Thursday, May 7, 2015        Edition: #5446

Sheet for Brains!

★ Jamie Foxx has attempted to defend his (woeful) rendition of the anthem before the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight last Saturday by blaming his earpiece. Foxx has been heavily criticized on social media for what many describe as a ‘butchering’ of the tune. Foxx claims his performance was heavily impacted by the audio feed to his earpiece dropping out, so he couldn’t hear the background and had to go it on his own. Quote: “Hopefully they understand. It’s just the national anthem.” (Oops. Wrong answer!)
– “Access Hollywood”
★ Tiger Woods is in a dark place as the Players Championship tees off of in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida today. His 3-year relationship with skiing star Lindsey Vonn mutually came to an end last Sunday … May 3rd. That’s a doomed date for Tiger as his father, best friend, and mentor, Earl, passed away May 3rd, 2006. Woods won the last time he played here, in 2013 when he captured his 2nd Players title. (Apparently there’s a job opening for another Swedish-looking blonde.)
– “USA Today”
★ Reese Witherspoon has introduced her own clothing collection this week. The “Wild” star has made her 1st foray into fashion with the ‘Draper James’ line, a Southern-inspired sportswear and lifestyle brand that’s launched online. The Louisiana-born actress says the look reflects her Southern upbringing, with a lot of color, prints, plaids, and traditional fabrics like gingham. Reese says launching the line has been a dream come true as she has been obsessed with fashion from an early age. (And the movie roles are getting fewer and further between.)
– “Women’s Wear Daily”

• “The Big Bang Theory” (CBS) – ‘Sheldon’ and company bring the 8th season to a close.
• “Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Mumford & Sons (“Wilder Mind”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Morning Jacket (“The Waterfall”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Brandon Flowers (“The Desired Effect”, out May 19th).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Craft Spells (“Nausea”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Benjamin Booker (“Live at Third Man Records”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – First Aid Kit (“Stay Gold”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – John Legend (“Love In the Future”).
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Kelly Rowland (“Talk a Good Game”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – The Vaccines (“English Graffiti”, out May 26th).

• Britney Spears – She’s extending her Las Vegas residency at the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino for 3 more months, despite recently suffering an injury onstage when she rolled her ankle, tore ligaments, and ended up cancelling a handful of shows.
• Deep Purple – They top a new “Rolling Stone” magazine readers’ poll on the acts that should be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame next year.
• Florence Welch + The Machine – Florence Welch has decorated her London home with hundreds of intriguing items including bikes, books, baskets, and postcards; she admits she’s collected so many things it’s become “a hippie Disneyland”. (BS translation: She’s a hoarder.)
• Jason Isbell – His new tour with his band The 400 Unit gets underway tonight in Raleigh NC. Tickets for a 4-night stand in Nashville TN this October sold out in 72 hours. The trek supports the upcoming album “Something More Than Free,” which drops July 17th.
• Lana Del Rey – Tonight in The Woodlands TX she kicks off her “2015 Endless Summer Tour”. Special guest Courtney Love joins her for the 1st 8 shows. The schedule runs through June 16th in West Palm Beach FL.
• Miguel – The R&B singer has just dropped the new single “Coffee”, and it appears that his 3rd album, “Wildheart”, will be out this Summer. “Coffee” f/Wale is a new rendition of a song that Miguel released on his 3-track EP last December.
• Miley Cyrus – She’s launched the ‘Happy Hippie Foundation’, devoted to helping homeless and LGBT youth. A collection of music video collaborations on Facebook called ‘The Backyard Sessions’ will help fund the effort by enabling users to make online donations.
• Reba McEntire – “Going Out Like That”, the 1st single from her new album “Love Somebody”,  has been given an Electronic Dance Music remix. “Going Out Like That (Bummerman Remix)” is now available via digital retailers.
• Sia – She’s just released a deluxe edition of her latest album, “1,000 Forms of Fear”. It includes the standard album released in July 2014 plus piano versions and multiple remixes of the tracks “Chandelier”, “Elastic Heart”, and “Big Girls Cry”.
• The Who – It’s now confirmed they’ll make their 1st Glastonbury appearance since 2007 when they headline the final night of this year’s UK festival on June 28th. Singer Roger Daltrey says, “We’ll do our best to close [it] with a bang, unless of course the fireworks get wet.”
• Willie Nelson – He has confessed to smoking pot in the 1970s …. on the roof of the White House in Washington DC. The longtime weed advocate makes the confession in his new memoir, “It’s a Long Story: My Life”, which was released on Tuesday.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Country Crush” – Former “One Tree Hill” actress Jana Kramer has been focusing on a music career, but she’s now stepping back in front of the camera to film this indie romantic drama. She joins previously announced cast members Madeline Merlo, Munro Chambers, and Sophie Tweed-Simmons, the daughter of KISS rocker Gene Simmons.
• “It” – Will Poulter will play the evil clown ‘Pennywise’ in Cary Fukunaga’s upcoming movie remake of a 1991 TV mini-series. The film will stay true to Stephen King’s original story, even though it will be split into 2 feature films. The tale follows a group of outcast kids who come together to take on a monster disguised as a clown who’s haunting their town.
• “John Wick 2” – Keanu Reeves is returning to the killing life in a sequel to 2014’s R-rated hitman thriller. Last year’s stylized return to action for Reeves scored 85% positive on The original story revolved around a retired assassin who returns to action after Russian thugs beat him up, wreck his car, and kill his adorable puppy.
• “The Long Home” – Courtney Love has signed on for this 1940s drama based on a William Gay novel of the same name. Love, who recently had a recurring role on hit TV series “Empire”, joins a cast that already includes Giancarlo Esposito (“Breaking Bad”), Josh Hutcherson, and Timothy Hutton. James Franco is directing and producing, and is also expected to star.
• “Southpaw” – Jake Gyllenhaal has spent 5 months training to play a boxer with the help of former mixed martial arts champion David Buglione. Gyllenhaal also picked up a few tips while seated ringside at the recent Manny Pacquiao/Floyd Mayweather fight in Las Vegas. The movie – co-starring Rachel McAdams, Rita Ora, and 50 Cent – is due in theaters July 24th.

