BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
It’s raking up box office records but Joss Whedon’s “The Avengers” has drawn criticism from several Bollywood stars dismayed over the depiction of India in the blockbuster, the “Hindustan Times” noting that both its Indian scenes show only slums (even worse, they were shot in New Mexico) . . . “Smash” star Debra Messing says she expected backlash when she divorced her husband and started dating her co-star Will Chase, but was surprised at the acceptance they’ve received (hey, in Hollywood this is about as common as Botox and wannabe screenwriters) . . . The Covington, Georgia mansion used as the home of “Vampire Diaries” (CW) protagonist ‘Elena Gilbert’ (Nina Dobrev) is up for sale at $450,000 (in Beverly Hills, it’d be $4.5 million) . . . The La Habra, California house Nadya ‘Octo-Mom’ Suleman has been raising her 14 children in for the past 3 years went on the auction block yesterday and was expected to sell in the $400,000 range (she lost it after failing to make any payments for the past year) . . . Tony-nominated actor James Corden has turned down the chance to extend his 6-month stint on Broadway in “One Man, Two Guvnors” because he wants to go home to Britain to wed his partner Julia Carey (how unusual, someone in show biz with priorities) . . . The advocacy group Parents Television Council is seething over foul-mouthed Howard Stern’s new gig on “America’s Got Talent” (debuting May 14th on NBC-TV) so they’ve fired off a scathing letter to all of the show’s sponsors, encouraging them to cut their ties (another misjudgement by producer Simon Cowell?) . . . And 42-year-old Jennifer Lopez has given her 25-year-old dancer-boyfriend Casper Smart a promotion by hiring him to ‘help choreograph’ her upcoming tour with Enrique Iglesias (now he’s getting bossed around on-the-job as well as at home).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – Chris Brown performs (“Fortune”, out June 29th); the couples face elimination.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Flo Rida (“Only One Rida – Part 2”, out June 26th).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Silversun Pickups (“Neck Of the Woods”, out today) perform on the show’s outdoor stage.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Steven Tyler (Aerosmith).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Of Monsters & Men (“My Head Is an Animal”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Macy Gray (“Covered”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Guest co-host Carnie Wilson (Wilson Phillips).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – BoB (“Strange Clouds”); OAR (“King”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Ricky Martin (“17: Greatest Hits”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) –  Daryl Hall & John Oates, Flo Rida, Justin Bieber, and Lady Antebellum perform; the winner is revealed.

TONIGHT’S TV SEASON FINALÉS:
✓ “New Girl” (FOX)
✓ “Unforgettable” (CBS)

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – She tops a new poll on Britain’s most popular acts with an estimated 730,000 fans rating her their favorite music artist.
• Alan Jackson – Tonight he takes to the Grand Ole Opry stage in Nashville to give a sneak-peek performance of his upcoming album “Thirty Miles West”, out June 5th.
• Carrie Underwood – This Summer she’s set to do a concert tour of Australia for the first time. The 4-show trek begins June 26th at Melbourne’s Palais Theatre and wraps July 2nd at the Sydney Opera House.
• Coldplay – Frontman Chris Martin has revealed that years of playing live have left him with tinnitus, a condition that causes a buzzing or ringing in the ears. He’s now started protecting his hearing from extreme sound levels, something he says he wished he’d done years ago.
• Drake – He’s been photographed enjoying a day out at Disneyland with “America’s Next Top Model” host Tyra Banks. He’s previously been linked to Rihanna and Nicki Minaj, while Banks recently ended her relationship with businessman John Utendahl.
• Jewel – She’s signed for her first major acting role, playing the late wife of Johnny Cash in the upcoming Lifetime TV movie “The June Carter Cash Story”. The film is based on the memoir “Anchored In Love: An Intimate Portrait Of June Carter Cash” by her son John Carter Cash.
• Karmin – Today they release their debut album “Hello”. It features the hit dance track “Brokenhearted”. The due has racked up more than 150 million views on YouTube.
• Madonna – Today in NYC, a Bonhams auction features a 1990 B&W photo of her naked on a bed smoking a cigarette. It’s expected to fetch at least $8,000.
• No Doubt – They’ve announced they will return with a new album this Fall, their 1st since 2001’s “Rock Steady”. No title has been divulged as yet.
• Pitbull – Today an 18-song retrospective set from his early years entitled “Original Hits” is being released.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Cult comedy heroes Tim Heidecker & Eric Wareheim (“Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!”) are given a billion dollars to make a movie but squander every dime, thereby ticking off the corporation that backed the project. Guest appearances by Jeff Goldblum, Will Ferrell, Zach Galifianakis and others.
• “Underworld: Awakening” ( R-Rated Action Fantasy ): In the franchise’s 4th film, Kate Beckinsale stars as vampire warrior ‘Selene’, who leads the battle against humankind as it attempts to eradicate both Vampire and Lycan clans. Co-stars Michael Ealy, Stephen Rea, and newcomer India Eisley. Shot in Vancouver.
• “The Vow” ( PG-13 Romantic Drama ) – Rachel McAdams plays a young newlywed who sinks into a coma after an auto accident. When she wakes up with severe memory loss, her new husband (Channing Tatum) has to work to win her heart all over again. Co-stars Sam Neill, Jessica Lange. Shot in Chicago and Toronto.
• Also released today: “The Big C: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV); “Chuck: The Complete 5th & Final Season” (TV); “Fantasy Island: The Complete 2nd Season” (Vintage TV); “Happiness is … Peanuts: Team Snoopy” (Animation); “The John Wayne Film Collection” (Compilation); “Rookie Blue: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV); “This is What Love in Action Looks Like” (Documentary); and “Tom & Jerry: Around the World” (Vintage Animation).

