Thursday, May 9, 2013        Edition: #4981

Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘n Fresh!

✳ Shane Black, director & co-writer of “Iron Man 3”, has revealed an early cut of the movie ran 3 hours, 15 minutes and featured several extra villains, an extended car chase, and … a love affair between Gwyneth Paltrow & Guy Pearce. In the movie’s 2nd draft, ‘Pepper Potts’ slept with ‘Aldrich Killian’ because he was so pheromone-enhanced with ‘Extremis’ she can’t resist him. Then he made a sex-tape and broadcast it … in a Home Depot. (Thanks for the edit!)
– “Empire Magazine”
✳ Wade Robson, a  choreographer who’s worked with the likes of Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake, has filed legal papers in California claiming Michael Jackson molested him when he was a young boy. Robson, now 30, says he first met the ‘King of Pop’ when he was 5 and they developed a friendship that lasted almost a decade. His lawyer is petitioning a judge to allow him to file a late creditor’s claim against Jackson’s estate. (During MJ’s 2005 trial, Robson testified there was no hanky-panky … seems he’s changed his mind.)
✳ Kim Kardashian’s little brother Rob Kardashian has been charged with battery and petty theft relating to a bust-up with photographer Andra Viak in March. The 26-year-old “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” star has also been sued by Viak, who claims he ripped the memory card from her camera after he caught her snapping him as he exited an LA gym. (SHE should be charged with picking a lame target.)
✳ Lindsay Lohan’s days of sleeping in are over. For the next 3 months of her stay at the Betty Ford Center she’s being woken up every morning at 6:30 am and then assigned her daily chores. She’s reportedly completed a mandatory 48-hour detox and transitioned to a female dorm, but doesn’t have a roommate at this point. She is getting no special treatment at the center, according to an insider, and must remain on the premises at all times during her court-ordered stay. (Right, we’ve heard that one before.)
✳ And in a new ‘100 Most Trusted People’ poll conducted by “Reader’s Digest” magazine, Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock have received the highest scores in show biz (65% and 63% respectively), with Denzel Washington and Meryl Streep close behind (62% and 61%). And the least trusted stars? Kristen Stewart (24%), who failed to surpass even Tom Cruise (27%). (Due to her ‘almost-cheating’ episode in 2012, Kristen’s still anchoring almost every poll.)
– ET Online

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Alicia Keys performs; Lauren Alaina performs; contestants face elimination.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – RNDM (“Acts”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – (“”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Purity Ring (“Shrines”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Lady Antebellum (“Golden”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – John Densmore (The Doors).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Shakira (“The Voice”); aging Brit pop star Tom Jones.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Josh Groban (“All That Echoes”).

• “Community” (NBC/CityTV)
• “Glee” (FOX/Global)
• “Person of Interest” (CBS/CityTV)
• “Small Town Security” (AMC)
• “Two-and-a-Half Men” (CBS/CTV)
• “Wipeout” (ABC)

