Monday, November 28, 2005        Edition: #3168
Sweet Sheet!               

WEEKEND TABLOID BS:
• 19-year-old “OC” actress Mischa Barton is reportedly engaged to Kimberly Stewart’s ex-fiancé, 26-year-old rocker Cisco Adler. The Whitestarr singer, who was engaged to Rod Stewart’s daughter LAST YEAR, got down on one knee to pop the question to Mischa while presenting her with a giant bouquet of tropical flowers in Hawaii.
– “Daily Star”
• Gisele Bundchen has rebounded nicely from her split with actor Leonardo DiCaprio. Word has it her new man, surfer Kelly Slater, spent the Thanksgiving holiday with the uber-model. Leo, on the other hand, has reportedly looked ‘miserable’ ever since the break-up.
– “Page Six”
• Ashlee Simpson is reportedly dating former “Jackass” star Chris Raab, but she’s trying to keep the romance a secret from her domineering dad/manager Joe Simpson. The two were recently spotted smooching at the Key Club in Hollywood.
– “In Touch Weekly”
• Has-been actress Tori Spelling and her soon-to-be-ex- are fighting over custody of … their dogs. It seems Spelling has the rights of ‘Mimi’ and ‘Leah’, but hubby Charlie Shanian wants ‘scheduled visits’.
– “Life & Style Weekly”
• Former “Dharma & Greg”star Jenna Elfman is returning to series TV with “The Jenna Elfman Show”, playing a successful lawyer looking for true love in a new CBS-TV comedy which premieres in JANUARY.
– “Star Magazine”
• Brit actress Liz Hurley will marry her millionaire boyfriend Arun Nayar in India NEXT YEAR in a lavish 3-day ceremony with the groom making an eye-popping entrance … on an elephant. The star-studded bash will take place on the grounds of the 16th-century Devigarh Fort in Rajasthan, India, now a swanky 5-star hotel. Guests will include David & Victoria Beckham, Pamela Anderson, Elton John and his partner David Furnish, with David taking on the unusual role of ‘Maid of Honor’.
– “News of the World”
• Actor Tom Cruise says he’ll donate the sonogram (ultrasound) machine he bought for his pregnant fiancée Katie Holmes to a hospital after their child is born. Cruise bought the $200,000 equipment so he can keep an eye on the couple’s unborn baby.
– World Entertainment News Network
• Meantime, Tom Cruise is reportedly set to give Katie Holmes an incredible $20-million wedding present – her own customized Gulfstream executive jet, complete with on-call pilot and crew.
– “National Enquirer”

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bette Midler – TODAY she’s on ABC-TV’s “The View”.
• Brad Paisley – TONIGHT he’s on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”.
• Elton John – He and partner David Furnish have turned down an $11-million TV offer for rights to their DECEMBER 21st wedding. They say it just isn’t for sale.
• INXS – New frontman JD Fortune paused when fans began to cheer late in his rendition of “O Canada” before the Montréal-Toronto NHL game SATURDAY night, momentarily looking around at the crowd, then completing the anthem with a big grin.
• Neil Diamond – TODAY he guests on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.
• Queens Of The Stone Age – TONIGHT they do the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Usher – He’s taken a bold stand against … baggy jeans. He tells “Complex” magazine, “It’s about time for we, as young black men, to tailor it up, put a little shape in our jeans.”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SCHED:
• TONIGHT country star Trace Adkins performs the national anthem before the Pittsburgh Steelers-Indianapolis Colts game on “ABC’s Monday Night Football”.
• TONIGHT a 3-anchor team replaces Ted Koppel on “ABC Nightline”. Anchors Martin Bashir and Cynthia McFadden will be based in NYC, Terry Moran in Washington DC.