ROACH SOCIAL LIFE:
The much-maligned cockroach is more sophisticated and social than we thought, according to new research. Scientists are finding that cockroaches are actually highly social creatures; they recognize members of their own families, with different generations of the same families living together. Cockroaches do not like to be left alone, and suffer ill health when they are. And they form closely bonded societies, based on social structures and rules. Communities of cockroaches are even capable of making collective decisions for the greater good. (For more info, watch “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”.)
– “Globe & Mail”

WE GOT THE BEAT:
In Sweden, increasingly more workers are foregoing leisurely lunches or a quick bite ‘al-desko’ in favor of … mid-day disco parties. It started in 2010 when 14 co-workers decided to dance their lunch breaks away in an office garage. They called their gathering ‘Lunch Beat’. As rumors about this literally underground movement spread, more and more people joined in. Today, ‘Lunch Beat’ events are being arranged by a core group of organizers at venues around Sweden, attracting up to 600 people at a time, and copycat clubs are popping up across Europe. (Rule #1: no talking about work!)
NET: http://www.lunchbeat.org
– Slate.com

NEW BS GIZMOS & GADGETS:
✓ ‘Fake TV’ fools burglars into thinking someone’s at home. Using a small panel of very bright LEDs, this device projects a randomly changing display of light that mimics a TV set using a fraction of the energy. Project it onto curtains or a wall. It activates automatically at night.
– “Tacoma News-Tribune”
✓ A new refrigerator in the GE Café line that heats water to 4 preset levels for making baby formula or instant oatmeal will be introduced by General Electric later this year. In focus groups, consumers listed ‘hot-water production’ as a frequent refrigerator wish.
– “Wall Street Journal”

CRAPPY MOTHERS DAY:
Anna Jarvis, the woman who invented “Mothers Day”, was so horrified by the crass commercialization of it she spent the final 40 years of her life trying to rid the observance of cards, gifts, and flowers and return it a quiet day to honor moms in church. After campaigning for over a decade to have a special day for mothers recognized, it took only a few short years of crass marketing to sour her on the result. After spending her entire family inheritance trying to undo the damage to “Mothers Day”, she died in 1948 in poverty and without success. (Such a sad story … does this in any way get us out of obligations this weekend?)
– “BBC World”

SHIP OF DREAMS:
By late 2013, a company called Blueseed plans to open a floating island-ship intended to house technology startup founders and employees only 30 minutes off the California coast. Because it will be located in international waters, a visa is not needed, hopefully drawing in international entrepreneurs. 133 startups are already gearing up for the maritime experience. The price, which includes both living and working space, ranges from $1,200 a month for a shared cabin up to $3,000 for a top-tier single cabin. Ferries will shuttle entrepreneurs from the ship to nearby Silicon Valley. (A boatload of geeks … some cruise.)
– VB.com

THE WINDS OF WAR:
Today & tomorrow Alexander Historical Auctions in Stamford, Connecticut is holding a sale that includes medical records from Adolf Hitler. They reveal, among other things, that Hitler used cocaine extensively to soothe his sinuses and throat. He was also known to break wind during meals with his generals in the cramped confines of the Fuhrer-bunker and took huge amounts of anti-flatulence drugs. The records also note that he had a less than sizzling sex-life with girlfriend Eva Braun and was injected with extracts from bull’s testicles in an attempt to boost his libido. The files are expected to fetch circa $2,000. (Who’d want the medical history of some old fart?)
– Mirror Online

