help you fight ‘dragon breath’ … try eating plain yogurt. A recent study has found that participants in experiments who ate two 3-ounce servings of yogurt daily for 6 weeks reduced their levels of bad-breath-causing hydrogen sulfides by 80%. (What’s your secret to fresher breath? Some advise chewing cloves, brushing your cheeks & gums with chlorine dioxide toothpaste, or scraping the tongue with an inverted spoon. Is there a Listerine patch?)
– iVillage Health
WHAT’S IN THE MOON?
What you see on the face of the Moon likely depends on where you live, as interpretations vary by region and culture. For example …
• Moon Rabbit (East Asia): Moon gazers in Japan see a rabbit making rice cakes. In China and Korea, they see him too … except he’s mixing an immortality elixir.
• Man In the Moon (Europe): Many European cultures see an old man bearing a bundle of sticks.
• Handprints (India): Astangi Mata, mother of all living things, sent her twins into the sky to be the Sun and Moon. Her hands brushed Chanda’s cheek in a poignant farewell.
• Tree In the Moon (Hawaii): A woman called Hina uses this banyan tree to make cloth for the gods.
• Woman In the Moon (New Zealand): She is Rona, a Maori maiden who disrespected the Moon and must spend eternity there as penance.
– Excerpted from “National Geographic”
FIRST DATE SITES:
If you want to increase your chances of a smooth first date, meet for drinks. That’s what 44% of people think is the best option as a venue for getting to know someone. Having dinner is 2nd on the list, followed by taking in a movie, and participating in an outdoor activity like hiking. (What would be the worst idea for a first date? How about breakfast at your ex’s house, Happy Hour at Hooters, spending a cloudy day at a nude beach, square dancing with mom & dad, witnessing your first ‘sharing experience’ at AA, helping you clean your garage, or funeral crashing?)
– “USA Today”
DID YOU KNOW?
North American farmers will plant 214,300 acres of chickpeas this year, 5 times more than a decade ago. Why? Hummus has become so popular. (Ick! That’s not food, it’s grout.)
– PopBitch.com
BS CHRONOMETER 05.06.13
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [68] Bob Seger, Dearborn MI, classic rock singer (“Against the Wind”, “Night Moves”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2004) BS FACTOID: He’s still touring with his Silver Bullet Band, playing Saskatoon SK and Edmonton AB this week.
1955 [58] Tom Bergeron, Haverhill MA, TV host (“Dancing With the Stars” since 2005, “America’s Funniest Home Videos” since 2001, “Hollywood Squares” 1998-2004)
1960 [53] Roma Downey, Derry, Northern Ireland, TV actress (co-creator & producer “The Bible” mini-series, also plays ‘Mother Mary’; “Touched By An Angel” 1994-2003)
1961 [52] George Clooney, Lexington KY, movie actor (Oscar-“Syriana”)/movie director (“Good Night, and Good Luck”)/movie producer (“Michael Clayton”) COMING UP: Stars with Sandra Bullock in the sci-fi drama “Gravity”, opening October 4th.
1971 [42] Chris Shiflett, Santa Barbara CA, rock guitarist (Foo Fighters-“Rope”, “Best Of You”)
1972 [41] Martin Brodeur, Montréal PQ, NHL hockey goaltender (New Jersey Devils)/only NHL goalie to record 3 career goals
1992 [21] Brendan Gallagher, Edmonton AB, NHL hockey forward (Montréal Canadiens)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International No Diet Day”, created in 1992 by UK advocacy group Diet Breakers to help people appreciate the body they have.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/c4kwbx
• “Melanoma Monday”, aka “Skin Self-Examination Day”, observed annually on the 1st Monday of May. Better to find skin cancer yourself today than have a dermatologist find it next year.
NET: http://www.melanomamonday.org
• “No Homework Day” … not sure why or who started it, but c’mon, teach’, be a sport!
• “Nurses Week” begins, celebrated each year May 6-to-12 surrounding the birth date of Florence Nightingale. The USA observes “National Nurses Day” today while “International Nurses Day” is May 12th.
