Thursday, May 28, 2020 Edition: #6707
Another Sheetload of Bull!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ “Harry Potter” author J.K. Rowling began releasing chapters of a new work called “The Ickabog” online this week. She wrote in a blog post that The Ickabog is a “story about truth and the abuse of power.” And she pointed out “it isn’t Harry Potter” and “it doesn’t include magic… this is an entirely different story.” The book is being released in installments for free on “The Ickabog” website until July 10, and will be published in print and e-books in November. Royalties from the published book will be donated to COVID-19 relief efforts.
-TheWrap
★ Late-night host Jimmy Fallon is facing criticism on social media after a video of him performing in blackface in a 2000 “SNL” skit resurfaced. The hashtag #JimmyFallonIsOverParty began trending as a result of the Fallon and Darrell Hammond sketch, which features Fallon doing an impersonation of Chris Rock in full hair and makeup to look like the former cast member.
-MSN
★ Matthew McConaughey and his wife Camila Alves have donated 110,000 masks to hospitals in Texas, a month after they first donated 80,000 masks. They teamed up with car manufacturer Lincoln to help deliver the much-needed masks to healthcare workers in Texas who need the protective equipment as they continue to care for those who have been hospitalized with coronavirus.
-ContactMusic
★ FX has officially ordered an “American Horror Story” spinoff series. The green light comes just two weeks after creator Ryan Murphy announced the project, titled “American Horror Stories”, which will be a weekly, hour-long anthology series that tells a different horror story each episode. We don’t know much more about it at this point. It has not been confirmed if original cast members will appear in the new series, though it seems likely, given that many have appeared in other Murphy-created titles.
-PopCulture
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Dakota Johnson
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Staff Favorites, including Kevin Hart, Justin Timberlake, Amy Poehler
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Thandie Newton, Ina Garten, John Mulaney (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Aubrey Plaza, Louie Anderson, Rihanna, Jessica Burdeaux (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jay Duplass, Alexandra Daddario, Noah Gardenswartz (R)
• “Conan” (TBS): Lin-Manuel Miranda (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Dr. Michael Osterholm
• “The Talk” (CBS): Billy Gardell, Iyanla Vanzant, guest co-host Elizabeth Cook
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Tracee Ellis Ross, Darcy Miller
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): James Marsden, Kym Douglas, Alanis Morissette
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Gordon Ramsay, Zola Nene, DJ Khaled, Justin Willman
• “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” (ABC): Celebrity guests Lauren Lapkus and Anderson Cooper play for charity.
• “Holey Moley” (ABC): A former professional golfer tees up against a scrapbooking queen; a professional model and revenge-seeking husband flip out after their diving skills are scored by Olympian Greg Louganis and actor Steve Guttenberg.
• “Celebrity Watch Party” (FOX): The One Where Celebrities Watch Friends
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Megan Thee Stallion – Her song ‘Savage’ featuring Beyoncé, has hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. It’s her first Billboard chart-topper, and Beyoncé’s seventh.
• Migos — have confirmed that their upcoming studio album won’t be called “Culture III”. The Atlanta trio had been expected to round off a trilogy of ‘Culture’-titled albums, following on from 2017’s “Culture” and 2018’s “Culture II”. According to Quavo, although the group has decided to change the name of the album, “Culture III” may be released sometime in the future.
• Britney Spears — self-quarantined for two weeks before her ex-husband Kevin Federline would allow her to see their sons. He has been homeschooling the two teenagers since the middle of March, when schools were closed due to the outbreak of the coronavirus.
• Eminem — has given his fans his number so they can text him their questions. He generated a number using the mobile phone social media platform Community so his “Stans” can personally quiz him. He tweeted: ”Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I just been busy” text me, I’ll hit you back 313-666-7440 #MMLP20 #DearSlim (sic)”
• Amy Winehouse – A film about her life could be released next year, according to her father Mitch. He’s suggested the new project will be a more truthful portrayal than the 2015 documentary “Amy”, which he says presented him and his daughter in a ”misleading” light. There is also a Broadway show planned.