FOR THE RECORD:
Stuntwoman Jolene Van Vugt (née London ON) has set a new record for ‘World’s Fastest Motorized Toilet’, reaching a speed of 46 mph (75 km/hr) over 100 meters in Australia, beating the previous record by 4.2 mph (7 km/hr). (She was flushed with pride.)
– BBC News

DID YOU KNOW?
The largest known butterfly is Queen Alexandra’s Birdwing from New Guinea, which has a wingspan of approximately 11 inches (28 cm).
– ListsOPlenty.com

BS CHRONOMETER 05.08.12

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1953 [59] Alex Van Halen, Nijmegen, Netherlands, classic rock drummer (Van Halen-“Jump”, “Why Can’t This Be Love”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2007)/brother of guitarist Eddie Van Halen

1957 [55] Bill Cowher, Crafton PA, TV football analyst (“NFL Today on CBS”)/retired NFL coach (Pittsburgh Steelers 1992-2007)/Super Bowl 40 winner (2006)

1964 [48] Melissa Gilbert, Los Angeles CA, TV personality (“Dancing with the Stars” 2012)/former TV actress (“Little House On the Prairie” 1974-83)

1972 [40] Ray Whitney, Fort Saskatchewan AB, NHL forward (Phoenix Coyotes)

1975 [37] Enrique Iglesias (Preysler), Madrid, Spain, pop/Latin singer (f/Ludacris-“Tonight I’m Lovin’ You”, f/Pitbull-“I Like It”)/sometime boyfriend of former tennis player Anna Kournikova

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “No Socks Day”, when we’re encouraged to avoid wearing socks to feel less encumbered and help the environment by creating less laundry. (While washing your feet prior to participating in the festivities is a requirement, painting your toenails is completely optional.)

• “Teacher Day”, traditionally observed on the Tuesday of the first full week of May to show our teachers appreciation. It encourages us to compliment present and/or past teachers. (There are several similar celebrations at various times of the year.)

• “World Red Cross Day”, celebrating the 1828 birth of Jean Henri Dunant in Geneva, Switzerland, founder of the International Red Cross/Red Crescent

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2010 [02] At age 88, Betty White becomes oldest-ever host of “Saturday Night Live” (NBC)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1999 [13] “Livin’ La Vida Loca” by Ricky Martin hits #1

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1642 [370] Paul de Chomedy de Maisonneuve founds ‘Ville-Marie’ (Montréal)

1952 [60] “Mad Magazine” debuts on newsstands (‘Alfred E Neuman’ [“What, me worry?”] first appears on the cover 4 years to the day later)

1987 [25] Canada’s 1-dollar coin is introduced (‘looney’, ‘loonie’ or ‘loony’ … how do YOU spell it?)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Donate a Day’s Wages to Charity
[Wed] Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day
[Wed] Third Shift Workers Day
[Wed] Receptionists Day
[Wed] School Nurse Day
[Fri] “Dark Shadows” opens in movie theaters
This Week Is … Flexible Work Arrangement Week
This Month Is … Hope Chest Month

BULL’S BITS

BS SIGNS YOU’RE TOO OLD TO BE LIVING AT HOME:
• You’re 42 and you have a curfew.
• Your parents keep leaving ads for rental apartments taped to your hamster’s cage.
• You get caught sneaking in late … from a Neil Diamond concert.
• You’ve convinced yourself that when Dad dies, Mom will marry you.
• Letter carrier openly mocks you by saying, “Give these letters to Mommy, you deadbeat.”
• You can never figure out which dentures are yours.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Which animal has been called ‘The Mother of All Fathers’, due to its care for its young?
a. Lion.
b. Penguin. [CORRECT. Emperor penguin males starve for 4 months while they huddle to protect their eggs from Antarctica’s minus-40 degree Winter temps.]
c. Beaver.

• Roquefort cheese is made from which animal’s milk?
a. The cow.
b. The ewe. [CORRECT. Baaa!]
c. The nanny.
– Wikipedia.org

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s the absolute last thing you’ll hack from your household budget?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If a hipster falls in the forest … you probably haven’t heard it anyway.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 30 years ago, 10% of women went without THIS; today it’s about 20%.
Answer: Children.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It’s better to be right than consistent.