• “School Bus Drivers Appreciation Day”, an annual salute on the 1st Monday of May to the dedicated drivers who transport our kids.
• “Tourist Appreciation Day”, a highlight of “Travel & Tourism Week”, when we’re encouraged to consider all the things tourism brings to our communities. (Let’s see … crowds, litter, traffic jams, people wearing sandals with socks …)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2004 [09] Much-hyped series finalé of “Friends” airs on NBC-TV
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2008 [05] 61-year-old Cher kicks off a 3-year, 200-show residency at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas dubbed “Cher At the Colosseum”
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2010 [03] David Cameron (Conservative) becomes Britain’s Prime Minister
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1990 [23] Dominic Cuzzacrea runs the Buffalo NY marathon in 3 hours, 6 minutes … while flipping a pancake
1995 [18] In San Antonio TX, the ‘World’s Largest Margarita’ measures 3,500 gallons (13,250 liters)
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Accountants Day
[Tues] World Asthma Day
[Wed] Donate a Day’s Wages to Charity Day
[Wed] Third Shift Workers Day
[Wed] No Socks Day
[Wed] Receptionists Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Alcohol & Drug Related Birth Defects Awareness Week / Anxiety & Depression Awareness Week / Be Kind to Animals Week / Children’s Mental Health Week / Choose Privacy Week / Correctional Officers Week / Dating & Life Coach Recognition Week / Drinking Water Week / Flexible Work Arrangement Week / Goodwill Industries Week / International Wildlife Film Week / Occupational Safety & Health Week / Pet Week / PTA Teacher Appreciation Week / Public Service Recognition Week / Raisin Week / Update Your References Week / Wildflower Week
BULL’S BITS
BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS BUTTONS THAT SHOULD BE ON YOUR TV REMOTE:
• ‘Subtitles For Interviews With Pro Athletes’ button.
• ‘Rap-Mute’ button.
• ‘Reverse V-Chip’ button … makes shows more violent.
• ‘Marathon Series Viewing’ button … let’s you watch episodes back-to-back-to back.
• ‘Skip Directly to the Nude Scene’ button.
– First published in “BS” 2000.
YOU MIGHT BE A NURSE IF …
• Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal.
• You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.
• You have weekends off planned a year in advance.
• You believe that ‘too stupid to live’ should be a reasonable diagnosis.
• Your feet are slightly flatter and tougher than Fred Flintstone’s.
• You compliment complete strangers on the size of their veins.
• You believe that the waiting room should be supplied with a Valium salt-lick.
• You are not surprised when your patient says, “I have no idea how that got stuck in there.”
– First published in “BS” 1999.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com
BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Should governments be able to ban certain given names? New Zealand’s Registrar of Births, Deaths & Marriages must approve all baby names. Rejected over the past dozen years: King, Queen, Prince, Princess, Lucifer, and … Anal. Some of these might qualify as child abuse, no?
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
What was the collection of children’s stories published in 1697 by French poet Charles Perrault called?
a. “Aesop’s Fables”
b. “Grimm’s Fairytales”
c. “Tales of Mother Goose” [CORRECT]
– Wikipedia.org
BS RANDOM JOKE:
There’s nothing wrong with me that reincarnation won’t cure.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: In a restaurant, women are 25% more likely than men to do THIS.
Answer: Order dessert.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Falling in love is awfully simple. Falling out of love is simply awful.
NEW SHEETERS WHO WILL PROSPER:
Thanks to Guy McDonald @ Good Hope FM Cape Town WC South Africa who’s just renewed for another year of “BS” service; and we salute new subscriber Greg Smith @ Classic Rock CFNR Terrace, British Columbia; and welcome samplers this week who include Mitchell Smith @ Power 106.7 [KAGM] Los Alamos, New Mexico; Sue Filer @ Super Country 99.9 [WZBB] Rocky Mount, Virginia; Mark Humphries @ BFBS Radio Cyprus (British Forces Broadcasting Service) Camp Bastion; and Jai Bernard @ Power FM 98.1 FM [2NM] Muswellbrook NSW Australia.