• The Doobie Brothers — are rescheduling their 50th anniversary tour because of the pandemic. The tour, which was to begin in June, will now kick off in July 2021. It will still feature a reunion with singer Michael McDonald.
• Elvis Presley – His rhinestone-studded jockstrap is for sale, and it could be yours for just $40,000. The custom-made athletic support is being sold by one of the leading celebrity memorabilia companies. It was reportedly made by a fan and was worn by the singer until his death in 1977.
• Alan Jackson — has announced a pair of drive-in concerts. He’ll perform with his full band in Cullman, Alabama, on June 5th, and in Fairhope, Alabama, on June 6th. The “Small Town Drive-In” concerts will each accommodate approximately 2000 vehicles. A portion of proceeds will benefit food-relief efforts.
• Kip Moore – will release a short film to give fans an up-close-and-personal look at the creation process for his new album “Wild World”. The documentary “7 Days at the Rock” will chronicle his stay at BedRock, a remote facility he built in Red River Gorge, KY where he had been self-isolating. The film will premiere on Outside TV on May 28, one day before the release of Wild World.
GIVE ME SPACE…SUIT:
The age of large gatherings just might not be over. A Los Angeles creative studio has a potential solution to seeing concerts and attending other big events despite the pandemic. The “Micrashell” is a personal protective suit that would allow people to socialize without staying multiple feet apart. It looks like a cross between a hazmat suit, a scuba suit and a spacesuit. Wearers are protected from head to toe by a garment that includes LED light accents. A helmet equipped with an N95 filter covers the head, and a canister system allows wearers to drink or vape without taking off their helmet. The manufacturer, “Production Club”, which normally makes music, gaming and tech stages, fully admits that their creation looks like a fashion statement, in addition to its protective properties. They envision the Micrashell as something that would be rented out by venues, rather than owned by members of the public. Suits would be sanitized after each use. Production Club hopes to have a prototype created soon.
PHOTO
(I’ve seen the pics. If you wear one of those, you be social distancing – like it or not!)
(They’re sort-of a cross between Matt Damon in “Martian” and Will Ferrell in “Talladega Nights”…)
(I would HOPE they sanitize them after each use…because I can only imagine what happens when you put a helmet on someone who has been partying at Coachella for 36 hours straight…!)
-TasteofCountry
SMILE WHEN YOU SAY THAT:
Have you ever struggled to understand what someone at a supermarket or at work is saying when they’re wearing a facemask? Not only is their voice muffled, but you also can’t see their mouth to read their lips. And for people who are deaf or have hearing loss, masks can prevent them understanding anything at all. That’s one reason a number of organizations are calling for clear face masks to become the “norm”. “Main dans la Main” (Hand in Hand), an association which supports deaf and hearing-impaired people in France, is among the organizations that have created a mask with a transparent window. And they point out that masks that make the mouth visible are also useful for autistic people, those with learning difficulties and small children who might be afraid of masks or might need to see facial expressions. And others point out that clear masks in hospitals and other health care settings are essential to avoid miscommunication. There are many online resources online for making your own. And remember: A transparent mask allows you to see each other’s smiles, and that’s pretty important these days, too.
(I don’t just struggle to hear what masked people are saying, I struggle to figure out who they are!)
(You got it…pretty soon we’re all going to be walking around looking like the logo for The Rolling Stones!)
-BBC
PIGMENTS OF THEIR IMAGINATION:
Crayola has unveiled new packs of crayons to represent the world’s skin tones. “The Colors of the World” crayons will come in packs of 24 and 32, with the larger pack also containing four crayons each for hair and eye colors. Each pack will also include a side panel that serves as a color reference. The crayons include color names like “Light Golden”, “Deep Almond’, and “Medium Deep Rose.” Crayola says that they hope Colors of the World crayons will “increase representation and foster a greater sense of belonging and acceptance” and “advance inclusion within creativity and impact how kids express themselves.” Both new crayon packs are slated for release in July, in time for back-to-school season.
(Speaking from my own school-days experience, they all taste the same!)
