Monday, May 30, 2022 — Edition: #7240

Sheet Rocks!

 

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ “Top Gun: Maverick” has become everything that Paramount, Skydance and movie theater operators everywhere hoped it would be. After earning a studio record $51.8 million on opening day, Tom Cruise’s latest is set to post the highest Memorial Day opening weekend in box office history. Industry estimates project a $142.5 million 4-day opening weekend from 4,735 theaters for “Top Gun: Maverick,” while Paramount is estimating $150 million. If it can push past $153 million, “Maverick” will break a Memorial Day opening record that has been held for 15 years by “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End.”
-TheWrap
★ Fans of ‘Indiana Jones’ will be excited to learn that Harrison Ford made an in-person appearance at Star Wars Celebration on Thursday to announce the release date of “Indiana Jones 5”. The still-untitled movie will be Ford’s last run as the adventurer. He told the live audience in Anaheim CA that the film is almost done and will again feature the score of John Williams. Here’s the bad news: Fans will have to wait until June 30, 2023, before they can run to theaters to see it. The film was originally scheduled for a July 10, 2020 release, before a number of production delays due to the pandemic and an injury sustained by Ford in a fight scene.
-TheBlast
★ “So You Think You Can Dance” recently introduced a new panel of judges, but one of them has already been fired. Matthew Morrison has exited the show shortly after its Season 17 premiere. In a statement, Morrison said that the decision to leave was left out of his hands after he failed to “follow competition protocols.” The Glee alum said that he is no longer able to “judge the competition fairly,” and “cannot apologize enough to all involved.” Morrison appeared alongside Jojo Siwa and Stephen “tWitch” Boss during the Season 17 premiere, and will appear in a total of 4 episodes that were pre-taped.
-PopCulture
★ Shanna Moakler’s marriage to Travis Barker is long gone, and she’s finally decided to cash in. The “Celebrity Big Brother” alum has put the engagement ring she got from her rocker boyfriend back in the day up for auction, and she stands to make a pretty penny. The 4-carat bling could be yours, if you have at least $51,000 — that’s the starting bid. Moakler says “it is a beautiful piece and truly was my dream ring,” and her selling it is a symbol of moving on. As you know, her ex, Travis Barker, recently moved on — by marrying Kourtney Kardashian (for a third time) in Italy.
-TMZ

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Rose Byrne, The Miz, Sebastián Yatra (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Chris Pratt, Benedict Wong, Ingrid Andress (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Sutton Foster & Hugh Jackman; Ali Wentworth; Carter McLean (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Bialik, Gillian Jacobs (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Minnie Driver, Paula Faris, guest co-host Lindsey Granger (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Thomas Jane, Michael Mealor
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Debi Mazar, Sunny Anderson, Pia Toscano, guest co-host Ali Wentworth
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): RuPaul, José Andrés, Jim & Sasha Allen (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show: (Check local listings): Bobby Brown, Alicia Etheredge-Brown, Melissa Rivers (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show (Check local listings): Awkwafina, Fran Drescher, Fat Joe, Benny Drama (R)
• “The Wendy Williams Show” (Check local listings): Guest hosts Vivica A. Fox & Carson Kressley (R)
• “American Ninja Warrior” (NBC): Fan favorites compete in the wildest ANW competition ever, as iconic obstacles get super-sized — some as high as 80 feet.
• “Don’t Forget the Lyrics!” (Fox): A property manager from Lafayette LA, and a musical church minister from Avondale AZ, compete.
• “Beat Shazam” (Fox): Teams test their musical knowledge.
• “NHL Playoffs” (ESPN, SN): Second round action: NY Rangers at Carolina Hurricanes in game #7