2005′s TACKIEST CELEBS:
The votes are in for the annual “Tacky Taste Awards” and here’s how the voting went for ‘Tackiest Celebrity of the Year’ …
10. Ashlee Simpson
9. Russell Crowe
8. Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt
7. Pamela Anderson
6. Dr Phil McGraw
5. Anna Nicole Smith
4. Sienna Miller & Jude Law
3. Whitney Houston & Bobby Brown
2. Paris Hilton
1. Tom Cruise
– “LA Daily”

BREWS FOR BOYS:
It’s like something out of “Charlie & the Chocolate Factory” – at the end of a factory tour of Avery’s Beverages in New Britain CT, a young visitor who was invited to make his own carbonated concoction mixed up all 6 traditional Avery’s flavors to create an inky-green drink that an adult in the group dubbed ‘Swamp Juice’. That started the ball rolling, and now the bottler has a line of drinks invented by and targeted at 9- and 10-year-old boys. Others include: ‘Toxic Slime’ and – yummy – ‘Dog Drool’. A company rep notes that boys that age tend to resort to bathroom humor pretty quickly, so 90% of the names they suggested couldn’t be used. (And the beverages looked like they had already been used.)
– “Hartford Courant”

AMERICA’S MOST DANGEROUS CITIES:
According to “City Crime Rankings”, an annually-published reference book that’s coming out TODAY …
5. Richmond VA
4. Flint MI
3. St Louis MO
2. Detroit MI
1. Camden NJ (2nd year in-a-row)
NET: http://www.morganquitno.com

UPSIDE-DOWN TANNENBAUM:
In the trendiest homes this holiday season, the Christmas tree will no longer point upward with a star perched on top but instead will be hung downward, attached by the end of its trunk to the ceiling. Traditionalists may scoff, but the upside-down tree does have history on its side. According to various sources on Christmas lore, when 12th-century celebrants began hauling evergreens indoors to celebrate the holiday, they hung them by their trunks. (Looks cool, but it sure makes them tough to water!)
– “Dallas Morning News”

USA’S WORST STATES FOR AUTO-DEER COLLISIONS:
According to a new survey by State Farm Insurance …
5. Georgia
4. Ohio
3. Illinois
2. Michigan
1. Pennsylvania
– CNN / “Money”

CONTRADICTING THE CONEHEADS:
Tech nerds at MIT have actually taken the time to experiment with the effectiveness of the ‘Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie’ (aka the ‘Tin Foil Hat’), touted by conspiracy theory nuts as protection against alien mind-control. The research, titled “On the Effectiveness of Aluminum Foil Helmets: An Empirical Study”, used $250,000 of equipment and 3 styles of tin foil hat (the ‘Classical’, the ‘Fez’, and the ‘Centurion’) to come to the sinister conclusion that the hats actually amplify radio signals beamed into the human brain. The authors of the paper say they hope their report will encourage the paranoid community to develop improved helmet designs. (Or at least better drugs.)
– “Curious Times”
NET: http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/
NET: http://www.zapatopi.net/afdb/

HE SAID IT:
• “I think Simon’s very vain. He wears platform shoes, has spray tans, wears makeup and dyes his hair, all in an attempt to look younger.”
– Louis Walsh, who’s just quit as a judge on the UK talent show “X Factor”, dealing the dish on the show’s creator and star, Simon Cowell.
• “I need to make a 50 Cent condom … and a motorized version of me.”
– 50 Cent, telling “GQ” magazine what he may be marketing next.