• ABBA – The first permanent museum dedicated to the iconic 1970s Swedish group has opened this week in Stockholm, celebrating their catchy tunes and outlandish costumes with posters, photos, memorabilia, and a display of all their gold records.
• Blur – Frontman Damon Albarn has confirmed the group is still working on a new album. The Brit-pop icons haven’t made an album since 2003’s “Think Tank”, although they have released a few singles in recent years.
• Brad Paisley – Tonight the first leg of his “Beat This Summer Tour” begins in St Louis, Missouri. The trek hits over 30 cities across the US & Canada, finishing up at the Mandalay Bay Resort in Las Vegas on August 31st. Special guests are Chris Young and Lee Brice.
• Carrie Underwood – She’s replacing Faith Hill on the opening theme for “Sunday Night Football” on NBC-TV. She’ll make her debut singing “Waiting All Day for Sunday Night” on September 8th when “SNF” opens its season with NY Giants @ Dallas Cowboys.
• Darius Rucker – Tonight he’s hitting the road in Ft Myers, Florida in support of his new “True Believers” album. The tour hits more than 30 venues before winding up in Cincinnati, Ohio on September 14th.
• David Bowie – His new video for “The Next Day” features prolific Brit actor Gary Oldman and Oscar-winning actress Marion Cotillard as a dancing girl who bleeds from stigmata marks on her palms.
• The Doors – The back catalogue of the ‘60s-‘70s rock band is being resurrected with an iPad app created by Jac Holzman, who founded their label Elektra Records. He sees it as a potential new way for record companies to market artist compilations instead of traditional boxed sets.
• George Jones – What was to be his final concert on November 22nd in Nashville will still be staged as a tribute to the country icon who died April 26th at age 81. Performers at the already SRO event will include Garth Brooks, Kid Rock, Travis Tritt, and many others.
• Weezer – Frontman Rivers Cuomo and Alister frontman Scott Murphy have a side project aptly dubbed Scott & Rivers. They’ve released a self-titled debut album on iTunes, which they recorded over several years in LA and Chicago. Oddly, the lyrics are mostly in Japanese.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Crow” – Luke Evans (“The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey”) is set to star in a remake of the 1994 thriller. The Welsh actor will follow in the footsteps of the late Brandon Lee in playing a man who is brutally murdered alongside his fiancée. But somehow he comes back to life as an un-dead avenger, looking to find and punish his killer.
• “Laggies” – Newlywed actress Keira Knightley is in talks to take over the female lead in this dark indie comedy. The story follows a young woman who reacts to her boyfriend’s marriage proposal by pretending to go on a business retreat while actually hanging with a new  friend. Anne Hathaway was originally aboard for the role but departed due to scheduling conflicts.
• “Macbeth” – Natalie Portman is about to join Michael Fassbender in a new bigscreen adaptation of Shakespeare’s classic ‘Scottish play’. The 31-year-old actress will play the role of scheming ‘Lady Macbeth’ opposite Fassbender as the title character. This latest version will reportedly retain the original language and setting, as well as the play’s bloody violence.
• “Men in Black 4” – Sony Pictures has already hired a screenwriter to pen a 4th installment in the Will Smith-Tommy Lee Jones action comedy series. The original film was a big hit, with a 91% favorable ranking on Rotten Tomatoes. “Men in Black II” was an unmitigated disaster, and while the 3rd film was better, it was only reviewed favorably by 70%. Do we really need #4?
• “Mission: Impossible 5” – It’s been announced Tom Cruise will reprise his role as ‘IMF’ agent ‘Ethan Hunt’ one more time. He’ll star and produce the 5th installment with “Jack Reacher” writer/director Christopher McQuarrie behind the camera. The “Mission: Impossible” series is the 13th highest-grossing film series of all-time, with over $2 billion in worldwide box office.

Norland College in Somerset, England has been training professional nannies for the rich and famous since 1892. Norland nannies are considered the most prestigious and are the favorites of royals, celebrities, and the super-rich. They were once only required to push a pram and read a bedtime story to children in their charge, but now a new breed of nannies is being taught skills for the 21st century. In addition to expertise in first aid, sewing, and cooking, Norland nannies now also learn stunt driving and how to deal with paparazzi. (They also learn how to say ‘no’.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

Pioneered by Bose Corp founder Amar Bose and inspired by the intolerable loudness of jet engines on a transatlantic flight, ‘Active Noise Control’ technology is what distinguishes noise-cancelling headphones from regular models. Rather than simply preventing unwanted outside sound from reaching the ear, ANC uses ‘destructive interference’ to cancel out ambient noise. The process involves a microphone that senses the frequency of incoming noise; then the headphones generate a frequency 180 degrees out of phase with the unwanted sound … an ‘anti-noise’ output that directly cancels the input. (For $200 less you can get earmuffs.)

How are you going to honor Mom this Mothers Day? The most common responses to that question in a new poll …
1. Spending quality time with her.
2. Taking her out to dinner.
3. Giving her flowers.
– “USA Today”

Single dudes: Are you holding a guitar at this moment? If not, you are not reaching your Maximum Attractiveness Potential, according to 2 recently published studies. A just-published French study suggests women are more attracted to a guy hefting around a guitar, and that supports another study published in Israel last year that found women are more likely to friend a guy if his Facebook profile shows him with a guitar. You don’t actually need to be able to play it for it to be effective. (Just carry it around and wait for women to hurl their numbers at you.)

✓ In a total of 27 births from 1725-65, Valentina Vassilyeva of Shuya, Russia gave birth to 69 children, including 16 pairs of twins, 7 sets of triplets, and 4 sets of quadruplets. Unbelievably, 67 of them survived infancy. That’s the all-time world record for mothering.
✓ The modern world record for giving birth is held by Leontina Albina from San Antonio, Chile. Now in her mid-60s, she claims to be the mother of 64 children. Of these, 55 are documented.
✓ The mother with the greatest number of kids that are not twins or multiple births is Livia Ionce. This Romanian woman, 44, gave birth to her 18th child in Canada in 2008.