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Harry Styles — has committed over $1million to a gun safety support fund in the US. Together with Live Nation, he pledged the money to the “Everytown for Gun Safety Support Fund” following the Uvalde school shooting last week.
• Olivia Rodrigo – A lookalike is going viral, and even Rodrigo thought it was her at first. A TikTok’er posted a video with the caption, “@Olivia Rodrigo I found your twin!!”, showing her sister Aurea Ocampo at the Sour Tour dressed like Olivia, and fans asking her to pose with them. It’s been viewed over 1 million times, and the real Rodrigo commented: “no I thought she was me too”. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2p92whbx
• Ringo Starr — is selling NFTs. The 81-year-old’s collection features digital artworks accompanied by signed canvas prints. Quote: “You never know where a new idea or path will lead you…Who’d have thought I would be spreading Peace and Love in the MetaVerse.”
• Neil Young – will released the long-shelved Crazy Horse album “Toast” this July. Toast is named after the San Francisco studio in which it was recorded in 2001. Young made the now-deleted announcement on his blog, last week, writing: ‘Toast’ was so sad that I couldn’t put it out. I just skipped it and went on to do another album in its place. I couldn’t handle it at that time.
• Kiss — Original members Ace Frehley and Peter Criss reunited on stage Friday at Creatures Fest in Nashville. They performed 2 early KISS classics during Frehley’s set, ‘Hard Luck Woman’ and ‘Strange Ways’, both featuring Criss on lead vocals. Creatures Fest is an annual Kiss-themed convention.
• Ronnie Hawkins — The legendary Arkansas-born rockabilly singer who became a star after moving to Toronto, died Saturday at 87. Although he scored hits such as ‘Mary Lou’, he may be most famous for cultivating The Band, a group of mostly Canadians who started as his back up group The Hawks, and later backed Bob Dylan, before breaking out on their own. Others who worked in Hawkins’ group include Roy Buchanan, Beverly D’Angelo, David Foster and Lawrence Gowan.
• Steve Earle – Friday, he released “Jerry Jeff”, a tribute to influential cowboy troubadour Jerry Jeff Walker, who passed away last Oct. After performing in a Texas concert celebrating Walker’s life, Earle took his band, The Dukes, into a studio, where they recorded 10 of Walker’s songs.
• Craig Morgan — got to see the fruits of his labor after competing on the CBS show “Beyond the Edge”. He chose Operation Finally Home as the charity he raised money for, and presented them with a check at the Grand Ole Opry’s “Salute the Troops” last Tues.  He won $70,000 for the organization, and thanks to Monster Energy Cares, that total was elevated to an even $100,000.
• Miranda Lambert – was named among Time’s “100 Most Influential People of 2022,” and she’ll be performing during a televised gala June 12 on ABC, celebrating the honorees. The only country star on this year’s list will be on a bill that also includes Mary J. Blige and Questlove. Simu Liu will host.

SHOOTING THE BULL

TERMINAL HAPPINESS:
Got travel plans? New research says Sunday is the worst day of the week to fly. A study, by HappyOrNot, analyzed data from airports in more than 30 countries, and Sunday came out on the bottom. The best day to fly? Wednesday, although it should be pointed that positive feedback was only 3.6% higher for Wednesday travel over Sundays (84.6%-81%). And if you’d like to get REALLY technical, the worst time of day to fly is midnight (77.3% positive). The best time? 8am . . . with 86.6% reporting that to be a positive experience.
(I haven’t been anywhere in 3 years…trust me, ANY day is a good day to fly!)
(I’ve been to the airport recently. ANY day is the worst day to fly!)
-NYPost

HAS NO ONE HEARD OF SIRI?
If you’re a new parent, you’ll be familiar with this routine: Those with children under 2 years of age Google baby questions about 6 times per day, on average, according to a poll. That amounts to about 2,000 questions Googled in a year. The survey, conducted by OnePoll for CeraVe, found that questions these new parents are Googling most-often tend to be about which baby products are recommended by experts, and how to take care of skin conditions like diaper rash, both at 43%. Other most-Googled topics include:
• Questions about feeding the baby (40%).
• Why their baby might be crying (38%).
• Why the baby isn’t sleeping (37%).
38% of parents surveyed admitted they were surprised by how little they actually knew about caring for a newborn in that first year. But Dr. Google isn’t the only expert that new parents consult with. New Moms and Dads also called their own parents an average of 56 times in the first year, and reached out to medical experts 67 times. They also say they spent an average of 1,600 hours holding their baby, and struggled through 77 sleepless nights.
(2,000 questions per year? Actually, that sounds kinda low to me!)
(I don’t believe this. For one thing, a new Mom doesn’t have a hand free to Google anything. For another, if she did, she’d be using it to stop the next household disaster!)
(…and by the second or third kid, they’re like, “Ah, whatever happens, happens…)
-Romper

