Friday, November 18, 2005        Edition: #3162
Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT Samuel L Jackson hosts the “Spike TV Video Game Awards” at the Gibson  Amphitheater in Los Angeles (to air DECEMBER 10th) , which will feature Vin Diesel, The Rock, Missy Elliot, Snoop Dogg, Ozzy Osbourne & the Red Hot Chili Peppers . . . TONIGHT “Dateline NBC” interviews John Lennon assassin Mark David Chapman to mark the 25th anniversary of Lennon’s death on DECEMBER 8, 1980 (50-year-old Chapman is eligible for parole again NEXT YEAR) . . . SATURDAY the “20th Gemini Awards Gala” on Global-TV, honoring the best in English-Canadian TV, features the presentation of special awards to the “Royal Canadian Air Farce” and comedian Steve Smith, of the recently-wrapped “Red Green Show” (NET: http://www.geminiawards.ca/gemini20/main.cfm). . . SATURDAY through NOVEMBER 29th the National Hemophilia Foundation’s “Blue Jeans for Genes” auction on eBay offers up autographed pants from the likes of Scarlett Johansson, Kenny Chesney, Martina McBride, Reese Witherspoon, Mike Myers & Tim McGraw (NET: http://www.bluejeansforgenes.com/) . . .
Stuck for an idea for your Christmas party? Movie actor/wannabe rock star Russell Crowe will travel anywhere in the world to perform during the holiday season, with or without his band 30 Odd Foot of Grunts – for the right money, that is – circa $800,000 in cash, plus first-class flights, 5-star accommodations, plus all other ‘expenses’ . . . Tracie Thoms, who stars in the upcoming movie version of the musical “Rent” (opening WEDNESDAY) , has joined the cast of CBS-TV’s crime drama “Cold Case”, playing a streetwise narcotics detective . . . Producers of ABC-TV’s big hit “Lost” are shooting 20 mini-episodes of original content that will be released exclusively on mobile phones sometime early NEXT YEAR (how long before my cellphone will toast bread?) . . . Will Ferrell (“Old School”) & Jon Heder (“Napoleon Dynamite”) are in negotiations to star in “Blades of Glory”, a comedy about 2 figure skaters banned from the Winter Olympics who invent a new twist that will allow them to compete – men’s pairs . . . And former ‘Hollywood Madam’, Heidi Fleiss, is moving to Crystal NV (80 miles outside Vegas) to run the ‘Cherry Patch Ranch’, a brothel featuring male prostitutes serving female customers (Quote: “I am opening up a stud farm!”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alanis Morissette – TONIGHT she does “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”.
• Korn – TOMORROW they’re the musical guest on NBC-TV’s “Saturday Night Live”.
• Mariah Carey – TODAY she’s on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.
• Shania Twain – She’s calling on her famous friends to design Stetson cowboy hats which will be auctioned to raise funds for her favorite charity, the Second Harvest Food Bank.
• Sheryl Crow – TONIGHT she guests on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Usher – His image will grace 2 new VISA gift cards this holiday season. Proceeds from the sales of the pre-paid debit cards go to his children’s charity, the New Look Foundation.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Walk the Line” ( PG-13 Biographical  Drama ): Joaquin Phoenix & Reese Witherspoon do all their own singing as they portray Johnny Cash & June Carter Cash in this chronicle of the country music legend’s life, from his early days on an Arkansas cotton farm to his rise to fame with Sun Records in Memphis, where he recorded alongside Elvis Presley (played by Tyler Hilton). Shooter Jennings plays his late father, country singer Waylon Jennings.
• “Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire” ( PG-13 Fantasy Adventure ): In this 4th installment of the film series based on JK Rowling’s best-selling novels, ‘Harry’ finds himself selected as an underage competitor in a dangerous multi-wizardry school competition. The film is also opening in giant-screen IMAX theaters. Critics are saying this is the best ‘Potter’ film so far. The $140-million budget may seem steep, but keep in mind the last film grossed $790 million worldwide.