Human eyes are so sensitive that, on a clear and moonless night, a person with average vision sitting on a mountain peak can see a match struck 50 miles away. (And still have time to escape the ensuing forest fire.)
– “Fun Facts”


1936 [77] Albert Finney, Salford UK, movie actor (“Skyfall”, “The Bourne Legacy”)/5-time Oscar nominee

1946 [67] Candice Bergen, Beverly Hills CA, movie actress (“Bride Wars”, “Miss Congeniality”)/TV actress (“Boston Legal” 2005-08, 4 Emmy Awards-“Murphy Brown” 1988-98)

1949 [64] Billy Joel, Bronx NY, oldies singer (“Just the Way You Are”, “My Life”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1999)/rehab veteran

1950 [63] Tom Petersson, Rockford IL, classic rock bassist (Cheap Trick-“Cheap Trick at Budokan”)

1962 [51] David Gahan, North Weald UK, electronica singer-songwriter (Depeche Mode-“Heaven”, “Precious”)

1970 [43] Ghostface Killah (Dennis Coles), Staten Island NY, rapper (Wu-Tang Clan-“Protect Ya Neck”, “Triumph”)/sometime actor (“Fade to Black”, “Iron Man”)

1979 [34] Pierre Bouvier, Montréal QC, rock singer (Simple Plan-f/K’naan-“Summer Paradise”, “Welcome to My Life”)

1979 [34] Rosario Dawson, NYC, movie actress (“Unstoppable”, “Sin City”)  COMING UP: “Sin City: A Dame to Kill For”, opening October 4th.

• “Lost Sock Memorial Day”, a day to remember those singular hose that went into the washing machine or dryer never to return. (Play “Taps” for them?)

• “Occupational Safety & Health Professionals Day”, recognizing the efforts and commitment of these safety, health, and environmental professionals who keep us safer on-the-job.

• “Small Business Day”. A small business is defined as one with fewer than 100 employees. (Many of today’s small businesses used to be big businesses.)

1987 [26] Actor Tom Cruise marries actress Mimi Rogers (wife #1 lasts just 3 years, apparently inspiring little couch-jumping)

1992 [21] Bruce Springsteen finally makes his TV debut, performing “Lucky Town” on “Saturday Night Live” (NBC)

1914 [99] US president Woodrow Wilson proclaims the 1st “Mothers Day” holiday

1984 [29] Chicago White Sox & Milwaukee Brewers finally finish an 8 hour, 6 minute game; longest-ever MLB game in elapsed time (Chicago wins 7-6 in 25th inning … on the 2nd day)

[Fri] “The Great Gatsby”; “Peeples” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Child Care Provider Day
[Fri] Military Spouse Appreciation Day
[Sat] Babysitters Day
[Sat] Miniature Golf Day
[Sat] Stay Up All Night Day
[Sun] International Nurses Day
This Week Is … Salute to Moms 35+ Week
This Month Is … EcoDriving Month


Yep, you can actually buy these online (if you wanna be disowned) …
✗ ‘Fetus-Shaped Cookie Cutter’ … $11.99
✗ ‘Betty Crocker Fudge Brownies-Flavored Lip Balm’ … $2.99
✗ ‘Heart-Shaped Spatula’ … $9.95
✗ ‘”Blonde moms have more fun!” Trucker Hat’ … $9.99
✗ ‘”I brought you into this world, I can take you out!” Fridge Magnet’ …. $3.99
✗ ‘Mustachifier Mustache-Shaped Pacifier’ … $9.99
✗ ‘Farm Your Own Pearl Kit’ … $10.99
✗ ‘”Mom off duty – go ask your Dad!” T-Shirt’ … $14.99
✗ ‘Inflatable Husband’ … $12.95

☎ What’s the trashiest current fashion fad?

Which animal’s milk does not curdle?
a. Goat
b. Camel. [CORRECT. Yum yum.]
c. Bengal tiger.
– “Amazing Animal Facts”

I lost a button hole today …

Question: The average guy spends 22 minutes a day doing THIS.
Answer: Talking about sports.

He who follows another is always behind.

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