NEW GOOD NEWS:
➢ Groundbreaking research by a team of US doctors could be the breakthrough needed for a cancer cure. Scientists have injected the first-ever human patient with a new cancer-killing virus called Vaxinia. In animal trials, the oncolytic virus has been found to shrink colon, lung, breast, ovarian and pancreatic cancer tumors. The drug was developed by a combined team from cancer research institutes Imugene Limited and City of Hope. One team member, an oncologist, said: “Oncolytic viruses can stimulate the immune system to respond to and kill cancer, as well as stimulate the immune system to be more responsive to other immunotherapies.” Clinical trials should be complete in early 2025.
➢ A blind girl has amazed doctors after she regained her sight and “cured herself” of what’s usually a life-long brain condition. Evie-Mae Geurts was registered blind at just a few months old, and when her head started to swell a few months later, doctors discovered she had hydrocephalus, the build up of fluid in the brain. The pressure inside her head was 32 times normal level, and doctors warned while they could help relieve the pain and build up, the damage to her brain was done. Her sight was “gone forever”, and she’d likely never learn to walk and talk. Against all the odds, not only did her sight return when she was a toddler; Evie-Mae also learned to walk and talk. Wondrously, her hydrocephalus disappeared last year. Usually, hydrocephalus is a condition which can’t be cured and forever requires shunts to drain fluid from the area. Evie-Mae is now thriving as a 7-year-old. She lives without shunts, is top of the class, and can see perfectly without glasses.
-LADBible, Newsweek

SURPRISING WAYS TO MAKE MOSQUITOS BUG OFF:
➠ Breeze:  Almost any breeze above 1mph (1.6kph) makes it difficult for them to fly. Pick a breezy spot outdoors…aim a fan on you at night. It works better than those fancy ultrasonic devices and apps. (Heck, take a fan with you outside!)
➠ Stay Cool:  Mosquitos are drawn to you by the pheromones released in your sweat, so cool off and don’t sweat. Yes, easier said than done in the summer. (How [swat!] am I [swat!] supposed to stay cool [swat!] with all these [swat!] mosquitos flying around? [swat!])
➠ Give your heart a breather:  They also search for carbon dioxide to identify food sources. Exercise, alcohol, and spicy foods all increase CO2 production. (My heart starts beating faster just thinking about not being able to drink all summer…)
➠ Plant plants:  Certain plants discourage mosquitos from hanging around your house. Those include citronella, lavender, marigolds, lemongrass and basil. (Especially if they’re on fire!)
➠ Get rid of standing water:  Mosquitos can breed in small containers of water like a birdbath or even water sitting around your plants…and so can some viruses common to mosquitos. (Reason #26 to leave your pool closed and use your neighbor’s!)
➠ Wear tightly woven, light-colored clothes:  Mosquitos can’t penetrate material with a very tight weave. Many synthetic fibers, like hi-tech athletic apparel, tend to resist them. (Then how is it that one got me right through my jeans…AND my lawn chair??)
➠ Avoid scented products:  Any scented perfume, lotion, or soap could attract them. (Unless you happen to wear “Deet” after-shave…)
-Prevention

DID YOU KNOW?
It’s Queen Elizabeth II’s Platinum Jubilee on Thursday, and to mark the special occasion, UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson is set to announce the return of imperial measurements. A government source says Johnson will confirm that retailers will soon be permitted to sell items in pounds and ounces rather than the grams and kilograms they currently use. For almost 60 years, the UK has used the metric system, and while it’s always been legal for items to be priced using pounds and ounces, they must also be priced in grams and kilograms. It’s thought that retailers will be able to choose which of the two, pricing methods, or both, they wish to use in the future. (So, price tags will tell you how many pounds you’ll pay – per pound?)
-LADBible

BS CHRONOMETER 05.30.22

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Memorial Day”, in the US, honoring men and women who have died while serving in the military. It began in the years following the Civil War, in which more soldiers sacrificed their lives than in any previous conflict. After the war ended in 1865, the first national cemeteries were established. Memorial Day is also considered the unofficial start of summer in the United States.
• “Mint Julep Day”, celebrating the delicious and refreshing Summer cocktail made with bourbon whiskey, mint, water, and sugar. Sounds best if you order one using a Southern accent.
• “Water a Flower Day”, because nourishing a little bit of natural beauty might be the only truly worthwhile thing you do all day. (No, Rover! Stop!)
• “Loomis Day”, Mahlon Loomis was a dentist, the inventor of artificial teeth and one of the earliest inventors of wireless communication (in 1872). (Thanks to him, your mother can text you about what she’s having for dinner!)
• “World MS Day”, the Multiple Sclerosis International Federation’s annual campaign to raise awareness of the condition, and to support and connect the 2.3 million people living with it.
• “National Creativity Day”, whether you’re an artist, writer, musician, filmmaker, blogger, photographer, graphic artist, or any of 100 other creative personalities, today we celebrate you and your creative pursuit. (My creativity peaked with a macaroni necklace in kindergarten…)
• “Hole In My Bucket Day”, this wacky holiday is in honor of the fun children’s song ‘There’s a Hole in My Bucket’. (Yup. Slow day.)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Smile Day
[Tues] World No Tobacco Day
[Wed] Dare Day
[Thurs] Leave the Office Early Day