The evolution of western pop music from 1960-to-2010 has been analyzed by scientists. A joint research team from Queen Mary University and Imperial College London has looked at more than 17,000 songs from the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ and concluded that the sound of pop music has been marked by 3 revolutions – in 1964 (jazz & blues chords replaced by radical new rocky sound), 1983 (new technology, such as synthesizers, samplers, and drum machines), and 1991 (when hip-hop went mainstream). The team refutes claims that all pop music is starting to sound the same, and claims that hip-hop has actually saved the genre by changing the emphasis to speech sounds and rhythm. (Yeah, Snoop … what a helluva musician.)
– Condensed from BBC News

Innovators from Nikola Labs have unveiled a new iPhone case that could give your phone an extra 30% of power from seemingly nowhere. The technology converts radio frequencies into DC power. To do this, the case absorbs 90% of the wasted power expelled by the phone when it transmits a signal, and it puts it back into the phone. The case has no battery, so there’s nothing to charge. The device passively uses the radio frequency energy already being produced by the phone. Nikola Labs hopes to put out a product in the next year. From there, they hope to expand into other small gadgets like wearables and medical devices. A Kickstarter campaign is being launched where the new case will be sold for circa $99. (Someone’s gonna figure out how to charge for the waves later.)

Before you get all offended, read on!
✓ Apologize to the ball before throwing it.
✓ Get paid 74 cents for every dollar a man gets paid to throw the same ball.
✓ Throw the ball while constantly asking others what they think of you throwing the ball.
✓ Throw the ball and watch a man take credit for throwing it.
✓ Wear a pantsuit to fool people into thinking you’re actually a man throwing the ball.
✓ Throw the ball through a glass ceiling.
✓ Let a man interrupt you while throwing the ball.
✓ Throw the ball and wonder if you’re achieving work-life balance.
✓ See other women throw a ball. Compare your thighs to theirs.
✓ After reading an article in “Marie Claire”, learn that the best way to throw a ball is to stop looking for a ball to throw.
– Thanks to Valerie Nies @

Following the huge success of cat cafés in Europe, avid cat and film lovers Paula Siedlecka & William Piper are seeking to open ‘Great Kitten’ in London, the world’s 1st cat cinema, and they’ve have taken to Indiegogo to raise funds to help them do it. The venue will screen about 10 movies per week of all different genres, which patrons can enjoy … while snuggled up to a kitty. Once a week children and adults who struggle with mental health issues (such as depression and anxiety), physical disabilities, or life-threatening illnesses will be offered free access. ‘Great Kitten’ will be ‘staffed’ by 10 carefully adopted shelter cats and will encourage the adoption of other cats in need of forever homes. (Seems like a lot of ideas jumbled together. Think this is gonna fly?)