THE WORD ON THE WYRDS:
A judge has dismissed a motion for an injunction filed by Winnipeg band The Wyrd (weerd) Sisters to block the release of the new ‘Harry Potter’ film because they claim their name has been stolen by Warner  Bros. Although a band called ‘The Weird Sisters’ (different spelling) IS mentioned in the ‘Potter’ books, the band in the movie goes unnamed because the folk group rejected an offer to pay for the name, then sued for $40 MILLION. The lawsuit is still pending. (Duh! Who’s going to believe an obscure folk group could earn that much – in 10 lifetimes?)
– “Winnipeg Sun”

SIGNS HE’S CHEATING ON YOU:
• He has a roving eye that just won’t quit.
• You smell a new cologne on his shirt.
• There’s been a drastic decline in physical intimacy.
• He doesn’t want to go out and makes excuses for not being together.
• He seems indifferent and preoccupied.
• He has a new favorite hang-out spot you hadn’t heard of before.
• He doesn’t return your calls.
• He stays out late and makes lame excuses.
• He suddenly has new friends you never knew about.
– Match.com

WHY WOMEN LOSE INTEREST:
A new Penn State University study refutes the conventional belief that women lose interest in their love-lives as they age due to hormonal changes. The research suggests the real reason may be – a negative reaction to their own body image. Regardless of a woman’s age, she’s most likely to consider herself more attractive when she was 10 years younger. And the more a woman considers herself less attractive, the more likely she is to experience a decline in sexual desire. Nearly 20% of women aged 35-to-55 who were polled could not think of a single attractive physical feature about themselves, and reported an overall sense of dissatisfaction with their bodies. The most disliked features – stomachs, hips, thighs & legs.
– AP

DID YOU KNOW?
Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, 2 rats could have over a million descendants.

BEST PICKUP LINES FOR WOMEN TO USE:
According to NYC matchmaker Lisa Ronis, pickup lines aren’t just for guys. She suggests women try these lines out next time they’re waiting for service at a bar …
• “Takes forever to get a glass of wine around here.”
• “Wow, somebody smells so good.”
• “You live around here?”
• “So what do you do?”
• “You guys on business?”
(Another line a woman can use that always seems to work is – “Hi.”)
– Netscape Love & Personals

MMM, TASTES LIKE CHICKEN:
The new Chiang Mai Night Safari Zoo in northern Thailand is based on Singapore’s Night Safari Zoo, and will feature about 2,000 animals of 100 different species. But the Thai version is offering a little something extra. Guests who fork out $110 at the New Year’s Day grand opening will not only get to see exotic animals – they’ll get to eat them! A special ‘Exotic Buffet’ at the event will include tiger, lion, elephant, giraffe and – dog meat. Critics have lambasted the idea, saying that it will encourage even more illicit trafficking in wildlife.
– Reuters

TOP INNOVATIONS OF THE PAST 25 YEARS:
5. E-mail
4. Fiber Optics
3. Personal Computers
2. Cellphones
1. The Internet
– CNN

THE BULL SHEET 11.18.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [66] Margaret (Peggy) Atwood, Ottawa ON, ‘dean of Canadian authors’ (Booker Prize- “The Blind Assassin”, Giller Prize-“Alias Grace”, Governor General’s Award-“The Handmaid’s Tale”)/Companion of the Order of Canada (1981)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2001)

1962 [43] Kirk Hammet, San Francisco CA, rock guitarist/singer (Metallica-“St Anger”)

1968 [37] Owen Wilson, Dallas TX, movie actor (“Wedding Crashers”)/brother of actor Luke Wilson

1979 [26] Fabolous (John Jackson), Brooklyn NY, rapper (Don Omar f/Fabolous-“Dale Don Dale”)

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
TV talk-show host Larry King (“Larry King Live”) is 72; Media/sports mogul Ted Turner is 67; Fashion designer Calvin Klein (CK jeans) is 63; Rock drummer Matt Sorum (Velvet Revolver) is  45; TV actress Allison Janney (“The West Wing”) is 45; Movie actress Meg Ryan (“When Harry Met Sally”) is 44; Movie actress Jodie Foster (“Flightplan”) is 43.

SUNDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
Rocker Joe Walsh (The Eagles) is 58; Rapper Mike D (Beastie Boys) is 40; Country singer Dierks Bentley (“Come A Little Closer”) is 30; Country singer Josh Turner (“Your Man”) is 28.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY –
• “Married to a Scorpio Support Day”, a day of remembrance to honor those who are married to Scorpios. Are they that bad? Any horror stories out there?
• “Mickey Mouse Day”, generally observed as his ‘birthday’ when he appeared in the cartoon short “Steamboat Willie” in 1928 (now making him a geezer mouse of 77!). It was the first cartoon with synchronized sound. That’s a good excuse to review …
BS SIGNS MICKEY MOUSE IS A SENIOR:
• Can no longer eat cheese because it ‘binds’.
• ‘Pluto’ is now 539 in dog years.
• Has to keep working ’cause his pension pays squat.
• Gets into Disney movies for half-price.
• Wears a really gigantic Miracle Ear.
• These days you only see him in Florida.
• Sometimes loses control and makes a really BIG ‘squeak’.