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1964 [58] Wynonna Judd [Christina Ciminella], Ashland KY, country singer (‘No One Else on Earth’, The Judds-‘Love Can Build a Bridge’)

1964 [58] Tom Morello (“The Nightwatchman”), Harlem NY, rock guitarist (Rage Against the Machine-‘Killing in the Name’, Audioslave-‘Like a Stone’, touring member of Springsteen’s E Street Band)

1971 [51] Idina Menzel, Syosset NY, Broadway actress (“Rent”, “Wicked”)/movie actress (‘Queen Elsa’ in “Frozen”)/pop singer (‘Let It Go’)

1971 [51] John Ross Bowie, New York City, TV actor (‘Barry Kripke’ on “The Big Bang Theory” 2009-19, ‘Jimmy’ on “Speechless” 2016-19)

1975 [47] Cee-Lo Green [Thomas Callaway], Atlanta GA, rapper-pop vocalist-songwriter-producer (‘Forget You’, Gnarls Barkley-‘Crazy’)/TV personality (“The Voice” 2011-13)

1999 [23] Sean Giambrone, St. Joseph Michigan, TV actor (‘Adam Goldberg’ on “The Goldbergs” since 2013)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2008 [14] “Sex & The City: The Movie” opens in theaters

2014 [08] “Maleficent”, starring Angelina Jolie as the villainess from “Sleeping Beauty”, debuts in movie theaters

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2000 [22] Eminem’s second major-label release, “The Marshall Mathers LP”, becomes the fastest-selling rap album ever, unloading 1.76 million copies in its first week

2015 [07] Enrique Iglesias slices his fingers open while trying to grab a drone camera taking pictures of the audience at his concert in Tijuana, Mexico

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1911 [111] The first “Indianapolis 500″ auto race is held (Ray Harroun wins, averaging 75 mph (120kph)

2020 [02] SpaceX becomes the first private company to launch astronauts into space, as the Falcon 9 rocket carries the Dragon capsule from Cape Canaveral to the International Space Station.

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1979 [43] Ted Coombs begins a 5,193-mile (8,357km) roller-skate from LA to NYC

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Due to gravitational effects, you weigh slightly less when the moon is directly overhead.
✓ Lighting hasn’t brought down a plane since 1963, due to engineering that lets the electric charge of a lightning bolt run through the plane and out.
✓ It takes 400 cacao beans to make one pound (454g) of chocolate.
✓ Potato chips are flammable, and make good kindling. Especially those powdered with seasoning.
✓ The longest-ever Monopoly game lasted 70 days. Straight.
✓ If you unfolded your brain, it would cover an ironing board.
-CTech, FactSlides

BS BAD DESCRIPTORS FOR WINE:
• Notes of cardboard, plastic and divorce court.
• The fruity undertones of a juice box found shoved between the seats of a ‘95 Dodge Caravan.
• Grape juice with a hint of feet.
• Has a gritty, sandy finish.
• Presents a pretentious and patrician feel, and attracts a gallimaufry of vague and abstract words that you won’t understand without a dictionary.
• Hints of leather, tobacco, lavender, pencil shavings and petroleum. But never of grape.
• Pairs nicely with pasture grass and repeatedly headbutting a wooden fence post.
• Like Sunny D, but with a kick.
• Tastes like a wrung-out bar rag.
• Jesus would have turned this crap back into water.
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS CELEBRITY PRODUCTS:
• Britney’s Pickle Spears
• Benedict’s Cumberbunds
• J-wow’s Shamwows
• Bra-rack Obama
• Prince Albert in a Can
• Liam Nissan
• Channing Tatum Tots
• Reese Witherspoon’s Pieces
• Johnny Deppity-Doo
• Oprah Winery
• Bjork & Beans
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Which do bees have exactly 5 of?
a) Legs
b) Eyes [CORRECT]
c) Stomachs
d) Lives

• Approximately how many hours a day do cats typically sleep?
a) 6
b) 14 [CORRECT]
c) 20
d) 24

• On which part of the body is the heart of a shrimp located?
a) Head [CORRECT]
b) Stomach
c) Leg
d) Butt
-OntarioHoney, WeLoveQuizzes

BS WEB GOODIE:
Just like the weekend . . . it’s gone (sound up):  https://tinyurl.com/bdn63n2a

BS RANDOM JOKE:
They told me I was gullible…and I believed them!

BS PHONE STARTER:
When was the most inappropriate time that you burst into uncontrollable laughter?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  60% of Uber drivers say THIS is one of the worst things you can do when they give you a ride.
Answer:  Slam the door

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You may only succeed if you desire succeeding; you may only fail if you do not mind failing.