THE BIRDS & THE BEES:
New ways that animals are helping humans …
• ‘Wildlife Therapy’ is proving beneficial for children with emotional & behavioral problems, as exposing them to smaller animals, such as squirrels, owls and raccoons, seems to improve their quality of life.
• New research shows that pet ownership not only reduces the risk of heart disease in the elderly, but also reduces the risk of asthma and allergies in children.
• ‘Dolphin Therapy’ has been used to help children with autism, Down syndrome and other neurological disorders since the 1980s. Now, a new study suggests that swimming with dolphins can also effectively treat people suffering from mild to moderate depression.
– “British Medical Journal”

THE BULL SHEET 11.28.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [56] Paul Shaffer, Thunder Bay ON, CBS Orchestra leader (“Late Show With David Letterman” since 1993)/Letterman’s sidekick since 1982

1950 [55] Ed Harris, Tenafly NJ, movie actor (“A History of Violence”, “A Beautiful Mind”)

1952 [53] S Epatha Merkerson, Saginaw MI, TV actress (‘Lt Anita Van Buren’ on “Law & Order” since 1993)

1962 [43] Jon Stewart (Leibowitz), NYC, TV personality (4 Emmy Awards-“The Daily Show”  since 1999)

1967 [38] Anna Nicole Smith (Vickie Lynn Hogan), Mexia TX, gold digger married to Texas billionaire J Howard Marshall from 1994 until he died in 1995, whose long battle to claim a chunk of his estate is now going to the US Supreme Court/former stripper who became biggest (tallest, heaviest, biggest measurements) “Playboy” ‘Playmate of the Year’ (1993)

1974 [31] apl.de.ap (Allan Pineda Lindo), Angeles City, Philippines, hip-hop musician (Black Eyed Peas-“My Humps”, “Where Is the Love?”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Decorate Your Dog Day” to help your pooch get into the holiday spirit. (Tomorrow is ‘Get Back at the Master By Sticking Mistletoe Where the Sun Don’t Shine Day’.)

• “French Toast Day”. Either bread dipped in egg and fried … or perhaps a big ol’ glass of Champagne?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1925 [80] 1st radio broadcast of ‘Grand Ole Opry’ (WSM-Nashville)          

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1895 [110] 1st North American auto race begins in Chicago (J Frank Duryea’s winning car averages 7.5 mph, using 3.5 gallons of gasoline and 19 gallons of water!)

1979 [26] 1st NHL goaltender to score a goal (Billy Smith-NY Islanders)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1985 [20] Errol Bird of Lisbon, Northern Ireland sets world record with 26 hours of continuous yodelling (but he’s never invited to a party again)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Canadian Urban Music Awards (Toronto)
[Tues] Electronic Greetings Day
[Tues] Square Dance Day
[Wed] International Computer Security Day
[Wed] Stay Home Because You Are Well Day
This Week Is … Travelers with Disabilities Week
This Month Is … Family Stories Month

BULL’S BITS

BS THINGS YOU PROBABLY NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT:
A few uplifting thoughts to make a Monday morning seem a little brighter, thanks to some anonymous online philosopher …
• At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
• At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
• A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like you.
• You mean the world to someone.
• If not for you, someone may not be living.

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• We’ve all got something about our bodies we’d like to change if we could. What’s yours?
• What is your favorite store in the world?
• What is the least you’ve ever worn in public?

BS BLATANT JOKE:
A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Harry’s bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I’m going crazy. What do you think I should do?”
“Relax,” says the doctor, “take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, where exactly is Harry’s bar?”

BS WEB GOODIE:
Get your Moon land here! Makes a great prize … but then, couldn’t you just print up your own deeds?
NET: http://www.planetaryinvestments.com/

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: When it comes to asking a girl out on a date, 19% of guys will do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Rehearse every word.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
There is nothing more uncommon than common sense.

ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Welcome back to long-time “Bull Sheet” subscriber Ron Hunter @ Power 96 [KQPR] Albert Lea MN; and we salute samplers this week that include Deb Frye @ 98.5 KISS-FM [WDAI] Myrtle Beach SC; Darrel Angers @ MIX 96.5 [CJPG] Portage la Prairie MB; Kalan Huras @ N-101 Istanbul, Turkey; and Steve Greene @ The Eagle [KTUN] Aspen CO. Tell a colleague about “BS”. We’ll add ONE FREE MONTH to your subscription for each and every new subscriber you recommend. Bonus!!!


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