SATURDAY –
• “Elephant Round-Up” in Surin, the ‘Elephant Capital’ of Thailand. Events include a mock battle with over 100 elephants & costumed warlords; and special elephant competitions in strength, skill & obedience. There’s also a party for 200 elephants featuring a 60-ton buffet.
NET: http://www.tatnews.org/events/events/nov/2376.asp
• “Have a Bad Day Day”, for all the grouches who can’t stand being constantly told to
‘Have a Nice Day’.
• “World Toilet Day”, to encourage toilet hygiene. The Singapore-based World Toilet Organization promotes better design, ventilation and sanitation for the device that is still a luxury to 40% of the world’s population.
NET: http://www.worldtoilet.org/hp/wto_hp.htm

SUNDAY –
• “Cannabis Cup” in Amsterdam, Netherlands, where blowing a stick is legal. The 18th annual competition seeks the world’s top weed while participants attend seminars and ‘sample’ product.
NET: http://www.cannabiscup.com/ht/cancup/
• “Name Your PC Day”. Ask listeners what nicknames they’ve bestowed on theirs.
• “National Child Day” in Canada, an annual endorsement of a 1954 UN resolution to promote the welfare of the children of the world. This year theme is ‘The Right to Play’.
NET: http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/dca-dea/ncd-jna/main_e.html#NCD
• “Universal Children’s Day”, initiated by the UN in 1954 to promote the welfare of the children of the world.
NET: http://www.un.org/depts/dhl/children_day/

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1997 [08] 25 people are injured trying to get inside a Texas shopping mall for a concert by boy band Hanson (the same kind of ‘girl frenzy’ shut down a Minnesota shopping mall LAST WEEKEND when fans of new boy band B5 rushed the stage – a publicity stunt?)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1883 [122] 1st ‘Standard Time Zones’ adopted by railroads in Canada & the USA

1913 [92] 1st (intentional) ‘Loop-de-Loop’ flown in an airplane (next day, the ‘Barf Bag’ is invented)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1991 [14] Suzanne Ferrer of Loire Valley, France becomes a great-grandmother at age 49 (had her first child at age 16, her daughter gave birth at 17, and her granddaughter at 15)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] World Hello Day
[Mon] False Confessions Day
[Tues] 33rd American Music Awards (LA)
[Tues] Start Your Own Country Day
[Tues] Stop the Violence Day
[Tues] Microsoft Xbox 360 is released
[Thurs] US Thanksgiving Day
This Week Is . . . Culinary Week
This Month Is . . . Alzheimer’s Disease Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BEST BS WORDS THAT AREN’T REAL:

Here are a few terms that don’t exist – but should – according to submissions to Merriam-Webster Dictionary …
• Ginormous [adjective]: bigger than gigantic and bigger than enormous.
• Confuzzled [adjective]: confused and puzzled at the same time.
• Woot [interjection]: an exclamation of joy or excitement.
• Chillax [verb]: chill out/relax, hang out with friends.
• Cognitive Displaysia [noun]: the feeling you have before you even leave the house that you are going to forget something and not remember it until you’re on the highway.
• Gription [noun]: the purchase gained by friction as in, “My car needs new tires because the old ones have lost their gription.”
• Phonecrastinate [verb]: to put off answering the phone until caller ID displays the incoming name & number.
• Slickery [adjective]: having a surface that is wet and icy.
• Snirt [noun]: snow that is dirty, often seen by the side of roads and parking lots that have been plowed.
– CNN

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online …
1. Black Eyed Peas – “My Humps”
2. Bow Wow – “Like You”
3. Chris Brown – “Run It”
4. D4L – “Laffy Taffy”
5. Nickelback – “Photograph”
– Big Champagne online music measurement

BS BLATANT JOKES:
He’s a dyslexic agnostic … he doesn’t believe in Dog.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: When women wear THIS, men instinctively think they are at least 12% lighter than their actual weight.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A predominantly citrus perfume. (“Psychology Today”)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A fool and his money are invited everywhere.


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