(I knew this was coming when I visited my kid’s kindergarten class. The writing was on the wall…)
-CNN
WHAT WILL YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY ON – WHEN YOU CAN SPEND YOUR MONEY?
Most people have been hanging on to their money more than usual during the pandemic lockdown. In a survey of 1,000 Americans, here’s what they said they plan to do with their pent-up urge to spend once coronavirus restrictions are lifted…
• 26% plan to hit up their favorite restaurant ASAP
• 20% are planning to take a vacation
• 15% will travel to visit family
• 14% plan to have a haircut or manicure
• 10% will have pricey home repairs looked after
• 4% plan to get a gym membership
-NYPost
BEST TWEETS BY PARENTS THIS WEEK:
⇒ It’s the last week of school and I’m proud to say my husband and I have a B- in 3rd grade math. — @looksliketuttut
⇒ (It sounds like) Charlie Brown’s teacher, but it’s my kid explaining Minecraft to me. — @Marlebean
⇒ My middle schooler just remembered there is a lunch in her locker. — @simoncholland
⇒ My toddler demanded shorts and now he’s crying that they are broken because they don’t cover his legs — @snarkymomtobe
⇒ Welcome to parenting. Here is your collection of markers that have run out of ink, which you will inexplicably hold onto for a minimum of 2 years. — @copymama
⇒ I just wanted five minutes to drink my coffee so I sent my kid in the other room to look for a toy that’s in my pocket. Follow me for more parenting hacks. –@not_thenanny
⇒ [buying shoes for our kids] her: which do you like better? me: idk probably our daughter — @CAshmanActor
DID YOU KNOW?
A poll of 2,000 Americans found that nearly 40% of people would give up Netflix for a full year to have their home cleaned instantly. 19% said they’d give up their smartphones, and one in four parents are so tired of cleaning they said they’d live in the woods without electricity for six months for the chance to throw away their mops and brooms. 12% would opt for a face tattoo in exchange for a sparkling house.
-StudyFinds
BS CHRONOMETER 05.28.20
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [76] Gladys Knight, Oglethorpe GA, soul singer (Gladys Knight & the Pips-‘Midnight Train to Georgia’, ‘If I Were Your Woman’)
1945 [75] John Fogerty, Berkeley CA, rock singer/guitarist (‘Centerfield’, w/CCR-‘Proud Mary’, ‘Lookin’ Out My Back Door’)
1964 [56] Phil Vassar, Lynchburg VA, country singer-songwriter (‘Just Another Day in Paradise’, ‘In a Real Love’)
1968 [52] Kylie Minogue, Melbourne Australia, pop singer (‘The Locomotion’, ‘Can’t Get You Out of My Head’)/movie actress (“Moulin Rouge”)
1977 [43] Elisabeth Hasselbeck (Filarski), Cranston RI, TV co-host (“FOX & Friends” 2013-15, “The View” 2003-13)/reality TV contestant (“Survivor: The Australian Outback” 2001)
1978 [42] Jake Johnson, Evanston IL, TV actor (‘Nick Miller’ on “New Girl” 2011-18)
1985 [35] Colbie Caillat, Newbury Park CA, pop singer (‘Brighter Than the Sun’, ‘Bubbly’)
1985 [35] Carey Mulligan, London UK, movie actress (“The Great Gatsby”, “Drive”)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Hamburger Day”, a day to celebrate one of the cornerstone foods of Western civilization – the hamburger! While it was invented in Germany, its popularity spread like wildfire throughout the United States and Canada. (What burger topping can you absolutely NOT do without? And what one is a dealbreaker?)
• “Amnesty International Day”, commemorating the 1961 launch of ‘Appeal for Amnesty’ which evolved into today’s “AI”. The organization strives to protect human rights around-the-world by publicizing problems and encouraging citizens and governments to take action.
• “Brisket Day”, brisket is a tricky meat in that it comes from the animal tough, but if you find a particularly well-marbled piece and cook it correctly, it will become fork-soft and simply peel apart, making it the tenderest of tender meats. (Whoops! Drooled just a bit there…)
• “Slugs Return From Capistrano Day”, the slugs that have been living in the beautiful Mission San Juan Capistrano leave their winter haven and go back to the gardens and yards they came from. The holiday is a parody of “Swallows Return to Capistrano” or “Swallows Day” when, two months earlier in March, swallows migrate to Capistrano.