Frenchman Christian Poincheval has invented a line of scented pills designed to make your gaseous emissions smell like violets, roses, even chocolate. Poincheval says he was inspired to develop the product after a particularly pungent dinner with some fabulously flatulent friends. He claims his product does more than just make your gas smell delightful; it also purportedly reduces bloating and helps your digestive system run more smoothly. And Poincheval hasn’t forgotten about Fido; the product is also available in powder form to sprinkle on your pooch’s food, which he claims is “a great solution for long car trips”. (File this one under ‘Medical Breakthroughs We Didn’t Know We Needed’.)

• You’re more likely to have a ‘female’ brain if your right thumb is on top when you clasp your hands together.
• Your individual body odor genes may make you tastier to mosquitoes.
– BBC News


1946 [69] Bill Kreutzmann, Palo Alto CA, rock drummer (Grateful Dead-“Touch of Grey”)/author (“Deal: My Three Decades of Drumming, Dreams, and Drugs With the Grateful Dead”, out this week)  BS FACTOID: The surviving Dead perform June 27-28 in Santa Clara CA; July 3-5 in Chicago IL.

1986 [29] Matt Helders, Sheffield UK, indie rock drummer (Arctic Monkeys-“Fluorescent Adolescent”, “I Bet You Look Good On the Dancefloor”)

1992 [23] Alexander Ludwig, Vancouver BC, TV actor (‘Björn Ironside’ on “Vikings” since 2014)/movie actor (“The Hunger Games”, “Race to Witch Mountain”)

• “Beaufort Scale Day”, honoring the 1774 birth of British naval officer Sir Francis Beaufort who, as any sailor knows, invented the scale that measures wind speed from 0 (calm) to 12 (hurricane), adopted as an international standard in 1874.

• “Childhood Depression Awareness Day”, first designated by the National Mental Health Association in 1997. Also known as “Green Ribbon Day”, we’re encouraged to wear one to create awareness of the malady.

• “Mom’s Nite Out”, the ultimate celebration of motherhood, because every Mom deserves a night out … even if it takes place at home.

2010 [05] The sequel film “Iron Man 2” opens in movie theaters and eventually grosses $624 million worldwide (unlike most film series, the ‘threequel’ proves an even bigger hit in 2013)

1965 [50] A bleary-eyed Keith Richards awakes in the early morning hours in a Clearwater FL motel room, grabs a tape recorder and lays down one of the greatest guitar hooks of all-time – the opening riff of “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” – then promptly falls back to sleep

2000 [15] Vladimir Putin is inaugurated president of Russia (the 1st time)

2006 [09] Phoenix Suns’ Steve Nash becomes 1st point guard to be named the NBA’s Most Valuable Player in consecutive seasons since LA Lakers’ Magic Johnson 1989-90

2000 [15] Skydiver Mike Hennessy of West Springfield, Massachusetts celebrates his 50th birthday by jumping out of an airplane … 50 times

[Fri] National Blues Museum opens (St Louis MO)
[Fri] Rock In Rio USA begins (Las Vegas NV)
[Fri] Child Care Provider Day
[Sat] Birthmothers Day
[Sat] Miniature Golf Day
[Sun] BAFTA TV Awards (London UK)
This Week Is … Goodwill Industries Week
This Month Is … Haitian Heritage Month


Forget the flowers and greeting cards; a few things mom would actually appreciate …
✓ To eat an entire meal without any discussion of bodily functions at the table.
✓ At least 5 minutes in the bathroom without someone knocking on the door because they can’t find something.
✓ Instead of a candy bar and a magazine from the corner store, a cleaned house and a cooked dinner.
✓ A beautiful bouquet of tulips is fine, but just for once NOT stolen from her garden.
✓ Last year’s belated Mothers Day gift … which seems to have never arrived.
✓ Hours of labor multiplied by years of service, expressed in dollars (rounded up).
– Adapted from

☎ What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen someone doing while at the wheel of a car?

Just 3 years after the “Titanic” went down, 1,200 people died when a German torpedo hit which ship?
a. ‘USS Maine’.
b. ‘RMS Lusitania’. [CORRECT. The British liner sank 100 years ago today, in 1915.]
c. ‘SS Bismarck’.

I’m busier than a one-legged Riverdancer this morning …

Question: 20% of married people say THIS is what their spouses did that caused them to quit speaking to them the last time.
Answer: Threw something away they shouldn’t have.

Birds of a feather flock together … then crap all over your car.

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