COMING UP . . .
[Fri] International Coq Au Vin Day
[Fri] Paper Clip Day
[Sat] Mint Julep Day
[Sat] Creativity Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1998 [22] Actor/comedian Phil Hartman (“SNL”) is murdered by his wife in his sleep at age 49
2010 [10] Gary Coleman, former child star of 1970s TV sitcom “Diff’rent Strokes”, dies at age 42 in Provo, Utah, 2 days after suffering a brain hemorrhage
2014 [06] Maya Angelou, author of “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” and many other works, dies of natural causes at age 86 at her home in Winston-Salem NC
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2014 [06] Apple pays $3 billion for Beats Electronics, the music company and headphone-maker started by music producer Jimmy Iovine and rap artist Dr. Dre
THIS DAY IN SPORTS . . .
2006 [14] Barry Bonds hits his 715th career home run, passing Babe Ruth on the MLB all-time list. (With a huge asterisk…)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1934 [86] Near Callander, Ontario, the Dionne quintuplets are born to Olivia and Elzire Dionne, the first quintuplets to survive infancy
2002 [18] ‘Mars Odyssey’ robotic spacecraft finds signs of large ice deposits on the planet Mars
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1987 [33] Paul Pearman jumps over 21 barrels … on a skateboard (Augusta GA)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ There are more English-speaking people in India than in the U.S., U.K. and Canada combined.
✓ South Africa’s national anthem is sung in five languages.
✓ Australia’s tallest mountain, Mt. Kosciuszko, and largest city, Sydney, are both named for men who never visited Australia.
✓ The Chinese words for “crisis” and “opportunity” are the same.
✓ The standard way for Russians to answer the telephone: “I’m listening”.
✓ In Caracas, Venezuela, the streets are blocked off on Christmas Day so people can roller skate to church.
-BathroomReadersInstitute
Best of BS . . .
BS BAD ADVICE FOR NEWLYWEDS:
• Whenever possible, wear matching outfits.
• Don’t take it so seriously. This one’s just a starter marriage.
• Make a list of every annoying habit your partner has and read it to her. Now that you’re married, she’ll want to change to make you happy.
• There is no need for a prenup because you are in love.
• Instead of going to bed angry, go to bed with someone else.
• Buy a timeshare while you are on your honeymoon. It’s a great investment!
• Now that you are married, feel free to let yourself go.
• Show her you care by making sure you get the last word in during any discussion.
• The grosser you act, the sexier you look.
• When she says she’s fine, she’s fine.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019
TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ California resident Scott Perry is “marrying” his beloved cat ‘Olivia Le Chat’ in order to raise funds for the animal shelter where the two met. (The happy couple is registered at Bed, Bath & Beyond Crazy…)
➠ An energy-efficient generator intended to power private residences could power autonomous military vehicles for months, according to Army researchers. (It’s not enough to have the largest military on Earth. Now the U.S. will also have the most pretentious)
➠ The National Spelling Bee, scheduled for this week, has been cancelled due to the coronavirus. (People think spelling doesn’t matter anymore. These people are wrong. W-O-N-G . . . wrong.)
➠ According to a survey, the thing that annoys us the most is a slow computer. (Coming in a close second: Anything Miley Cyrus does)
➠ I just read that just over 20% of flight attendants say they’ve had sex with a colleague during a flight. (So, evidently when the plane door closes, the “boarding process” isn’t over…)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Laziness is the mother of invention: https://tinyurl.com/y7peg7j8
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is your all-time favorite TV sitcom family? (According to a ranking by “Yardbarker”, the top 3, in order, are: The Bradys, The Bundys and The Simpsons.)
BS RANDOM JOKE:
You never realize how long one second actually is until you stare at the countdown of an ad you can’t skip.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: According to stats, 21% of adults will lose THIS at least once this year. What is it?
Answer: A credit card
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever could.
